A Northern Power (Not Nice)

Journals - Major Programs
#423

Spent a month away from this forum just to get my head straight and set priorities in my life. The first being getting to the root of my Nice Guy traits and the need to please people at work, even though they don’t deserve it. Other tools have been invaluable.

Even so, the idea of using SubClub albums still appeals, so I’d rather use Dragon Reborn stage 4, all of the “stand up for yourself, grow into a man, masculinity building” stuff. ST4 isn’t one I’ve used before, so I’d be intrigued in what it does in ZP2. That “confidence” eludes me, which is really fear of upsetting others, fear of receiving anger and a lack of self love. So maybe a does of Love Bomb too? Who knows.

2 Likes
#424

How about Phoenix + Love Bomb?

I ran 5 cycles of Phoenix and a lot is different for me and I just started Love Bomb solo on Sunday.

Sales page at bottom recommends Love Bomb with Phoenix. Check em out bro, see what you think.

Phoenix is one hell of a sub for us guys with past issues.

2 Likes
#425

Interesting combo, maybe you’re getting to the root of things, will try it out :+1:

#426

Love Bomb - good for others, not for me.

  • Partner and cat are more loving
  • I’m more pissed off.

I have no time to myself:
Work and partner take up all of my time, absolutely no thinking space to reconnect to myself. Really do think I want to abandon it all for a piece of air.

Feel quite smothered
Not liking this love thing - it’s suffocating me. Always believed that living without love was not so bad, now it is choking the life out of me.

I despite my current job
I hate faking it at work, listening to customers say the same thing over and over again, doing the same repetitive tasks day in, day out. There is no point to the job other than exchanging money and receiving abuse for the privilege. It’s boring af and I end up being the beta boy at the bottom, does the most, get the least shine.

I have no freedom
Relationship means compromising on a lot of stuff - likes, solo activities, can’t even talk to anybody else (male or female) lest I get accused of cheating!

I AM grateful for everything I get by the way! It’s just that the past meant I had to compromise on a lot of things including being a good little Nice Guy and repress my real self. If I had self love, would I even be in my current life situation? Shit no!

4 Likes
#427

Is it possible your partner does not respect you because you have yet to respect yourself?

Keep going with Love Bomb, I’m going solo with it. Small steps bro, pick one area to work on. Maybe work on doing what’s necessary to secure some time for yourself? If your partner starts acting up, it’s not about you…it’s their issue. Stay calm, hold the line and do not budge. “Boundaries” …it’s a struggle for us, I get it. Just start small and don’t budge on your need for personal time.

Stay strong, embrace the Love and Authenticity scripting.

4 Likes
#428

NEW Love Bomb is giving me such recon:

I wake up at 3 in the morning, with the hot sweats and a sick feeling to my stomach.

I snap at people, including my partner. I feel bored and at the same time a burgeoning excitement of self determination coming.

Forgetting to turn up at work…

I’m eating different without much prompting - a diet that’s lighter and more energetic.

Maybe that’s what the recon is about - the conflict between Mr Nice and Mr Me. Letting go of the falseness and embracing my self. It is ok to be interested in my own stuff and not always catering to the other in such a way as to forget yourself.

I am taking small steps to un-enmesh myself from the other: watching painting videos, learning languages and listening to music my partner dislikes in my spare time. Maybe “love” and “self love” has a different vibe about it than the controlling, infantile, fusing quality I’m used to. Love is scary - for the person that never experienced it

6 Likes
#429

Definitely not alone. First 2 weeks of LB I could barely tolerate 30s. It can be a rough one to run.

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#430

Wow, that’s bold. From the outside it might seem silly or “normal” to do this or that it needs conscious effort. But from self-experience I know that this is a huge step for that kind of relationship. I congratulate you, brother.

3 Likes
#431

I know how you feel. I started LB a few days ago and feel really bad about myself today.

Here for you Brother

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#432

I’m running one minute loops. Thirty seconds of masked and thirty seconds of ultrasonic. I’m basically deaf in my left ear which is my reasoning for running the ultrasonic track. I sometimes wonder if being deaf in one ear is slowing my results

@AnswerGroup @SaintSovereign @Fire

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#433

Struggled on LB too, all the best!

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#434

I just need to be patient.

#435

Ultrasonic sounds like it work better for you.

1 Like
#436

Not @SaintSovereign or @Fire would agree but I’m not sure what else to do

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#437

@AnswerGroup

1 Like
#438

Sanguine - the ultimate alpha sub

Someone on this forum suggested pairing Love Bomb with Sanguine. I never considered Sanguine for anything other than a relaxation sub (hence a little pointless).

However…

The sales copy of the New Sanguine made it very clear that one could use it to build and maintain confidence.

So I tried it - and it’s a beast of a sub!

I didn’t realise that fear kept running through my body as a jolt of energy over any perceived slights to my esteem. My confidence is quite sporadic - it comes out in bursts of fake Dutch Courage. But Sanguine is (against all odds) keeping that fear jolt at bay. So much so that I can actually start to focus on building and maintaining confidence in a way that I don’t have to tear myself down over others’ thoughts about me.

I had the wrong idea about confidence - it’s just about remaining calm and unflustered. Sanguine is doing that very well without conscious effort. Paired with the self-esteem focused Love Bomb and the foundation is starting to take root. :+1::crab:

13 Likes
#439

Sanguine is amazing. I recently came to the same realization as well.

It is liberating.

Edit: i think you can apply for the Arch Alchemist discount. I don’t know who to ask but I think you should qualify

2 Likes
#440

@Evolver @AnswerGroup @RVconsultant
How do I get Arch Alchemist status?

#441

Just send a support ticket. (You qualify as you have created more than 1250 posts.)

1 Like
#442

Yes, contact support. Tell them how many posts you have so they can verify.

2 Likes