I’m on my 3rd week, running it one day on/off. It is brutal. I’ve had what seems to be unprocessed grief (slight shortness of breath) blowouts at work and general lethargy, so taking it easy for now.
Funny that the last DR run a year ago wasn’t as nearly as harsh but got as far as stage 3 before quitting. This run seems different alongside Genesis with all of the resistance to the “child” survival patterns being shattered in pieces.
How so?
Genesis is hitting the spots that the other subs hadn’t, including Ascension. I was using Ascension as a foundational sub for a year, trying to fix all of my childhood stuff without much success. I didn’t say as much at the time. You don’t know what you don’t know.
Combined with DR, its giving a hard reset on my whole body, spirit, mind and foundation.
This is deep, dude!
What spots did it get that the other subs missed?
(If you don’t want to get too personal or detailed, that’s fine by me.)
Genesis is definitely a different beast altogether compared to other “foundational” subs.
Genesis managed to root myself in my own physical body, then gave me reassurance that I was a capable human being. It said it was ok to be a separate individual with my own goals, wishes and desires. It gave me a feeling of deep rooted assurance and confidence that I can handle whatever comes my way. Along with some actual healing that created a foundation.
Ascension gave me some alpha male characteristics but I needed a proper foundation that went underneath the hood. Girls, looking mean and getting respect is nice, but it never worked at full power, for the reasons Genesis is addressing.
This is profound! Thanks for posting!
I sometimes think with the alpha titles it’s easy for me to get stuck in a hypervigilant state. So I effectively don’t go deeper into building a foundation. Kind of hard to go deeper if you’re actively at war with stuff on the outside. Not sure it you ran into the same stuff.
Yeah pretty much. The idea of “getting respect” by indirect force sounded nice in theory, but we know all too well the effects of force on ourselves. There is far more under the hood to address than mere respect and “looking successful” to outer society.
I don’t know what’s going on but there have been two incidents I’ve been involved in where glass panels have shattered and I’m right next to it. Best guess is I reckon my aura field/vibration which surrounds me has changed drastically (or it’s bad luck 🤷 who knows) but this has happened twice in a month and I’m starting to wonder if there is a divine message being sent…
Right now on DR 1 week 3 I feel drained and emptied out from the solar plexus part, I’m shaken up and fearful at work. I also feel invigorated by the blowups at work, because there’s old stagnant energy being shaken up. DR is tough as hell, however Genesis keeps me moving and motivated to seek better for my life. I’ve started looking elsewhere for jobs, wanting to engage more in the education field and using as much healing as possible.
I was in a store today, feeling insecure with myself, and I thought of this @Michel. I slowly began feeling more confident.
But I had a similar awareness just days ago. Genesis is restoring something vital in me, for sure.
Thank you for taking the time to write it out.
Cheers @subliminalguy 
Despite still feeling like my insides are about to empty out onto the floor, the way I’m standing and walking looks strong and masculine; a strength of purpose and presence has come over me all of a sudden, despite not wanting to look alpha. Revisiting my old university after 5 years and saw how I was filled with insecurity, great anxiety and terror, being made homeless at the whim of my mother and STILL managing to graduate with a degree and masters. How much strength would that have taken? Loads.
I need to appreciate that and not let anyone belittle and demean me, my interests or my successes. They were hard earned.
Going forward, I also need to learn how to speak up and speak out for myself, I’ve relied too much on other stronger women to pull my socks up. I need to learn how to do that for myself and be the centre of my own life, rather a supporting cast role for another person.
Time to finally grow up and get on.
LBFH would do wonders for you on that matter, self love is a must 
Yep @elme, I asked my partner why she loves me because it seems such a bizarre concept… You love me just because? That makes no sense. In fact I don’t understand the whole meaning. Guess I’m more familiar with manipulation, anger, and trying to survive a rigged family system. Love is a very alien thing and one doesn’t need to do anything to get it…?
DR is messing me up - have a feeling of just wanting to escape and run back to “mother” where it is completely unsafe. It’s a completely different mode of operation that I’m learning and it’s unsettling, but a burgeoning new adult self is emerging.
Case in point, I’ve been awarded £50 in tips.
Sounds like DR is doing it’s thing.
Feeling stronger since the Saturday emotional flashback. Stronger like a rod up my ass. Still feel purged and hollowed out from the solar plexus from all that healing. Struggling with trying to overcome historic trauma and yet it is actually happening for real with DR and getting a sense of direction with Genesis. For the first time in my life, my own soul is running the show.
Faced down a terror fear of working with people who dislike me and I passed with flying colours! I went in with the intention of doing a great job for myself - fuck what the other person was doing… Now I feel like the dragon unleashed and 20x stronger and more confident!
Excuse the crudeness but the Dragon strength comes from knowing who the fuck I am, what I stand for and my own agenda. Others can talk cash shit about me if they want - doesn’t affect me…
Even though Dragon Fire has taken my soul and crucified it on the cross, I’ve been the rising wounded phoenix who knows he’s just tasted a greater power for the first time. 
Benefits of Stage 1 so far
all round basic foundational confidence with no doubts whatsoever about who I am 
no matter where I am
continual releases of past trauma and anxiety. Recon on week 4 is now just mild tiredness
work (still a bag of shit) is becoming easier because I don’t intimidate easily anymore, soft skills like assertiveness are emerging naturally without the fake posturing. I called security
being more precise and present without escaping into dissociation the minute stuff gets difficult, or self sabotage fearing success. (still needs some work)
threats no longer faze me, I called security on an old abusive man who previously called me a monkey and felt no way about him being accosted by two big bastards.
art is still very important to me, seeing and creating art. I’m leaning more towards erotic paintings as a specialism because that seems to drive me in some way. Ultimate Artist got a loop and my works have become looser and more expressive.
I’ll be taking a washout in a few days time before ST2, but I’m impressed. Living anxiety free seemed an impossibility a year ago, now it’s real.
Its good to see you fighting your own inner demons or accept them, either way its shadow work that really makes a difference in making ourserlvs better.
I know i am a pain in the ass, but i cant see someone suffering like i did and not doing nothing about it, you need to quit that toxic Job or become the Boss and change stuff there, it will only consume you brother trust me.
There is tons of things to do online nowadays or even better making your own biz, i discovered one time that i would make more money fishing shrimp in sea rocks for 2 hours a day than a Director of a company, it was kinda of Eureca moment for me abour my time, effort and money.
Dragon Reborn ST1 washout
Summing up the ST1 experience and (shit job aside) I feel a lot more solid, less fearful, more grown up and a tad more loving to myself. I’ve gotten through some tough times (which included tough recon) and come out of it better prepared. Feeling more comfortable within and seeing potential in choosing a direction in life.
Still having occasional freakouts but that’s the nature of such a shitty hostile work environment. Luckily I move very soon
After a few days it’s ST2, I’m told it is just as difficult as ST1 but bring it on!
Thanks to Genesis my needs are as follows:
Wondering if Ascended Mogul/DR ST2 would be a good idea…?
Echoism
I’ve just learned this term to describe a victim of narcissism. It fits me to a T exactly what I’ve been trying to battle for my whole life.
Echoism is described as a response to growing up with narcissistic parents:
Lack of sense of self, low self esteem
Fear of becoming selfish
Fear of taking up space
Fear of asking for what you want
Going along to get along
Avoiding attention
Caretaking (involuntary)
Bad boundaries
In my relationship, I’ve found myself saying things like “I’m upset because I’m too sensitive” because I disagreed with someone. Agreeing is easier than disagreeing (risking anger from others). That is echoism.
The solution seems to be finding that manly drive and believing that yes I am my own person and deserve to be!
However playing DR it seems l’m also getting the classic reconciliation where it’s ok to not play ST2 because of… reasons.
Difficult shit to overcome.