Day 17
3 min SSX, 3 min LB
Day 17
3 min SSX, 3 min LB
Day 18 rest
Insight(s):
-I say I want a girl(s) in my mind, but when? Sometime once Iāve got everything under control. What do I have to do to feel that way?..
-What if I met a girl(s) who liked me and wanted to do X, Y, and Z with me despite me feeling like Iām not ready/worthy yet?..How would I react?
-Maybe me feeling like I need to do things first before having a girl(s) IS the block to me have a girl(s).
-Is it possible I can have girl(s) who are the type I want despite me feeling unready/unworthy? How would I be in this situation? If no matter how not together I feel I am, I meet girls who like me and are 100% down anyway and itās no problem for them? How would I feel about THEM? Would I judge them? If so, is there anyway I can change my way of thinking to NOT judge them for that?..
edit: did something super random and decided to take a yoga class for the first time ever. It was good, I was very nervous and embarrassed inside the class because I just barely knew what to do, but afterwards I felt/feel really chill and much of my normal anger/irritability of normal life (possibly partly recon lol) got turned down from like an 8 to a 2. Truly feel centered. Apart from that, I do notice that this stack is less sexual than my previous one (where I ran PS instead of LB), though I do notice people being nicer and I feel more respectful and empathetic towards others, which is positive so itās a give and take. Also I think Iāve been getting more recon on this stack, maybe partly due to it being āaura heavyā (LB and Wanted).
What I noticed on my journey, is that ready/worthy isnāt as important as I guessed before.
I entered my first relationship with 31. Lost my virginity a few months in.
Now weāre happily engaged.
Look out into the world. Look at all the couples out there. Youāll find, that there are many guys in a relationship, that arenāt as mature as you are now. There are many guys in a relationship, that arenāt that worthy. Still they are in a relationship.
When I started my journey into personality development, I wanted a gf asap. After some time, I realized that I needed to clear some topics first. The I healed my self love two months later. Then I thought, first becoming financially independent from my family, then Iām ready for a relationship. But I found my one true love only a few weeks later.
My relationship showed me where I needed to grow. A partner is a mirror that triggers you and by that shows you where you still need healing.
Only now Iām finally ready to get a job. It was a hard process to get there. But itās done.
Donāt think to much. Work as much as possible on yourself. Become the partner your ideal partner dreams of. And when the opportunity shows itself, take it.
Wow, congratulations man. What sub(s) were you running if you donāt mind me asking?
Day 19
3:13 min Wanted
Insight/method I thought of:
If you have trouble attaining something (money, losing weight, romance, sex, etc.), think of something you EASILY attain. Feel whatever feelings associated with how easy that thing is to attain for you. Then think of the thing you have trouble attaining while holding that feeling. Keep doing that as long as you want, throughout the day, etc.
I discovered subs only in September, but they helped me tremendously on the last step.
Iām on NewEmperor and GM
Iāve run NR, SSX and LBfH aswell for a cycle each.
But biggest impact Iād ascribe to NewEmp and GM with resilience and uncovering what stopped my purpose from effecting my life.
Only that step was accompanied by subs
Day 20 rest (washout started)
Kinda got bad sleep and was working today and gah neediness, anger, irritability, fahhhk.
Edit: day got better. Went for work later and had a few brief but flirty/fun interactions with some cute girls. Later was watching a show with my brother and he made a joke about me being an incel. It was a joke but I was actually pretty mad/sad on the inside from it, but that says more about me than him. Honestly still kinda mad when I think about it, makes me want to prove to him (and myself) heās wrongā¦
Day 21
Not sure if I should just stop now or do short loops of LB and SSX.
Edit: yeah Iām gonna leave out the last loops and begin washout today lol. Talked to my brother about the joke he made I was all mad and hurt and then after discussing I realized I completely misinterpreted the joke and then felt really bad and stupid I think itās recon. So thatās cleared up but ugh yeah I think recon can make me all hypercritical and on edge sometimes. Have to try to remember and control that.
Day 22 washout
Libido not as high on this cycle. Will probably switch out LB for something else on next (or will make a custom)
edit: SSX + WB + True Sell sounds nice, or just two of thoseā¦
Day 23 washout
Pretty bad recon, or just bad sleep. Woke up feeling not well rested, and was just feeling angry, needy, just crazy most of the day. -_-
Day 24 washout
Today definitely felt better upon waking. Was in a very minor traffic ācollisionā, perfectly fine, no big deal, just broke my right mirror. Dealing with my dad and brother after that was stressful though. Felt needy a little bit before that, but the collision thing totally took my mind off that (lol). Went to yoga later which helped a lot. People definitely seem to be a bit nicer to me with the addition of LB, but I think I need more inner work for it to be more effective.
Iām glad you are alright.
Day 29 washout
Starting to feel back to normal, i.e. no more recon symptoms feeling like my normal happy/hopeful self again. Spent all day at home yesterday, but I think I needed it. I think I had more intense recon with this cycle than the previous one, maybe because LB was just so not like me, not sure. Want to do a custom next, still tinkering with the modules though.
Day 32 washout
Okay, I was going to buy a custom with WB core and Inner Circle, but Iām thinking maybe iāll just straight up run SSX ALONE PERIOD. No more 2-3 title stacks, Iāll keep it hyper-focused on pickup/approach/sex.
edit: okay I lied, Iām running SSX + WB
Why not SSX + WB?
Oh lol, just edited my comment right when your reply showed up should I start a new journal or continue here?
Day 1
SSX 15 min, WB 15 min
edit: today was good drove for Uber Eats for a bit, and met this cute Russian girl who barely spoke English who was also driving for Uber Eats, had a fun/flirty/cute interaction with her but oooohh I didnāt ask for her number
Weird how the manifestations like that seem to happen when youāre not expecting it. Later went to a relaxing Yoga class that was really gentle and one of the first times I didnāt feel like I was dying lol
LOL thatās hilarious man
Great minds think alike
Keep the journal going here, itās cool to see the evolution all in one place
Day 2 rest
Was good, definitely feels more fun, chill, and sexual than last stack. Talking to girls is fun and easy
Day 3
15 min SSX, 15 min WB
Still another good day, feel chill and un-reactive (at least more so than usual). Flirty with some girls here and there.