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Journals - Major Programs
#473

Day 6 rest

So early today I smoked more :maple_leaf: than I meant to, and pretty much had an anxiety attack for like 1.5 hours. It was like anxiety but also I felt Khan was slamming me, I was questioning myself, my beliefs, the things I do, why I do them etc. and I couldn’t tell if that was the cause of the anxiety or if it was just recon occurring alongside weed induced anxiety. And there was existential panic like “everyone is gonna die and none of us can save anyone from it”. But another thought was “if I died right now, people would really listen to me, but we’re all dying anyway so in a way, we’re all already having our last moment with each other.” Maybe just high thoughts, but yeah it was intense. But afterward, when I calmed down, I just felt calm, unshakeable, and thankful. Thankful for not having anxiety anymore but also just thankful to be alive.

Edit: might run either SSX or Wanted with ST2 tomorrow…

#474

Day 7

3 min Khan ST2, 30 sec SSX (ran later in day).

So I’ve never ran a wealth title. It’s been pure seductive/social/status my entire 1 and a half year journey here. I haven’t even kissed a girl yet. Lol. Have I gotten more female attention/looks? Definitely. Have I gotten good at flirting whereas before I never really flirted? Definitely. Have my social skills improved? Yes. So the subs have delivered A LOT, but I think there is something inside me stopping me. Is it pure laziness? Maybe. There’ve been many times where my brother invites me out but I just stay home because I’m relaxed and don’t feel like it. I’m starting to feel like @sei except instead of money being the problem, it’s attraction/romance. Sei says he just can’t make money, well, I just can’t get a girlfriend or hookup lol. Like I’m never in the right place at the right time, it’s like I’m cursed. Anyway, part of me wants to shift focus to wealth because that is something I have no inner demons about (unlike attraction/seduction which I very much do), but I also want to conquer this annoying “beast” before switching. I want to fucking finish this and actually get a real physical/tangible result.

Edit: so I decided to break the algorithm and go out tonight, I went with my brother and a couple friends to a dance club. The thought of going home and doing nothing was super frustrating, so I said “f*ck it” and just went. On the way though I kept almost turning around because I was tired and nervous (I haven’t been out in months), but thought “no, it’s one of those situations where I have to just go and follow through even if I REEEALLY don’t feel like it”, and figured even just going and doing this was a victory because of how nervous I was. Well, it was very good. Talked to friends a lot, it was a nice atmosphere, and lots of young pretty girls. Didn’t walk up and talk to any girls outside our group because, baby steps.

Anyway all this to say it was good. It felt like a release valve I needed (maybe partly or entirely due to the subs because “action taking” scripting).

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#475

Remember Khan will take the longest but it’s the highest reward. Not just socially. In 2026 when you are a subliminal super-responder, it’ll be because of your Khan run.

And if you really have a block like you say you do, it’s your best option by far.

But it’s a foundation. All you’ve done with Khan so far is run ST1 for a bit, which is the foundation, not the building, and start ST2 as of recently, which is building the scaffolding.

Before this, you were mainly focused on the completed skyscraper (with WB), and now you’re building the foundation after the fact.

Give it time, it’ll go well, and if you’re considering balancing it out with wealth, I’d say go for it, but not switch off Khan. khan + EOG is an incredible combo - and part of seduction is status (khan) but another part of it is joy and love of your own life (EOG)… so perhaps EOG will help unblock khan results.

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#476

So no girl action till 2026? Lol idk if I can accept that man. I’ll be fucking 33. If I was in my 20s maybe I wouldn’t be as worried. I mean you apparently got results during ST2 and didn’t need a year

#477

I’ve been using subclub for 4 years. 2 cycles of Khan ST1. Emperor HOM for 2 years. Ascended Mogul for another year. Not to mention some healing. I’d built a foundation. I struggled with my business for two years before I got 10 years worth of results. I can promise you the results are not linear. But just because you don’t see steady progress doesn’t mean you’re not right around the corner from an exponential leap in results.

I built my foundation. Now It’s your turn.

And I didn’t say no girl action until 2026. I said in 2026 you’ll be able to be a hyper-responder to subs.

Keep running Khan ST2, and focus on the rest of your life as well. A wealth sub would probably be more effective than SSX.

You ultimately need to come to accept long term thinking. Short term thinking is disgusting, girls can see how you’re using them because you’re impatient, and you’re killing your results by demanding them to happen NOW because you want them to. 32, 33, there’s no difference. You’re just impatient and rushing.

Live a good life, be happy, and women will flock to you. Women are attracted to me even when I’m not there because of what I stand for. Khan and WB just helped me capitalize on what I’ve spent half a decade building, internally and externally.

3 Likes
#478
#479

Yes, that’s true, I have been impatient. Guess I’m just frustrated, maybe it’s mostly at myself for not taking enough action. Also, maybe I don’t want a girl or haram deep down, at least not right now. Like there’s a block and I’m not sure what it is. Maybe it’s because “having girl problems” is so central to my being at the moment, that part of me is afraid of it dying or whatever lol. Like I’ve been in a dry spell for so long it’s become part of my identity. In the past I have used that anger and frustration to propel me, make friends, work harder, etc. I’ve actually posted this here before, but yeah. And yeah maybe I’m afraid without that anger/frustration I’ll have little drive to live properly (go to the gym, work hard, etc.) or lose some charm.

#480

You might want to try Emperor to hit everything at once. It’s a little more internally focused than Khan’s external focus, IMHO. Khan is very much about doing conquest. Emperor is about becoming an Emperor. And it balances sex/wealth/deive/satisfaction very well. Attraction on it is very high. It’ll even be more effective now that you’ve ran Khan.

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#481

You mean end ST2, washout, then Emperor? What about Ascension? Too basic for me at this point?

#482

Immediately add Emperor. Immediately drop SSX. Keep Khan ST2. Finish off your cycle.

Might be hard for a few weeks, go slow on whichever sub (ST2/Emp) is giving you the recon. Combining them will be helpful. If you can do both for longer, do it.

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#483

I like the idea, Emperor has sounded interesting to me in the last month or two. Any thoughts on RICH?

#484

RICH = Bad for you

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#485

Day 8 rest

Thoughts: Last night was good and cool and felt good to be just normal and social (after last night I realize it’s been too long). I haven’t been hanging out with people nearly as much as I used to starting in 2020 not only because of the “pandemic” but also because I stopped drinking in Dececmber 2019. During my early-mid 20s I was drinking almost every time I hung out with friends, so I became used to it. Stopping alcohol + “pandemic” = being social more difficult. I no longer have a crutch or a shield of drunkeness to hide myself.

Come to think of it, I don’t organize my life in such a way as to make it easy to meet/attract women…
Therefore, how can I organize/plan my life in such a way as to meet/attract women?..

Edit: I may have said this here before but one of my big blocks to just going and hooking up with women (and getting turned down a lot in the process of course) is this feeling of “I don’t want to let my bros down or make any guy around us feel bitter/jealous”, and that is a HUGE fucking reason I NEVER quite had the sex life I wanted. Well, I guess when I was drinking I sort of did because it was easier because I kind of compartmentalized it into “I was drunk” and that made it more endearing to me in a way. Being sober and having inhibitions, yeah I’m afraid my actions might cause a guy in the vicinity to feel jealous/bitter/sad/lonely/envious etc. because I’VE felt that way and I don’t want to be the reason another guy feels that way, so I’ve actually gone out of my way, out of consideration, to turn down the flirting and “game” when other people are around, and while that makes me feel a bit good and noble, it also keeps me frustrated and lonely and seeing other guys doing what I want to do (making out, having gf’s etc).Those guys aren’t toning down their game, they’re not feeling bad for the guys around them, so why should I? Anyway, maybe I should just go scorched earth and not give af about the guys/people around me and just go for the girls I’m interested in, no holds barred. Just be bold, I have nothing to lose really. I’m not a politician or celebrity where every little thing I do ends up on the news/in a magazine.

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#486

Day 9

3 min Khan ST2, 1 min New Emperor. Why not.

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#487

Day 10 rest

Thought: beliefs are basically affirmations that run your life.

Also, I kinda feel guilt/FOMO for not doing what everyone here says, which is basically “start with Ascension, then Emperor, then Wanted/Khan” etc., I basically went backwards. Should’ve started with the foundation. Then again, hopefully it doesn’t matter that much and can be just as effective going backwards.

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#488

Day 11

K ST2 4 min, Emperor 2:30 min.

Edit: woke up early today without trying. Couldn’t go back to sleep.

Note: need to remember to stay fed.

#489

nobody really starts with ascension anymore. That was very 2021.

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#490

The old reason for it is because subs used to be built like russian matroshka dolls.

image

Ascension was in ascended mogul. Ascended Mogul in Emperor. Emperor in Khan. So people recommended running those before Khan, and then adding Primal or Wanted before Khan too because that does focus on sexual belief-healing a lot more than Emperor would.

EDIT: and so th argument was that you “prep” for Emperor by running ascended mogul, “prep” for Khan by running Emperor. But that only applied back when subs used more brute force and when recon was worse and when they were nested titles. Now, they’re all different, and if you want to “prep” to run Emperor, you just run 30-60s of Emperor until you’ve built a foundation, etc.

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#491

Day 13

ST2 4 min, Emperor 3 min.

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#492

Day 14 rest

Eh today sucks so far, no results really.

Edit: Thinking about it, I pretty much sincerely believe that almost any guy (unless he’s literally a crazy homeless person or smells terrible etc.) can get girls (even hot girls), the key is confidence.

What is confidence? It’s 100%, without hesitation, owning everything you do, and having no reservations about it (while still remaining respectful of course). If done in the right way, I can see old guys with gray hair getting girls. It’s like a very “forward” energy, no pulling back. The key is that the guy has to sincerely, truly, from the heart want it and go for it even with the potential dangers. And btw maybe this applies to anything, not just girls. It could be for getting up and getting a cup of coffee.