There is so much resentment, anger and feeling of injustice in me regards being seen…
I want it to be my turn finally. I wanna be recognized. I wanna be attractig people. I wanna see fruits of all the work i did.
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Starting to realize that i have a lot of fear to lose contact with my inner world and not feel when someone oversteps my boundaries.
I feel so much in my body…even as i type this, i feel all my intestinals…
My psychiatrist told me that most people live in outside reality…i live in inside reality…
Not sure if i want to change this…but it eould be nice to have the choice…
Normally i only get into outside reality when i take drugs.
I would like to get there without drugs.
I am looking forward to get back home.
I am looking forward to my hot bathtub.
I am looking forward to a cold shower.
I am looking forward to rapé.
I am looking forward to starting to go to yoga again.
I am looking forward to now putting my focus on getting my body healthy.
I again fell into the trap of trying to find a new career or profession…Right now its all about becoming healthy again…and then i can care about working. But i dont have to work. I have enough money. I want to let go of that pressure of finding a new job. It is really deep inside of me. I want to let go of seeking that purpose.
I wanna do yoga, journal, go to the gym, go for walks, eat what i love and spend time with friends. Bonus points if i start to play guitar again.
The new things that i want to integrate into my life to reduce my needs for drugs and medication is vagus nerve stimulation and neurofeedback.
And maybe i will go back to cryotherapy aswell.
This reddit post did hit me deep:
-
Create small windows throughout the day when you are able to stay present with what is arising. Even 5 minutes two e a day is a good start.
-
In those moments, practice acceptance. Notice what you feel or think. Realise that it is simply a thought or feeling. Accept it for what it is, thank it for showing you your inner dialogue.
Try and stay present with it, without entering any mental loops.
- Whenever you touch on something uncomfortable, try not to run away from it. Stay present as described before.
If you find yourself getting drawn into that dark space, make zypur awareness more spacious. Think about how small this experience is on the whole of your universe. Or how short this few minutes are compared to the years of living ahead of you.
Physically imagine looking down from another planet or even better, go and take a walk in nature.
-
Write it down. Note your mental themes and spirals. Perhaps DK some reflection on them or bring a feeling of kindness to what you have written down.
-
Talk to people. Whether it is a therapist or a friend. Talk about what is happening inside. Feel free to tell people if you wish to be heard or if you are looking for a constructive feedback.
-
Make yourself proud. Be clear on your values and lead a life where you feel comfortable.
For this purpose you could think about doing one good deed every day. Perhaps start a volunteering role.
- Actually don’t worry about Meditation untill you feel ‘OK’ with yourself. Its better to practice presence, acceptance and kindness with yourself.
Going back on that, perhaps some Metta practice could be helpful.
- Create a structure in your life that makes you feel cared for. Care for yourself however you can.
When you act like you appreciate your being, you will feel more confident and negative self talk will lessen.
- Don’t worry about self love. Aim for being OK.
Learn to be okay with not being okay. Not in a way of complacency, rather with an attitude of acceptance.
- Look for inspiration to keep you moving forward.
Whether it is something you really wish to achieve, a subject of passion or perhaps a change you wish to make in other people’s life.
Create a beautiful image of the future and head towards it. One step at a time.
…
I hope these points will serve you well.
I will be adding some reflective/inspirational writings on my page or community, so please do follow of you find any of this helpful.
Have a good journey!
Especially 7, 8 and 9 hit hard.
I try to use yoga and meditation to become different…to become ok…to become healthy…thats the wrong approach…its better to to these things to leanr about my inner life with curiosity.
Also to take care of myself…
While in some cases i do take a lot of care for myself…i give myself at the same time the bare minimum it feels like. Rarely i treat myself well…like really well…give myself some luxury. Like in childhood when i only got the schooling items from the discounter and not the branded items like most other kids.
Yeah I spend a lot of money…but most of this money is actual “medical” in nature…theraphy etc…or development…i dont spent much just for me for a treat for myself.
One thing i want to treat myself with is a new custom. Not totally sure yet…but on the other hand I will allow myself to bot make it perfect.
Right now i am lidtening to sanguine the elixier and the art of happiness…
I really liked the alchemist and would like to explore it more. And i also really liked minds eye.
I definitely want to have one status/alpha/seduction titel in my stack. maybe ill try godlike masculinity. Or WB again. EmpD made me a bit of an to old man. It made me a bit to serious in hindsight. Not enough fun.
This need to be a bit more independent for my emotional regulation and therefore needing or wanting some better medication is definitely something i havent listened to yet. I was in a calibration process and tried to give up that need of independence…now i come back… beautiful to understand that this is a calibration process and to give myself the space for that.
Im this course i am learning that a good intention (or goal) needs to have resonance in the sex, heart and mind. Only when all those parts say yes to it, it is worth suffering for…i wanna take this approach into the design of my stack…
So what are the goal of my life when i come home:
Get better physically, so i have more energy and can go out more to connect with people.
Start onlinedating (and i allready made a appointment for speed dating)
Study how my body works more and more. Get deeper into my process. Yoga helps with this…as does meditation. Yoga most likely is the best thing for me to statt working out with. As with it i can really take care of my nervous system that got fucked up by covid. And there is a big longing to go back to the yoga studio…during khan in may is stoped going to yoga…because it made me to peaceful. Its time to start with that again. Its good for my health and mental wellbeing.
Regarding food…i am geting vegan food here…dont feel like its helping me to be more sensitive for energies or something like that.
Else i am goi g to continue to study human design…in my tempo.
Regarding substances…i could help out at ayahuasca in February…i am not sure yet what to to…one part of me whants to do it…and another says no, as with the woman who organizes it, quite a lot of people have problems…and i dont want to have any reaponsibility…as assistant though, i dot really carry that responsibility…and it would be a place where i could live out my creative side and be recognized.
Listened to alchemist today. I definitely love it. Looking for a second core for custom now…maybe no second core…just my personalized alchemist.
Love the new modules that came out…
There are some very interesting ones.
Breaking the pattern
Evolving Ifentity
flowing freely
Illusions of the mind (would be good to learn this)
Lovong truth (good)
Feedback loop (this looks extra good)
So last some days where intense…
I really see more and more how i used to live in a story. And i disidentify more and more from it.
It is scary…because all falls away when i do this. All plans, all goals, everything that gives me security…and when i am in this scary place, i remember what my therapist said: i need some sort of structure as this gives me safety. I am not there (yet) where live can be everchanging and evolving.
I am afraid of having a big chrash when i come home. No more community, no more structure from the outside.
I really want to make a difference this time. I want to make a change.
So i gotta make a plan.
The upmost important goal in my lofe is getting my physical health in order. This will make my mental health better.
For that, i really need to get to do sports. Yoga, gym, sandsack in my basement, supernatural VR, goig for walks…gym or yoga classes would be the best as i have other people around then.
Other than that, i will help my body with vagus nerve stimulation and neurofeedback.
A big topic of thinking for me is my relationship with substances…i feel the rapé is not good for me in the long term…but the other stuff is very very helpful and it would be dumb to say, thats an addiction…the line between self medication and addiction is very thin, but i feel like i am on the side of self medication…but not with rapé. This starts to get on the side of addiction.
And then there is the question about how much I want to invest into my shamanic “career”…if i want to continue to help out at retreats…there would be one in september…i feel a yes with this…but i want to see it more as a term of volunteering and service…karma yoga…
I have to be very very careful with cheap dopamine when i come back. Cheap dopamine is the crux of all…and for that i have to be very careful with recon.
There is still the topic that my life feels increadible hard. That everything needs so much effort…that k feel like i am driving a car with both the gas and break being pressed. Need to talk to my doctor regarding this.
Holy shit…chat cpt is a magican!
Feeling like your life is a car with both the gas and brake being pressed is a powerful metaphor for being stuck in a state of internal conflict or tension. It suggests that you’re simultaneously trying to move forward while holding yourself back, leading to frustration, burnout, or a sense of being stuck. Here’s what this could mean:
- Competing Goals or Priorities
You may have conflicting desires or responsibilities that pull you in opposite directions.
Gas: Your ambition, desire for progress, or need to achieve something.
Brake: Fear of failure, self-doubt, or external obligations holding you back.
Example: You want to pursue a new career path but fear financial instability or disappointing others.
- Overthinking or Perfectionism
Overanalyzing every step can paralyze you.
Gas: Your desire to take action and move forward.
Brake: The need for everything to be perfect or for absolute certainty before acting.
Example: You want to start a project, but you delay it because you feel you’re not “ready” yet.
- Emotional Conflict
You might be experiencing mixed emotions about a decision or situation.
Gas: Excitement, hope, or passion driving you forward.
Brake: Anxiety, fear, or unresolved feelings slowing you down.
Example: You’re excited about a new relationship but hesitant because of past heartbreak.
- Burnout or Overcommitment
Trying to do too much without taking care of yourself can feel like you’re pressing both pedals.
Gas: You’re pushing yourself hard to meet expectations or achieve goals.
Brake: Your body or mind is signaling exhaustion or overwhelm, making it hard to keep going.
Example: You’re working long hours and trying to maintain a social life, but you’re physically and emotionally drained.
- Fear of Change
Change can be both thrilling and terrifying.
Gas: A desire for growth or something new.
Brake: Fear of leaving your comfort zone or facing the unknown.
Example: You’re ready to move to a new city for opportunities but afraid of starting over.
What Can You Do?
To address this, consider:
-
Identify the Gas and Brake: What’s driving you forward, and what’s holding you back? Write them down to clarify the conflict.
-
Reflect on Your Fears: Are the “brakes” based on real barriers, or are they fears you can work through?
-
Take Small Steps: Even small actions toward your goals can ease the tension and build momentum.
-
Seek Support: Talk to a trusted friend, mentor, or therapist to gain perspective and guidance.
-
Balance Effort and Rest: Ensure you’re not pushing yourself so hard that you’re wearing yourself out.
This metaphor reflects an internal struggle that many people face, but by addressing it, you can find a way to release the brake and move forward with clarity and purpose.
I feel frustrated today. I dont really know why. Maybe its hecause the course is not what i thought it would be. On the one hand its very helpful…but on the other hand its not going as far as I would have wanted it to be. I know allready half of the stuff.
Though…it is quite helpful to have now the words to describe what i am experiencing.
After that feeling of ego death and who i am that i had for the last weeks…i am emerging from the darkness…i am alowling finding my core values. Those are the fou dation of building a new persona…and as a lady told me today are important to know to attract fitting people.
Also i am starting to see why i am aftaid of commot to anything…the last time i commited to something fully…to loving something fully…my heart got broken…with m, ex wife…with that hare krishna guru, with my other tantric teacher…
But in the end it was worth it. It was worth the heartbreak.
I have been trying to seek 100% security in my choices…that doesnt exist…or that only rxists in death…but life is inherently risky…
And i am gonna take that risk…with courage…to follow what i love.
Some people have reported nicotine patches and NAC helping them after covid.
You could check out Bryan Ardis.
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So back home…after 5 weeks of thailand.
I am a bit afraid, of a crash incoming…but actually I am looking forward to this time…I want to reevaluate my life. See what serves me and what doesnt.
I definitely want to journal again more.
To see what changes happened in me…
It feels like the biggest changes happened in my last 4 days in thailand…afer our training, my friend and I planned to just chill on koh samui…but on the second day…i didnt just want to chill…I wanted to challange myself again, talk to women etc.
Approached 2 german talking woman on the beach and had a nice talk…
After that I saw the patterns that my best friend and I share…that we both dont go out of our cmfort zone and that we amplify each other in out laziness…and in repressing our aliveness…
After that talk we decided to get some weed edibles…we both quit a year ago.
On this first trip I had a deep realization about my anxiety…
And on the next day…my friend was sick and I felt like I cant just sit around here for 4 days…I need to go to Ko Phangang…
What followed was a 72 hour trip to ko phangang, where I allowed myself to indulge…to say yes to anything I wanted…3 days of weed, cigarettes and just going with the flow of live…let synchronicity happen and let myself be guided by live.
I had no clue what to do on Ko phangan…but it was a magical journey (maybe amplified by the weed)…that ended at a Psytrance event with a beautiful medicince journey.I was deeply afraid how this will end…with the smoking and weed…but after this magical night at the psytrance event with mushrooms and MDMA…I woke up and knew: now its time to quit the weed and cigarettes again.
It was interesting to see how I immidiatley go back into daily use. But I am very proud that I coudl stop again.
Lets see how my relationship with cannabis goes in the future.
That MDMA trip showed me a lot about myself. I realized how I see myself as “lower” than everyone around me…and it showed me that I can feel safe in my body. 72 hours later, that feeling is still here.
I am not sure yet when Ill start with subs again.
Thanks again.
Yes, nicotine helps a ton. I prefer the nicotine snuff though.
Woke up quite refreshed today.
Had energy for around an hour then I experienced an energy drop and tiredness setting in…
It feels like I am in waiting mode again. Waiting for something exciting to happen. Very interesting as I am looking into ADHD understimulation again.
So I am sitting here, meditated a bit…
And this sense of ego death and void is approaching me again.
I lookeed thorugh my mails and saw a mail from my yogacenter that I had been part of for 2 years…and they offering some courses…
And I thought: How senseless is knowledge that isnt transformes to wisdom? Knowledge that isnt integrated in life? How stupid it is to learn things and know things but not integrate them into your life?
I feel like I reached a point in my life of choice. I have experieneced more than enough. I have made enough vacations in various different philosophies. It time to take a stand for my own view of the world.
My life here in my homecountry seems to meaningless. There is nothing to really look forward for. There is nothing that really makes me alive.
There is nothing that really starts my fire.
All those things that I planned for myself…Seem so liveless and more a way of coping rather than creating a life that I want to have.
Very Angry today. Life here is austria feels like slow death. It feels like surviving rather than thriving.
WHen I ask myself what do I want…the thing that comes again and again is going to the jungle to study ayahuasca
As I said, I wanna treat myself with a custom…
First I need to decinde what subs I actually wanna run now for a time…
So what subs come to my mind…and why I like them
-) Alchemist St.4 I love this sub, I love to dive deeper in feeling energy and understand the deeper mechanism of the universe, Also the emotional transmutation scripting is amazing
-) Alchemist: Singularity Understanding the paradox of life and polarity and duality has been a really healing thing for me…I feel this is very needed to bring peace to my inner conflicts and to set free a ton of energy
-) Minds eye, Id like to take more control over my life and steer it better…aka Manifestation
-) The Art of joy and happiness, This seems to be more something that I “should” listen to…but its again my pattern of “learn to be happy what you have” to run away from taking action.
-) Godlike Masculinity I feel like I lack the drive to take action. GLM should be the most suitable Sub for that
-) Wanted Black/heartsong…There is still that dilema inside of me what I want…If I want a relationship or if I want to experience female abundance once in my life before…Right now, a proper relationship where we look into the future and buidl somethign isnt really on the menue…and I would really like to get in shape…so I guess wanted it is for now.
So how to build a stack with that?
What are my goals?
The big thing for me is…I am in my identity risis…I dont really have a goal…
Well thats not true…
-) I wanna get healthy again. For that I need to work out.
Check with Wanted black, and check with Godlike MAsculinity…Alchemist will help me to transmute emotions and regulate my nervous system.
-) I wanna explore myself and reality more indepth…I wanna know how my psyche and body works…Alchemist will help with that.
-) I wanna explore my sexuality…I guess there is no better sub than WB for that.
So it seems this is fixed:
Custom with
-) Alchemist St.4
-) Alchemist: Singularity
-) Minds Eye (not totally sure)
Godlike Masculinity
Wanted Black
What Modules to Add to my custom…Brainstorming with stuff that I like and that resonates with me…Maybe Ill do a second custom with GLM
Art of Trust: I need to make some big decisions soon…this could help a lot
Breaking the cycle: This seems to be a very very helpful module for me
Evolving Identity: I love it…but I am allready so good at this…I need to take more action
Flowing Freely: I like this aswell…but it also goes deep into the mental landscape…
Illusions of the mind: looks super powerful
living truth: I love it
The feedback loop: looks super powerful
From my older iterations:
Result Enhancement:
Synergy: Energetic Transcendence
Synergy: Divine Dominion
Deus/Omnidimensional? May be to much
Inner Game
Inner Voice
Synergy: Semper Praesens
Synergy: Harmonic Conflux
Gratitude Embodiment
Psyche Restoration
Tools
Mosaic
Pragya
Subconcious Flow
Synergy: Subconcious Mastery
Illusions of the Mind
In Case I Build a second custom:
Godlike Masculinity
The Art of Happiness and Joy ?
Synergy: Voice is the law
Synergy: Carpe Vitaem
Synergy: Iron Law/Synergy: Heaven Shaking Power
SPS: Nervous System
Breaking the cycle
The Boundary
Living Truth
Divine Self Image
Dopaminergic Revival
Mosaic
I have been silent for a while…doing a longer washout…and I am finding stability.
I dont knoe exactly what is causing this shift…multiple things are at play currently.
- I had an amazing holiday in an amazing country with good food, an amazing transformative container that brought me what it seems the missing pieces regarding Emtional Transmutation
- I had an amazing journey to Ko Phangan where I was guided by spirit
- I am not doing any sublinals that cause extra transformation
- I found more out about my health and got some nice anti inflammatory medication
- I started going to the gym…also solarium seems to be doing me good
- I started with neurofeedback yesterday which seems to be a game changer
Interestingly enough, the cosmic weather, aka astrology now also shows a time of positive change and release of constrictions.
I encountered a pattern that I dont use this journal when I am good. MoreIn the past I have been using this journal mainly to process emotions…in a vomit it all out style…
I want to come more to the essence.
So the essence is:
Its the first time in nearly 3 years that I feel healthy again both bodily and mentally
And it feels like all my work over the last 2 years is starting to integrate.
I am proud of my growth 
I want to continue my life like this…letting myself be carried by the cosmic currents.
Right now I am not sure if I will ever start with subliminals again.
They had their place in my journey. But right now I feel so connected to spirit that I dont really need the extra help of subs.
I want to see how the seeds I planted in the last years flower…and get some rest…
So, to break my pattern and make some new habbits, another posts when I am doing good.
Last days were a bit rough, a bit fatigued…but I have been doing a lot…and I realized that I am basically skipping weekends…
I didnt give myself time of…as I am missing the structure of a work life. I wanna Do 1 lazy day a week from now.
A lot is changing in my life…it feels as if I have found a goal and a vision of what I wanna do in my life…and I start to see that this is super helpful to decide on the things that I want to do or engage with.
Yesterday I was at the shaman again for plant medicine…
It was an interesting experience…I start to see: I dont want to be a shaman anymore…
Something has changed in this month in thailand.
Part of this shamanic work was driven by a (little mad) search for magic…I wanted to go to the jungle to experienece real magic…but the medicine yesterday (even before I drank it) showed me the magic that is all around me…I had an astrology reading last week…it was crazy…this woman told me what I learned in 4 years of therapy…and much more…just by looking at my birthtime. My best friend is a crazy energy healer that can make people pass out in bliss… and things like energy, entitys and gods/archetypal energys are something I work with every day.
I started using spells…aka Mantras…to change my mood and to alter my energetic vibration…
So I am allready living in a life filled with magic
Something I am encountering in the last days…some sort of “spirit” is starting to come into my life…something that guides me when I follow my highest excitement…spirit is the only word that I can use for it…maybe because I listened to 2 mins of Revelation of spirit around new year…and this comes now…
What I start to see is that things come to my life through inspiration that I wanted to put into my customs that I planned…I think @Invictus talked about this…presults from customs that he didnt even build…jsut layed out…it feels the same is happening for me, as I am in a very centered state. I havened listen to subs now for nearly 4 weeks…but it feels like they are still working.
Some days ago I was at speeddating…I had a lot of resistance that came in the form of tiredness…but I went through the resistance…and had a fun evening…I could try out a new persona. I went there with the only goal to observer myself…
Sadly didnt get any yes, which did hurt my ego a bit…but there was no woman who was actually interesting to me…as a whole being (and not just hot)…so its okay.
I felt like the Wanted script merged with alchemist and I was this spiritual, easy guy with playful energy, bringing the talks to a deep level fast…
Thats definitley a big step into the right direction, I am taking action and I found a new place to get to know myself.
Getting to the gym every some days, on the other days I just go for walks. Need to be careful not to crash…but I am making big progress all in all…massive
On the other hand I am allowing myself to indulge a bit more in regards to food right now…eating a bit unhealthy…but still okay.
Over and out.
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So a lot is coming together in my life.
I have great plans for my life…i am gonna go to bali in a month for two. Alone this time.
Experience myself. Go for diving. And meet people there. At the end of my two month stay I am gonna be at a transfomational container again…
After Bali I am gonna be at home for 2-3 weeks and go for a 6 week mystery school to dive deeper into the mysteries of life.
Sunday was a bit rough. I went into anime bingind and stayed up to long. But on the next day I used the positive rubber band effect…I didnt want my life to go down that route again…went for gym, tied up my home and did a lot of productive stuff.
Today I started to plan my travel…I dont want to plan everything…I want to leave room for spontanity…but Ill plan the first week or so. Gonna go for diving. I used to love it. I used to love the marine life. I had a marine aquarium some years ago…i even jobbed at a store for marine lifestock. I knew all the corals and fish by name, what they need, how they feed etc.
I feel it will be awesome to reconnect with that part of me.
Glad my health is getting better and better.
I am proud of myself.
I am proud that I am not pushing myself down to hard for contracting a bit after comign home from that journey.
I feel that soon Ill be ready again to start with subliminals again.
Very curious on the majors with name embeds.
When I go to bali, I feel that sex&seduction will be something I am gonna run…
I am experiencing a bit of contraction in the last days. And thats okay.
It was funny…how I was making fun of a friend who is the same as me that he does amazing during travels and during retreats and during living here he has issues…and he knows so many tools that he knows are good for him…and doesnt use them…
And I am the same…I know so many tools that help me…regulate my nervous system…but I am to proud to say okay…I need that help again
But realizing that…I took action. Went to cryotheraphy today again. Helped a ton. Lateley I also have found solarium to be a great resource. Just 5 minutes in the ligth really relax me.
Today I booked those retreats. So 2 more journeys…one more months at home and then nearly 4 months of traveling and adventure. I am proud of myself. For taking this couragous action…for going for what I want…and also investing. Money, time and my life.
There is a part in me that really wants to just binge anime or youtube…I am trying to find out what need is there…to find out how I can nourish that part in a more healthy way…
The first thing that comes up is that I want cheap dopamine…I want to have fun without investing anything…no physical energy.
ChatGPT Magic again
This is a really insightful question! Your “inner part” that loves to lounge in front of the TV is likely trying to fulfill certain needs. The issue arises when you find it difficult to stop. Let’s work together to identify which needs are behind this behavior and how you might meet them differently or more consciously.
1. What Needs Might Be Behind Your Behavior?
Rest & Relaxation
Why? Your brain craves a break from responsibilities, stress, or mental effort.
Alternative Ways to Fulfill This Need:
- Short, intentional rest breaks instead of endless binge-watching (e.g., 15 minutes of closing your eyes, breathing exercises).
- Relaxing activities like taking a walk, a bath, or listening to music.
- Setting a timer for TV sessions (e.g., consciously enjoying one episode and then switching to another activity).
Escapism & Avoiding Uncomfortable Emotions
Why? TV provides an easy escape from boredom, stress, self-doubt, or difficult emotions.
Alternative Approaches:
- Identify the need: What exactly am I trying to avoid?
- Active coping instead of distraction: Writing, talking, or exercising might help more than TV.
- Choosing inspiring content consciously: Instead of mindlessly watching, select something that truly enriches you (e.g., documentaries, educational programs).
Stimulation & Entertainment
Why? Your brain enjoys stories, emotions, and visual stimulation—TV delivers all of that intensely.
Alternative Approaches:
- Choose more active entertainment: Instead of passive consumption, try gaming, podcasts, or audiobooks.
- Add social interaction: Watch with others and have a discussion afterward.
- Be creative yourself: Instead of just consuming stories, try writing, drawing, or making music.
Habit & Reward System
Why? Your brain has gotten used to the instant dopamine release from watching TV.
Alternative Approaches:
- Change the routine consciously: Watch TV only at certain times and pair it with other activities.
- Reward yourself differently: Maybe enjoy TV after doing something fulfilling rather than as the first option.
- Introduce screen-free rituals: For example, drinking tea and reading at night instead of automatically starting Netflix.
2. How Can You Build a Healthier Relationship With TV?
1. Make a Conscious Choice Instead of Watching on Autopilot:
Before turning on the TV, ask yourself: “Why do I want to watch right now?” Am I tired, bored, or stressed?
2. Set Clear Limits:
Use a timer or watch just one episode intentionally, then actively move on.
3. Combine TV Time With Something Active:
Maybe light movement (stretching, yoga) or taking notes if you’re watching something inspiring.
4. Find Alternative Rewards:
If TV is your go-to relaxation method, try other ways to unwind (music, walking, meditation).
5. Experiment With “Screen-Free” Days or Zones:
For example, one evening per week without TV, replaced with a creative or social activity.
3. Conclusion: Use Your TV Habits as a Signal!
Your desire to “lounge & be entertained” isn’t a problem in itself—it’s a signal of an underlying need. Once you identify which need is being fulfilled, you can determine whether TV is the best solution or if there’s a more sustainable alternative.
Question for you:
Which of these needs do you think is the strongest reason behind your TV habits? 
Wow…this was crazily helpful…
I feel stressed. I feel tired…but at the same time I feel a mix of sadness and anxiety.
I am making big changes in my life. I am choosing a path. I am really choosing the spiritual life right now. I am making big steps.
I am thinking about moving to a home thats “lighter”. No garden, less space…less things to care for. A lighter life.
Going on a big journey alone makes me a bit anxious. It trigges quite some fears…old believes that I know arent true…
What if I dont make any friends?
What if I dont meet people that I can connect and chat with?
What if I get super depressed there and dont have plant medicines to help me with that?
I feel a part that needs some safety on that journey…but I know…I will have my rapé with me…I could get cigarettes…I have my phone to watch youtube to regulate. I can use some binaural beats or music to regulate.
It feels super redeeming to write that out.
Writing this amazing post showed me a lot: