@Azriel i haven’t had time to fully digest what you said but it gave me a lot to think about
This whole conversation has been really beautiful thank you to everybody who is contributing to this, I’m really appreciating your guys’s insight.
I’m reminded of a comment that I made very early on in this thread that I would never be able to fully express the KHAN objectives until I ran ecstasy of gold
That was the first sign that what I really needed was emperor.
A massive masculinity boost, but with more focussed on wealth than sexuality, but we still developing both sides
Really it’s emperor that will help me unlock all of the KHAN objective… emperor, and the executive
The combination of the two is driving deep change in me
Emperor is like a condensed version of KHAN and ecstasy of gold rolled into one
And the executive is doing an incredible job of healing not just the ADHD, and it’s literally healing the ADHD…
But it’s also healing a lot of the shame that surrounds my life regarding ADHD
I know it’s healing shame because I’m more consciously feeling shame
Today I was catching up on tasks that I previously procrastinated on, and even as I was completing the task, a lot of shame was coming up for the fact that I was in catch up mode instead of ahead…
The first step to healing an emotion is feeling an emotion. Even though it’s not pleasant.
ADHD related stuff is at the root of a lot of the issues that I experienced both financially and sexually. I can be the most attractive person in the world, but going on a third date and getting lost, we’re getting my wallet, being stressed out from a day of procrastinating, and being unable to be present… those are seriously unattractive traits
I’m not proud enough of my ADHD and how that affects my work to be totally honest about it, so I’m sacrificing connection
So yeah… Emperor and the executive are definitely the foundation that I need in order to be able to run KHAN and the ecstasy of gold and fully express all of those objectives