Yeah I keep wondering if its the ZP wisdom or recon. Imma wait this cycle and washout and then I’ll judge.
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On my 3rd day of washout I can say adding GLM at some point would be benefitial, but theres no urge to add it anymore.
I was feeling afraid, there was a lot of emotional digging and movement and thought it could help.
Finally I ended up doing what I was afraid of anyway, with total chill and learned a valuable lesson.
If you are gonna run a healing stack, dont be surprised if you suddenly feel overwhelmed by fear and self doubt
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Chapter III
Day#1
Stack:
•EOG st1
•LBFH
I just listened 9 minutes of EOG and a full loop of LBFH… I will decide for a 3rd title before saturday and add it to my stack.
Last night I had a very vivid dream that my grand father had died (he is 93) and I woke up pretty sad, then fell asleep againg and I had a dream about him again, he was sitting in his bed very tired and working in what has been his whole life job, I gave him a big hug, told him that I love him and that its ok to rest now… by rest I meant dying and he knew it… he fell asleep and I woke up very sad, but with closure.
Its pretty early in the morning and theres no news about my grandpa, still I have the feeling he might die soon.
Of course the dream could also be a metaphor.
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Oh man… I missed LBFH!! Im already feeling very warm and loving.
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This morning I felt like I was at the bottom of a pit of pure negativity… Hating everything that has to do with work.
I felt so much anger and resistance to do the work that would secure me a steady flow of work and income.
I felt I was at the bottom of this pit with a sword in my hand fighting anyone who dared to try and help me out of it.
The anger is very similar to what I felt the last time I tried running Emperor at the beginning of the year, run it for a whole cycle and I was in constant anger. This time it was a burst of anger and lasted for some 15 minutes.
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Definitely going through the dark night of the soul… Fear, anger, sadness, depression… a total lack of will to move, I just wanna lay in bed and let life pass me by.
I dont want to worry anyone reading this, I know Im gonna find the strength to sort things out.
Also this is not because of the subs, this has lived inside me for decades… theres a reason why I always avoided money/responsibility related subs… Now EOG is finally helping me see it face to face.
We dont have enough money with my girlfriend and we are making way less than what we need, the clock is ticking, we are running out of savings.
She is always worried and scared about it and I feel useless. We are arguing a lot and we are both stressed.
Its the #1 issue right now.
The thing is the more I stress and get scared, the less I seem to move my ass and take any sort of action.
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Im so naive, I thought that without DR and adding LBFH things would be easier, but noooooo, now its laser focused in to exactly what pains me the most.
I take that back… Ive been in constant anger easily triggered by any fucking thing, the only exception to being angry is when Im in a very dark state of sadness and hopelessness.
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Well, something shifted at about lunch time… Im feeling way better.
Lets see where this ride takes me.
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I ended up deciding for True Sell as the 3rd title, my stack was a bit too much inwardly focused and it needed some balance. True Sell will give it a more outwards, expansive feel.
Today:
LBFH × 5 minutes
True Sell × 5 minutes.
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This is funny… Im feeling very playful and got a nudge to re read my journal.
Now I know why.
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Day#5
EOG st1 × 7 minutes
LBFH × 6 minutes
True Sell × 3 minutes
Im really hyped! Both by the addition of True Sell to my stack and by the fact that today and tomorrow I will be finishing and hypnosis certification, in which I’ll be teaching Dolores Cannon technique to talk directly with the Higher Self in a deep trance.
Lets see what cool things happens!!
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What do you think about taking a 2 week break from DR?
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I stopped DR for this cycle… Are you suggesting for me to go back at it at a later time?
No. Only if you want to. DR can be a tough ride. When you consult your inner awesomeness, what answer do you come up with for what to do about DR?
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Inner Awesomeness… I loved that 
The answer is no DR until further notice.
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Day#7
True Sell v2 × 6 minutes
LBFH v2 × 6 minutes
EOG st1 v2 × 3 minutes
True Sell v2 got released last night so now my stack is fully v2. Lets see how this baby performs.
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Im on my 2nd cycle of EOG st1 and today for the first time Im feeling its effects in a more obvious way.
I feel its working in the back of my mind and that something is “slowly” changing just below my conscious awareness.
Of course I say slowly comparing to my results expectations… but reality and expectations are 2 different things.
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What I feel is a sense of allowance, letting myself have ideas and letting those ideas grow through the layers of fear into the light. Akin of a plant growing through the cracks in a sidewalk.
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After little more than a week since I reintroduced LBFH, I still cant wrap my mind around the fact that LBFH makes me hornier than any of the sex subs… 
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Also for some mysterious reason I keep referring to LBFH in my head as Love Bomb for Honesty. Which in a way makes perfect sense.
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