Started Stage 2
Haven’t noticed effects. I don’t understand the differences between DRR’s stages as clearly as compared to KB or QL.
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Well this was interesting:
Type: Projector
Strategy: Wait for the Invitation (hah)
Inner Authority: Emotional - Solar Plexus
Definition: Split Definition
Profile: 5/1
Incarnation: Left Angle Cross of Migration (37/40 | 5/35)
Signature: Success
Not-Self Theme: Bitterness (HAH)
Digestion: Direct (oh)
Design Sense: Smell (huh)
Motivation: Guilt (hm true)
Perspective: Survival (paranoia intensifies)
Environment: Valleys
Projectors represent around 20% of the population in Human Design. Unlike Manifestors, Generators, and Manifesting Generators, Projectors don’t have defined Sacral Centers, which means they don’t have a consistent internal energy source for work and action. This fundamental difference significantly shapes the Projector’s life experience.
Checks out
Projectors are known for their deep wisdom and their ability to guide and direct others. They have a unique ability to see and understand others in a way that can bring clarity and insight. This can make them excellent advisors, coaches, or consultants. Their aura is focused and absorbing, allowing them to penetrate deeply into the other’s energy.
Doesn’t check out
While Generators are designed to respond and Manifestors to initiate, Projectors are here to wait for invitations and recognition. This is not about passivity but about aligning themselves with the correct opportunities and people who value their insights and guidance.
Waiting for the bridges I bought
As a Projector, understanding and accepting this waiting strategy can be challenging, especially in a world that values constant doing and initiating. However, when they honor their design, they can find themselves in the right places, with the right people, contributing their wisdom and making a real difference.
Am I not supposed to take action after all
For Projectors, seeking recognition from the outside can lead to frustration and bitterness. Instead, it’s about recognizing their value and worth, trusting their strategy, and allowing the right recognition to come to them.
First sentence checks out, second idkh
Being a Projector in a world that values constant doing and initiating can come with its challenges. Projectors may often feel pressure to do more, to keep up with the Generators and Manifesting Generators around them, or to initiate rather than wait for the invitation.
Checks out
As a 5/1 Projector, your 5th line represents your ability to universalize experiences or concepts. This means that you have a knack for making complex ideas relatable and understandable to a broad audience. You are often seen as someone who can shed light on problems or situations, offering solutions that cater to the needs of the collective.
Uh kinda but kinda not
On the other hand, the 1st line in your profile speaks to your innate investigative nature. You are inclined to dive deep into topics of interest, examining and exploring them thoroughly before forming an opinion or perspective. This investigative tendency is particularly important as it forms the foundation from which your 5th line universalizes.
Depends on the subject
A key characteristic of a 5/1 Projector is the natural aura of attractiveness you exude. The 5th line profile is often referred to as the “Heretic,” and individuals with this line in their profile are frequently the focus of attention and projection. People are naturally drawn to you and may attribute certain qualities or expectations onto you, whether or not they align with your true nature.
I wish
This can be both an advantage and a challenge. On the one hand, it can open doors and create opportunities that might not be available to others. On the other hand, it can place you under pressure to live up to the expectations that others project onto you. Balancing this dynamic is an essential part of your journey as a 5/1 Projector.
Checks out
One of the challenges that many 5/1 Projectors face is finding a sense of belonging. Your 5th line’s tendency to attract projections can sometimes make you feel like an outsider or misunderstood.
Checks out
However, finding your “tribe” – a group of people who understand and appreciate you for who you truly are – can be a powerful and healing experience.
One here, one there, life blocking everywhere
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Added back Limitless for 3min and had a weird recon(?), the inside of my brain has been ‘itching’ the whole day, right hemisphere, now left. Feels similar to past minor healing sensations.
FUCK BROADCOM
Thanks to whoever archived VMWare Communities pages on 21 November 2023
Destabilized today.
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When I first learned about synesthesia years ago I thought about how ‘a’ is “red”, ‘i’ is “white”, ‘t’ is “yellow”… but I see the font colour as is, so figured it was overimagination.
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I also do see characters with different depths even though I know there isn’t. Like the two 'e’s in ‘even’ are behind with the second ‘e’ being further away.
Today was suddenly very bothered by the #2-ness of something I myself wrote on a whiteboard. I asked two people near me if they also saw depth differences and got "no"s.
Ended up finding this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Synesthesia/comments/5z36j8/letters_in_words_have_depth_is_this_synesthesia/
Fits my experience, but only found this one instance.
In addition, this line:
With number-color, you obviously can’t physically see the colors, but with this, it’s almost like an illusion where my brain applies depth perception to words.
Dug further and apparently #1 is “associative synesthesia”.
Not sure what to think.
This was ‘normal’ for as long as I can remember but now every character is screaming at me. Typing this was taxing. Also paranoid about having exposed this to two colleagues, I don’t know if I should even be posting this here.
Experienced social disappointments today and because of DRR1 the emotional impact was very muted, like it shortcuts to “that’s the kind of people they are” acceptance. Feels like the jadedness I experienced on Emperor but specifically around the heart. An “armour of contempt” for a lack of better description.
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Got some advice:
“Everyone and their psychiatrist gatekeeps what is neurodivergent, like (one psychiatrist) insists that AuDHD is nonsense, so worrying if you’re neurodivergent because you have or lack some trait is as meaningless as when you first worried if you were normal. Focus on the traits you have themselves.”
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Hm the past two days I practised drumming a lot and now RM:V came out.
I don’t have the space though, and 1-2 are the only ones I’m interested in, only if suitable for still-learning phase.
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Really bad day breaking through the newfound jadedness.
Like the universe went “Hold on HumanBean is getting better? Let’s go out of the way to manifest all his triggers at once.”
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Quite a curious two days.
Wednesday that was the previous post, felt like this:
Thursday I got up and robotically went to work, and then unexpectedly zoned in like I experienced with QL3 until compilation time.
The social disappointments continued but the ‘armour of contempt’ came back online. It helped that I looked at someone else’s script and immediately improved on it.
As I left the office in the evening it grew into an unhinged narcissism:
Which reminds me that before the DRR side-track the plan was to ASBR.
The narcissism continues today and it feels good so I’m just gonna enjoy it.
The socially acceptable thought on this mental shift is that perhaps most of my cognitive blockages are emotions from social games taking up bandwidth. It was reinforced when I talked to a former colleague about the toll this now-cesspool of a workplace has inflicted (he told me he left not over money but the same frustration). Perhaps it’s less that I need to upgrade my capabilities, but that I need to get rid of what’s holding them back.
Which reminds me of the ‘do I need Limitless?’ question from a few weeks ago.
This thought seems closer to the description of DRR3 instead of DRR2, but I’m only 1.5 weeks into DRR2 and was questioning if I should continue. Looking at the last few months I seem to have a few “presults/precon” experiences.
Today is National Day, so gonna take a break from subs over the long weekend.
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A pretty productive long weekend, held back by broken public repositories. Used to academic papers having broken source code, didn’t expect that from conference ones.
Got a good amount of practice for various other things.
Adding ASBR as third title.
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ASBR 3.30min:
- Dense, slept off a lot of it but till now can still feel my brain working.
- Decent focus in the morning.
- Having had a losing foosball streak, it continued today… then won against one of the better guys.
- Around 2-4 I crashed between the tediousness of getting offline dependencies and then waiting to compile.
- After that sharp again.
Like the positives so far, hopefully the denseness fades next listen.
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ASBR: The denseness is gone. There is a noticeable increase in productivity compared to Limitless. Noticed the reduction of inertia in doing things, very similar to experience with Emperor.
Got reckless and ordered a custom.
KB: I’ve not worn a jacket into office, and it was a rainy day on top of the air-conditioning, and I didn’t feel cold.
Haven’t run DRR2 this week and am not sure if I should continue, things that hit my triggers go out of their way to manifest but I’m not able to heal, just reinforcing.
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Had a whim to use some online tarot regarding my stack. “Give me a hint, subconscious, should I…”
“Run ASBR tonight”: II of Wands (ok)
“Continue DRR”: IV of Swords (wow ok)
“Continue KB”: The Magician (? the site I used explicitly mentioned “as above, so below”…)
“…Should I shiny-syndrome Alchemist”: The Hierophant (uh…)
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Woke up today with the same whim, interesting:
“Subconscious, should I revisit the OLD Love Bomb”: Ace of Cups
“What about the NEW Love Bomb”: V of Cups
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Do you have a regular playlist you stay with for 90+ days, or are you choosing several times a week based on Tarot cards?
I’ve been on KB/Heartsong through customs, but switch others every cycle. This tarot thing is just a whim the past few days, haven’t acted on it.
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It’s been a bad start to the week but feeling ASBR helping. Thanks @Jouissance for the recommendation.
Emperor was Panadol-lish, DRR was bitterness, ASBR seems to be ‘whatever’.
Custom came in, listening tonight.
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Feeling some narcissism self-esteem. But it indeed comes from devaluing people and removing them from pedestals.
I take people’s words as they are, but after writing down the list of words vs actions, and getting the percentages, I realise how cheap words are.
My percentage isn’t high, but it’s much higher, and seeing the numbers I feel superior more self-worth. I’ve been putting myself beneath the wrong people.
When I decided to start Emperor above^ the thought was to go back to being a lone wolf, but I never really managed to overcome the loneliness I suffered from the ostracism, social games and lies.
After writing it out it hit me “Look at the data, HumanBean. Do you really want such company? In this office, it’s better to be a lone wolf. You thought there were people like (outside friends) in here. Now you have the numbers.”
So for the moment, I’m able to feel some of my natural state before 2022 again.
Not wholly yet because there’s still a lot of heart-anger. And I still have want for attention.
Speaking of (positive) attention, this week people have been coming to me over a renewed interest in my technical niches.
A more senior mini-lead also gave me some advice e.g. “as the ones actually looking into the technical details, telling them you will not guarantee a deadline is a valid response”.
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Good day with a lot of laughs during foosball, ending with working protoype of new stuff 
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