For good pull-up form, this vid https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIvJTfGxdFo
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Ah had a narrow grip and the bent-knee-feet-back last night, will adjust. Thanks for the link!
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Somewhat quiet day but facing a sudden irritation spike with all the old negativity back. Thinking that I’m just chugging along life and dissatisfied with it, but I’ve nothing I really look forward or want to work towards since, well, every time I’ve had a desire this past period, reality has blocked me from reaching it. Paranoia that the people physically around me want me to be shit and are unhappy with my attempts to improve.
Ok, better now after some sauce-y food
Wouldn’t say lethargic but my energy was relatively low today, so mostly spent the day idling. Martial arts is ok though. I need more self-practice.
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Whew a lot of same negative thoughts on Friday came back today morning, though the emotional impact was muted.
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Ran 5 minutes of ASBR again last night - the trailer effect is back 
Clear head with more motivation, had undeserved hype even though I lost the foosball games, people starting conversations, the “whatever” feeling, catalogued some old small ideas.
Work dragged again, at this rate I should stop Muay Thai 
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Yesterday was a day of ups and downs but ended on an up (funny stuff during board games).
Same for today. Did the emotional “expulsion” thing again for the downs.
Tonight I have a lethargy hit.
Dropping EmpD to keep to 2-stack.
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Today is another actions-fail and frankenstein-monster day again, worsened by office people. Still not able to deal with this well
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It’s a good quiet weekend with a physical meetup with my board games circle and plenty of rest.
Not looking forward to the work week though…
Washout at the end of this week, then on to Alchemist 3. I recklessly ordered another ASBR custom again, this time with Limitless, on Friday night. Shouldn’t impulse buy in a bad mood 
But the idea had been jotted down for the whole of October. Hope things go well.
Also tempted to add a 3rd sub for some physical shifting. Getting some visible results now from the increased exercise focus since the first ASBR (+Spartan) custom. I first bought Wanted around this period last year. But should see how the next cycle goes first.
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Received my custom earlier than expected and decided to listen for 5min. No head denseness.
An older colleague who works with me but I have poor communication with (we usually agree but he’d take issue when I say it and then go a big round to say the same), is today alright, we had a productive discussion.
Identified the lacking parts in my work and a short-term solution.
Bad foosball performance today. Last ASBR custom I did poorly at foosball too, hope this doesn’t repeat…
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Came across this:
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Happy Deepavali!
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Ended up lazing during the washout, which I don’t regret.
Moving on to Alchemist 3 tonight.
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Bad dream returns, targeting my sore spots Feeling physically off too
Come evening a lot of resentment came back, probably logged this before, the feeling of being held to standards others aren’t, having to be flawless to be tolerated etc, society’s pretentious ivory virtues.
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Belated but Happy Diwali to you too!
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Bad dream again - dreamed of ostracism and heckling from old university acquaintances who were okay IRL.
Felt lightheaded until I reached home.
Today every time I opened my mouth something stupid came out
I’m back on Limiting People Remover and Fearsome, but tbh I don’t take it well when I perceive their effect Damn this office.
Lunch foosball and evening drum lesson went better than expected.
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Bit premature but my mood so far is definitely more fell, closer to before Alchemist 2.
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Mood’s back to pre-Alchemist 2 days, no thanks to office vermin. I’m not improving in the social regard and don’t know how to.
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Some TMI about KB and probably Alchemist:
On the KB thread others reported that it helps with their PMO, and IIRC when I first joined the forum I was asked why I still PMO on KB despite gaining all the other benefits. Personally, for me I’d get severe brain fog 2 weeks without releasing, even when I had that energy issue before KB, and I’d have to release to get rid of it.
I didn’t track since when, but the 2-week period has lengthened, it’s near the end of my third week since the last release.
…
Handling emotions:
It’s only a week of listening to Alchemist 3, but I’m entertaining the notion to be reckless and skip straight to Stage 4 for its Stage 2-part, whose effects I’ve evidently not internalized Not that I’m not negative on Stage 2 but it was less effort suppressing the impulse to punch a git, which would probably cost me my job.
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Paragon’s quite an incredible sub for me, though I’d rather not have had to reach for it
Maybe I should get Synergy: Preordained Vitality back in my stack.
Or, does anyone run Paragon long-term?
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