Good day with a lot of laughs during foosball, ending with working protoype of new stuff 
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Aunt asked me to tutor cousin in high school math.
Started a new martial arts class.
Finally got that “shift” again when attempting to meditate.
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Decent week so far, although work is kind of going in a circle.
Colleague discussing ideas: “It’s nice to talk to someone intelligent, others would be like ‘what are you talking about?’” I’ll let it feed into my newfound narcissism self-esteem
This seems quite true so far.
Thinking about September stack.
Noticing the correlation between not listening to Limiting People Remover and people’s appearances again.
Noticeably more tired at night, and at the same time a willingness to push past and get some drum/MA practice in.
The ASBR custom is ASBR/Spartan so could be the resilience/discipline kicking in.
Solving a high school vector question and I find it hard to explain to my cousin why I did what I did - four equations that provide information, only one doesn’t involve dot product, so the step was to dot both sides of that equation to then be able to apply the other information.
Urge to start baking again hit strongly today, especially since Mid-Autumn is approaching.
Expanded into thinking about my interests and the things I want to gain proficiency in. So many things, so little time, or rather so inefficient with my time. I’ve burned out before so I know I can’t be juggling too many things at once.
Tonight the thought that I can be much more is hitting hard, but how eludes me. This led to some frustration as I keep screwing drumming practice at one different place the last four times. Quite a bit of internal berating.
Today’s theme is people not following instructions leading to running around and OT. Just when I told myself to get rid of my own inefficiencies starting today. 
Running Alchemist as third title.
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Meh week, kind of running around in circles. Haven’t noticed anything from Alchemist 1 yet.
- Been trying to figure out a crash and finally confirmed it’s not something I introduced.
- Pretty strong desire to exercise every day
- Spiritually mostly cynical
- Weird surge of catfishing on Facebook…
- Going to try and post on Instagram. Got an almost immediate message from an IRL friend so hey.
Crash on Saturday. When I got the will back other obligations pop up and block the time. But with the lazing time I came across two obsure songs I really like.
Sunday I baked an old recipe but bungled it.
Met a friend who’s doing a coaching side hustle. See how it goes.
I’ve not worn a jacket into office since then. From wearing a jacket under the tropical sun to this.
I’ve no insight from Pathfinder yet, but am thinking about the effectiveness of KB so far, and since Alchemist involves energetic stuff, maybe that’s what I should focus on for now.
Thinking that my new mentality about people seems more in line with Emperor Black than Stark Black. But I came to it on Stark Black so.
Noticed head denseness clearing after eating something umami (miso), but only observed it once.
Pretty emotionally unstable day, feeling paranoid, helpless, external interferences screwing things up, things going the opposite of subs. Take action etc but it’s another kind of frustration when actions just hit the invisible walls of reality’s prison etc.
Not sure what I should do, what I can even do.
Regained a bit of stability over the weekend, but dreading work today.
In hindsight Spartan may not have been the best to add to ASBR, because exercise is now taking a huge focus compared to other things. Which isn’t bad but it dominates the dish so to speak. ‘Duh’, I guess - it’s a core.
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The trend of everything not working and actions meeting walls continues. Guess the trailer effect of ASBR is (was) over.
Annnd I end the day stuck in a train due to power fault, coming out into rain and congested roads. Drum class cancelled. No full moon. Bad enough that life blocks my actions to get out of its prison, it needs to fill it with shit.
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A more positive thing to log: since starting Alchemist I haven’t had a bad dream so far.
Maybe this is happening. Guess I should do a washout and change up?
Review of this cycle:
- More productive since starting ASBR.
- An irritating amount of external interference. Like after getting the ASBR/Spartan custom… I’ve been blocked from at least one class every week, causing a lot of frustration. People not following instructions (guess I’m still lacking dominance), video-call meetings dragging as people repeatedly wax over the same points, family obligation that gets cancelled while I’m literally on the way.
- Grabbed a workout routine to compensate for the missed martial arts classes, have stuck to it and spiritual/energetic practice, so that’s good.
- But not seeing improvements, leading to frustration. Guess I’m still lacking in the resilience part.
- No new insight on what to do from Pathfinder, just what not to bother with.
- I think my discipline’s improved, but focus is still lacking, so there’re several “pull back to task at hand” moments which takes some effort. Which reminds me of QL3 again but I’m on Alchemist now, unless I build a custom again.
- General taking action: repeatedly observing that most of my conscious attempts to “take action” fail, get disrupted etc. I’m probably overthinking, trying too hard and having expectations.
- This is getting better, but it’s still a long way to go.
- It’s fascinating, the 180 change in young staff when I’m assigned to review their report.
- I think my mental state was overall better than while on DRR, but still moody with two sharp downs. Two weeks of cancelled board game time on top of those missed classes contributed to crankiness.
Hm after this, I still feel like I’ve plateaued on my current stack, so:
KB3: Keeps giving, continue
Pathfinder → Refinery: Bit early but I feel I’ve gleaned all I can at this moment from it. And it has been one MWF so I don’t feel bad moving on.
ABSR → Emperor: Feels like the most similar sub while shaking something up. And I may need to put my foot down on some things, was more successful with that during the past Emperor run.
Stuck on a problem for the past two days, getting irritated.
Finally got to attend classes, but board games got cancelled again.
Noticed I’m physically tired by the end of the day.