Today was told by another about a blatant ostracism stunt this one pulled on him recently. Yeah it checks out.
Crazy long dark dream about a traumatised detective who looks like the woman from The Glory pushed to nearly taking justice into her own hands.
Mood finally lifted, whether it sustains is yet to see. Feeling vindicated especially by knowing that I’m not the only one helps.
In other news, bonus is here, vacation on last week of July.
1 Like
Had a great night with similar-difficulties friend. Though we talked about negative stuff and idk if I rubbed her the wrong way (she went through something relatable recently, but unlike me she keeps a virtuous opinion of people).
Still really great night.
2 Likes
Sick today. Blargh.
Hope you feel better soon!
2 Likes
Bought Paragon Complete and got one of the fastest results I’ve had, esp considering it’s a first listen.
Been suffering a churning and bloated stomach, gas, diarrhea, first day had chills and muscle aches. Just drinking water provokes it.
Last night feeling very queasy after pills and porridge, on a whim got Paragon Complete and listened for 5min. Almost right after the queasiness stopped and hasn’t returned.
I still have bloat and burping, but those symptoms have noticeably diminished. Finally hungry today.
Gonna run just Paragon for the rest of the cycle and then washout.
2 Likes
Stepped back into office and within four hours various people were telling me about the traps in my rotation if I don’t take action, and giving me various actions to take when the time comes… but I figured the other traps in taking those actions.
Either TWTP/DRR result/recon but the motivations behind everyone’s actions today seem obvious. What was that 40k saying? “He was not the man who brought the rasp; he was the rasp.”
Quite a lot of subtle malice from those not trying to get something. Met some new person who kept denigrating with the work-equivalent of “I also know cybersecurity, just run McAfee Antivirus”.
Somehow able to be cynically chill throughout.
1 Like
Figured I’d run one last run of DRR Stage 1 last night.
Nothing happened to me personally but today news, stories and witnessing things I feel like I’m solidly in the “acceptance” stage of my loss of faith in humanity and whatever other malevolence is out there.
There’s the morbid joke about the laws of thermodynamics:
- You can’t win the game
- You can’t break even
- You can’t quit*
- (0) You are in the game
*Well, heard about two other deaths in the past three days.
Just operate like a greedy algorithm from here on.
I’m sure this shift is not the intended effect of DRR but it is what it is.
1 Like
Watched The Accountant yesterday.
You’re different. Sooner or later, different scares people.
Alas I don’t have incredible skills to compensate for my social ineptitude.
May have had precon from DRR Stage 2.
Plan was to put Limitless back in after a month’s break, but recently I’ve been wondering do I really need it? If I can trust my supervisor’s words about my work prior to subs. Maybe resume after DRR?
I do need motivation, discipline and focus though.
Started Stage 2
Haven’t noticed effects. I don’t understand the differences between DRR’s stages as clearly as compared to KB or QL.
1 Like
Well this was interesting:
Type: Projector
Strategy: Wait for the Invitation (hah)
Inner Authority: Emotional - Solar Plexus
Definition: Split Definition
Profile: 5/1
Incarnation: Left Angle Cross of Migration (37/40 | 5/35)
Signature: Success
Not-Self Theme: Bitterness (HAH)
Digestion: Direct (oh)
Design Sense: Smell (huh)
Motivation: Guilt (hm true)
Perspective: Survival (paranoia intensifies)
Environment: Valleys
Projectors represent around 20% of the population in Human Design. Unlike Manifestors, Generators, and Manifesting Generators, Projectors don’t have defined Sacral Centers, which means they don’t have a consistent internal energy source for work and action. This fundamental difference significantly shapes the Projector’s life experience.
Checks out
Projectors are known for their deep wisdom and their ability to guide and direct others. They have a unique ability to see and understand others in a way that can bring clarity and insight. This can make them excellent advisors, coaches, or consultants. Their aura is focused and absorbing, allowing them to penetrate deeply into the other’s energy.
Doesn’t check out
While Generators are designed to respond and Manifestors to initiate, Projectors are here to wait for invitations and recognition. This is not about passivity but about aligning themselves with the correct opportunities and people who value their insights and guidance.
Waiting for the bridges I bought
As a Projector, understanding and accepting this waiting strategy can be challenging, especially in a world that values constant doing and initiating. However, when they honor their design, they can find themselves in the right places, with the right people, contributing their wisdom and making a real difference.
Am I not supposed to take action after all
For Projectors, seeking recognition from the outside can lead to frustration and bitterness. Instead, it’s about recognizing their value and worth, trusting their strategy, and allowing the right recognition to come to them.
First sentence checks out, second idkh
Being a Projector in a world that values constant doing and initiating can come with its challenges. Projectors may often feel pressure to do more, to keep up with the Generators and Manifesting Generators around them, or to initiate rather than wait for the invitation.
Checks out
As a 5/1 Projector, your 5th line represents your ability to universalize experiences or concepts. This means that you have a knack for making complex ideas relatable and understandable to a broad audience. You are often seen as someone who can shed light on problems or situations, offering solutions that cater to the needs of the collective.
Uh kinda but kinda not
On the other hand, the 1st line in your profile speaks to your innate investigative nature. You are inclined to dive deep into topics of interest, examining and exploring them thoroughly before forming an opinion or perspective. This investigative tendency is particularly important as it forms the foundation from which your 5th line universalizes.
Depends on the subject
A key characteristic of a 5/1 Projector is the natural aura of attractiveness you exude. The 5th line profile is often referred to as the “Heretic,” and individuals with this line in their profile are frequently the focus of attention and projection. People are naturally drawn to you and may attribute certain qualities or expectations onto you, whether or not they align with your true nature.
I wish
This can be both an advantage and a challenge. On the one hand, it can open doors and create opportunities that might not be available to others. On the other hand, it can place you under pressure to live up to the expectations that others project onto you. Balancing this dynamic is an essential part of your journey as a 5/1 Projector.
Checks out
One of the challenges that many 5/1 Projectors face is finding a sense of belonging. Your 5th line’s tendency to attract projections can sometimes make you feel like an outsider or misunderstood.
Checks out
However, finding your “tribe” – a group of people who understand and appreciate you for who you truly are – can be a powerful and healing experience.
One here, one there, life blocking everywhere
1 Like
Added back Limitless for 3min and had a weird recon(?), the inside of my brain has been ‘itching’ the whole day, right hemisphere, now left. Feels similar to past minor healing sensations.
FUCK BROADCOM
Thanks to whoever archived VMWare Communities pages on 21 November 2023
Destabilized today.
-
When I first learned about synesthesia years ago I thought about how ‘a’ is “red”, ‘i’ is “white”, ‘t’ is “yellow”… but I see the font colour as is, so figured it was overimagination.
-
I also do see characters with different depths even though I know there isn’t. Like the two 'e’s in ‘even’ are behind with the second ‘e’ being further away.
Today was suddenly very bothered by the #2-ness of something I myself wrote on a whiteboard. I asked two people near me if they also saw depth differences and got "no"s.
Ended up finding this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Synesthesia/comments/5z36j8/letters_in_words_have_depth_is_this_synesthesia/
Fits my experience, but only found this one instance.
In addition, this line:
With number-color, you obviously can’t physically see the colors, but with this, it’s almost like an illusion where my brain applies depth perception to words.
Dug further and apparently #1 is “associative synesthesia”.
Not sure what to think.
This was ‘normal’ for as long as I can remember but now every character is screaming at me. Typing this was taxing. Also paranoid about having exposed this to two colleagues, I don’t know if I should even be posting this here.
Experienced social disappointments today and because of DRR1 the emotional impact was very muted, like it shortcuts to “that’s the kind of people they are” acceptance. Feels like the jadedness I experienced on Emperor but specifically around the heart. An “armour of contempt” for a lack of better description.
1 Like
Got some advice:
“Everyone and their psychiatrist gatekeeps what is neurodivergent, like (one psychiatrist) insists that AuDHD is nonsense, so worrying if you’re neurodivergent because you have or lack some trait is as meaningless as when you first worried if you were normal. Focus on the traits you have themselves.”
1 Like
Hm the past two days I practised drumming a lot and now RM:V came out.
I don’t have the space though, and 1-2 are the only ones I’m interested in, only if suitable for still-learning phase.
2 Likes
Really bad day breaking through the newfound jadedness.
Like the universe went “Hold on HumanBean is getting better? Let’s go out of the way to manifest all his triggers at once.”
2 Likes
Quite a curious two days.
Wednesday that was the previous post, felt like this:
Thursday I got up and robotically went to work, and then unexpectedly zoned in like I experienced with QL3 until compilation time.
The social disappointments continued but the ‘armour of contempt’ came back online. It helped that I looked at someone else’s script and immediately improved on it.
As I left the office in the evening it grew into an unhinged narcissism:
Which reminds me that before the DRR side-track the plan was to ASBR.
The narcissism continues today and it feels good so I’m just gonna enjoy it.
The socially acceptable thought on this mental shift is that perhaps most of my cognitive blockages are emotions from social games taking up bandwidth. It was reinforced when I talked to a former colleague about the toll this now-cesspool of a workplace has inflicted (he told me he left not over money but the same frustration). Perhaps it’s less that I need to upgrade my capabilities, but that I need to get rid of what’s holding them back.
Which reminds me of the ‘do I need Limitless?’ question from a few weeks ago.
This thought seems closer to the description of DRR3 instead of DRR2, but I’m only 1.5 weeks into DRR2 and was questioning if I should continue. Looking at the last few months I seem to have a few “presults/precon” experiences.
Today is National Day, so gonna take a break from subs over the long weekend.
3 Likes
A pretty productive long weekend, held back by broken public repositories. Used to academic papers having broken source code, didn’t expect that from conference ones.
Got a good amount of practice for various other things.
Adding ASBR as third title.
1 Like