8 Months of EoG (and others) - SHADOW WORK 2022!

[AlexanderGraves]

We. But not necessarily because we had a choice, or considered it to be the best thing for us.

It’s because it’s what worked in a given scenario.

For example, peer pressure, right? That makes many people smokers in teenage years. This isn’t because we think it would be good for our nature to smoke. Or even that it IS our nature to smoke cigarettes. It is to fit in with the crowd. Society. Peers. This then is where you build your first part of an Ego.

People defend their addictions quite heavily, especially smoking for example. Despite knowing it’s bad and potentially (I don’t know) the fact that it’s not who they are deep down. Or even want to be?

Then again, this is all guesswork on other people.

FOR ME, I realised many parts of my ego don’t serve myself. For example, being the strong, iron fist ruler at home does serve sexually in a way, and I know that from evidence. But it didn’t make me happy underneath. Tons of sex/pleasures only make you happy for so long.

Genuinely being a higher vibration keeps on giving. FOR ME. Because it’s my nature.

Thus I need to kill parts of that Ego that thinks I need to control my wife/women to get from them what I want. An Ego I built over time by learning that it works.

Not everything that works makes you happy tho

[Malkuth]

@AlexanderGraves

We. But not necessarily because we had a choice, or considered it to be the best thing for us.

It’s because it’s what worked in a given scenario.

You’re describing the ‘Why’, but I’m still focusing on the ‘What’.

Who is this ‘We’ who put the ego there? I assume that this ‘We’ is not itself the ego since it is what put the ego there in the first place?

How intentional was this placement of the ego? How natural was it? In other words, to what extent is ‘ego’ just an expression of ‘We’?

@AlexanderGraves

FOR ME, I realised many parts of my ego don’t serve myself

What is the difference in your framework between ‘Self’ and ‘Ego’?

I ask in part because this term ‘ego’ tends to be used in quite different ways by different parties. For example, the Freudian Ego and the Buddhist Ego are not identical.

In reading your post, I’m guessing that your definition of ego may be: ‘inflexible, insistent beliefs, postures, and self-presentations that are based on meeting external demands and pressures rather than expressing integrity with one’s deep nature’. But I may not have gotten you quite right. If not, please correct me.

[AlexanderGraves]

@Malkuth

‘inflexible, insistent beliefs, postures, and self-presentations that are based on meeting external demands and pressures rather than expressing integrity with one’s deep nature’.

Quite, right. Expect in the beginning I would say they’re not necessarily inflexible, just not chosen by one’s true nature.

Basically, indoctrination. Environmental needs, etc.

FOR ME, the ego is a persona. Like the persona you display on Instagram (or many do, maybe not you ) that isn’t actually you.
People don’t wake up all dolled up to take a pic.
People don’t just go on vacations all year.

It’s a persona, created to serve the need of external validation given by society (Ego). Because they never learned to validate themselves internally (True nature).

Maybe my usage of “Ego” is misplaced idk.

[Malkuth]

Got it.

Yes, I use the term slightly differently. I’ll go to see if I can find a concise definition.

Okay. I’m actually using it in the precise same sense as this guy this person

[Correction: oops. just noticed, that was not written by a guy.]

In short, ego is a complex mental construct that answers the question ‘Who am I?’

It’s partly experiential: A toe bumps into a wall. There is a feeling of pain. “I” must be the one who felt the pain.

It’s partly narrative-based: A set of stories that I tell myself and/or respond to that describe a person called ‘me’.

It’s the foundation of ‘I-based’ or ‘Me-based’ functioning.

This is important because, it’s not the only way that minds can be organized. In fact, I believe that it’s a relatively primitive way that will most likely one day be outgrown. Today, however, it tends to be applied and used unquestioningly and to be regarded as ‘natural’ and ‘inevitable’.

The Ego, for me, is that sense of ‘Me’ and ‘Me-ness’.

[Ice]

@AlexanderGraves

Maybe PS will come online after a majority of the HS healing is done.

I have a feeling this will happen for you. I remember Saint mentioning that Heartsong has a lot of healing, and it seems you’re going through the thick of it right now. Once the healing subsides, I bet you that PS will really start to shine.

[MajorVic]

Those fights with your wife could be from heartsong. I am listening heartsong for 3th cicle (considering cicle 21 days plus washout) and I never fought so much with gf ever. It seems to have similar effect on me like you describing, battle between love from heart and all bad outlooks and negative sides of her from mind. But anyway I feel good that all untold stuff I repressed came to light even with arguing or honest conversations.

[AlexanderGraves]

@MajorVic

Those fights with your wife could be from heartsong. I am listening heartsong for 3th cicle (considering cicle 21 days plus washout) and I never fought so much with gf ever. It seems to have similar effect on me like you describing, battle between love from heart and all bad outlooks and negative sides of her from mind. But anyway I feel good that all untold stuff I repressed came to light even with arguing or honest conversations.

Yeah I guess this is it. Saint said HS is 70% healing somewhere on the forum so this must be it.

Either way, it’s good this shit happens because things get finally resolved. Did you also feel that your opened heart told you more what you actually want from her and you’re fine with it? That’s totally my feeling.

[AlexanderGraves]

The key to end suffering is to stop thinking.

[AlexanderGraves]

Day 49, washout day 13

So I realised that Heartsong is currently taking most of the processing by healing shit.
I do notice the other modules, but ever since HS came on, I really FEEL how it is prominent.

I saw this post by Saint:

@SaintSovereign

Brother – your current stack is FULL of healing, rofl. You’re running HEARTSONG, which is designed to manifest your perfect partner(s) or to attract the woman of your dreams. There’s A LOT of healing in it. And even more, you’re running PARAGON, which heals everything, including emotions. On a scale of 1-10 with healing, you’re at a 7. I’d say this is the equivalent of someone soloing Dragon Reborn, which by far, is the most intense healing subliminal we have. I (think, perhaps I’m wrong) advised you NOT to run Heartsong because of this, and I definitely wouldn’t have recommended Paragon for your purpose. These are both very introspective titles with healing. You want external results. Don’t blame us for a bad stack. That being said, I’m not contradicting what you’re experiencing, only pointing out that you’re using the wrong tools for your goal. You want women and you don’t want to deal with healing? Should’ve stuck with Libertine, Diamond and Primal Seduction: Iron Throne, since the healing in those are very light (non-existent in PS:IT’s case).

Plus, it feels like PS is mostly focused on skill, with a side of attraction, right? Primal part ofc is mostly inner game, but I feel like the cores in my sex-custom are wrong. PS and HS. It’s not really a sex custom, it’s a relationship healing custom.

Which also works well, but I might need to drop that custom for now because I don’t have the time or means to do extensive healing rn.

Going forward I might just make a custom with Wanted HS, or even Wanted Diamond.

For now, I want to focus mostly on wealth, which is why I might throw in the Emperor which also tackles all of it a bit.

Or it’s just recon making me want to switch.

Either way, the healing in HS DID do something. The wife became more sexier out of nowhere. Almost teasing me sexually. So she became more of what I want, and more of how I met her.

However I also realised it’s all in my mind. I was much more positive towards her because I have forgiven her.

As a great man said, “You’re not mad at a tree for being a tree, right? So why are you mad at a woman for being a woman?”

It came to me that how I AM TO HER is exactly what she radiates back. And recently I was mostly annoyed by her lol
Heartsong at work there!

[AlexanderGraves]

“We have been to the moon, we have charted the depths of the ocean and the heart of the atom, but we have a fear of looking inward to ourselves because we sense that is where all the contradictions flow together.”

Terence McKenna

[AlexanderGraves]

In light of this very quote it is important to realize that I have a knack for changing others. I always had. My astrology even says that.

Which is hypocritical if I think about it because I don’t have my own shit together.

Looking inward seems to be the key for me now.

I am still in belief that the subs I listen to are somewhat guided. Yeah I switch a lot, but I think the lessons are important.

I was guided to Chosen, Alchemist, all spirituality, until I realised I cannot live a life fully in spirit. Not yet at least. Then I went to money and sex only, which doesn’t make me happy long-term.

So the solution - as always - is the middle ground.

I need to find a way to wove Chosen into my current stack of:
Wealth Custom (RICH, Limitless)
EoG Stages
Relationship Custom

The first obvious point would be the RS custom, although it was Heartsong after all that brought me here. And I am having a tough time dropping this custom after just one run. It also has SPS Endocrine System, Premature Ejaculation, Soul Connection, Entranced. A lot of great modules I don’t want to miss.
EoG cannot be dropped for now.
Neither can RICH Reality.

It might just be a cycle-switch between chosen and the RS custom. Hmm.

[AlexanderGraves]

THIS is shadow work, my friends.

I know many might read this journal looking for money stuff. But shadow work is the key, also for money.

After all, what stops me from making big bucks is limiting beliefs DEEPLY ingrained in myself.
Impostor syndrome is a big one for me.
And after all, money is a side-effect of using your life-time properly. Giving value to others.

Going deep into yourself to find out where you really want to head. Where you are supposed to head.

ZP’s very nature.

I wonder if the current “enlightenment” (lol, not really) I experience is because of the name-embedding in the new customs, and if that will fade to be more grounded again. Either way, currently I am enjoying this experience.

[AlexanderGraves]

When women test you (which they do a lot) they always go into the energy you hate the most.

This is where they can TRULY see if you love them regardless.

The weak man then usually runs away, only to find the same shit (or similar) happening with another woman.

The strong man withstands the feminine storm, and comes out a stronger sailor on the beautiful island.

So I realised yet again, it is not on me to change my wife to be different and adhere to my positive energies, it is ME that must change. Not for her, but to be more resilient. To withstand external shit and be in my own positive energy regardless.

What a deep insight I just gained.

And I need Chosen lol

[friday]

@AlexanderGraves

But because I do @Simon 's great method of working through my mental issues I notice that I keep crossing off limiting beliefs every now and then from that list.

Can you please link that method? I am not aware of it.

[AlexanderGraves]

@friday

Can you please link that method? I am not aware of it.

Sure, this one that’s been linked a million times

EOG: No small change

Sure. No single subliminal file can be expected to: clear ALL possible limiting beliefs, for ALL possible ways to build wealth, simultaneously - in just 1 month. Without a goal, all that the file can work on are: A) general poverty consciousness issues; B) day to day challenges one has in their current job/business. THAT is simply NOT enough to build lasting wealth which is the goal of EOG-Core inside G1. The more conscious awareness you have of your goals, concerns, fears, etc., the …

[AlexanderGraves]

Day 50, washout day 14.

So after 14 days of washout I TruLY felt I needed more positivity. Not just to battle lingering recon, but really to raise my vibration. It was a deep feeling of desperately needing more positive notions in my mind, regardless of circumstances.

So I ran 3 minutes of Chosen this morning, breaking the 14 day washout.

Will run nothing for 4 more days before I start the actual cycle with EoG as always. But I think this will give a nice touch to it.

[AlexanderGraves]

Okay Ascension Chamber is getting freaky.

Before anyone asks, I did run a stint of Mind’s Eye in the past, plus my customs contain a lot of conscious, subconscious enhancers like Tyrant, Merger of Worlds, Inner Voice, Divine Will, etc (or did contain) so these certainly help.

However I am currently at the stage where the manifestations happen within minutes.

Simple things like I had a call today at 4pm (people can auto schedule this on my available time slots) but this one didn’t REALLY fit into my plans. I could’ve done it, but it would’ve been stressful.
Told my wife at lunch that I don’t really fancy the call later.
10 minutes later after lunch I check my emails and the guy rescheduled to next week.

I didn’t even visualise anything. I just FELT that I don’t want it rn and it happened.

This keeps happening everywhere and with everything.

It’s never been SO QUICK from a thought in my mind to it becoming reality ever since AC. And I only did 3 loops of it so far.

[AlexanderGraves]

Day 51, one day after Chosen 3 minutes

So the 3 minute thingy is legit. I don’t notice anything in my mind, or not much I should say, but results are there I can see and feel that.

I think it feels like I am not feeling much because I am simply not overloaded. I just flow with it. Feels good!

However, as mentioned, I see Dragon Reborn everywhere, everyone mentioning it to me. Maybe this is my subconscious telling me what I need.

Specifically this part n ST1 is intriguing:

Dragon Fire will also help you become immune to future conditioning from your environment and others, while helping you increase your sensitivity to positive subliminal influence.

Because so far I pick up any idea that comes my way and make it gospel. I need to stop this.

I don’t want to stop EoG, but idk if EoG and DR is too much. Plus Chosen to stay positive.

Maybe I do it for one cycle, to see how it feels…

[Deadpool]

[AlexanderGraves]

Just ordered DR. After seeing @James posts about healing the inner child I knew I had to do that.

And it fits the title of my journal. Shadow work.

EoG DR and Chosen is the plan for now.