- 11 04 26 (Rest Day 2 of 2) After Sleep
Still Can’t Recall Any Dreams
Slept 6 hours today.
Stayed up late last night. Took quite a while to get my new phone all set up.
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Here is a very interesting quote from Saint (from his personal journal) about the new Adaptive scripting and how to experiment with it to get better results.
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- 11 04 26 (Rest Day 2 of 2) After Dinner (not sure what that has to do with anything
)
Received my name embedded Reforged + GLM (core)
Only took 2 business days also (no rush). I’m not running this until almost mid January but I have it now and don’t have to worry about forgetting to have it made because we have the Holiday Season rush coming up and I’m sure there’s still quite a bit of orders right around New Year also.
So to be clear it is the REFORGED (core) + GLM (core) so they are the full titles together. My Trading Custom only has the essence of GLM which is “Essence:A Perfect Unyielding”.
So if I need more GLM for a round, then I use this name embedded custom.
For my Trading Custom I decided I’m going to have my full name, not just my first and middle like I’ve been doing.
I mentioned that I’ve changed my trading custom and also realized that I really don’t need the healing custom because of the “Trifecta” titles I’ll be running (PEACE + REFORGED (both Saint Titles) + GLM) covers all the areas I need.
I also decided I’m going to do my own version of the Trading Custom in Stages. I think it will only be two stages, possibly 3 later down the road). The whole point of this is when I analyzed everything I thought it would be much better to have less in stage 1 so the core areas are focused on. That way it builds a solid foundation and doesn’t dilute my work.
Then in stage 2 I can add more enhancements and focus more on certain areas that need the focus.
Stage 1 now looks like this:
Sultan & Sage Trader Stage 1
- New Wealth Experience Core (Core)
2.* Emperor Reforged Core * (Core Wealth Sovereignty + Romance)
-
Essence: The Inner Edge (Psychology part of RICH Trader ONLY)
-
Essence:A Perfect Unyielding (GLM Condensed)
-
Synergy: The Golden One (Wealth Engine)
-
Endgame Drive (Productivity (works to eliminate Perfectionism))
-
Synergy:Wisdom of The Ages (Enhancement. The “Sage” portion)
-
Gentleman’s Speech (Skills)
[END]
Gentleman’s Speech seems out of place but I figure that will take some time. It comes in handy for Romance, as far as the type of partner I want to attract, but also I will need this later when I get to the investing stage and need to collaborate with Real Estate Agents, attorneys, and the negotiation process.
Trading solo and not being a manager for years, has had a detrimental affect on my speech, especially word selection.
When I feel enough of those modules have been integrated, then I can add modules that go into further depths. Modules such as New Market Weaver; Off Grid; The Lazy Genius, etc. I figure why dilute what I really need to focus on.
I’ve been really silly about “affording” these customs. I have done incredibly well on keeping a tight budget, and for good reason, but I have more money set aside than part of me thinks. It’s actually quite odd but there is a part of me that has become consumed by a scarcity mindset. It actually makes sense because of all the traumatic loss I’ve had and then actual financial loss. But the scarcity mindset is silly nonetheless.
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- 11 05 26 (Listening Day 4) Before Bed
PEACE: 7 Min
RoW: 3 Min
It’s very interesting, I immediately felt RoW but then I realized I just came off of 2 consecutive rest days.
Right after listening to the stack I pulled up my Forex Backtesting Software and ran my charts for about 10 minutes and then I got this ping to stop the charts. I did and just sat there and looked at the charts. It was as though my mind had to take it all in and digest it.
So after about five minutes I turned off my charts and had this interesting urge, out of nowhere, to go to the Mises Institute website. “What’s that?” you might ask. It’s a website dedicated to Ludwig von Mises who was a famous Austrian Economist (there were a few).
Funny thing is, I haven’t been on that website in quite a while and even though I’ve been watching quite a bit of Finance Documentaries lately, he’s not one that comes up very often at all. John Maynard Keynes of course pops up quite a bit, and every once in awhile so does Friedrich Hayek (another Austrian Economist). So I don’t exactly know why Mises popped up.
I also watched another financial documentary “Bigger Than Enron” which I haven’t seen in probably a decade. That was more about the accounting scandals that hid Enron’s fictional financials and was the prelude to the Internet Stock Bubble Burst of 2000ish.
Then my head started tingling again. I actually haven’t had that for over a day. So my brain is processing something.
If you are interested in the Internet Stock collapse of the 2000’s look up Monopoly dot com edition. It was all of the biggest internet companies, most of which are completely vanished or just shells of what they were back then. AOL was massive back then. I’ll see someone with an AOL email address every once in a while and I’ll just crack up laughing to myself. Just about everyone in the late 90’s to early 2000’s had an AOL email address. It even co-starred in the movie “You Got Mail” with Tom Hanks.
AOL was so huge and profitable they merged with Time Warner and it was the biggest merger in history at that time.
Here is an interesting stock certificate:
Will I have dreams tonight? We’ll see. I’m not worried about it, I’m just very curious. It just tells me that my mind is working on something big. So I just give it a ton more information to work through. 
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- 11 05 26 (Listening Day 4) Before Bed
PEACE:7 Min
RoW:3 Min
EPIPHANY!
I purchased an audiobook on Audible (Amazon) titled “The History of Money”. Yeah, I’m on a roll. LOL. Less than a couple of minutes into the first lesson is when my epiphany happened and this is a doozy.
The instructor (quite good actually) was talking about the 4 Key Functions Of Money. The epiphany was the very first key function of money:
- Acts as a measure of value
Truly think about this for a moment. What is another word for value? Worth! Think Self Worth aka self-esteem.
What’s the connection? I’m being very serious here. Think of poor neighborhoods. Think of menial jobs. It’s not always 100% but close enough, people often have low self-esteem. Low self-worth. Aka low self-value.
It is a little more complicated sometimes but even with me, when I truly had money issues, yeah I was trying to deal with the trauma of my partner instantly dying in a car wreck. But it lead to depression and then I collapsed on myself and ended up having very low self-esteem.
Other short periods of my personal life where I had money issues, I had low self-esteem because something happened. A very common issue of people having spending problems (I mean serious spending problems) is due to low self-esteem.
I was raised in poverty and sure enough, I saw all kinds of low self-esteem. Sure, if you think about it, on the surface one would think that your self-worth goes to crap if you don’t have money, and that’s true. But often the real cause of poverty is low-self esteem.
I’ve seen it countless times. Hell I lived in it. I absolutely never connected the two. Like I said, it’s very easy to automatically think the cause of low self-esteem is poverty. I’m saying it’s the opposite in most cases, it’s actually the cause of poverty more often than not.
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- 11 05 26 (Listening Day 4) After sleep
PEACE: 7 Min
RoW:3 Min
I finally recall a couple of dreams
This is interesting AND confusing at the same time. I recall two dreams and they both seemed to be dreams of me healing something about me and how that part of me relates to money, and then it was integrated into my psyche.
That’s confusing because I’m running PEACE w Synergy:Harmonic Conflux + RoW. Neither are healing titles. Could it be from RICH Trader being run before? Or other subs I’ve run? Or is my mind just completely taking charge and doing some healing on its own?
So is that considered healing or just understanding and then integrating? I think I’ll ask qOS because I’m incredibly curious now.
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Possible answer to my post just above.
This is directly from the RoW description:
"The Revelation of Wealth, among other things, is designed to reveal how you sabotage and why, while unveiling the true essence of wealth acquisition, and not what you’ve been told — from others, from society, and the lies you tell yourself.
And once those issues are brought to light, by taking conscious action to resolve them, you’ll find that all wealth-related matters in your life will skyrocket toward the better, as you operate from a more enlightened, holistic worldview of all things related to money."
To me, that’s “healing” but it could also be thought of as learning and then integrating.
So if this is the case, if this is what I’ve been doing lately, then it makes sense. My sleep may be at a deeper level lately and for some reason I just don’t recall them until a couple of dreams today.
My theory is that if I keep listening to these deeper financial documentaries, and even courses, than more of money and finance will make sense on a deep level.
Money has always intrigued and confused me for a very long time. I’ve genuinely have asked friends, colleagues, family, etc. “What is money? I mean truly what is it? How did it even come about? And why does so much of our world revolve around it?”
Those are much deeper questions than people first think. At first, most people laugh almost in pity. Then when that start to try to explain it, they go to how it’s used. But there comes a point where everyone starts to get it and then they get confused AF and then quickly changed the subject.
Money reminds me of the movie Dark City (1998):
Link from IMDB:
www.imdb.com/title/tt0118929
In dark city the protagonist of the movie comes back to consciousness at the wrong time and witnesses something strange. Then he starts to question everything about their lives. Shell Beach. He asks a couple of people and everyone loves Shell Beach, but no one remembers the last time they went or how to get there.
Money sort of reminds me of Shell Beach. We know what money does (sort of, and that’s being revealed in more depth to me) but no one really knows why. Heck only about 10% of financial transactions actually involve physical money now (bills & coins) so it’s not even really a “piece of paper with dead Presidents on them” (US Money), it’s often just digits in cyberspace.
But money is built on trust and … getting closer, but I’m digger much deeper. Also the financial systems and my just watching charts, revisiting market theory etc is something else I’m digging into.
So I’ll be running this title just this round and then I’ll move on to my “Trifecta Stack” and then will run my upcoming Trader Custom. At some point around that time I’ll look at running RoW yet again for one round.
This is getting fun.
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- 11 05 26 (Listening Day 4) After sleep
PEACE:7 Min
RoW:3 Min
The Art of War by Sun Tzu was NOT a book about war. It wasn’t even a business book, per se. It was a FINANCIAL book.
Sun Tzu was an accountant before he was a General. He wrote The Art of War to help alleviate the costs of prolonged warfare.
His theory was put to the test. He passed the test and THEN was made a General. But was still an accountant at heart.
I never knew that before and have read a few different translations of The Art of War over the years, and twice while I was an active manager. All the while thinking, like most people, that it was a book about war strategy. It isn’t. It’s economic strategy.
And for the record, yes, at some point I will run Emperor:The Art of War. It even states that it’s a very good match for traders. But, one step at a time. 
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interesting take, I read it a few years ago but didn’t find it all that insightful. Like, most of the takes were very common sense but I guess considering how many years ago it was written and that common sense isn’t always common, that’s why it’s so popular
That said, can you share an example of something being applicable to finances specifically from that book?
Sure. There are many, but here are a couple …
Chapter II: Resource Management
… When raising one hundred thousand soldiers and settling out on a campaign of one thousand li, the expenses of the hundred clans and the contributions of the nation are one thousand gold pieces a day. …
Translation:
The cost of warfare is incredibly expensive and is a drain both financially (the citizens have to pay higher taxes), but is a drain on the population. People are fighting war instead of farming, working in factories, etc.
In this case, when you read further in the chapter he is talking about using spies ahead of time. Much less financial resources are needed because it’s just a few spies instead of a hundred thousand soldiers. All those soldiers need food which means people are needed to transport the food, which costs money.
Essentially, allocate your resources better, both in terms of people and finances. Sun Tzu also advices not to drag out war because of the cost, again, financially but also due to a loss of people, including being killed in war.
Bottom line, plug financial leaks.
Chapter VI: Strength and Weakness
… Advance in a way that leaves no room for resistance - strike where the enemy is weak. Retreat in a way that cannot be pursued. Move swiftly and out of reach. …
Translation:
Efficiency, again to save money. Have a smaller, but well trained army. Also this is about finding people who are adaptable to the situation, and knowing how to exploit the enemy’s weakness.
Chapter VIII: Strategy and Maneuver
… Therefore, one must advance rapidly, without delay, both day and night, doubling the pace, …
Translation:
This is about efficiency again, in order to save money and time.
[END]
These are just a couple examples, but so many of the chapters go into various different ways of efficiency. Planning ahead of time by doing research on your enemy (or markets; competitors; etc). Not hiring too many people because of the ongoing cost (or making too many trades in the markets; or having too many products that aren’t producing a profit, etc).
Not every single chapter is about efficiency, but most are and again, the main reason is to reduce costs which in this case meant higher taxes to the citizens and loss of people who could be farming, producing things in factories, having children, etc.
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I was thinking about this the other day
There’s a book by Shawn Achor called The Power of Beliefs
One of the chapters is the core belief of “My Behaviour Matters”
When we believe that our behavior doesn’t matter, sometimes we don’t try to open the door in front of us.
Which leads onto:
“A dyslexic child who was told they were dumb might stop trying in school. A person who did not lose weight after two diets they found on Instagram might then believe that nothing they can do will change their weight, so they quit taking any healthy steps. Or a woman who is cheated on in two relationships after trying her hardest might then believe that all men are bad and give up her dream of being married with kids one day. The belief that “My behavior doesn’t matter” is one of the most studied aspects of psychology, and we can see the impact out of the lab in big and small ways. Think about one of your friends or a child who is struggling, and I’m willing to bet that one of their biggest stumbling blocks is that they believe that whatever they do won’t fix the situation.”
If you believe your behaviour doesn’t matter, you stop taking action.
“ “My behavior matters” to me is the cornerstone of positive psychology because you can’t create positive change without it.”
Want more success? Believe your behavior matters.
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Exactly. Your entire post hits the nail right on the head. With low self-esteem you can’t see opportunity because “opportunity doesn’t exist” for you. “I can’t do that”, “That’s not for me”, etc.
When I lived both in Southern California and Las Vegas I used to go to a ton of motivational seminars. So many of the well known motivational speakers live(d) (many have moved from there now) in So Cal.
One of the very famous speakers (I don’t recall who it was) mentioned how it was ironic that poor neighborhoods looked so bad because most of the people had a lot of free time on their hands, yet wealthy neighborhoods, where the main owner was working all the time, look so emasculate, yet they didn’t even see their home that often. He went on to explain the difference in self-worth. That stuck with me.
Low self-worth also often means low motivation. It’s not judgement. It’s observation and fact. When you’re down like that it can be very difficult to pull yourself out. Most don’t and it’s a shame. There is so much potential out there being wasted. It’s not an easy solution but solid self-esteem, like your posts mentions, will get you out much quicker and onto a better life.
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- 11 06 26 (Rest Day) after sleep
I recall dreams from last night
So my mind is absolutely “healing” and integrating the new growth into my psyche one area at a time and right now the focus is mainly wealth orientated and how I view myself as being wealthy, how I want to be, etc.
A couple of the dreams I remember from last night are very interesting and it all makes sense. I new it must have been some pretty deep work that was going on. It seems whenever I can’t recall dreams than it’s a sign that there is some deep work going on. I was right.
BTW, one of the subs I’m looking to add to the second phase of my Trading/Wealth sub is The Joy of Wealth:
One part of the description that jumps out is “explores abundance as a profound sense of fulfillment beyond material possessions.” There is also a lot of scripting in there for resilience, gratitude, etc. Also “you create an enduring foundation of joy, abundance, and peace that transforms challenges into opportunities and scarcity into fulfillment.”
The interesting thing is that PEACE covers quite a bit of this all by itself. The “Trifecta” stack that I’ll be running next and will be the core of my work for the next couple of years covers this to a large extent, but the module Joy of Wealth is more focused. But that module might be added in “Stage 2” after I’ve done significant work with the more focused Stage 1. I need that inner work to be more thorough before I add those more focused module.
I need and want to cultivate more people in my life. I put myself in dark box, or cave, and it’s natural when someone is grieving heavily.
Oh, and silly me, I forgot that in Stage 1 of my Trading/Wealth sub I was missing a sub that I’m going to ask about, but I’m looking at:
That’s the essence of RICH and is focused on feeling comfortable about money in general and your self-worth about money, wealth, etc (all the same territory)
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Clarification on The Art of War being a Financial book at its core.
I think I clarified it, but I’ll make it more succinct here:
The entire book is about efficiency of money and resources (people).
Be a good leader, have a strong force close to home, in order to reduce costs, have good intelligence (in this case spies) because they are much cheaper to gather information, and have people who can use that information to defend or to attack quickly and effectively, again, to save money and other resources.
Shore up all financial leaks and always review those.
Absolutely there is incredible military strategy in it, after all, it is the Art of War. But if you break the book down it’s all about efficiency to reduce costs and loss of other resources.
During the time the book was written everyone in that area was constantly at war and it was draining society due to high taxes, war fatigue, losing people etc. War. War. War. That was on all the leaders minds.
Do you think any leaders would look at a book titled “The Art of Saving Money For Waring Idiots” when all their minds were on WAR and victory, when they all thought they were War geniuses? It’s all about sales and marketing, even back then.
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- 11 06 26 (Rest Day)
Praise the bridge that carried you over.
- George Colman (Dramatist)
I love this quote because it actually is more nuanced than it first appears. It’s about gratitude. It’s about growth and moving forward, yet remembering to be thankful for the past and your new future.
It’s also a metaphor about bridges. A bridge doesn’t necessarily take that long to build, but in most cases will last generations. When you cross a bridge you don’t think of the work and the lives that made it possible, and most people don’t think about where they just came from.
Sometimes people just take it all for granted.
Take a moment and just acknowledge all that came before and be thankful and enjoy your new destination, life, etc.
3 Likes
- 11 06 26 (Rest Day)
Therapy Day
Today was therapy. We’ll see how I am tomorrow. Covered some deep things today and instead of taking the bus, I took an Uber home.
Got my favorite Thai dish and had a calm and peaceful dinner at home. I love Thai food, because I always have leftovers. So tomorrow I’ll get to enjoy the leftovers.
My therapy homework will be difficult this week. We’ll see if I can complete it. It’s digging into the grief of losing my partner and attempting to find what I’m not letting go of? What I feel I lost? Ultimately, it’s not anything I lost, it’s what was already in me. Why do I feel it was just my partner who could provide this?
Normally it would take a while to have an exercise like this. But, it’s been a long time and I went through a lot of therapy. I don’t have to accomplish it this week, but my therapist won’t allow me to hide from these lessons for that long.
I have a 24/7 hotline I’m able to call to help any difficulties that might come up. Someone who’s trained with what I’m dealing with and what we are working on in therapy.
I just basically sat in quiet after dinner. No music. Not watching anything. It’s not that cold but I curled up on my couch with a thin blanket on and just lied down for a while and just let all the feelings come as they may. They did. It all still hurts. I feel as though part of my heart was ripped out and is gone. I guess in many ways it was.
It reminds me of the quote about the bridge I wrote earlier today. I’m basically on the bridge still. Having gratitude about what was and the sacrifices both of us made for each other out of love. Neither of us betrayed the other. My partner dying was out of both of our hands. I don’t have to die inside because of it. That’s not fair to me or my partner.
3 Likes
- 11 07 26 (Listening Day 5)
PEACE: 9 Min
RoW: 5 Min
Remembered a couple of dreams
I’m not going to lie, I was a little worried about going to bed. I listened to my subs just before bed and I truly think that helped, especially PEACE.
I fell right asleep and slept deep. I did wake up once though, but then fell right back asleep and into a deep sleep. That is PEACE doing its magic.
I had one dream that was incredibly odd. I was a professional tennis player (I’m not tennis guy at all and don’t play it) and went up against a Japanese celebrity (fictional and he wasn’t a tennis player in the dream). It was a televised exhibition game (no clue what that’s about) to see how much better a pro player is against a new tennis player.
I held back a little in the beginning and had some playful fun, but then went full on towards the end. The last match I served incredibly hard and it hit the other player in the gut, knocking the wind out of him.
I have no clue what any of that is about. I’m not a tennis guy. I certainly wasn’t a pro sports player in any sport (I do love golf), so that dream is a mystery. I tried to break it down into symbolism, even just to the minimum of holding back and then going full force against an amateur and frankly that doesn’t make sense.
Was I the Japanese player and life came at me full force? That doesn’t make much sense either really. So I have no clue. Sometimes dreams are to just blow off steam too. They don’t always have some deep meaning. Maybe this was one of those?
I actually woke up just fine today. I slept almost a full 8 hours, it was close enough to call 8 hours. And I woke up naturally. I purposefully didn’t have any appointments today and won’t run any errands.
Forgot to mention, yesterday was pissing rain most of the day. I got quite wet. Anyway, I woke up in good spirits. We’ll see how the rest of the day goes.
I plan to watch: The International today (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0963178). I mentioned it a couple of posts back so I’m going to watch it today. It’s not one that is going to bring up any heavy emotions and I’m not working on any of my therapy homework today. I need a break today.
I think I’m going to cheat today and then also watch a very light movie. I’m thinking a Peanuts Christmas cartoon, there are a couple. Or maybe the stop animation version of Rudolph. Something very kiddy and light just to rest my mind and emotions.
I must say though, PEACE seemed to have helped calm down everything. I still need to, and want to do my therapy homework. Just not today. I have that right and it’ my choice.
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- 11 07 26 (Listening Day 5) After waking up
PEACE: 9 Min
RoW: 5 Min
Stop melting under pressure
BTW, this is one of the issues I’ve found myself in. Collapsing upon myself because of all the trauma.
Here is a very interesting short Youtube video of about 10 minutes that’s an interview clip with Dan Peña talking about how too many men in modern society collapse under slight pressure and how society has gone too far on one side of the spectrum:
Even Dan Peña isn’t recommending to swing to the other extreme where he’s at, more towards the center, but he’s saying that guys need to get a pair, grab them and hit “snowflakes” with them to wake them up (me paraphrasing, but pretty damn close).
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- 11 07 26 (Listening Day 5)
PEACE: 9 Min
RoW: 5 Min
Epiphany about why losing my partner has been so difficult
Sometimes something so simple can make a massive change. Music. Music is so incredibly powerful, as are stories. They both are literally in our DNA and is why we crave both so much.
We know that we sat around campfires and told stories even in “primitive times” and also had rhythmic chanting, drums, etc.
I was doing some menial, but much needed work on updating my finances. Always needed and frankly normally I have an accountant and then would have to sit down every couple of months and go over things. For now, it’s just me.
So I was listening to music. I already mentioned I have literally thousands of hours of music. from the 60’s through the 90’s and some 2000s+.
l hadn’t listened to Eagles in quite a while and I frankly LOVE them. So much of their music I grew up with from a little boy (I was born in Los Angeles 1971 and so were the Eagles). Their music has been with me almost from day one. But I digress, yet again.
So I pulled out all their slow songs that I love and put it in a temporary list, so that way I’m not jarred out of my focus by one of their faster, “heavier” songs.
Then Wasted Time came on and that’s when the epiphany came and I dropped everything and then re listened to the song when it finished.
The reason is because of the incredible lyrics and how they really hit home:
Wasted Time (lyrics)
Well baby, there you stand
With your little head down in your hand
Oh my God, you can’t believe it’s happening again
Your baby’s gone and you’re all alone
And it looks like the end
Back out on the street
And you’re trying to remember, oh
How do you start it over
You don’t know if you can
You don’t care much for a stranger’s touch
But you can’t hold your man
You never thought you’d be alone
This far down the line
But I know what’s been on your mind
You’re afraid it’s all been wasted time
The autumn leaves have got you thinking
About the first time that you fell, fell
You didn’t love the boy too much
No, no you just loved the boy too well, yeah
So you live from day to day
And you dream about tomorrow
And the hours go by like minutes
And the shadows come to stay
So you take a little something to make them go away
And I could have done so many things, baby
If I could only stop my mind
From wondering what I left behind
And from worrying about this wasted time
The love has come and gone
The years keep rushing on
I remember what you told me
Before you went out on your own
Sometimes to keep it together
You got to leave it alone
So you can get on with your search, baby
And I can get on with mine
Maybe someday we will find
That it wasn’t really wasted time
Written by: Glenn Lewis Frey, Donald Hugh Henley
Album: Hotel California
Released: 1976
Absolutely beautiful song but damn are those lyrics really hitting home. I’m not old, but I’m older. Part of me absolutely feels I’m “too old”. I’m running out of time. Has it all been a waste of time? Blah, blah, blah.
I’m not going to lie, all these thoughts have gone through my head. Some of them a part of me is convinced that it’s true. Bullshit! Yeah, I need some work. I’m not going to lie, stress and grief have taken their toll. I have somewhat let myself go. I admit it. I sort of gave up while at the same time trying to move past all of this, but still honor myself, my partner and our relationship.
I will NEVER dishonor my partner or our relationship. But I’ve been f*n scared. Can I come back? Why should I really even try (don’t worry, I’m not depressed, but it is something you ask yourself once you get a certain age)? Again, blah, blah, blah.
Funny thing is, this one song actually massively helps out my homework assignment from therapy. It doesn’t take care of it all because we need to go into more depth, but it certainly is the jist of everything and covers it incredibly well.
Thank you Glenn Frey & Don Henley! 50 years later (literally to the year!) and your lyrics took care of my therapy homework.
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- 11 08 26 (Rest Day)
Sleep: 7.5 Hours
Woke up in a very calm, yet confident mood. I feel very grounded and settled.
It’s difficult to explain the feeling today. It’s not a supercharged energy, raring to go, yet I am full of energy. It’s there if I need or want it. But not overflowing.
I feel happy. Like the cup is full happy. Again, not overflowing, just full. Grounded. Stable. Confident.
It’s a very interesting feeling and one I really like. I’ll have to read through PEACE later and see if there is something in there that may describe what I’m feeling. I have a feeling that I’ve reached a new level of everyday being.
Sort of like equanimity. Man I love that. I get back to center much quicker than I used to and don’t get pulled off that often. Equanimity has become so normal I almost forget about it now. I love it.
But this feeling today might be because of the breakthrough I had yesterday because of the Eagles song Wasted Time. I’m not that old but our mind can be silly at times. Heck Dan Peña is 81 and full of more vigor than a lot of 20 year olds. I think that settled with me also.
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