I am on Hero tltb since release until now and not stopping.
4 months earth brouth up hidden, long forgotten, suppressed feelings of my body. I had to learn to be truthful to myself, many times I was walking alone at night and crashed down to earth in tears.,i cried, shouted, exploded, freaked out and spoke to nature what I have never told anybody, I knew nature is strong enough to lisen and support me. I started to work through layers of buried expiriences with a stability (did also the new Godlike Masculinity at the same time) that I can safely go through everything and then ground myself back into a pleasant body expirience.
Connection to Nature and my body was a newfound stability for my life, I found pleasure in movement of my body.
St2 Water for 2 months and 3 weeks (with Earth)
It brought water to dry soil so to speak. This was the toughest phase for me. It gave me what my mother didn’t give me. I nearly gave up after 3 weeks. Non the less I proceeded stubbornly. I felt the pain, the loneliness, the dry criple inside me, the destroyed parts of my soul came slowly back because there was love present in myself, there was nurturing energy that can reach my core, it was safe for my splitted soul to return. Very painful process but like I said : there was love underneath everything.
So I started to lisen to children songs at night to sleep in and reconnect to something I need.
After 40 days I didn’t need it anymore and I was growing secure in the fact that I also don’t need my mother to give me anything.
I can do it myself now.
I nurture myself everywhere
St 3 Air solo for 2 months
This stage was actually easy like a self organizing orchestra, old unusful patterns lost weight and replaced with new ones. Brought new perspectives to my life and I started to fly again.
Piece of cake
After one loop of ST4 I knew that this is what I need for a longer time, so I built a Hero Origin&ST1 Earth &ST4 Fire custom which I am listening since 5 months.
Fire brought my life back into warmth and makes me doing things. I see anger as sing to look deeper and I find values that are being overstepped. All I need to do is having self respect and grow Boundarys, then the flames dances a warming dance
I love it