ZP Journal (CHOSEN SOLO) - Ichiban is going up the ladder

Journals - Major Programs
#41

Dec 29:
Despite running two loops of Chosen yesterday morning, I didn’t notice any euphoria or evident changes.

I’m guessing the results may be harder to notice now. For example, I had a pretty decent day mood-wise, even though I was on the move running errands all day. I also met with a couple of friends for a quick motorcycle ride in the morning and felt very confident and chatty; more so than normal.

I’m feeling compelled to add Emperor ZP to my stack right away given people’s reactions to it. I wanted to wait until Jan 4th, so that I’d be back at work, but it seems this Emperor may be more lenient than QV2 when it comes to time spent not working. Won’t know for sure until I try, so I’ll introduce it tomorrow along with Chosen to see how it goes. If it’s not a good combination or not the right timing I’ll drop it and continue with Chosen as usual.

1 Like
#42

Dec 30:
I was busy all day so I had to wait until the evening to run Chosen + Emperor ZP. I feel calm and strong, but I’m sure there will be more to share after a few hours, once I have time to process. I will cover the effects of Emperor ZP in detail tomorrow.

Since the washout the effects have been more subtle, but definitely present. I am in a much better mood and feel energized all day. I consistently notice that I’m more present. I know because I often catch myself not knowing what time it is. This is very rare. I’m always very aware of time, what moment of the day it is, and what’s next. Nowadays I’m not so concerned with any of that. I essentially experience the present, without concern for what I’ve been doing that day or what I have ahead of me. I also have no clue what day of the week it is, although this is partly because I’m still on PTO.

#43

Oh, and one other thing, Chosen makes me horny af. I thought it was coincidental, but I noticed my libido going back to normal during the washout, only to spike again as soon as I got back on Chosen.

#44

Dec 31:
Emperor ZP is fantastic. It provides the exact same feelings of inner strength as the previous versions but without the outward intensity that puts others off.

I feel grounded, emotionally robust, confident, self sufficient, and independent. Compared to previous versions, I feel the drive just as much, but I don’t get bothered or anxious if I’m not working towards my goals. It makes me really happy just to think about going after them, though. This Emperor is more flexible and tolerant; much easier to live with. It offers a more sustainable experience and pairs exceptionally well with Chosen. No reconciliation whatsoever and I can feel both subs working.

Tomorrow I’ll start the year with another loop of each, since today is a rest day. More to follow.

Happy New Year, everyone!

3 Likes
#45

Jan 1:
I ran a loop of Chosen and Emperor ZP, and I am now confident that this is a great combination. They complement each other perfectly, and I have not experienced any reconciliation at all.

I am getting the sense that Chosen works its magic externally, whereas Emperor does it internally. Not exclusively, of course. Chosen provides a lot of inner positivity, but it has an even more substantial effect on how others respond to me. On the other side, Emperor also has a strong impact on people around me, but its most potent effect relates to how I see myself; it gives me inner strength, conviction, and self-sufficiency.

What I said yesterday about how Emperor ZP compares with previous versions made me think that this one probably relies heavily on positive reinforcement. In contrast, the previous version probably had some negative reinforcement as well. Of course, I have no information to support these claims. My opinion comes strictly from how I feel. Now I don’t get anxious if I’m not working, which was a problem with previous versions, even during weekends. Now I can’t wait to start working again, yet I don’t feel uneasy about being on holiday for another few days.

Regardless of the reason, I’m pleased about this change. It kept the positives and got rid of the negatives. This change makes it sustainable, and I see no end in running these two subs. The only addition I’d consider down the line would be HoM. Whether I decide to keep all three or just two of them will depend on the level of reconciliation I get if I get it at all.

8 Likes
#46

Jan 2:
An acquittance that may be a good source for business reached out last night to wish me a good start to the year. We got to talking, and I finally suggested that I do some work with his company.

He was very receptive and suggested that we schedule a call next week to discuss. When I asked when would it be a good time, he said: “I’m on vacation, but can make time for you whenever, bro.” His reply was unexpected. I’m not on “bro” terms with him. And even if I was, people are not so keen to do work during the holidays.

I don’t want to mess with his time off, so I’ll book something for us to talk about this when he returns to work at the end of next week. In any case, the situation looks promising.

What I’m most happy about and attribute to Chosen and Emperor is 1) that he came out of nowhere -no effort on my part, and 2) that I took the initiative and proposed doing consulting work for him.

Other than that, today I had a great day mood-wise, but I didn’t do much of anything, so little to share there.

3 Likes
#47

Jan 3:
I ran a loop of Chosen and Emperor a couple of hours ago, and less than a minute in, I experienced a powerful surge in confidence.

The rush in confidence gradually faded, but I feel my baseline is also higher. I’ve seen my confidence increase and maintain a high level throughout the day since I started back from the washout.

Another effect I’m noticing is that I raised my standards regarding what I feel I deserve.

An example of this is making mistakes. I feel I deserve to make mistakes and wrong decisions. Everybody is human and deserves to make mistakes; it is how we grow. We grow by stretching past the limits, taking chances, and sometimes, not succeeding.

I realize now that I have been playing it too safe. In my work, I’ve been focusing on excelling in my role, but without taking the risk of performing as if I was in the following position. Part of this is that I don’t want to step into anyone’s toes -I now see this as playing it too safe. Avoid being corrected about what my priorities and tasks should be, yet also limit my progress.

I feel freer to stretch past my comfort zone because I know it’s ok if I mess up. I see messing up as a sign of effort, more than something that defines my skills.

The above reminds me of when I played baseball as a shortstop. It was considered almost an offense -and something to be ashamed of- to finish practice with a clean uniform. Someone with a clean uniform indicated that he didn’t go headfirst to catch a grounder. He never stretched himself to that level.

What counts is putting all these thoughts into practice. Tomorrow I start back at work, and I can’t wait to make things happen.

4 Likes
#48

Jan 4:
First day back at work, and, as much as I was looking forward to starting, I felt much less interested than usual. Very distracted with a lot of procrastination.

That said, confidence was on point. I was very relaxed and calm in all situations.

Later in the day, I went to an AT&T store to fix something on my phone and ship back the old one. I don’t know for sure, but I’d swear the girl that helped me was showing a special kind of interest in me. She asked personal questions and was too nice, like offering a box and bubble wrap. Not sure if this is normal, but they didn’t provide that to my wife when she was there doing the same a couple of days ago, lol.

She was pretty, but I decided not to engage too much. I wonder if Chosen or Emperor triggered this situation. It was for sure not triggered by anything I did. I was not being particularly chatty or flirty, just keeping to myself. It’s funny how, after a while of running subs these results catch by surprise because you are not looking for them anymore.

Tomorrow I have my next call with the company I was interviewing. I also have to run subs tomorrow, so I’ll probably do it in the morning, just in case it helps with being in the right mindset, although I don’t think I need it.

#49

Jan 5:
The interview went well. I don’t think I’ve ever felt more relaxed and confident. I also felt like I connected with the interviewer at a deeper level than I usually would.

He told me that I’d hear back by the end of this week or the beginning of the next one. If I move forward, the entire process will take about 5 to 7 weeks. This timeframe is excellent timing because it allows me to see how things evolve at my company and receive my annual bonus.

Other than that, at work, things kept mainly going at the same pace. I keep noticing my confidence and my presence increasing, yet still not super driven to do actual work. I felt more respect from some colleagues and my boss in how they interacted with me in meetings.

Also, out of nowhere, I volunteered to take on an internal project my boss was discussing. He was talking about it and saying that he needs someone to run it when, without time to think, l said I could be the one to own it. It’s an exciting project, but it is very unlike me to volunteer for things like this; it is an effect from the subs for sure. Maybe I’m not driven to do work that doesn’t matter, but I am for things like this that are more likely to help me promote. Time will tell.

3 Likes
#50

Jan 6:
My confidence keeps rising. I also keep focusing more on the present, and I am less concerned about tomorrow or next week. I think this is contributing to being much happier in general.

I haven’t been putting as much effort at work. I have a bit less energy at the moment because my family got infected with COVID a couple of days ago, and I’m feeling a bit sluggish too. I’m vaccinated, so I probably won’t get any worse, but nights are pretty rough having to care for my sick kids.

I’m lucky because it’s a slow week at work anyway, so I can afford to coast a bit. I can’t wait to get better to push harder, though. I also want to get back to exercising consistently. It’s been a week since the last time, and my body is craving it.

1 Like
#51

You might want to consider giving Aegis Initiative Covid-19 a try.

3 Likes
#52

Good advice. I hadn’t thought about it

1 Like
#53

Jan. 7:
I’m finding myself regressing to past hobbies and interests. Things I used to do and enjoy when I was 16-26.

Just now, I was compelled to listen to an old rock album that I loved when I was 17. Also, I can’t stop thinking of changing my current motorcycle (a cruiser) for the current version of the motorcycle I had back when I was 25 (a sportsbike). And it’s not just thinking, I have already got my bike appraised by a couple buyers.

These triggered emotions give me a ton of energy. I feel younger, as if I was back to that age mentally and emotionally.

Not sure what could be raising these feelings; they don’t relate to Chosen and Emperor. At least not in an obvious way.

My guess is that accessing those past emotions could be a byproduct of the sub forging deep change in nearby areas of the mind.

#54

Jan 8:
COVID symptoms a bit worse today. Nothing major, just a hoarse voice and fatigue.

Today is a rest day and I don’t think I’ll be achieving much else than surviving the day in the sofa. I may try to read something. I’ve been craving reading and learning new things these past few days. Will try to use this period to do some of that since I’m not feeling like I could or should exercise right now. Of course, I can’t go anywhere outside of my house either so the options are limited. Fucking COVID…

#55

I felt like sharing a collection of random thoughts that may or may not have to do with the subs I’m running. Capturing this also for me to remember what kind of thinking these subs are promoting.

Today I was thinking about what I could be missing in my life. I realized I didn’t need to be happier. I’m already immensely happy. What I need is more fun.

I need excitement and stimulation. I have fun riding my motorcycle and putting it to the max. I have fun going out with friends and having a good laugh, telling stories, doing stupid shit, and making a mess. I have fun playing baseball, or competing in any sport. I have fun playing poker and going out partying and getting drunk. That’s fun.

If I want to do more of that I need to remember the difference between fun and entertaining. I do a lot of entertaining things already; that’s easier. Reading and watching movies is entertaining. What I need is pure fun and excitement. The kind I had fifteen years ago. I need that to come back.

In my work, I need to look for the kind of intellectual stimulation that I had as a kid when I played my chemistry set. I was moved by curiosity and had a lot of fun doing it. Pure fun, not just being entertained. I really enjoyed it. It was super exciting to mix things up not knowing what was going to come out of it. I never wanted to read the instructions because that spoiled the surprise, and thus, the fun. I was thrilled by the thought that I could invent something new. When I was a kid I wanted to be an inventor. A mad scientist. That’s what I always wanted to be.

Going after a more lucrative career took me off that path. Now it’s too late to make a change like that, but I could look for something within my work that would trigger those same feelings. Focusing on research is something that could accomplish that.

The interesting part would be investigating situations to a degree that I can extract completely new insights and create novel knowledge. I have to be the mad scientist of consulting. This would make my work much more rewarding and fun. And maybe it will be my path to recognition, selling more projects and ultimately a promotion.

2 Likes
#56

Jan. 9:
I’m starting to notice a sort of “Limitless” effect from Emperor. Not sure whether there is something relating to intelligence in the ZP script, but I feel it working.

I find myself craving knowledge and having ideas about how things could be improved. Very often these ideas start as a question. I tend to question everything nowadays.

#57

Are you getting bored with your consulting projects? Having consulting projects where you actually solve and troubleshoot problems as well as deliver insights with your intelligence is always satisfying to people of a certain personality type.

#58

Yes. Great observation. I had been too long on a project where I was running the PMO. As you sure know, that is not very intellectually stimulating. 90% of the time is divided between firefighting and asking others for input.

Things will change soon, though. I rolled off that project last Friday, so starting today I get to focus on business development. Biz Dev will give me a solid platform to develop something much more interesting and gratifying.

#59

Yea, being a project manager isn’t that fun if your sense of satisfaction comes from using your intellect to solve the client’s problem instead of firefighting and managing the project, which requires a different set of skills.

That’s a reason why I went into becoming an independent consultant as I don’t enjoy project management and I get more satisfaction out of carrying out specialized tasks that tap into my knowledge and expertise.

Having said that, while a downside of becoming an independent consultant is that I have to source my own business, a good thing is that I decide who I want to work with and what type of work I will do.

1 Like
#60

You probably feel like this because you have enough demand for your services, which is fantastic. While it’s true that you can choose what to focus on, you always need to ensure there is demand for what you do. If that ever goes missing, you can be forced to change direction. Not necessarily project management, though.

Project management (and more so running an actual PMO) sucks, but at my level, it’s unavoidable. I have to lead projects, ensure the client is happy with the solutions, and expand the business. Because of this, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to get into the weeds of a problem. Problem-solving is what I genuinely enjoy and why I became a consultant.

However, it takes guts to become an independent consultant. As you said, you have to source your own business. I also have to do this, but I can tap into company resources and leverage its market recognition vs. doing it all on my own. It’s not without risks, of course. If I don’t perform, I’ll be kicked out, but I feel safer in this situation (probably mistakenly).

1 Like