ZP Journal (CHOSEN SOLO) - Ichiban is going up the ladder

Journals - Major Programs
#60

You probably feel like this because you have enough demand for your services, which is fantastic. While it’s true that you can choose what to focus on, you always need to ensure there is demand for what you do. If that ever goes missing, you can be forced to change direction. Not necessarily project management, though.

Project management (and more so running an actual PMO) sucks, but at my level, it’s unavoidable. I have to lead projects, ensure the client is happy with the solutions, and expand the business. Because of this, I don’t have as much time as I’d like to get into the weeds of a problem. Problem-solving is what I genuinely enjoy and why I became a consultant.

However, it takes guts to become an independent consultant. As you said, you have to source your own business. I also have to do this, but I can tap into company resources and leverage its market recognition vs. doing it all on my own. It’s not without risks, of course. If I don’t perform, I’ll be kicked out, but I feel safer in this situation (probably mistakenly).

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#61

What does PMO mean in this context?

#62

Program Management Office. It’s the team that provides oversight, guidance and reporting to ensure objectives are met according to the signed SOW (Statement of Work)

#63

Cool. Thank you for elaborating.

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#64

@Seeker, do you have a journal? You’re helping many people in the forum, it would be interesting to hear about yourself and your progress also.

#65

Yes. I rarely update it.

#66

Okay, I’ll check it out :slight_smile:

#67

Jan 10:
My confidence has reached a point where I am no longer concerned about it. I know I can count on it.

Today, without prior notice, I was asked to give an overview of the status of my business development activities to a group of partners. I was able to confidently articulate what I had done, what I was working on at the moment, and what I expected to achieve by the end of next week.

Of course, this is not hard, but I noticed that I did it exceptionally well and without any prep whatsoever. I spoke confidently, without pause or hesitation. I can only imagine how much better my presentations will be when I prepare. This stack certainly promotes improved verbal fluency and confidence in presenting to others.

Besides that, my thirst for knowledge continues. I feel constantly compelled to read and learn. On the flip side, I get easily bored. I still do what needs to be done, but I keep looking for more exciting things to get involved with.

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#68

Jan 11:
Reading the recently posted objectives of Emperor ZP, I recognized many of the things I’m experiencing.

One that caught my attention is the manifestation of people and resources to help me achieve my goals. A few days ago, I came across a book that I’m finding quite interesting because it speaks about influence and cultivating meaningful relationships. This skill is precisely what I need for business development and, ultimately, my promotion.

Aside from that, things keep going well. I’m following the listening recommendations to a tee and having no signs of reconciliation or lack of results.

I passed to the next round of interviews at the consulting company I was in talks with. I asked to have the interview next week so that I have time to wrap up some work I need to do this week and hopefully recover from COVID.

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#69

Jan 12:
A passing feeling that I had been having since at least a few days ago is that Emperor ZP is overpowering Chosen in many instances.

When I ran Chosen by itself, I felt more connected and concerned about others. After almost two weeks of adding Emperor, I find myself thinking and feeling like I used to when I ran Emperor Q. I still don’t get upset if I’m not working all the time, but I feel much more intense, cold, and intimidating than when I ran Chosen by itself.

I noticed my boss reacting differently to me as well. Maybe all of this is just in my head, but I’d swear he is colder and less engaging in his interactions with me. The same happened with Emperor Q. Not a good thing.

As much as I like the effects of Emperor, I wonder if it’d be better to run it less than Chosen. I want to bring back more of the “connectedness” I felt with Chosen.

There is no official listening pattern for this, but I’m considering that, instead of running a loop of each every other day, I do:

  • Day 1: Chosen x2
  • Day 2: Rest
  • Day 3: Chosen and Emperor
  • Day 4: Rest
  • Repeat

I’ll probably wait for this second 21-day period to end before changing anything, but this is what I think I’ll do. Either this or replacing Emperor with Wanted, since I’m still curious about the benefits that could potentially apply to my career goals.

#70

I’ve been running Emperor since the release date, and I’ve been feeling more and more confident, and more and more positive, day by day.

I also used to experience the coldness back in the day.
In this version it’s literally non-existent.

Couldn’t this be just recon? I admit, I did have a few “low mood” recon days … but it quickly faded away within the same day …

#71

I don’t think it’s recon. I recognize recon very easily because I become irritable. Also, I’ve been following the listening recommendations so there hasn’t been overexposure.

It may be just how I respond to Emperor. I’m happy and confident as well, but I feel like I’m projecting this intense “vibe” that may put some people off. Nothing extreme, but I miss the level of closeness and connection that I had with others when I ran Chosen by itself. Emperor is overpowering some of these effects, at least for me.

#72

Based on what I’ve read, I wouldn’t be surprised.

#73

Not tracking…what do you mean?

#74

I’m referring to Emperor being known to make people “anti-social” unlike Chosen.

#75

Oh, yeah, I read that before too.

I wouldn’t go as far as saying that it makes me anti-social, but definitely less willing to waste time in social interaction unless it serves a purpose.

Chosen is quite the opposite, it drives me to engage and connect with others. Not from a place of wanting to have fun (like Daredevil does), but out of genuinely caring for others.

Now that I write this, I realize how messed up this is. It’s shocking how a sub can have such an impact on what you care about. Powerful stuff.

#76

Jan 13:
I decided to switch things around to reduce the effect of Emperor relative to Chosen.

Today, instead of running one loop of each, I focused on Chosen. However, I thought it’d be a good idea to try Chosen from Within, particularly to access some of the healing benefits incorporated from Regen.

Right away, I noticed a profound sense of calm. I was also highly focused. It felt like being in the zone, plus relaxed.

Towards the end of the first loop, I felt tightness in my jaw. It was not too unpleasant but very noticeable. That went away a few minutes after, while I was already on my second loop.

I will report later if there is anything else worth mentioning, but the first impression is excellent.

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New Disc. Thread - Chosen From Within ZP Experimental
#77

Jan 14:
I’m feeling very balanced. On the one hand, I recovered the joy of connecting with others and feel my team is much kinder and appreciates anything I do or have done. On the other hand, I feel no pressure to move at anyone’s pace or respond to requests as soon as possible.

I behave in a very independent way yet feel connected to others and very comfortable during personal interactions.

I’m recovering the feeling of living in the present, moment to moment, and not concerned about what comes next. I have this sense of confidence and detachment whereby I know I can cope with anything, so I’m not worried about the future.

Based on these results, I think I’ll keep running CFW instead of regular Chosen. Tomorrow I’ll run a loop of CFW and EPZ. I want to keep Emperor in my stack, although I’ll only allocate 25% of the time to it.

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#78

Jan 15:
I was busy all day out of the house with the family, so I had to wait until late in the evening to run the subs.

I was walking the dogs at the time, and I noticed that my posture and overall mood changed as I started running Emperor. I immediately stood taller and was more purposeful in my steps. I felt “ready for action,” even though I was walking the dogs by myself and no one was around.

Then came CFW, and a moment of introspection appeared out of nowhere. I asked myself if I’d be happier with a simpler job. I remembered reading an article about executives that left that life behind in favor of blue-collar occupations. To them, this was the best decision ever. Less stress, more time to do the things they loved, slept better, etc. I started wondering if I could or should do that.

After some thinking, the answer was no. I realized that I’m so competitive that I’d make any job a living hell for myself. I always try to do my best and stand out. I’m not comfortable with people thinking I can’t do this or that.

At least for most things. There are very few exceptions where I am bad at something and have no problem being upfront about it. Soccer is one of those things. I’m a Spaniard, so you’d imagine I like soccer and play well. Nothing further from the truth. I don’t particularly enjoy it, and I am the most unskilled player you’d ever find.

I wonder why I feel comfortable being unskilled at something like soccer, yet not at many other areas that have no bearing in defining my worth as an individual. And to what extent do I feel uncomfortable because of what others think vs. what I think.

I still can’t answer these questions, but I know what I’d like to think. I want to believe that I’m comfortable being a horrible soccer player because I’m otherwise great at sports, so this is an exception which I don’t particularly care about. There may be others I don’t even consider. Also, of course, I’d like to think that I’m uncomfortable because of what I think vs. what others think. But the reality is that I care about both. I admire people that genuinely don’t give a shit about what others think. I’m not there yet.

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#79

Jan 16:
I have been way too relaxed regarding what I eat and gained a few pounds over the last two weeks.

I feel bad about it because it happened very fast, but the reality is that I do look better with a bit more meat on the bone. I’m starting to think the subs may have something to do with this.

Some people report losing weight, but I wonder if it’s not about losing or gaining but achieving the body that best fits your ideal. I’m saying this because I felt like I should gain weight for the past few months.

I have also been thinking more about doing weights vs. mainly cardio. I had been training for a triathlon, so cardio, stretching, and core exercises were all I had been doing. Now I should get back to lifting weights.

Other than that, I didn’t start the day off too well. A prospective client, who suggested we talk this morning, stood me up. I called at the agreed time (even though I was not pleased with working on a Sunday), and he didn’t pick up or respond to my follow-up text. People can be highly unreliable, and I think it has only worsened with the Pandemic.

Now I have to think about how to respond if he ever replies. On the one hand, I need to sell, so I should not make a big deal out of this. On the other hand, what kind of relationship would I promote if I acted as nothing happened. How can I ever trust this guy to show up? Next time it could happen with my boss on the call, too, so it is just not my time he is wasting. It’s not professional, and I don’t want to work with people like that.

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