Love Bomb + Ascension
With me approaching women at shops/shopping malls works very well and increases my confidence.
I also like banter a lot, but I’ve not been in the mood lately.
But if only approach strangers I will not be approaching the ones I see regularly (and the ones I have chances with), so does it work by only approaching strangers? If yes, how does it work? By “does it work?” I mean: will the women I see regularly feel more attracted to me by only approaching strangers most of the times?
I will follow the advice, but remember I’m not in a normal gym, I’m in a CrossFit box, where everyone is part of a community, and most people become close.
If you buy your bed before you have your bedroom
your toilet before you have your bathroom
or your desk before you have your right job or an office
Not only will you
-
Probably not be able to use it and maintain it as you’d like to do, but also
-
There’s a good chance you’ll get the wrong one
To avoid the above, rather than focusing on ‘getting a woman’, instead focus on
- Getting better at interacting and communicating with people in general
and
- Developing a lifestyle and a You that you feel great about
Your relationships and romances are symptoms and side-effects of the lifestyle and the You that you currently are.
You don’t have to trick a bee into flying into a garden. Bees like gardens and are attracted to them.
That doesn’t mean ‘Do nothing’; it means build the garden and fix it up how you want it.
Healthy garden, healthy bees.
Nasty garden, nasty bugs.
For this part:
Getting better at interacting and communicating with people in general
That means learning and growing as you have individual and shared experiences in which you:
- Get better at having fun
- Get better at expressing your desires
- Get better at being vulnerable and communicating about vulnerability
- Get better at having difficult but necessary conversations about things you’d rather not talk about/Get better at working through challenges
Funny part is, life will throw those learning opportunities to you. If you recognize them as the true road to a great life, you’ll embrace them; sometimes even with enthusiastic gratitude. If you don’t, you’ll just complain about life’s unfairness.
If you can be someone who is excited, involved, and invested in living the adventure of his own life, and who genuinely enjoys (at least some) people, your problem will not be getting women, it will be keeping the wrong ones away from you.
Disagree I have had success approaching women who showed no interest in me initially but after a few mins really warmed upto me after begining a chat with them.
If your gonna wait till a woman shows interest in you. Your gonna be waiting for a long time
Y’all got it, lol.
I’ve been analysing your answer more deeply and these are my conclusions:
For 1. I’m already good on all those sub points.
1.1. Get better at having fun
I presume you mean having fun alone. I would like to understand this theory of the do everything by yourself and don’t need nothing nor anyone for anything.
Well I can have some fun alone and some things to do to have fun alone, but not many things. And when you’re alone most of the day, most of the days, this becomes particularly difficult.
And when you start not having fun, you start not attracting others, and then you have less fun, and a cycle is created.
I’ve been depressed in my life in some situations in the past, and I attracted friends. Actually I attracted my ex girlfriend when I was depressed, before I even knew that subs existed. Before using subs from Subliminal Club, when I would be confident women would get away (now it doesn’t happen anymore).
. 2. I’m taking action working on getting my next job and organizing my life to go abroad. After I get that job, then I will have a lifestyle I’m happy with.
It still will take some months, so what you’re saying is that I will still feel depressed, lonely, and that I can’t attract any new friends, until I reach this goal.
Sorry, but that as to be a faster way. I’m happy with who I am. Just because I’m not working at the moment, because I’m organizing my personal life, to prepare my self properly, does that mean that I’m not successful? Does that mean I don’t enjoy what I’ve achieved so far?
Of course not!
Of course I would like to be already working because I’m working on my recovery from illness for about 2.5 years now, and sometimes I feel frustrated and impatient, but damn, I’m a confident guy, I bring good energy and a good vibe to the places where I go more often (normally to the gym - a social gym), so that has to be something else.
In the past I’ve been in situations similar or worse to the current situation, I didn’t know about subs, and at least I had some friends. Women have always been a problem (expect for 1 time in my life). But during the past 2 years, I became an attractive and good looking guy. And I’m confident, and I have sense of humour, etc. I should be attracting at least some women IMHO.
When I go to shops and approach women, I get lots of smiles. They like me. They feel attracted to me. The problem is at the gym (a social gym), where they already know the previous version of me, which was confident, resilient, aggressive, etc, but not respected. This previous version would fight for respect from people, but due to the previous vendor not properly done subs, I would never get respected, even if I would try to understand people or fight them.
I’m understanding people better and I’m getting more respected at the gym, it’s just that it’s taking too much time, and just for some small results, but I’ll have to have patience. But in the past I have been in worse situations than this, I was not good looking, I was not attractive, I was not respected (but I was confident), and I had many friends, and few of them were attractive women. Why I’m not making friends like that or even better friends, now that I’m a much better version than the version I was in those past life situations?
And to add to it, now I have subs to increase my confidence with people in general and with women. I can see your point, but it doesn’t make sense to me not attracting anyone at this stage, nor to have any local friends of my age group.
I’m also not expecting that you guys can figure out what is going on when I can’t figure it out, because you can’t see all the context around me, but making these analysis and introspections help, and someone might come with a good idea.
Not at all.
I mean get better at allowing yourself to have fun in general. It’s amazing to think about, but that’s actually a skill and a capacity that can be improved through practice and through applying appropriate principles to it.
All four of those suggested points:
are actually about communication and interaction. Just different aspects of communication and interaction.
It’s a mixture of what you do alone, what you do together, and how you pay attention to what other people are doing.
When you remove all of the bells and whistles (for example, the sexiness and flirtation, the joke telling, the competition, the impressive gestures, the fancy dress and fashion, the fights and hard emotions, and so on), relationships are just people communicating with each other. That’s it.
If you truly enjoy communicating and develop competence in it, you will not be alone very long.
The truth is that we don’t always enjoy it as much as we tell ourselves we do.
Being open and honest with ourselves about what we actually like and dislike (not just what we’re ‘supposed to’ like and dislike) can dismantle some of the mind-games and make it easier to get through some of these things.
But there will still always be tricky bits.
This
Also about slow results.
When you have an old house and want to renovate it, you have to gut it.
Remove the furniture, tear down the wallpapers, remove the flooring, tear open the walls to remove the old wires and piping before you can start renewing everything. Only then you can start replastering the walls, lay the new floors, paint walls, install new lamps etc.
If did it with a friend a few years ago. We turned an old bur still somewhat comfortable house into a shell. It was ugly as can be.
But this was the condition that the house could become as beautiful as it is now.
With subs it’s a similar process. Sometimes it first takes away what seems to function but hinders us from getting the results we want.
Perhaps your old confidence and means to connect with people worked but where based on trauma and hurt feelings. So to become truly confident and able to connect with people, your subconscious unlearns this old behaviors and now your in between. Like when we removed the old wires and piping.
Once that’s done, you can build true confidence on a solid base, than you can learn how to truly connect with people that like the authentic expression of your true self.
This phrase amplifies my hope and my dreams
If there would be no emotions involved (this cannot be 100% true, as there are always emotions involved, otherwise you wouldn’t feel any drive to communicate nor to do anything), I truly enjoy communicating to share knowledge and learn. Of course to do this you need knowledgable people.
But because there are emotions involved, it makes things much more interesting and fun with everyone.