I’ve noticed some of guys do this towards to girls very quick. For example, my friend is having a hard time releasing a girl he dated two times after she told they had different views and hence they couldn’t be together. Why is that? Does it come from his low self-esteem or low self-love? To be honest, I had similar problem in the past, but due to SubClub I healed, but still I can’t figure why I was that.
I said to him he might be lack for self-love. I also supposed he might “fall in love” in his own vision of the girl which is purely his fantasy but not true personality of the girl.
What would you tell him in his situation? In frames of SubClub products, what title would you recommend him to run? Regeneration + The Elixir and/or LBFH?
2 Likes
It’s called oneitis and it happens when we put women on a pedestal. The right thing to do is to have a mental point of origin of ourselves and our purpose in life being the most important thing above women. This will help put women in the right perspective.
Another reason is lack of abundance mentality. If you have more choice of women to date, oneitis will disappear. This is why it is a good thing to non-exclusively date 2 or 3 girls at a time in our younger years and not commit to any at that time (20’ to 30’s). Helps us focus on our money goals and also helps us understand women.
For a man it is better to commit when one is around 35 to a woman between 25 to 28. IF he wants to commit. By that time he is a bit more successful and she is still able to bear children.
Those titles will work. I would personally recommend Primal + Heartsong.
4 Likes
Yup to @Lion
Also, I’d say rather than ask ‘Why does he have the quick emotional attachment?’, I suggest to ask, ‘How does he create this quick emotional attachment?’
The first question often just results in useless blame and theorizing. The point is to be able to change it.
This pattern does not just apply to women. It applies to any need.
We have lots of needs: approval, connection, happiness, creative stimulation, freedom, achievement, power, resources, food, and so on.
We can get obsessively attached to or fixated on any of our needs.
Usually it happens 1) when we are not getting it met very often, and 2) when we are not confident about being able to get the need met when we wish to do so.
Under those conditions, it’s easy for us to become needy, desperate, insecure, and easily fixated. If we find even one source that seems to give us the chance to finally meet the need, we reach for it like a drowning person reaching for a lifesaver.
(We should also remember that the opposite conditions can create different but equally problematic patterns within us. When all of our needs are constantly indulged without any effort on our part, we often become spoiled, entitled, arrogant, and ultimately bored, depressed, and lacking in purpose. The goal is to find, on average, a sweet spot of balance: we feel powerful and able to get our needs and desires met, but we also appreciate the work and challenge of getting them met.)
I agree with @Lion.
Particularly in the early stages of sex and love, a woman’s approval can seem to powerfully meet our needs and desires for love, approval, status, and wellbeing (among other needs). There’s also that need to be heard and understood by someone that can sometimes be met.
So the strategies come down to working out numerous, ample ways to address your needs.
- Dating and talking to different women
- Identifying what in life you really care about and investing in it
- Having fun in numerous ways
- Diversifying your achievement activities and contexts
Blah blah blah. It goes on and on. haha.
Another Stoic point is that once you’ve admitted that you have a need, you can relate to it a little more gracefully and intentionally. An unacknowledged need is a slave-driver. An acknowledged need is more like a demanding boss or manager.
On the other hand, some people prefer to deny that they have any needs at all, since that can be a decent (short-term) strategy for managing needs. So, if that describes you, then just ignore everything above this paragraph. (Although, if that describes you, you’ve probably already ignored it anyway. 
)
5 Likes
There’s also a lot of natural hormone and evolution help from our biology too with secretions of female copulins and other things during sex which can increase bonding emotions.
2 Likes
Yep. And also probably being a simp.
1 Like
hahahah. then there’s another question: why are guys simps?
1 Like
Low self esteem and no skills which leads to desperation. Why else would some dudes worship women like they have no value of their own? A girl drops you? Build your skills, learn some game and go get another one.
1 Like
Low self esteem imo
1 Like
Mainly just low self esteem, and as said above no skills, and nothing to bring to the table, and having no value as a person and being a yes man A.K.A. a simp. I speak from experience cause this was me.
After 7 months of subs and about to start a small business with a colleague from school I can care less about dating right now. Ironically women are friendlier towards me now, flirt with me more, and respect me more now
I will say sub wise on what has helped me the most was this behavior directly is WANTED and LBFH
Long ago I used to fall into that trap; in my mind every cute girl I was into just happened to have the same interests, points of view, etc as me… or at least, not counter to them. 
And, of course, the stronger the physical attraction, the more “perfect” she was… in my mind at least.
It took having a train wreck of an “it’s complicated” with a girl who was so unlike my mental vision of her to snap me out of that foolish way of thinking. I certainly hope it wouldn’t take such a drastic mental wakeup call for anyone else.
I’m still not 100% sure what my exact cause of it was, but I’m sure my relatively sparse dating history contributed greatly. lol.
2 Likes
You are from middle eastern country and usually there is not a lot of girls to have a relationship out of marriage due to religious and cultural reasons (unless you are Invictus and live in quatar and other open minded middle eastern cities ) . So at the moment you find a girl and you have a way to talk to her , this is the best option and I don’t see this as a quick emotional attachment . Your environment affects you infinitely compared to subs. Nothing wrong with your friend .
1 Like
I would like to add that it is mostly young guys who have this attachment. Older guys would too if they have been with only a few women over long periods of time.
This is why dating a bit more is necessary as a man to not give too much importance to one woman.
Women have loads of men coming to them. But men have to work to get women. Which makes it even more important for men to master dating. And that takes some practice.
1 Like
I didn’t want a reference to a group of people being considered sneaky.