Villain: Monk Mode

Journals - Major Programs
#1

Jesus…

I haven’t done this in a while.
Felt like I needed to be back and with some accountability, hopefully.

The title really gives off everything is this journal will be.
I’ll keep it updated as much as possible and starting a fresh.

The reason for creating the journal, besides the accountability, is because I need to take action. Due to my ADHD I’ve felt absolutely paralysed in taking action, whether it’s for things I want or don’t want to do. It ends up with endless dopamine chases of scrolling TikTok, playing CoD, watching TV and repeat. Nothing gets done and feeling exhausted throughout.

Really want to focus on working out as well as work and just getting stuff done.

Obviously going to be using Emperor Black, need to get as much done as possible.
I thought about Emperor Executive but I really need the ass kicking it gave me before (which is why I stopped it previously) where it tells me to stop playing COD.

Haven’t started my first loop yet, not even sure whether it should be 30 seconds to however long…
I definitely haven’t done this in a while (even though I’ve been checking over the forum frequently, just not talking).

Anyway, welcoming myself back.

Will update as much as possible.

13 Likes
#2

Big welcome back, Brandon! All the best!

7 Likes
#3

I concur. Welcome back.

4 Likes
#4

Welcome back.

3 Likes
#5

Thanks guys, appreciate the love. Happy to be back.

Hope all is well!

3 Likes
#6

Welp, remind me not to do my loops before/during sleep.
Did it just before a nap and I couldn’t stop thinking about the work I needed to do.

Feel like it definitely woke me up earlier than planned because I couldn’t stop thinking about everything.
Anyhow, I’m awake and already started to work.

I’ve already passed the piece of work that was stressing me out yesterday.
The issue is that whenever I start a task normally - it isn’t just a whole task.
My brain sees everything broken down and it goes
“Hey, we can’t do this until we’ve started this, and we can’t do that until we’ve started that”

Very very overwhelming. Nothing ends up getting done and that’s what happened yesterday.
However, already completed two of the tasks I needed to do. Proud of myself already.

I’ve still got a bunch more to do and I want to get it done tonight now whilst I’m on a roll.
CoD is definitely calling however, so I think I’ll get more work done first and then celebrate with some cod.

I already feel different.
Even though it was only a 3 minute loop.

3 Likes
#7

Damn, definitely got over my hump of getting work done.
Even started doing it whilst watching tv which is helping my brain for some reason.

I’m not feeling the same effect of Black that I did before, yet, where it told me off
if I was doing something I should be, such as playing cod, but it is making
me think about work a lot. This is great for me.

The fact I’m getting stuff done, even if feeling a little bit overwhelmed is a game changer.

I want to be very open and transparent about it because even tiny things for me
can cause so much overwhelm. something might be so simple but I get so paralysed
by the thought of it or projects and it really stresses me out.

Today hasn’t been the case. I’ve been working on project and whilst stressful (this is my mini break),
I’m still getting it done. Definitely owe myself a nap later though since I haven’t slept properly.
I also have class, going to a new one I’ve never been before and dance is still something
I take incredibly seriously.

Talking about dance I want Emperor Black to help me with that too. Both in my own skills
as well as classes.

For me, knowing Emperor Black should only be used for short periods of time is amazing.
Love knowing I’ll get a short break after a month or two, but I do need this right now.

Open question to anyone reading, should I up my next loop to 5 minutes, or keep it at 3?
When I played Emperor Black before I was doing the full loop. Can report 0 recon currently.

1 Like
#8

It’s been awhile since you last ran Emperor Black, so you could probably make it through the loop in a shorter amount of time, but you still need to follow the microloop strategy. If there’s no recon at 3, you could definitely move to 5 minutes, but I wouldn’t do something like a jump from 5 minutes to 15.

2 Likes
#9

For sure, was definitely thinking 5 would be my next bet and see how it goes with that. Most definitely not ready for 15.

Thanks for the support :raised_hands:t3:

2 Likes
#10

Currently getting my second loop in (didn’t do it yesterday).

Yesterday was absolutely a dopamine chasing day for me. No work was done. Found it interesting as a test as I’ve had nearly 3 days off a single 3 minute loop. I did my loop on the 8th around 4/6pm my time, it’s now the 11th at 12:32pm.

I worked for the day I did the loop, after my nap, and also worked the day after the loop. Both were incredibly focused even if I had things going on during it.

I’ve just finished my 2nd loop at 5 minutes and even though a couple minutes ago I didn’t want to do work it’s now something I want to do. The change is instant if I allow it to be.

Let’s see how the 5 minute loop affects me.

1 Like
#11

So, honestly I was super busy yesterday, and the day before whilst I got work done I just feel off using Emperor Black.

Before I decided to use Emperor Black I was looking at Emperor Executive, specifically because of the ADHD stuff mentioned.

I’ll be honest and say that I decided to use Executive today because I just wasn’t seeing what I wanted from Black (yet), and what can I say, Executive has done the job (most likely, I’m assuming it’s lighter? and has less to focus on). Currently working and have been the last hour and actually don’t want to stop even though I have to go out. An hour might not be a long time for work, but it’s better than me getting overwhelmed and doing nothing, or even dopamine chasing.

So, honestly I probably picked the wrong product to start with so I’m probably gonna drop Black as it Executive seems to do exactly what I need it to do.

I did a 5 minute loop of Executive and I’m already in the focus I need, even if I’m dipped into other things too.

I’m going to continue the 21 day pattern but with Executive instead. I’m sure a time will come where I actually need Black, which is probably when I’m made the habit easier to actually execute.

I know this also probably sounds like recon however I’m not jumping onto it because of a shiny thing or because I feel like I have recon (I haven’t noticed any recon effects), I just genuinely feel I made a mistake picking the program that I need rather than want.

As of right now, Executive is doing the job perfectly after a single loop. I feel driven AND I’m executing it.