I haven’t used AC for almost a month.
Honestly, I can’t tell the difference.
Maybe it has seeped deeply into me that everything in it has become second nature? I did use it for 2+ years total after all.
There’s no dip in the manifestations either.
I’ll continue the break from AC to see what will change
I finally understood it.
The most impactful change i’ve had from 2 years of using SC.
When I look back at it, it’s pretty clear:
Selflessness.
This might be the biggest realization i’ve had so far, second only to when i learned how to just observe.
The more the sub draws me to be more selfless, the more it seems to bring the most improvement.
It’s clear now that i looked back at my favorite subs that are not “boosters”, LBFH & HeO. Both are about selflessness. They are also subs that i can stick to the easiest.
The more i become selfless, the easier i can pursue my selfish goals. As contradictory as it is, it seems like 1 theme that holds true even throughout all this time.
This explains a lot.
I think it is balancing my selfishness.
All i did was for myself, but the subs showed me the value of selflessness, which in turn gives me more capacity to pursue even more selfish goals.
Selfishness through selflessness.
Either through healthy attachment that LBFH showed me, or the adherence to the virtues & mastery from HeO.
I believe this is what i actually need to learn from subs, not necessarily the love & virtue, but the selflessness behind them.
This is why i seemed to lose grasp of HeO’s effects when i took a break from it.
This is why i felt like i’m done with LBFH’s goals after a year of using it.
I failed to comprehend the essence behind what drives me to adhere to the virtues, but i managed to subconsciously understood it with LBFH.
It is what i need and what i unknowingly crave for all this time.
Isn’t the manifestation too strong?
What led me to this realization was just as absurd.
But it took me more than 2 years to come to this, so maybe this one is a late bloomer instead, lol.
Now that I read this again, isn’t this what I’ve been saying for the past 2 years?
Yet I wasn’t aware of it.
It’s the depth of the knowledge, sometimes i can’t put it into words.
Or more like, words can’t really convey what it is.
Well, isn’t that also what I said about the fulfilment from the virtues?
It’s something that I can’t put into words, and even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to convey the understanding behind it.
It’s not about mastering everything.
It’s about mastering the essence of everything.
Presumptuous much, but i think there’s something to this.
Actually, I’ve been pretty scared to branch out.
I lack time to go deep even into those i’m currently focusing on.
But what if i cut out the extraneous stuff, focus on the important parts, and find ways to grow them in a way that will allow me to pursue other things.
In other words, it’s a gamble on ROI.
More than what i was willing to do/was aware of its possibility.
This seems pretty basic, but the simple & basic stuff are always the hardest to get right.
I don’t have the appetite to listen to subs.
Not that I don’t want to, but I feel like more is not necessary.
Everything works just as usual anyway, I got great outcomes in fact.
Strange, this is the only time I’ve ever gotten the intuition to add a rest days in between listening days.
Well, it’s working out well so far. It’s just as strong as usual, so there’s no need to revert to once every other day yet.
Listening to this little to the sub while still reaping the full benefits, it just shows how strong SC’s subs are. Well, I did listen to HeO for more than a year, so that’s to be expected, i guess.
I went and did it.
I thought I was just taking an extra rest day, turned out i’m on the 4th day now…
Well that’s essentially just another washout.
I don’t mind this pace though. Even if it ends up being weaker, so what.
I’m already satisfied with what I got from HeO & DRR right now.
I’ve been using 2-4 rest days in between listening days this cycle. Both because my intuition told me to and i forgot to listen, lol.
The results are similar to usual.
If anything, i find it more pleasant to use.
I’m becoming more aware that i’m sensitive to injustice.
I tend to overreact when I receive one and I tend to be moved easily when I see one.
It’s as if my survival depends on it. Weird, but i’ve just become more aware of this.
Among many things, this explains why LBFH worked so well for me.
It was helping me directly & indirectly with this.
Being able to shift my perspectives from survival to kindness & understanding helps me tremendously.
I didn’t think this was that bad of a condition, the are benefits too despite of the disadvantages, so I just left it alone. But now i realize what to do.
For starter, I need to gain more control of it instead of trying to “fix” it out of my being. Understanding more about myself & others will be crucial for this.
Is this what DRR2 is leading me towards? Is it because i stack it with HeO? I’m glad i ran LBFH first though.
HeO 15m DRR2 45s
I don’t get recon from DRR2 with this short playtime anymore, but there’s no reason to rush either.
I’ll continue using +5s every listening day. No need to repeat my mistake of jumping ahead too quickly.
This stack is working well.
HeO + DRR.
Too well that I’m starting to lose interest in adding more & making customs.
It’s condensed enough to hit everything i want while still leaving 1 slot to use as a free space for emergency/extra desires.
Well, let’s see how it holds up after HLB is released, lol.
I forgot to stop DRR2…
This is gonna bite me in the ass.
Well, here goes nothing.
Update 1:
I got no recon the whole day. Not even a slight one.
Have i finally beaten the recon from DRR2 after more than half a year?
Well, I can’t confirm it yet. I need to observe more.
If it is truly done, i’m gonna go to stage 3 next month.
Update 2:
It’s a full day after I listened to 15m, no recon.
I guess it’s really over this time.
I’ll use a microloop tomorrow then 15m again.
I haven’t touched AC in 2 months. Nothing different.
I guess I’ll just drop it entirely. More doesn’t always mean better anyway.
Still no recon at all from DRR2.
Am I finally done with stage 2?
If i look at the new insights & perspectives i’ve acquired. I think it is actually done.
Now that it’s clear, i can roughly guess what caused the recon. The recon was washed away as it was solved.
I didn’t get any recon with DRR1, and i always mention it as a holistic sub.
Now that it has worked with DRR2, i can understand how useful the broad approach is for healing.
Update 1:
Here it comes.
Finally, after 2 days I could trace a bit of recon from DRR2.
But it’s significantly smaller than the usual.
It’s progressing well, but I won’t risk it. back to microloops.
Wow what the fuck was that dream.
It started as the usual nightmarish recon induced dream.
But then it slowly became real, it’s as if i was living in another reality… as an intelligent black cat working in a company.
It’s like a movie, the story is solid, character development is on point. Unlike normal dreams, i can remember everything clearly.
The exploits i did, the way i charmed my way up etc i remember them.
Anyway, wtf DRR2. I’ve never got a sub dream like this.
Also that made me sleep for 12 hours somehow, i’m fucked but i think it was well worth the experience. Who would reject playing a game where it’s as if your consciousness was transported into another world anyway.
What a strange dream. I like it.
Lol bro i also i had a similar a realistic nightmare dream last night as well,been thinking about it all day
Now that I think about it, the dream was about finding out my worth outside of the norm & using my mechanical and engineering masteries to break out of the ranks and provide value to those who seemed unreachable with who I was in the dream.
I wonder, is this a presult/pre-calling from HLB?
I fully intended to halt the plan of using it until next year though.
I still need to learn some stuff from HeO after all.
When dreams become coherent, as in they follow a very particular “plot line,” (in my experience) this means that whatever is changing within you has already occurred and you simply have to recognize whatever it is. The incoherent dreams are the ones where things are being processed. Coherence indicates completion, with this “final processing” being the seal.
It does feel like that.
It also coincides with the significant decrease in DRR2’s recon after more than half a year.
As the theme of the dream suggests, also with the new insight about LBFH & HeO I wrote a few days ago.
It’s as if things are finally gathering together into a clear path.
I’ll take this dream as a sign that there’s a good chance things are indeed going in that direction then.
Well, there goes my whole stack.
There goes my plan to make a custom too since most of the goals i want to achieve with modules are in HLB.
Though, as i wrote there, i need to use HeO a bit more, and i may as well finish DRR before i make the switch.
HLB is an all in one package for all my needs.
I’ll use every single stage in my stack in rotation.
4 months on, 1-2 months break each. So the stack always has 3 subs, though rotated every cycle or two.
Update 1:
I’ve updated the plan
Before that, I’ll use DRR3 for 3 months in a 2 sub stack & DRR4 for 3 months in a 2 sub stack + 2 months in a 3 sub stack. HeO for 8 months straight (including this month) until it gets replaced.
I’d ideally want to ease a bit more into DRR3, but delaying HLB for 6 months is already an optimistic plan to begin with. One day I might “accidentally” buy the sub and “accidentally” play it all for 15 minutes each after all, rofl.
I’ve been using DRR for a year anyway; it’s already longer than necessary.
Good enough for me.
That’s Paragon out of the stack.
5 more days until 1 year of DRR.
I checked the history again, I started on the 21st last year.
I’m glad I’ve finally made significant progress with DRR2, that took way too long, but I also did it slowly.
Planning.
My priorities are in the opposite direction.
I’ve been working on the first topic for years.
If everything goes downhill, as it has happened before, the only thing I can trust to still remain is my own ability to take care of myself. I’m also using HeO, so I have recovery scripting in the stack already. The extra boost in health is nice, but it’s not at the top of my priority list of things to improve using subs.
I’m also running DRR right now, so the second one is secondary when I make the change from HeO + DRR4 to HLB.
The third & fourth ones intrigue me the most, these are what I’m trying to fill in with LE. But I’m currently focusing on productivity first before cognitive enhancement.
So my plan is to add the 4th > 3rd > 2nd > 1st.
1 row = 1 month.
It makes sense for when I’ll switch my stack later, but I’m not sure whether following this will be a good idea or not further down the line. I think it shouldn’t be a big deal in the long run since I’ll be getting the same amount of exposure over time either way.
Alternatively, I could do this too if necessary.
Maybe 2 years from now instead of next year like in the image.
This plan looks optimistic. I fully intend to stick to it though.
HLB fits everything I’m trying to achieve with my stack and more anyway.
But as an extra guarantee, I’ll delete every other sub files except for HeO & DRR so I won’t be as easily tempted to switch in the meanwhile. I might use the new LE somewhere along the line though.