Venusian Delight

Journals - Major Programs
#22

(( rest period ))

Yeah… Went to the therapy and I’m feeling way better now.
Core Energetics offers a place where relationship between therapist and client feels more real.

I ended up talking about several things I’ve been facing which brought up my inner child’s pain very intensely. He offered his support, his lap and that was so good and deep for healing.
I’m better than before.

Oh, I forgot to mention—I bought a new mattress, and it’s super comfortable.
It came in a square box, and it’s amazing, very confortable haha.
Art Of Happiness shining.

#23

((( NEW CYCLE! )))

(( EoG + Genesis ))

Wooow. Just had an incredible experience this weekend.

We performed at CCBB, a cultural place of the city, more elitist (?)
And I can definitely say that all these subs are making me more influential in places full of people.

I love what I do. I bring together two sides of my life that I love—art and spirituality, dancing and acting, channeling another being— and I truly creating magic.
I really felt the worth of my art and the value of me as an artist.

Also a good moment going home. In the bus crew, everyone was happy, singing, and jumping around me as we headed home.
And there I was, lying on the bus seat, watching them in front of me, knowing that AoH was present in that moment.

Choices we keep making, right?
I believe that using subs consciously is an act of faith. It’s about consciously training ourselves to stay on a path in this life, while being incarnated.

And that’s when Alchemist: Singularity appears to me… I couldn’t believe when I read the description.
G, when I’m ready and financially stable, I’m definitely going down that path.

#25

guaiá
guaiá1080×1468 287 KB

that’s me as Guaiá, the maned wolf, this weekend

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#26

(( EoG + PR ))

I confess that EoG is one of the titles I fear the most when it comes to recon, but at this point in my life, the only option I see is to fully surrender to it, body and soul.

I accidentally listened to 2 minutes when I actually wanted to start small to avoid huge recon but I got distracted while listening.

Well, yesterday was a day of accessing some deep emotions. I did some Core Energetics exercises to help release emotions trapped in my body, followed by grounding.

:leaves: :leaves: :leaves: :leaves:

I realized that relationships are a foundational part of my being and that I strongly correlate love and money.

I love having someone by my side to give me support and care, and I truly feel abundant when I have that.
Maybe that’s why the breakup with my ex has been so challenging—she was the person who gave me the most support, love, affection, and care.

PR ended up leading me to reach out to her to talk about unresolved feelings and open up about the difficulties I’ve been having sharing the same spaces with her.

PR is definitely a sub that focuses on the long term—I’m realizing that. I think it’s really good for those already in relationships to build healthy dynamics.

Unfortunately, it can’t be my biggest priority right now.

When I sort some things out, I’ll make space for relationships. I truly want to have someone by my side again as a soulmate.

#27

(( rest day ))

I wish I could process multiple subs at the same time, I really do, but each one is so unique and specific. And they’re becoming more complex with the revelation process / NSE.

The mind really needs support with this. I need to support myself with this.

So, here are some reminders and guidelines for myself on this journey with subs, based on my recent experiences:

  • Less is truly more. Really good things can happen on rest days.

  • Microloops work, and they can be very useful in a functional daily routine.

  • I don’t need to expose myself to new loops while still experiencing headaches/recon from the previous loop.

  • 2 subs are good. 3 is ideal for me. 4 subs might be too much.

  • It’s okay to stick to just 2 subs if I choose and trust that it’s enough (even Saint is only using 2 to handle recon properly and do what he needs to do).

  • Keeping my current priorities in mind will help me (re-reading and reinforcing them is important).

  • WASHOUT is important.

#28

(( rest day ))

I had a dream with a lot of snakes this night.

There was a water park, some pools. Many people, both known and unknown, and members of my family.

Snakes could appear at any moment; they were kind of part of that environment/structure.

I remember them showing up—there were snakes of all kinds and colors.
They would appear swimming in the water and try to climb onto people.
One climbed onto my aunt’s neck, and she didn’t notice. I had to grab the snake with my hands and throw it away.

I did this with two or three snakes, intentionally pushing them away with my mind or with my own hands.

I’m sure it was EoG doing some work in the depths of my mind.

#29

(( EoG + Genesis + PR ))

Who am I trying to fool? I’m dying to experience some romance these days.
Lately, I’ve been allowing myself some exposure to PR and letting it build momentum.

Let’s see what happens. I’ve been getting some looks from beautiful women. Yesterday, while I was out, I noticed women I already know getting closer, wanting to be near me and feel my energy by touch.

Anyway,

I’m also letting EoG build momentum. Just three loops in, and I already feel more motivated to sort out my financial situation. It’s great that EoG has some aspects of AoH because that frees up a slot.

Tomorrow is EoG + RoW + PR.

I’m excited.

Oh, and yes, I enrolled in the university that Genesis opened doors to about two months ago.

I love being guided by experiences with it and trusting what unfolds.

Yesterday, I kept seeing myself living in another city. That’s my biggest dream: I feel like my life will change completely once I leave my hometown and move to the beach. I can sense that dream getting closer and closer.

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#30

(( EoG + RoW + PR ))

No joke, Primal Romance is the fastest-acting sub for me. I’m always amazed by what happens after just 2 or 3 consecutive loops.

I think my subconscious is really open to relationships and truly allows itself to experience them.

Beyond a really good experience that revealed who I want to be around professionally, I also had a great date with someone yesterday.

The craziest part? I met this person right after my first PR loop, on October 13, 2024.
She was one of the first people I saw the aura impact on.

I asked her for a lighter, and she lent me one. I thanked her and said, ‘I need to carry my lighters around more often.’
She replied, ‘Or just stay around me more, right?’"

Since then, we’ve had this thing of wanting to go out, but either I or she was unavailable.
Almost every time I listened to a loop, she would randomly text me. Two other times, we ran into each other unexpectedly.

But yesterday, we finally managed to go out, and honestly, it was so nice. I don’t know how to explain it—it was just really, really good. And she has such an abundant energy. I can feel the way she perceives and lives abundance, and it’s so beautiful.

I also realized that all three people I’ve been interested in over the past few months are singers. Now I’m wondering what that says about me.

When I expose myself a lot to Genesis, it also leads me to concerts and situations where I can be closer to music. Anyway, just piecing things together little by little.

I’m really happy.

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#31

(( EoG + AoH + PR ))

The things about money are coming up to the surface, and sometimes I feel so lost.

My mind often feels like a mess of thoughts.

The choices are difficult too, considering I have the belief that work = sacrifice and joy = no money.

I still don’t know how to reconcile this, and honestly, in today’s society, I don’t even know if it’s possible. The big issue is how I feel about work and a greater long-term responsibility that doesn’t necessarily align with my purpose.

At the same time, it’s as if ANY responsibility isn’t worth the price of my freedom.

The real problem is that, in order to feel free, I ended up trapping myself in a place where there’s no option to make money in an enjoyable way. So, while I do have freedom (I have a lot of spare time), I also deal with the imprisonment of financial dependency and lack.

I’ve been struggling with this for years. EoG makes me want to take action on it—it makes me feel the discomfort. But the real question is: which direction should I go???

What should I do? Where should I invest my energy and focus (which are so much harder to cultivate these days)? Anyway, I’m going through this mental questions while trying to figure out these answers.

#32

That’s why you have EoG1: Inherited Wealth Stories, Roots of Scarcity and Worthiness Recalibration.

My guess is it’s bringing things into your consciousness first and then you’ll find a way to solve these issues organically.

Simply trust the process.

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#33

(( rest day ))

I’m going to take a break from Primal for a few days, especially because I realized that these experiences I’m having aren’t necessarily bringing me what I truly want deep down.

I don’t know… It attracts some people, but I’m not feeling a real connection with them, you know? Everything feels too liquid. I’d like to attract someone who’s willing to be by my side as my soulmate.

I prayed a lot before I met my ex, asking God to send me a soulmate. It was intentional.

I still want that, but I don’t feel open enough to truly nurture and build that space with someone else. And I think that’s not necessarily the focus that PR is helping me cultivate right now.

I think HS aligns more with what I’m looking for. But honestly, these relationship-related themes have been very demanding for me. They’re actually consuming a lot of energy without necessarily giving back the support and depth I’d like in return.

I don’t know… I think it’s more of an internal realignment. These titles take a lot to process, even more the artisanal ones, I’m thinking of what lead in the direction of my true and inner search.

edit: maybe i’m just dealing with PR recon and don’t want to be so vulnerable right now.
edit: maybe PR is asking me to be someone i don’t want to be right now, idk.

According to ChatGPT:

Main focus of PR:
Intensity, passion, and deepening intimacy.

Main focus of HS:
Intuitive attraction and manifestation of the ideal partner.

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#34

PR is also very good at healing relations issues.
So if you made negative experiences in your past relationship (who hasn’t if it ended?) PR has your back.

My guess would be that you’re working through relationship stuff with PR.

But I’ll also agree, that for finding your soulmate HS would be the better.

In the past, HS was also the go to t loop toitle for better relationships. But Saint confirmed that PR now takes this position with a huge lead.

So the big question is, stems your recon from not being in a relationship or from healing relationship issues?

If it’s the later, I’d recommend running it for some more to get rid of this stuff before you attract a partner with HS.

Being in a relationship with your soulmate automatically brings up a lot of issues so you can heal for good. Cleansing some of it first won’t hurt, it will just make the process easier.

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#35

Honestly, I think it’s a bit of both.

The internal wounds that become glaring + the fact that I’m not where I’d like to be (internally and externally).

It takes a lot of mental work to deal with each sub, at least for me.
And dealing with recon without support can be a really painful zone.

edit:

I think PR is showing me internal places where I hurt myself, and dealing with that has been a challenge.
It’s good to have this awareness because I know good relationships can’t thrive in certain spaces.
I’ll see what path can make this healing lighter.

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#36

(( rest days ))

My total exposure to PR since the start of this cycle was 1’35, and that was enough turn a lot of things in me. It’s a heavy tittle, but I trust the internal place it led me to.

Spiritually, I got help and support for some things I mentioned here. Now it’s about trusting the internal changes and letting go.

:leaves: :leaves: :leaves: :leaves:

Anyway, Carnival is on in the city!! I’ll enjoy it and make sure to enjoy it in a way that’s healthy, loving and pleasurable for me.
Genesis is gonna be my best friend these days.

SOO, one thing I’ve noticed from mixing Gen + AoH + PR lately:

I’m really stepping into a leadership role in the spaces I’m in. I noticed it while hanging out with big groups of friends.

I spent a day at Carnival with a mix of friends and strangers, and this group of like 15 people just kept following wherever I went. When I was alone, someone would always show up, and soon enough, people would start gathering around me. I think it’s something about the aura.
And I think Primal’s aura has an influence on that too. I’d like to know how to keep developing this in a more chill way.

Anyway, I’m really sensitive, and I can feel my mind getting stronger.
It’s been really nice to notice—I just feel like my mind is less easily influenced and has more influence over the environment. It’s becoming a common thing.
That gives me even more motivation to keep exposing myself to other titles like Genesis, EoG, etc.

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#37

(( EoG + Genesis + PR ))

yeaaah, 10 secs of PR and this dose was niiice

carnival in brazil is onnnn :fire: :fire: :fire:

yesterday I went to two street parties

sweet kisses were what I got…

this is THE music that will guide the next weeks

#38

(( rest day ))

Today I noticed a more proactive attitude, getting things done, both professionally and for personal growth.

#39

(( rest day ))

I had highly resolute energy to finish a cultural project that I started last year.

I had been waiting for a friend to take the initiative for a long time, but today I took on some responsibilities myself and got a lot done. I’m almost done with everything—I can hardly believe it.

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#40

(( EoG + RoW + PR ))

RoW is no joke.

I realized the difference it makes on the stack—my mind really starts bringing metaphysical topics to awareness. Somehow, these revelations must be very significant for me.

One loop of RoW + watching the movie Coherence (2014) was enough to bring me a lot of insights about my own stance in different situations.

I watched it with my brother, I visited him on Wednesday. He is one of the most significant people in my journey, but I’ve struggled a lot to be myself around him.

I was nervous thinking about how it would be since I hadn’t seen him in a long time.

But it was REALLY GOOD to see him. We had some really good sibling moments—the kind you don’t forget.
We played video games like we used to, talked a lot, and shared a level of mutual understanding I had never experienced with him before. I felt like we strengthened our bond. I’ve become more understanding of his choices and, at the same time, of my own.

It was amazing to realize that I’m able to bring this sense of connection not only to romantic relationships but also to my family and people I love deeply.

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#41

(( rest day ))

Processing things without overthinking, the pace has been more intense because of Carnival. Also, I’ve been smoking more than I’d like too. I feel like it somehow gets in the way of my processing and taking action.

Anyway, I’m thinking of taking RoW off my radar for now.

The cultural project that lasted almost 1 year is now finished.
One less thing to do, more open space.
And yesterday, I had the courage to talk to a friend in person and ask her to include me in some cultural production work as an apprentice

#43

Carnivaaaal!

Day 04 of partying!
the whole country stops to celebrateeee
It’s so good

It’s home → carnival block → home → carnival block → repeat.

Lots of kissesss!

and everything that Carnival is about:
Sexual success…
Beautiful men and women more available for sexual involvement…
Love drugs, dancesss, parties…

I’m listening AOH + Genesis + PR everyday
That’s the real deal, nothing matters
People are sharing my vibe and I’m flowing with them