Gorgeous woman!! Canāt wait to run Seductress next week for me 
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I like the quote.
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Nice noticing that 
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Lately, Iāve been reflecting on trust and how I approach connection. Itās been on my mind after a recent conversation that started off well but shifted into something uncomfortable once we moved off the dating app. I could feel my energy change, and I knew something wasnāt right. My body responded with caution, and I canāt ignore that.
On the dating app, he was agreeing with everything I said, making the conversation feel easy and in flow. But once we started texting off the app, the tone changed. He began focusing on my physical appearance, telling me I was āso attractive,ā and mentioning how much he enjoys the freedom of living alone and being nude. These comments felt out of place and gave me pause. It wasnāt the kind of connection I wanted to buildāespecially when we were still in the early stages.
Then, when we got to the topic of trust, everything shifted. Instead of leaning into the conversation, trying to understand where I was coming from, he became defensive. He asked, āWant me to let you go ācause it seems you donāt trust me?ā I hadnāt even expressed any mistrust; I was simply sharing my perspective on how trust develops over time. But in that moment, it felt like he was trying to flip the script on me, making me feel like I was the problem for having boundaries around trust.
Iām realizing that my self-concept around trust is something I need to work on. Itās not that I have ātrust issues,ā itās that I trust myself enough to know when something doesnāt feel aligned with my values. Iām starting to understand that trust isnāt something that just happens instantlyāitās built over time, through consistent actions and mutual respect. And I want to trust myself more, even in the moments where I start questioning if Iām being too cautious.
When I open up about my experiences and why certain things trigger me, how the other person responds is everything. If they react defensively or try to deflect, thatās not the kind of energy I want. I donāt want someone who canāt hold space for my feelings or try to invalidate them. I want conscious partnership, where both people can communicate openly, understand each other, and navigate vulnerabilities without fear or shame.
When I express my stance on trust, I need to own it, without feeling like I have to explain myself or justify it. There are parts of me that need time, and thatās okay. I donāt want to be afraid to acknowledge the wisdom in my caution. My boundaries arenāt a sign of fear or mistrustātheyāre a reflection of self-respect and the desire for something real, not rushed.
However, I also recognize that itās time to step beyond the cautiousness I feel. I am claiming who I really am: someone worthy of love, connection, and trust, without feeling like I need to guard myself from the very thing I desire. I no longer want to hold back from trusting myself and others fully. I am ready to let go of unnecessary fear and embrace openness and authenticity.
I realize that when I feel a shift in energy, I need to trust myself even more. If someoneās words or actions donāt align with my values or make me feel unsettled, I can trust that gut feeling. I donāt have to explain or overexplain my boundaries.
As I continue to grow, Iām going to hold onto this: I can be open to love and connection without losing sight of my worth. My trust will come from a place of knowing I deserve someone who respects and values me as I am. I am worthy of love thatās built on trust, not something that needs to be forced or rushed.
Itās time to harmonize my self-concept around trust, to find balance between openness and protection, and to let go of any shame or guilt for being cautious. I trust that the right connections will align with me, naturally, without the need for defense or manipulation. I am deserving of a connection that feels safe, grounded, and real.
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To add:
This was uncovered from deep self inquiry doing some parts work:
What my heart is afraid of:
āIām afraid that if I open too much, Iāll be consumed, not cherished.ā
That was in there since grade 9.
Mentioning my fiancee @CurlyGirl here.
If sheās in the right mood, she might contribute.
Trust your sub-enhanced gut.
Did you use Heartsong for a longer period?
Sorry if my answer is made up from super short sentences. I feel kinda overloaded today. Problems with longer sentences and with coherent ones as well 
Btw, you look gorgeous.
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I listened to HS a bunch of different times since 2022. I honestly canāt remember how much or how often though! 
And thank you.
This new Seductress gets the most credit for the experiences and results I have been having lately.
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I talked about a similar topic with a friend today.
The trigger was a scene from the movie āThe Celestine Prophecyā.
In that scene, a woman felt the energy of a man, which caused her discomfort. He wanted to dominate her and was trying to steal her energy. Another woman was observing everything from the outside.
When the first woman literally ran away because his energy was so suffocating, he asked his companion what he had done wrong.
She told him that he had tried to control the conversation and thereby stole her energy. The woman didnāt want that kind of interaction and wanted to protect her energyāso she walked away.
He intervened. She said: āWerenāt you trying to convince her? Manipulate her?ā
He said no. But the thing wasāshe could see the energy dynamics between people, and his energy practically consumed hers.
Why Iām writing this: I think it was very similar in your situation.
He wanted to dominate and manipulate you in his own way. Because you have a strong connection to yourself and your energy, you sense very quickly when someone doesnāt share your perspective or isnāt truly well-meaning.
That is both a gift and a curse. (I know what Iām talking about )
I, too, can tell very quickly when words carry an underlying tone, when someone is being manipulative, or when someone is trying to control me. Thatās why I protect my energy so fiercely.
This often meets resistance and misunderstanding and often leads to conflicts here in the house.
Thatās why I feel you so deeplyāhow you want to protect yourself, but at the same time, work on your ability to trust.
In my past relationship, I had no space to share my thoughts or feelings. It was basically always assumed that I was to blame for whatever happenedāor didnāt happen.
And when, like you, I began revealing my boundaries, the guy became even more unpleasant than he already was. He drained my energy and left me feeling empty.
With @Parsifal , itās the complete opposite. He holds space for meāmy thoughts, my feelings. He gives me room to express myself without me having to feel shame or hesitation.
Of course, there are moments where it doesnāt go 100% smoothly, because one of us is triggered or somethingābut thatās such a small part of the experience, and I find it totally valid. After all, weāre all masters in training 
.
Thatās whyāas you already wroteāitās so important to have someone by your side who opens up that space and also holds it. That, to me, is part of what true masculinity really means.
Being authentic, no longer wearing a mask (or masks), is so important.
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You find out who you really are, and
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it filters out the people who arenāt in alignment with you.
At first, itās exhausting and drainingābut in my opinion, itās absolutely essential to live the life that is worthy of your true self.
And you deserve all of that!
Unconditional love, respect, appreciation, and worthiness.
There will be people who wonāt like that youāre claiming all of this for yourself now.
Donāt you dare let that discourage you for a second 
.
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š„¹š„¹š„¹š„¹ 
So much yes!!! 
Thank you for taking the time to say all of that.
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Day 15 of this amazing listening cycle.
Too many great things have been happening, so many huge revelations, so much healing and redefining myself!
I made a decision that I want to be with someone closer. @Trader made a comment awhile back about how I was manifesting distance. I def. was!!! That felt safer since deep down inside of me I wouldnāt be fully committed and had an easy exit. I had to get to the bottom of that and do the healing work.
I made a decision that I want someone closer to home. I am over the distance and this half in half out crap. I am over the clowns and sketch. The anxious avoidant push pull. Fear. Projections.
I just want a good man with pure intentions.
After I worked through all of this last week, I matched with someone on Hinge who isnāt my usual ātype.ā His profile had photos of him surfing and I donāt know how to swim very good. I decided to go for it and see what happens. He sent me some beautiful messages, pointing out how he liked my bold write up on my profile.
I didnāt reply until the next day. We have talked everyday since and met up twice.
Wow, is all I can say.
I think heās feeling my aura from this stack. Seductress, Daredevil and Stark Black.
He was planning to go somewhere solo this long weekend, as was I. We decided we will road trip together. He had one idea in mind, but I had another. He went and found the most perfect spot and booked it! Heās even driving.
I have always been the driver and planner/booker. I feel like I am softening into my feminine more and allowing myself to receive.
This is a big step for me.
To add: he grew up with mutual friends and I am not in any danger. I trust my intuition and my gut tells me when something is a threat. I also had crisis intervention training for 12 years. I can handle myself! 
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I have a question, which might sound funny or sarcastic. However, it is sincere.
Are there toe yoga exercises or stretches that you teach or do that help the feet/toes?
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Toe squat!!!
Divers pose.
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Wash Out Day 2 ~
I spent two nights at an Airbnb with the guy Iāve been talking to for the past week. As I head home, I find myself sitting with mixed emotions I didnāt expect to feel this soon.
Last night, I wanted to be sexual before bed. I was feeling open, connected, and in the mood for intimacy. But he seemed content to just cuddle and sleep, assuming thatās what we had agreed on. That disconnect hit me harder than I thought it would.
He brought up how, earlier in the night, he placed my hand down there and I didnāt do anything ā and how he feels like heās always the one initiating. I didnāt agree with that, and it triggered something deeper. It brought up memories of times when I felt unseen in my efforts, like nothing I did was ever enough or acknowledged.
I tried to express what I was feeling ā not to argue, but to connect. I wanted to let him in. But instead of feeling heard, I was met with the sense that I was being seen as defensive or trying to pick a fight. Thatās not what I was doing at all. I just didnāt feel understood.
So I froze.
I didnāt want to escalate it, but I also didnāt feel safe staying close. I ended up sleeping in the other room because I needed space ā not just physically, but emotionally too.
I wasnāt angry at him. I was frustrated and sad. I was longing for a kind of closeness that felt mutual and emotionally safe. It wasnāt just about sex ā it was about how we were relating to one another, how he was perceiving me, and whether there was room for me to bring my truth forward without it being misunderstood.
This is where I start to see old patterns come up. Iāve been in dynamics where Iāve had to shrink myself, take the emotional lead, or fix things just to keep the peace. I donāt want to keep doing that. I donāt want to keep chasing connection or questioning whether Iām too much.
But the old version of me still shows up ā the part that second-guesses whether I should have said something differently, or whether I should have just stayed quiet to avoid discomfort. The part that wants to make everything okay, even when I feel hurt.
The truth is, I didnāt feel like he acknowledged my efforts ā not just sexually, but emotionally. I asked him earlier this week if he enjoys oral, and I was open about some of my past experiences. I was vulnerable. So when he brought up how heās gone down on me for hours more than once, and that I havenāt given him oral, it didnāt sit right with me. First of all, he didnāt give me oral for hours. And second, it felt like a tally was being kept ā like connection was being measured or compared instead of felt.
I sit here now wondering if I should bring this up or just carry on. Iād like him to bring it up, but maybe he wonāt. And I donāt want to force it. But I also donāt want to carry the weight of it alone.
I want someone who can meet me where I am, who can really hear me without making assumptions or labelling what Iām feeling. I want to be understood, not managed. I want intimacy to feel reciprocal, not like something I have to chase or justify.
I like it when a man takes initiative, when thereās a confident flow between us ā not pressure, but mutual presence and connection. I want to feel wanted and considered, especially when I make an effort to reach out emotionally or physically.
And even though this might still be new, it matters how things start. It matters how someone responds when I show them the real me ā even the messy parts, even the vulnerable ones.
I donāt have to settle. I can wait for the right kind of energyā¦ where I am valued, seen, and itās reciprocated. I want to feel like my efforts are acknowledged and matched in return.
Iām learning to hold my needs without apologizing for them. Iām learning to notice when I start shrinking, and to stop before I disappear. Iām learning to pause and honour myself, even when itās tempting to smooth things over.
Because I am allowed to want.
I am allowed to feel.
I am allowed to speak my truth.
And I am worthy of someone who can meet me there.
Edit: this turned into a very vulnerable share on his end that helped me understand everything much differently. I realize that I could have handled that situation much better before bed. Seductress definitely goes deep and is helping me become my best self.
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I just remembered that peach scripting haha
When we first met he kept thinking about eating it. 
The Man Who Loved Deeply
For the man who always showed up,
Who stayed when others walked away,
Who gave more than he got back,
And still believed in love anyway.
He didnāt ask for muchā
Just to be seen,
To be met with the same kind of effort
He poured into everything.
He trusted even after betrayal,
Held hope in hands that had been burned,
Carried the weight of silence
When words he needed never came.
But healing comes in quiet ways,
Through softer nights and lighter days.
Through finding joy in things once missed,
And learning self-love first exists.
He met someone when he least knew,
A heart sincere, a soul so true.
Who saw his scars and kissed each one,
Who stayed until the hurt was gone.
They laughed like children, danced in rain,
Rewrote the verses born from pain.
And side by side, they came to seeā
Real love flows where hearts love free.
No longer chasing, no more doubt,
He finally learned what loveās about.
Not giving all to be enoughā
But knowing he was, even through the rough.
And in her eyes, he found his place,
A mirrored soul, a warm embrace.
The man who once was left unseenā
Now lives his own love story, serene.
JLK
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Where do I need to burn up?
What old patterns, beliefs, or stories are still lingering that no longer align with who Iām becoming?
Iām ready to burn up the subtle patterns that tell me I need to soften my truth to be liked, or delay showing up until everything is more polished. Iāve carried the weight of perfectionism and people-pleasing, but I know those arenāt aligned with where Iām going.
I donāt need to earn spaceāI am the space. Iām letting go of waiting, dimming, or editing who I am.
Where do I need to burn into?
What am I being asked to lean into more deeply, especially when it feels vulnerable?
Iām being asked to burn deeper into trust. Trust in my creations, trust in divine timing, and trust in my ability to lead without proving.
Especially in love and receiving, Iām choosing to soften without fear. Thatās where my magnetism lives.
Where do I need to burn more brightly?
Where is my fire ready to be seen, felt, and embodied more boldly?
My voice. My message. My truth.
Itās time to let my creative expression shine fullyāon YouTube, in my offerings, and in how I share the Law of Assumption. I donāt have to stay in the safe zone of surface-level content. I can speak from my lived experience, my depth, and my knowing.
People feel me most when Iām real and unfiltered, when I let the fire move through me without apology.
What areas of my life are calling for the transformative power of my feminine fire?
Where in my life is this energy asking to lead the way?
Creative expression: Iām not waiting, Iām owning it. My creative voice has ripened, and itās time to let it be seen on a wider scale. Not for validation, but because the message I carry is medicine. This is about visibility rooted in truth. Letting my body of work breathe, expand, and be felt.
Love and intimacy: Iām moving away from patterns of self-abandonment. My feminine fire burns away the parts of me that ever questioned my worth or made me settle. I donāt chaseāI magnetize.
Boundaries and leadership: Iām becoming more discerning with my energy. Leading now looks like honouring my limits, trusting my intuitive no, and standing firm in what I value. I donāt need to explain my boundaries. I embody them. I lead with clarity, softness, and unwavering inner truth.
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Last night, I had a dream.
He stood in front of me, saying all the things he didnāt like about me.
Some of them he carried too.
Some were only mine.
But even then, he said he still felt pulled to me.
I woke up feeling two things at once:
Relieved it wasnāt real.
Discontent that it still hurt.
Something deeper was speaking.
The part of me that thinks love is conditional, that if I am too much or not enough, love will leave.
The part of me that thinks they wonāt love me if I show my true self says
Theyāll walk away.
Theyāll flinch at the fullness of me, my feelings, my truth, my body, my softness.
Theyāll want the fantasy, not the real me.
Theyāll say, āThis is too much,ā and Iāll believe it.
Iāll wonder if they were right.
Iāll ache in silence while pretending Iām okay.
Iāll keep trying to be smaller, simpler, easier until I disappear.
The little girl inside me needs to hear
You are not too much.
Your tears donāt make you unlovable, they make you real.
You are not meant to shrink for someone elseās comfort.
Your softness is your strength.
You donāt need to fight for love, it will stay when itās true.
You are seen. You are safe. You are sacred.
I am learning to believe that I am lovable even when
My voice trembles.
I ask for reassurance.
I take up space.
I feel unsure or scared.
I am messy or emotional.
I still carry old wounds.
I donāt know how to explain what hurts.
I need time.
I want to be held, not judged.
I choose myself even if it means being alone.
This dream wasnāt just a mirror. It was a message.
A release.
A rising.
It brought to the surface all the energy Iāve tried to bury. The ache of not feeling enough. The fear of being misunderstood. The lingering shame of emotional trauma and the body Iām still learning to love.
And yet
Something in me knows I am not broken.
This is healing. This is sacred. This is me.
Mantra for This Moment
I am seen. I am safe. I am sacred.
Even in my unraveling, I am still whole.
I release the fear. I receive the love.
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To the Part of You That Wants to Stay, But Is Afraid
Hey, sweet one.
I see you.
I see how you feel so much, even when you donāt always know how to show it.
I see the quiet strength inside you, the part of you that wants to stay, to connect, but sometimes pulls away in fear.
The fear that if you open up too much, youāll be too much.
The fear that letting someone in will leave you vulnerable.
But thatās not true.
You are not too much.
Your feelings are not burdensome.
You are allowed to feel deeply, to love fiercely, and to need support.
There is space for all of you.
Itās okay to stay, to trust, to open your heart.
You donāt have to hide your softness.
You donāt have to be afraid of being seen.
Your wholeness was never lost, even in your fear.
You are worthy of love, just as you are.
And youāre allowed to need love, without fear of losing it.
Itās safe to rest.
Itās safe to be held.
You donāt have to be afraid.
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This month of listening really has hit me deeply. Itās kicking me in the lady balls! Wow 
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