If that’s the direction you want to go, choose a martial art and pair it with something like Spartan. HERO: Origins. Muay Thai Mastery X (which will be updated this year, alongside Boxing Mastery X). Pair it with something like GLM, which really helps you maintain clarity in tense situations – a necessity for self-defense situations. GLM also gives off this subtle “guardian” energy, which I have experienced myself. Others have reported having that experience as well.
Part of how you feel may be recon from the QTKS, given that all three of the cores mentioned are about connection rather than hardening.
But, I am curious how a situation where you were in control up until the individual tried to spit and missed, and you still managed to get away without anyone being hurt is being viewed as an inability to protect your lady friend. Everyone managed to get away, no jail time – sounds like you did your job well.
Think of it like this – if he did succeed in spitting on her, do you think adrenaline would’ve kicked in and you would’ve fought him off? If the answer is yes, then I personally don’t see the issue. If the answer is no, that’s when you’d look into self-defense (and possibly using a title to help, if that’s what you want).
For what it’s worth, you’re being very hard on yourself for a situation that was clearly beyond your control and that no one (especially the law) expected you to take into your own hands.
Unless its your family member, girl you’re dating or someone close, you should not get into a habit of trying to protect every woman around you. Not every confrontation is a “gentleman’s fight” where two guys square up and throw punches. Some people are unstable, armed, intoxicated, or willing to escalate far beyond what a normal person expects.
A man’s job isn’t just being willing to fight, it’s being able to assess danger, de-escalate when possible, and protect the people around him without unnecessarily turning a bad situation into a worse one. Sometimes that means physical intervention. Other times it means creating distance, getting people to safety.
Learning self defense is good but don’t become a statistic because you think you gotta get tough with every asshole out there.
Honestly, you did a good job if you were able to de-escalate. You’ve got to remember all combat skills at the start hammer in that the best thing when you’re about to fight is run or de-escalate, because combat skills don’t equal real street fights. Someone will get hurt and will go badly. This isn’t a movie type fights.
Tbh, I’m not sure, I’ve never been in a situation where adrenaline kicked in and had to defend myself or someone else. Usually when adrenaline kicks in, I have a freeze response, so I don’t know tbh.
Tbh, thanks to LBFH, emperor at the time, I probably wouldn’t have had the type of confidence and calm to even step in. I’m not the type to intervene and get involved in situations that I know could lead to a bad outcome.
The guy was 100 percent emotionally unstable, possibly armed and you’re probably right, if I had decided to fight him, things would have gone side ways quick. It’s this nagging feeling that I still have inside, like if something like that happened again, could I deescalate if the guy was more aggressive especially towards me.
edit:
Like the weird thing is this guy had zero animosity towards me but wanted to fight all the women. It was very puzzling. Which is what made it more hard to respond when there’s no aggression. I calmed him down, eventually. The women made it worse though, they kept talking back at him and made the situation way worse than it should’ve been. So there were a lot of factors at play too now that I remember…I also don’t know what was said before I got there. I kind of walked into a crazy situation all around like a deer in headlights…in the middle of a highly tense moment
The very reason crazy people are crazy, their behaviour makes no sense. Why would you step in and try to train with someone like that?
If she isn’t your girlfriend, then this is a very unreasonable expectation on your part. Who said you had to protect them? Why would they expect that requirement from you? I get it, men are big and strong and should step in to calm things down. But why you? Sure, you could beat the shit out of him, but for what? A criminal record? It seems this crazy guy has a lot of animosity against women, so let that be guy’s karma by himself, don’t step into it.
Synergy: Voice is the Law. You’d be surprised how much the Emperor’s voice comes in handy in these situations without fighting. When someone here’s an Emperors voice and tonality they usually back down because of the authoritarian deepness of the words being spoken. It’s like your normal voice and normal sentences are coming out, but the other person is hearing, “This is Sparta!!!” And visualizing 300 armed Spartans with Spears lol
First I want to say, you did nothing wrong and are not responsible for either the guy’s attitude or the women reaction.
These situations are lose-lose.
As someone who protected two women against an armed dude who tried to kill them and may get a criminal rep for that (I got condemned and appealed) I don’t recommend using any kind of force.
I turned his combat knife against himself (at his leg) and now I’m the bad guy and the two women whom I saved (one of them I thought was a friend) don’t do shit to help me in this affair, no witness report from them, one is too scared that the guy might know her address and kill her to do a witness report, the other is constantly too drunk to give me a recording of the same dude threatening to shoot her a year prior to the event. (Nevermind going to court as witness, she’d rather be in a bar or getting f-d by 5 guys for some C)
I don’t see them anymore and that’s for the best.
It seems they may carry a kind of inner fear now, knowing what I was able to.
It would have been better to just try to de-escalate verbally and if he stabbed me then that wouldn’t really be an issue, the emergency services would have intervened quickly and I’d live, and have no issue with justice of any kind.
But yeah, combat sports are good for giving confidence and assertivity, they aren’t the best way to defend yourself unfortunately, because only the police is allowed to use violence to restraint bad guys.
Even if the other guy is armed and you got nothing but your body you can’t defend yourself physically or you’ll be condemned, that’s the lesson I learned from experience.
Still, if you feel you need confidence and assertivity that a combat sport brings to have courage during these trials to stand in front of death and just negociate with it, then it could be a good idea.
Edit:
He had no external animosity against you because lots of guys fear fighting other guys, especially if they know or believe themselves weak, which I suppose to be his case, which would explain why he was aggressive against the women and not toward you.
The women felt safe enough to be aggressive back against the guy because you were there and they believe you’d jump in-between in case the guy escalated to get hit instead of them.
When you didn’t get in between, their expectations of having no repercussions for their action got wrecked and so now they take their fear of having the guy back then attack them on you.
But you did nothing wrong, quite the opposite.
You calmed him down. That’s the best thing to do in these situations. Because the guy doesn’t want to mess with you, only with the women.
