Since I started posting more frequently again I decided to start a new journal, since I do have a custom I will be using custom journals thread.
I have posted major updates for programs in their respective threads, but I will share them here to get things started, plus to share what happened during my little hiatus.
After that I will explain the name of my journal stack and custom, plus reasoning behind them, and where I am at now.
Copied from Khan zpv2 thread, basically what transpired shortly after my hiatus. Also quote function didn’t work for me lol
The thing that I have noticed yesterday after the loop of TB from the day before was that I became different in a good way….idk how to explain it but I will do it the best I can.
(As I was writing this I began to realize that the loop I ran also solidified my results from my first cycle, as well as how far I have come since that cycle. There was about a month in between the most recent loop and the loop from the last cycle.)
I was reluctant to share this but I guess it’s for the best , I won’t talk about the event that happened but I will talk about the aftermath.
After the event transpired the following day it was as if my internal world fell apart. I realized even though I have grown as a person……all the changes I have made in the end have been superficial and I have lacked a lot of deep change these past few years. One of the hardest and most emotional moments of my life was accepting that the only one to blame was me and me alone.
However just as it is my fault for my inaction and lack of deep change……it is my responsibility to be the one to make the deep changes, to face myself and my demons, and to become the best version of myself.
Since then I have been doing a lot better and I have been making small changes that are leading into bigger changes, but I am taking it slow and taking it one day at a time.
As I was writing this I made the decision to swear of romance and there for I will be dropping Wanted Black from my stack. There are plenty of physical subs in the store and Khan is enough to help me grow in that field anyways, plus wether it’s for a relationship or just a hookup, I have no desire to be with anyone until I have improved drastically as a man.
Also I am taking a few days off from subs to think about my next move. I have been way to focused on internal healing and while internal healing is great, I need to figure out if I need a more action oriented sub like ST2 or another round of ST1. The answer will come to me though.
I went in depth as much as I did because I wanted to show you guys, that Khan is much more than only romance and sex, it’s a title that will turn you into the best version of yourself. I also want to say that TB is no joke at all, it will break you down just like it did me, but I can already tell just how much better I am for it, and it is worth it.
Oh now quote works 
Anyways sooooo that was recon af. And tbh that changed when I added Hero to my stack. When I began to really think about this, I admitted to myself that this was me running away from romance to protect myself from getting hurt, so instead I decided it was time to bring out the big guns and face that side of me so it can grow and heal.
I was using my debt, and my path of bettering myself as an excuse to not allow anyone in nor to give myself a chance at sex and romance. While everyone’s situation is different and in some cases maybe it would be better off to swear it off, my situation isn’t the case at all, I said to myself “Wtf am I supposed to do if I am in this situation later on down the road and I am in a relationship, a husband and or father? Just up and leave until I better myself again? No.” While I am not looking I am open to opportunities now. Which gave birth to B.o.A, btw I went on a date last night 
Speaking of B.o.A, this is from the WANTED Black thread, copied it cause chrome is being a pain in the ass on mobile
So it begins B.o.A (Blessings of Aphrodite)
Let’s see what happens down the road….
Interesting custom will be nice especially when the cores shine
Sooooo there is this coworker at my new job. Very pretty and her and I have a lot of similar interests, plus she seems very stable. Well I went there a few weekends ago to do training and that was the first time her and I met. I had a hard time getting a read on her cause she seems very shy and plus I was working so I wasn’t paying too much attention. Anyways….
I guess last Friday she brought me up to my other co worker who is a close friend of mine, just out of no where
Fast forward to yesterday she seemed very flustered around me lol but she was helpful to me with getting more training started.
After my shift ended I went with my friend to a restaurant to grab a bite to eat and he actually invited her before I did. He is trying to hook us up lol
We grab food and he ends up leaving to go workout and her and I are just talking she goes over her break so I just invited her to have a few drinks with me and she just decides to end her shift early.
We mainly just got to know each other and ngl it was a really good time, nothing sexual or romantic happened but that’s fine, I’m cool with taking things slow.
Plus she seems like a good girl too, but I know there is a freak within her soul. Only time will tell though
Cool, great developement 
Thank you mi amigo!
Is this the WB + KB + Khan journal? If im in the right place, im going to follow 
How about a Khan ST 1 and KB st1 custom with a WB, HERO, and BDLM custom. With Nuevo RICH
I dont see how Hero is fitting this stack, but i have an idea.
Khan + GLM: TC + PCC custom
KB + WB + BDLM custom
Too late lol already made those and played them today. Haha and ngl I feel pretty fucking good.
Loaded to the brim with conviction to accomplish my goals and cut everything that gets in the way, while also having a strong IDGAF attitude (in a good way) towards outcomes, or social interactions etc.
I just want progress and growth right now. Women are just a bonus right now, but not a necessity 
Twin Blade ZP
I have this stacked with my WB/Hero/BDLM custom as well but the purpose of this post is mainly for Twin Blade ZP. I finally pulled the trigger on this custom because even though I went through hell having them stacked back in early August. I knew deep down that I was doing myself a disservice by not continuing to have them in my stack. I realized that with my PMO addiction being under control, I still need to go after a lot of the underlying issues on what caused my PMO in the first place, and to also undo a lot of the damage that it caused me internally.
This custom is meant to heal and strengthen my connection with my masculinity and my sexuality and utilize it for every day life. I made this custom with the idea that once I commit myself to this custom and journey, I know that I won’t be the same person coming out on the other side, no longer being the same person that I am today. Tbh I knew that when I just had these two stacked back in summer, I know now the reason why I walked away from it was because I was and still am afraid of that deep change…and that is exactly why I should be running it.
I finally made Twin Blade ZP because I accepted the fact that no other sub combination has made me realize so much about myself and what needs to be changed, while I am still scared deep down I at least have the courage to understand that if I want to become the best version of myself this combination is imperative.
Twin Blade marked the beginning of what is no longer a self improvement journey, but a man who is now at war with himself. To break my limitations, defeat some inner demons, and grow the hell up and become a man.
Not only do I want to be reborn into the best version of myself and show the world what happens when I am backed into a corner, I want my journey to inspire the ones that I care about to do the same.