The effective Self-inquiry induced effect on RoS is life-changing, to say the least.
It’s beyond self-reassuring. It’s 180° paradigm changing.
I’m coming back home.
So grateful for it🙏
More synchronicities observed and usually happened in clusters in the last few days.
For example, several people acting the same way in the same spot and in a very short time frame.
Spotting new 2 Porsche 911 in the same color driving on the same street in a matter of just 1 minute.
Several big flocks of birds spotted near the lake.
Are those signs of something greater at play giving me a taste of its power?
Is this God’s strange humour at play?
In other news, I’m so passionate about working out lately that reminds me of when I was in my mid-late teens enjoying bodybuilding to the max.
In a sense I’m returning to the awe-factor of witnessing my body transform and being positively addicted to train hard and feel the pump in my muscles.
Also, there’s a timid push to go back to produce some Trance music like I started in my teens.
I feel more alive for sure and with more passion/s in my veins.
Sometimes I feel like I’m running Genesis 2.0 and not RoS.
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Sleep issues are back due to health issues on my respiratory and digestive system.
It’s getting tiresome though to wake up in the middle of the night .
I don’t know if it’s my diet or my subliminal usage.
It all started with RoS though and before I slept good even when I used heavy hitters subs.
My diet is pretty clean and probably even cleaner than before with mostly organic foods.
Unfortunately, if it will happen tomorrow night too I’ll have to stop listening to RoS too see if it’s the main reason of my health problems.
Yesterday I started the Life Book to level up in every area of my life.
Needless to say, RoS is putting me on the fastest track to growth ever.
It’s helping me tuning my life up.
If I’m getting more and more passionate about strength gains and overall physical/mental/spiritual growth on RoS, then it’s a green light from my Higher Self and not just an egoic flex, I guess.
Cute synchronicities happening more & more.
Also, think about something and then experience it is another recurring theme.
Of course, not every thought or desire is manifesting but the trajectory points on that direction.
Trust is the magic keyword.
Just put aside your rational mind to rest for as long as you can if you don’t require it for some tasks and then allow the ultimate flow to take care of your life.
There’s no need to overcomplicate things.
Just trust…
There’s a new and sometimes uncomfortable feeling of being driven in an autonomous car/machine at a way too fast speed.
RoS is quite intense in its unique way.
Additionally, with microloops, you cannot escape it because it’s processed very quickly.
My old identity is wrestling with it, but I think it will lose the war sooner or later.
The inner experiences I’m having on RoS are quite uncategorazible, unpredictable and uncomfortable.
True growth is like an inner fire burning everything that stands in the way of the expression through embodyment of the Higher Self.
Even though I slowly increased the exposure by 10s every single listening day I’m not getting the kind of results I had right of the bat with the 5 minutes loop at the beginning.
Way more apathy and lack of vitality in general when I’m with clients and people.
My income isn’t getting any better.
My relationships are pretty much the same or even worse.
Also there’s less need to engage in spiritual matters but the bodybuilding & manifesting passions are getting stronger.
To be honest I just want achieve my biggest goals and see if they are the keys to unlock the big mystery of myself.
Call it recon. Call it whatever.
If I’m not getting progress towards my goals this title isn’t for me at this moment in my life.
Quite frankly I’m quite puzzled if I think that in the first 6 months on SubClub the trajectory towards my ultimate goals was way better than the one I’m currently taking.
The fact the I was listening to full loops and having better overall results objectively and not subjectively speaking it’s counteractive to what many users are preaching nowadays with ultrashort and infrequent listening patterns.
However the whole thing isn’t helping solving the puzzle.
I don’t know what, how and who to follow and trust anymore.
The progressive microloops school or the old full loops school.
Also, another thing is that I’m quite tired to experiment different listening patterns and literally live as a human guinea pig during a lifelong experiment, hoping that somehow and someway I will find the right listening patterns.
The truth is that I put myself in an artificial laboratory for a lifelong experiment just to escape from life itself instead of living my life in an healthy and natural way by enjoying my experiences and learning from life itself.
I kept having coping mechanisms in place with endless inner explorations, experiments, trajectory changes instead of learning to live my life and especially with life.
I delegated my growth to some external tools because it seemed the promised/marketed easy way out.
I always tried to fix myself because I thought I was broken.
I never lived my by the assumption that I’m already perfect and worthy as I am and as my birthright. Instead I erroneously trust the herd who told me that I need to embark on an endless self-development journey in order to be worthy of what I really want to be and achieve.
An endless journey that never ends and will never be satisfying from a broken point of view.
So what if I decide to live life on my own terms and enjoy it to the fullest without stressing about wrong assumptions about myself which kept me small to this day?
What if I decide that I don’t need anything but the most positive assumptions about myself in place to start live my life thriving and having fun with it?
What if I’m already good, mature, strong, attractive, lovely to experience all the best things that I can experience in this lifetime?
That’s the Revelation I needed
End of Revelation🙏
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Amen.
Amen
Amen
2nd day of washout.
Nasty low mood, hopelessness, victimhood, nausea about my current situation, loss of income, etc wreaking havoc in my inner and outer landscape.
It looks like there’s a never-ending cycle of high & lows, inner peaks & valleys that are still there during this time.
All of this back & forth is keeping me from having a proper transformation in place because all of my resources are used to live a normal life while having all of this crazy roller coaster inner-issues.
Quite frankly it’s getting harder to having faith in myself and for a resolution of my historical issues.
Some kind of reset is needed.
However if there’s even more suffering involved I won’t be able to do it.
In an ideal world I would need to get a reset along with a subconscious/conscious anesthesia to prevent any negativity interference with the transformation.
Frustration is the enemy of self-realization.
We are creatures that want to grow while experiencing positive and tangible daily progresses.
Whenever you don’t see tangible better experiences, there’s a risk a short-circuiting yourself and having a serious identity crysis.
That’s what I’m experiencing.
If I don’t see improvements in my daily life in every area of interest, then I fall into the negativity trap.
In a sense I’m doomed to the success meter where my sense of worth is linked to positive results.
My worthyness always came from getting more & more attention, appreciation, status, kindness and warmth. If I get less of them in a certain time frame, my worthyness decreases.
It’s not indipendent and inherently built inside of me but always fluctuating and externally driven by positive people, things and circumstances.
My self-love, self-worth, self-confidence is pretty much non-existent but a pendulum swinging from one extreme to the other of the spectrum of negative-positive experiences.
If I have better experiences over time those aspects seemingly increase but it’s just a matter of having bad times and then they plummet into a negative trap.
I cannot live my life like this anymore.
I need to build my self-esteem, self-love, self-worth, self-confidence from the ground up and not delegate an archetype to cover those with illusory and externally dipendent traits.
Focusing on having those traits by trying to manipulate the external circumstances will always end in a toxic co-dependency with positive experiences and outcomes.
Sooner or later this co-dependency will catch up with your major weakness and undeveloped features and then Adios positive feelings, thoughts and emotions.
Because you cannot win everytime.
If I want to experience true love, happiness, success, confidence and freedom I need to build them up first inside of me and not delegate the outer experiences to influence myself.
Do I want to experience Love?
I need to build it up inside first.
Do I want to experience Success?
I need to embody the concept of Success first.
Do I want to experience Happiness & Joy?
I need to learn how to cultivate them inwardly first.
Do I want to experience Prosperity?
I need to feel Rich & Prosperous inside first.
I don’t need to fix myself but to build myself up.
Love Bombing my current Self is winning the race to finally build a proper foundation after the washout.
I asked Chat GPT to analyze my journals and conversations with it, and there’s a serious lack of self-worth and self-love, which then negatively influenced everything I did and reinforced the vicious cycles I went in.
I already suspected way before playing with RoS as the times I was listening to something with Love Bomb in it were producing greater results. However I didn’t spent enough time on it and I diluted its potential results by stacking it with other titles.
I never listened to it in solo mode to see what it’s capable of in terms of helping me build the most solid foundations.
3rd Washout Day.
I’m feeling better emotionally.
Self-Love & Self-Worth are the most important foundations to live life to the fullest.
If they aren’t properly laid, everything on top of those will crumble sooner or later.
That’s not negotiable anymore as I cannot afford to build another frail building.
Genesis didn’t work as planned in my previous cycles due to the lack of love for myself, my life and others too. Also I lack a deep self-worth and consequently the seemingly self-confidence I tried to build up wasn’t as strong and as sustainable as it should be.
Also my happiness & joy generating skills aren’t developed enough, even though I played several cycles of Genesis: AoH.
So I still lack the main foundations to build everything on top.
Genesis needs those in place to work properly, if not it will be a struggle and a confusing experience, to say the least.
Every title I played after Genesis was a weak band-aid to cover my self-esteem, self-worth and self-love issues.
They were just armors on top of a weak frame and so they collapsed inevitably.
You cannot be a true Emperor, Primal man, Innovative Genius and other archetypes too if you don’t love yourself unconditionally and your worth is dependent on external factors.
That’s why I sub-hopped and tried a lot of different things. I erroneously thought that they were the solutions but I was searching in the wrong direction.
Now the journey re-starts from learning to love, appreciate and generate joy and happiness from inside-out instead of falling into the trap of chasing them in symbols, objects, situations, people, etc.
From Love, Joy and Happiness the sky is the limit.
Love Bomb - - - > Genesis: AoH - - - > Genesis - - - > TBA