The Road to Emperor

Day 11

Ran EQ 9 times last night

  • Woke up with freshness.
  • When i was walking outside my house in the morning for fresh air, i felt superior, vibes of a king, that i am worthy.
  • I can feel that i am going towards something good in life in a confident way.
  • I think 9 loops are too much, may be i’ll cut it down to 7. (Gut feeling)
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Day 12

Ran 7 times

  • Lazy day

Day 13

  • Had some weird dreams. I was with my ex crush.
  • In the morning i was bit nervous.
  • 8 Am - I am feeling so settled in myself.
  • 3 Pm - So i went out with my friends for some work and to have some fun, and every girl was making hard eye contact with me. I was like what’s happening. At some point literally laughed why this is happening.
  • I was feeling not only confident but i had vibes of king.
  • Every one was treating me so nicely.
  • In the morning i decided to apply for a job and i am 95% sure that i’ll get that job, before that i will improve my English and communication skills. Might run PCC
  • From last 3 days i am also using a series to boost my energy and doing meditation.
  • I felt that meditation is key to boost results and to reduce reconciliation.
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Day 14 [on day]

  • Wokeup with full energy.
  • Today i noticed that my mother seems more nice to me. Usually when i say her to do something she would pass a statement and then she would do that thing. But now from 2 days she doesn’t pass any statements and listen to what i said and follow nicely. ( I am not being bossy here)
  • Shifted my work station to another room because my dad watches news all day and i am fed up of negativity(news), i said to him either turn off the tv or to move tv somewhere else. But he didn’t agree so i had to move my workstation in another room.
  • Job update - I am not applying for the job this year as i have to do some work in December. May be after discussing i will apply for it in January.
  • I also noticed a change in me that i am taking small steps towards my goals.
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Day 15[off day]

  • Woke up with balanced energy.
  • Not much happend today.

Day 16 [off day]

  • Feeling enthusiastic today not much.

Day 17 [on day] [Ran 7 loops while sleeping]

  • In shower i was thinking that what is my passion(career wise), will i be able o find my passion or not.
  • From past week i am not doing anything productive, i watch youtube all day. And i feel sad about it, I don’t have any work to do. Sometimes i bury myself under guilt.
  • Changes I noticed today - There is a friend of mine, I don’t talk too much with her, its almost a month and a half now i guess. She discussed with my other friend to go out and have some fun but didn’t tell me (He, the other friend told me). She just wanna hang out. Today she messaged me only with my name. {Seeklight
    I then replied that you could send atleast a hi or hello and told her it looks cheap and looks like you are only messaging to get something. Then she replied with 6-7 angry messages that i am not here to get anything or to get help.}
    Now i don’t care much about girls, now i tell what i think.
  • I dont have much friends and now i am ok with it.
  • There is an issue with me like i seek so much attention. Like sometimes in group chats when i message i check my phone so many time that someone replied or not. This isue really pisses me off sometimes.
2 Likes

From what i can see things are coming up that make you angry is a good sign its a sign that you need to let go of things…

an emperor doesnt hold on to people and their actions rather people hold on to him

Send the message in the group chat and ignore what comes of it. If its help you need and there is no response then well do it your self you running emperor

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Thanks @pacman for clerification. Actually it is necessary to let go of things that don’t serve us.

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Day 17 - Part 2 AFTERNOON
Currently feeling so much energy in my mind and body.

EVENING
Feeling so damn good. Singing songs
So optimistic

Day 18

  • Nothing much just went out for some work.

Day 19

  • Woke up feeling pretty good, but after that i got a little bit low.

  • In the morning i was laying on the bed and my dad came up, he said something to me which was silly [acc. to me] then i got angry and replied to him in anger [ I felt bad afterwards that I shouldn’t have done that. After all he’s my father but on the other hand my mind thinks that he talks about that has no meaning. Or may be i am wrong]

  • After taking cold shower my body was tingling, because an energy was rising from my feets towards my head. That energy was containing something I cannot explain. I got inspired that i have to do something about my future, to hunt something big.

  • Today i was hesitant to talk with someone means i was not wanting to talk with that person[ He is a college clerk] but I talked with him as i had some queries. My voice was little low and i was a little confused also that what I should ask.

  • pretty girls were staring hard.

  • CHANGES I NOTICED TILL NOW

  1. There is Confidence and carefreeness in my walk.
  2. I am being more straight in conversations, not completely yet but gradually. I say what i want, no sugar coatings.
  3. There is a spark in me now to lead. Lead in conversations, to guide someone. Well i will guide myself.
  4. I started taking little actions. Before i was lazy and now sometimes i feel like someone pressed my buttons of taking action. It sounds so funny to me though. :joy:
2 Likes

DAY 19 Evening

  • A thing happened just now few minutes ago (Late evening time)
    Background details - So today i went to college with my cousin for his admission. The admission department said that the whole procedure of taking admission is online because of the pandemic and the website will be active in the evening. As we were going home, my uncle called on my cousin’s phone means his son and told him to go us to the local internet portal or caffe to fill the form for admission and my cousin told him that the website will be active in the evening so there is no point going there. Cousin told me all that he is saying this, but we knew that the website is not working yet. Fast forward to evening time. He scolded his son for not going there and filling the form. Cousin said that there is the issue with website. So my uncle called me on phone and started talking in rude way that you should’ve completed the work you have. Blah blah… and unfortunately I forgot to say that the website is not working. I got super angry but kept that in me, i was so close to explode. Then he called again and asked what need to be done and asked will i go tomorrow again. I straight said if i will feel good i’ll go. Will depend on my mood, he said ok in a low voice.
    And now i am thinking that Emperor is manifesting challenges to build the foundation. It forces you to say no to others.
    I have never done that, i am speechless.
    Thank you subclub
2 Likes

Day 19 Late Night
Feeling not good. I am experiencing feelings of guilt and sadness not too much but yeah i can feel because of the incident that happened this evening(read above). Now i am thinking I shouldn’t have talked like that. SIGHS

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@seeklight - looking at your posts from a “big picture” lens, it feels like aside from EmperorQ giving you challenges, you yourself are trying to figure out the correct way to handle those challenges.

It’s a bit difficult when it happens but I can see you trying to find the answer at each step and am sure you will get stronger mentally in knowing what you want and going after it.

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Even i try to find my passion for life.

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Day 20 date-17 (off day)

  • Nothing much just added Sanguine Ultima as a stack.

Day 21 date- 18 ( off day for EQ)

  • Woke up neutrally.

  • Motivation to get shit done is increasing.

  • I am ready to learn proper English and communication skill.

  • This evening i was snapchating a hot girl [that was our first time talking] and she was way more responsive. She even sent her picture and a dance video of her [she’s into gymnastics] She was telling me what she do, like she wrote a whole paragraph. I was shook. And I barely sent her 3-4 messages. She doesn’t know how i look. So i am lowkey worried about my looks. But on the other hand i was also thinking why I should be worried. Point is that there is no girl in my life right now and just 4-5 male friends. May be thats why i am afraid of loosing her. But I should not make her priority.

  • I can feel the effects of EQ. Its like something is telling me not to worry about her and be on your track.

4 Likes

A LITTLE EDIT
From now on i’ll update here weekly may be on Sundays.

Hey, you use just EQ right?

Now i added Sanguine Ultima as stack.

Day 22, Date 19, Monday [ on day ]

  • Added Sanguine Ultima as stack [1 loop daily]

  • Woke up With optimism, was feeling good, settled in myself.

  • That snapchat girl is not intimidating me anymore. I am not worried about her now.

  • These days i am craving for attention from opposite sex, whether in person or on social media. Which is not good for me in know.

  • Feeling grateful for what i have.

Day 23, Date 20, Tuesday [on day] { 8 loops at night }

  • Woke up with freshness and good feeling.

  • Getting stares from random people. Had stare battles with some guys. Small incident- I was on my bike on pinion seat with my cousin and a lady who was in the car with her husband didn’t stop staring dead in my eyes. I don’t know if that was my delusion or not.

  • Everyone is nice to me except some people.

  • I am noticing my cravings regarding that snapchat girl.

  • Night time - feeling lonely. Like no one is around me, i wanna get loved that kind of feeling.

Day 24, Date 21, Wednesday [on day]

  • Last night while running EQ, i woke up in the night 2-3 times. This started happening from mid last week. Finally woke up at 5:30 am and suddenly I thought of that Snapchat girl, checked that she messaged or not. I know i am thinking too much about her. This SUCKS

  • 6:30 am - Finally the feeling came that I don’t care anymore about anything. I felt so light like something heavy is gone from my mind

  • Relapsed on PMO 2 times but not feeling bad about it and letting it go.

  • Watched harry potter movie thats it.

  • I procrastinated all day.

1 Like

Yes brother and i have added Sanguine Ultima also. @Vesper

Proposing this journal be renamed The Road to Emperor :wink:

2 Likes

Proposal accepted :wink: @SubliminalUser

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