I’m reposting what I posted in my journal:
I’ve had two major realizations related to the experiences I’ve gone through. First, the only real trauma I needed to deal with was my little brother’s suicide, which I processed many years ago. Moreover, DR and Phoenix played a key role in helping me complete the healing.
Second, the abusive treatment I endured for years is a different matter entirely. My mind developed coping mechanisms, such as derealization and depersonalization, to handle it. Over time, my mind eventually moved away from these mechanisms. However, some of them are still present, and they need to be overridden. These coping mechanisms have become redundant, unnecessary, and even potentially harmful.
I’ve concluded that trauma occurs when our mind doesn’t have enough time to process a traumatic event, while abusive treatment gradually alters the mind to cope with it. The altered part of the mind becomes obsolete once the abusive treatment stops. Over time, unnecessary coping mechanisms dissolve, but some of them can be quite stubborn and require positive conditioning to be overridden.
That positive conditioning is nothing more than replacing unfavorable, obsolete mental and behavioral patterns with new, favorable ones.
In my case, it would be about replacing regressive and asocial patterns with assertive and prosocial ones.
. I’m doing a healing journey as well, so it’s very valuable having someone’s perspective on adversity far across the globe 
. Keep up the great work man.