The 'not doing much' Journal

Journals - Major Programs
#1

After my last failed attempt to stick to a disciplined routine (action and subliminal), I’ve thought that maybe I’m trying too hard.

This realisation came after I rolled my ankle earlier in the week. I’ve enjoyed having an excuse to do nothing and that’s when I concluded that doing nothing is maybe what I need.

The plan is to focus only on one thing, semen retention, and let all else happen organically. So even if I did nothing all day, as long as I retained - it’s a win.

I thought, how can a subliminal fit into this approach. After reading Sanguine’s objectives again, I notice they match well with the effects from semen retention. I’ve always had a high sex drive so semen retention has not been easy, but the positive benefits I’ve observed from the practice are undeniable. I’m at the point where I want it to be a lifestyle choice because it’s just too good.

This experiment I’m hoping leads to a paradoxical effect where I become more productive and healthy by not trying as hard. My intuition tells me it could have a healing effect, letting go of old thinking patterns that formed around trauma.

As for the subs, I’ll need to ignore my desire to stop completely, or add more subs, or switch stacks entirely because I suddenly decide that I want to become a billionaire, or a sex god, or a loving kind person, or a chilled out monk, or a transcended master, or a fitness guy :sweat_smile:

I might just be me and see where that takes me, with a little dash of Sanguine.

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#2

D01
New Sanguine - 15 minutes

I’m feeling relaxed with a good vibe. People responded well to me when I was out this morning. This seems to be the normal when I’m doing well with semen retention. I had one weird guy come up to me in the supermarket, pointing at a product he had in his hand but he wasn’t saying anything. I was like ‘WTF’, but after talking to him like a kid, I found out he wanted to know the price. I swear people are becoming more retarded by the day but I helped him out anyway.

My ankle is still in pain but I’m moving around more freely, and it would take a keen observer to know there was an issue. I won’t be working full days for a while, so it should hopefully come good soon. I’ve been using this pain away cream, no idea if it’s working but it definitely stinks like it should be doing something.

I did the loop earlier in the morning and felt like a melting marshmallow afterwards. Me and the lounge were becoming one. I haven’t felt any heaviness in my head or any other bad effects from the loop. Perhaps because the objectives align so well with my goal, I won’t notice as much recon. I’ll keep tabs on it though and will keep the journal updated.

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#3

D02
Off

I did a mobility routine that relaxed my body. I’ve got to do that more often, I feel tight in thoracic spine rotation. My ankle has improved, with less swelling but an occasional sharp pain reminds me it’s still an issue. I was getting into some solid workouts before this happened so hopefully I can get back into it soon.

I might notice some heaviness from the sub today, although I’m not sure. I don’t judge recon well because I feel like I’m in recon even during long breaks from listening. I don’t want to declare recon when there’s the chance I’m just feeling like trash on a certain day and I’d likely be feeling that whether listening to a sub or not.

I slept well, nearly sleeping through to my just in case alarm (7am). I’m planning to start meditation to improve my concentration and relaxation. I’ve always resisted the practice but I know it’s something I need. I’ve also set my phone to grayscale and toggle to colour only if I need to take or view a photo. Dipping my toe back into the dopamine detox pool, but no plans to force any changes.

I’ll do my best to use my knowledge and wisdom in day to day action while ridding myself of the pass/fail pressures that I normally use as motivation. The strictness works but I’ve never found it particularly sustainable and it only leads to disappointment and a reverse back into destructive behaviours, as if I have to make up for ‘being good’. A bit like a pendulum swinging back and forth I guess, that’s me. That’s why I decided to focus only on semen retention, which acts like a mind stimulant, that I hope will guide me in a new direction. I do need to be strict in this one area though because once the lust and fantasy take hold, the practice loses its magic. I fought this off a bit today when I came close to doing some social media stalking / investigation work :sweat_smile: Fuck that, only leads to porn.

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#4

D03
New Sanguine - 15 minutes

I picked up my kids from inside school yesterday. Normally the busyness and noise of the environment stresses me out but this time, I noticed a lot more inner calm. Sanguine / retention mode activated.

Today the weather is bad, kids sports cancelled, so I lay in bed longer than usual. I feel so lazy but I love it. The in-laws are coming around for lunch which is always an awkward encounter but it makes good comedy material for the next couple of days.

Despite the lunch, I won’t eat - or at least I plan not to. I’m working on a fast over the weekend because I feel like I need one after eating a lot during the week. I’m still completely off caffeine, although at times I question why.

Wife seems concerned about my ankle and massages it often. I don’t think it helps much, I’m pretty sure I’ve ripped something like a ligament from the bone. I might look into buying an ankle bracing strap, to wear at work, although the ankle high boots seem to provide some support too which is a bonus.

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#5

D04
Rest

D05
Rest

Taking an extra rest day, I’ve come down sick with a head cold and chest infection. Managed to clean up family car with degreaser and hose underneath for registration inspection today. I done a bit of front end suspension work recently plus two near tyres, so it should pass ok :crossed_fingers:

It’s been very rainy and the ground is boggy. The sun :sun_with_face: is finally out so hoping things dry up. Today I’ll rest and try to get plenty of sunshine on my skin. If I do a loop later, I’ll edit this post but I’m probably going to give it a rest for now until I’m feeling better. In good news my ankle is feeling 90% better. I’ve been massaging hard the muscle that runs down the outside of the shin bone which seems to be helping.

I’ve not noticed much yet from Sanguine, I feel more agitated if anything but I think this ankle and now being sick has caused that more than anything. I had a bowl of beef casserole stew for breakfast, hoping that powers me up. I normally don’t eat anything until lunchtime.

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#6

D06
Rest

D07
Rest

D08
Rest

D09
Rest

D10
Rest

I got pretty wrecked by this flu and haven’t done much. The car passed no problem. I’ve got 4.5k worth of bills to pay this month. At this rate I might need to switch to a wealth sub :sweat_smile:

It’s all good though, I’m going to get a large tax return this year and June is always the worst month of the year thanks mostly in part to car registration and home insurance. These crooked kunts running the show surely are fucking us though with costs.

I sign off on this cycle for now. I may as well start fresh on Monday with a new cycle. I’m feeling better today (Saturday), so by Monday I reckon I’ll be good to restart subs and start catching up on some work.