The New Emperor

Woke up 4 hours earlier than intended and performed my current spiritual practice, basically prayer and meditation right afterwards. I did no listening overnight like I have been the past few days and I’m even taking today off listening. My prayers are of a unique kind as I do not subscribe to religion. Basically it’s known as metaphysical prayer. Afterwards I still had a huge amount of energy but decided that waking up at 4:22 in the morning would have me feeling dead by the afternoon (although I’m not so sure about that because ever since I’ve been exposed to emperor my overall energy levels have gotten an insane boost and are more stabilized). In any case I didn’t want to take the risk so i went back to sleep.

I had a dream (and a very vivid one) about combined events that have happened to me at work over the past 3 years. I notice I’ve been dreaming more often, more vividly, with easier dream recall wince starting this stack. In any case, during the dream I was woken up by a noise. Woke right back up bursting with energy. A realization then hit me in regards to my previous post. 5 years ago I had just gotten out of the worst relationship of my life (if I don’t count the long-distance one that came right before it), and literally a week later I was in a new relationship with the woman I just broke up with last weekend.

I found it ironic that 5 years down the line she did the same thing, and at the same age that I was five years ago, which is 23. The realization almost made me chuckle. I think this was Sanguine’s way or helping me realize how funny life can be and to further cement my nonchalance toward the situation. Of course I feel the limitless portion of emperor probably helped me make the realization in the first place. This is a perfect example of “charging it to the game”.

I also began plotting which programs and stacks I’d like to run all the way up to 2022, and they all include programs from subclub, so it looks like I’m here to stay. In 2022 I may or may not return to the previous sub producer I was with. It’ll depend upon what my current needs are.

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Already starting to feel the effects of the sub less but they are still strong. This means I’m basically adjusting to change so no biggie. I find that I’m joking less but my jokes are funnier.

Had a supervisor tell me twice today that I’m popular with the ladies. I’m simply smiled and said “no comment” while she laughed.

Had to deal with 3 hectic situations at the same time today at work. I found it a bit tough to multitask but I completely kept my cool.

After work, my ex texted me and told me that she knows we broke up but she feels we’ve still been pretty distant :face_with_raised_eyebrow:. Originally I ignored the text until I stopped driving and when I did respond I simply told her that I’ve been feeling distant from everyone (which is true). I then in the exact same text began discussing something business related. I’m really not with all that mushy shit, when I read the text it literally felt like my heart shrank and I was damn near disgusted. She’s not an all bad person but I don’t wanna be buddy buddy with my ex, just cordial coparents. I simply dismissed whatever emotional game she was trying to play. I honestly don’t care about the fact that she still cares about me, and I don’t even care about the fact that idgaf.

This also leads me to a decision. Don’t think I’ll be emotionally engaging with women for a while since I’ve been feeling cold even before aiming to subclub. Even more so now. I’m feeling like besides business transactions I need to keep people at an arm’s distance until I’m done becoming whatever these programs are helping my subconscious mold me into.

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I dont feel really zen. But from a ticking bomb i am down a notch or too since i started sanguine

Whats your stack looks like now?

In order:

Emperor V3
Power can corrupt
Inner circle
Sanguine
Aura

Just updating on my lunch break. HUGE amounts of stares from women, in fact a new group of trainees were being guided by the trainer earlier through a faculty tour. While all the new females passed by my row, I guess my deep voice caught their attention because out of the corner of my eye I saw each and every one of them pass me by and stare while slowing down their walking pace. It was like a damn parade.

My ex got back from work in the middle of the night. I woke up just in time to see her half naked and climbing on top of me. No sex was had but it was strange that she seemed to just wanna lay on top of me, and while I was listening to my stack through headphones no less. I remained indifferent and fell back asleep pretty quick after she layed on my chest.

I was pushed last night to study until I literally started to fall asleep.

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On average how many plays?

2-3 full loops of the playlist per day on average. I’ll be off from work pretty much the rest of this week for Thanksgiving so I’m going harder.

I love your results even with low amount of time the stack is repeating. I would be interested to read more about inner circle too

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I love my results too lol. We’ll see what happens with inner circle. I’m probably going to have to be more patient with it than any other program in my stack seeing as how it’s the only one that I haven’t really seen any blatant results from yet.

I’m also choosing to run this stack for about 4 months since it has so many programs and the entire playlist is only 3 hours and 25 minutes (masked), 10 minutes less for silent.

Luckily I can alternate between Bluetooth headphones/earbuds and my cellphone often throughout the day.

Update:

Running my loops as much as possible for the rest of the week. Maybe except for while I sleep. I’m not sure if this was “reconciliation” (on another forum from the subs I was using previously we called fear-based responses from the subconscious resistance) but right after I was done preparing my breakfast my speaker stopped playing my sub while emperor was playing. I pretty much just had to disconnect, then reconnect the speaker.

This brings me back to the days two years ago where I used and alpha male sub with the other producer, and I regularly had mysterious sabotaging efforts from my subconscious happen such as me waking up and having the earbuds out of my ears. The app would mysteriously stop playing the sub or producing sound, etc. Occurrences like this only tell me that the sub is working but being fought a bit. I have things in place to minimize the negative effects luckily.

Last night the ex and I cuddled again and actually spoke, again I remained indifferent to the outcome but I find this phenomenon weird. I know she’s talking to someone else so I’m just not sure if she’s physically lonely and that’s why she keeps coming to me in the middle of the night (besides of course that she gets off work late). I’m thinking that she’s like every other woman and feels like our bond in general is broken so she just wants to know that it’s “fixed” and doesn’t care how it’s fixed, especially since social bonds are important to women who are in touch with their feminine sides. Women like these tend to have a desire for union, to build and maintain quality social connections with those they come to care for. Maybe she feels guilt of some sort as well. I think PCC has me motivated to study human nature more than ever.

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I like your point of view. Also when you are indifferent you arent needy which is attractive

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Ended up doing what I now would like to call a reinforcement session. Basically instead of running my entire stack, I choose to run specific programs in the stack. I did 2 loops of emperor and one of PCC while running an errand last night. Felt energized during the first loop, which progressed into me getting almost hyper until I began to read and study. Emperor definitely makes me uncomfortable with time wasting habits and actions and mindsets.

Later on, I pulled up to my current residence and my ex and Daughter came outside. The ex told me she has company coming, cool. He showed up about 90 minutes later and I greeted him at the door. First thing he said is that I looked familiar, I’ve never seen this guy at all so no idea where that came from. Either way what I noticed is that while he waited downstairs where I was watching TV, he seemed a bit nervous. This guy is clearly older than me but displayed body language like I was a girl’s dad and he was waiting for her to go to prom with her lol. When my ex came downstairs she told him it was fine to come up and her said ok, but reluctantly as if he was scared. I can tell my ex felt how off the vibe was just like me but of course no one said anything. I just laughed internally. Seeing an older man behaving so timidly was a bit painful to watch.

Hours later I woke up to take my child to the bathroom and then went myself. Went upstairs to get my headphones so I could play my stack (which I’m currently listening to, and my ex called me into the bedroom. She was being very indirect and kept asking me what I was about to do. (It’s 4 am, the hell you think? Run a marathon? Lol). I simply replied I’m going back to sleep. She then asked where I was going to lay down (facepalm), here she fu***ng go.

I was already figuring she wanted me to lay with her but I just kept acting oblivious. Finally after a little back and forth, she simply told me to lay down. I declined, she asked why and I said I felt it was weird because another dude was just up in her room for hours. She insisted that they hadn’t slept together but rather they did or not isn’t what bothered me. It’s the fact that 1. It sent a subconscious message to me like I was being treated like some dog that was getting scraps, whether or not that was her intention, and 2. That yet another merry-go-round game of breaking up, still being in physical proximity of each other (cuddling, intercourse, etc.), me and her getting confused and then finally reattached to one another was being initiated.

Had to stop that shit. I clearly stated that I’m not laying down with her. This was the 2nd dude she’s had up in her bedroom in the past 3-4 days. Again, idgaf rather they are having sex or not. None of my business. But I won’t be treated like a pup that faithfully waits for their owner to give them attention, scraps etc. I asserted that I was uncomfortable and wasn’t going to lay in bed with her. I told her good night and came back downstairs.

Afterwards; while Emperor played, I was driven to study my own motivation for acting the way I did. I simply came up with the fact that I refuse to be treated like I’m worth less than a man and also that I don’t want to deal with confusion, not only between me and her but with any human being. Even 2 of my best friends have been acting like they’ve been too busy to hang lately, and they’re not exactly the highest quality men, so I’ve made the decision to just go ahead and cut em off, no explanation. We went through a lot together and were like brothers so I wish them the best but seeing how things have been progressing, this decision was inevitable. Kinda just feeling like f**k anyone that isn’t actively adding value to my life, which is pretty much everyone except me right now.

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You’re really working this Emperor shit out in the trenches.

To me, personally, your moves seem classy. Not crying over and trying to control her. Calmly establishing and moving in your own square, your own circle. The boundaries are being built.

Would you say that your reactions now are very different from how you would’ve reacted in the past, if you had been in a similar situation?

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Most definitely. In the past It’s likely that I may have been more prone to be angry and frustrated over shit that I couldn’t control. Now I just choose to operate from the perspective of self-love. She can love how she wants, I respect her right to do so, but I also respect myself enough not to fall victim to the same old game.

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Small update:

Just got reminded of why I quit the habit of saying “thank you” to people until they actually do what they say they’ll do.

My ex just showed a strong IOI, had to reach for something that was close to her vaginal area and the smile she gave indicated she wanted me to touch it.

Just compared QL to alchemist and then Khan to EOG. Haven’t seen emperor fitness compared to spartan of course but I know which 3 stacks I’ll be running next. My sub roadmap seems tentatively set until around the end of 2022.

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Actually spent my first Thanksgiving ever alone…it was dope! I gotta do that more often lol. My sister did tell me about an event that was happening at the home of my Niece’s father, but I just kept thinking to myself that I rather only go to a place that I was invited to. I enjoyed my solitude either way.

I pretty much spent the day studying for my certification exam and then getting into a new series that explores the history of hip-hop in detail.

My ex came back home and wanted me to “take advantage” of her, but she got too full after she ate, oh well.

She did this morning though keep wanting me to cuddle up with her for some reason. i did it since I knew it wouldn’t be long before I had to go login for work. When my alarm went off and I got up she actually thanked me for cuddling with her. Hmmm, perhaps a sign that this stack is starting to make her see me as a higher value male?

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Played a reinforcement session of all Emperor overnight. Did around 10 loops. Around loop 3-4 my energy shot up and my libido with it. In fact my sex drive became MONSTROUS. I had to “release” myself twice in a row just to calm down and still felt like I wanted to have sex afterward, just for the aspect of pleasure. Damn, who knew this could be digital viagra.

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Hope you don’t mind me saying so, but I feel disgust for your ex. I don’t know how you can stay chilled in that queasy situation, but Emperor is doing the business for you. Keep it up.

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@Davisnwc : Is that the series on Netflix. If yes, that is a dope one.

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