This is big fir me aswell. But it’s also a form of self-sabotage. The best thing you can do for yourself is sleep, especially if you’re taxed and the works demands don’t lessen.
Easier said than done, consistently.
1 Like
This last week was pretty intense.
First out shower broke down.
A quick Gemini conversation said it would cost me around 200€ to get it repaired.
The same day I got the news from my mechanic, that my car doesn’t only need new brakes but also a new Gearing Mechanism. That makes it 3k instead of 600€ I calculated with.
The next day, I had over 65 customer/hour because of the rapidly rising gas prices in Germany (officially because of the Iran war, unofficially because of greedy oil companies because German suppliers aren’t affected since they have long term contracts with other suppliers).
I had my first mental breakdown at work. I started to see double, I was shaking, couldn’t do much etc.
Made it somehow through the shift and the next day I felt normal again.
Our plumber came over pretty quickly, did the repair in under 15 minutes and wanted 30€.
So no big deal after all.
Plus I got the chance to ask for an offer for a new shower which my mom can get paid by the health insurance because she’s a nursing case.
So hopefully we get a new shower for free in the next two months.
Because of all of this, I decided to skip one listening day a land go straight into washout.
It was a good decision.
I’ll continue listening later today or tomorrow.
Also, I had a long conversation with my fiancee about moving out and getting our own flat in fall when my uncle gets his pension and can take care of his mother.
By then we will have our ADHD diagnosis, are properly medicated and can hopefully get a job.
Even if this shouldn’t be the case, I still could get a job with a roofer I know. Wouldn’t be my dream job, but at least it’s full of variety and your out in the open most of the time. And it pays around 1.800€ a month. So enough to pay for a decent flat and everything.
Now I just need to tell my family.
2 Likes
8 day Washout.
Really needed that.
09.03.2026
Monday
Listening Day 1
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL5:00 KB1 5:00
Listened before going to bed.
Started slow.
1 Like
This evening I was totally on edge, hyper Irritable.
But after a short time I realized it was recon and explained it.
And that from rather short loops.
The recon was much stronger than last time.
The only title I used longer was LX, but this custom has nothing about setting boundaries.
The only title I use atm that covers that area is Ascendet Love.
But I even reduced AL listening time by 25%
I’m confused.
Why did I get recon with the shorter exposure?
2 Likes
11.03.2026
Wednesday
Listening Day 2
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL 5:08 KB1 5:09
Listened late evening
1 Like
13.03.2026
Friday
Listening Day 3
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL 7:30 KB1 5:09
Listened late evening
15.03.2026
Sunday
Listening Day 4
Cycle 3
LX 2:00 AL 7:08 KB1 7:09
Listened late evening
Started a new approach to quit smoking with a med called Desmoxan. Cut my zigs by half or more.
2 Likes
Had a very shitty night.
I was fully awake until 4am then I slowly felt tired but couldn’t sleep at all. I lay wide awake in my bed. The the heat waves came. Undecided to sleep in the basement to not keep my fiancee awake. It’s cold. But a thin blanket was to much.
On the other hand, a duvet cover was to thin and left me freezing.
I feel asleep around 6 am and woke up 3.5 hours later.
I had an identical incident 2 days ago, though less intense.
This made me realize that this is recon.
I had a more extrem version of this on KB3 two years ago. Only then it wouldn’t go away the next day. It lastet for a couple of weeks and I even bought Paragon sleep to solve the issue.
It almost feels like Kundalini Syndrome, or at least a very light version of it, consisting just of heat waves and insomnia.
@Fire I’m looking forward to the update, convinced your experience with improving the tech solves this issue easily.
But besides this intensive recon, KB1 is one great title.
2 Likes
17.03.2026
Tuesday
Listening Day 5
Cycle 3
LX 1:30 AL 5:55 KB1 5:55
Listened in the morning.
This medication actually works for me. Desmoxan blocks the nicotine receptors in the brain. And you shouldn’t feel any desire to smoke. P
And I actually don’t.
First two days I reduced my number of cigarettes from 15-20 down to 5.
Yesterday was my first day without a cigarette in two years. 21 days to go.
Sadly, for my fiancee it’s not working at all. So we’ll see how this will influence my smoking habits.
Nevertheless, I slept rather well this night.
2 Likes
19.03.2026
Thursday
Listening Day 6
Cycle 3
LX 4:30 AL 6:08 KB1 6:09
Smoked one Yesterday. It was the last day it was allowed. I was so triggered by my grandmother.
Part hurt, part angry.
About LX, I forgot the time 
Let’s see how this turns out.
1 Like
21.03.2026
Saturday
Listening Day 7
Cycle 3
LX 2:30 AL 6:08 KB1 6:09
Listened earlier in the day to LX and KB1.
AL was shortly before sleep.
It feels like when I run KB1 earlier in the day, I’m done processing when it’s time to sleep.
I sleep far better that way.
Just noticed, I’m on day 7 already and didn’t make any real progress in regards to the listening time.
Might try longer loops on Monday.
25.03.2026
Wednesday
Listening Day 8
Cycle 3
LX 4:30 AL 7:00 KB1 7:00
Last night was shitty again, without using subs for a couple of days. Woke up with my heart racing, later my whole bed was soaked.
So a lot seems to be worked on during the night.
Today I was sleepy all day long. Fell asleep often when doing nothing physically active.
Also I found out (after observing my inner state) that often my tiredness is just a result of low dopamine. My brain seems to need a certain level of dopamine to stay focused and to stay awake. If this isnt the case I become sleepy.
Often a tragedy when I need to do something boring.
I came up with this theory when I noticed that I’m totally sleepy while doing nonogramms. But when I watch a tv show in the background I’m suddenly wide awake.
So I asked Gemini and he confirmed my findings.
Today though, I’m just tired from processing a lot and having slept really bad.
3 Likes
6am. Slept extremely bad again. Felt like I didn’t sleep at all, so my better half confirmed I was snoring.
Since it was two days in a row now and kinda unrelated to KB1, I did some more research and found out, that insomnia and the heat waves are also side effects of quitting nicotine.
Typical withdrawal and detox symptoms.
Hate it anyways.
3 Likes
Can you answer a few questions about Synergy: Venus Unveiled? Your name comes up a lot when I search for it.
How potent is the aura in Chosen of Venus?
Does the aura manifest only romantic love or other types of love as well?
Is Blue Skies intense? It says “you’ll be able to glimpse beyond the normal veil of reality and instead grasp at something much more infinite.”
Is the emotional healing in Depths of Love easy to run?
21.04.2026
Tuesday
Listening Day 1
Cycle 4
LX 1:00 PZzz 0:15 GA1 0:15
Took a long washout and a hiatus from the forum as well.
Main reason was because withdrawal symptoms form quiting smoking were quite intense. Two weeks when I was barely able to sleep. Waking up when I actually fell asleep quite often because my blanket was wet and cold.
I think this phase of the withdrawal is mostly done and I’m ready to use subs again.
In the meantime quite a few interesting subs were dropped. And two made it in my stack.
The Stabilizer was actually the reason I chose Ascension a few years ago. It wasn’t that present then, but the objectives of the stabilizer were my objectives for choosing Ascension back then.
I’d love to upgrade my AL Custom, but I’d love to have it with Stage 1 instead of Stage 2.
Yesterday when I planned my stack, it became pretty obvious, that I need to continue with LX. Not only was it an investment that yet has to pay off but it’s also the biggest goal in my life.
The Stabilizer works on the practical side of things and replaces Ascendet Love. Maybe I’ll get a name embedded Version for the next cycle. Maybe with summertime. Thought I have to admit that I only skimmed the copy yet. But it reads great.
I decided to drop Khan Black for the moment.
It cleared a lot of chunk. My energetic channels are much cleaner now, I’m healing much faster now, also my antahkarana doubled in size. Though I’m not sure if this anything to do with KB.
KB will get an upgrade at a point this year, then I’ll start it anew anyways, so I decided to run new subs with new tech until then.
So I chose Paragon sleep. Not only is my sleep still problematic sometimes from stoping to smoke, but my ADHD Revenge Bedtime Procrastination is and always has been a major problem for me. So one or two cycles should help immensely.
2 Likes
23.04.2026
Thursday
Listening Day 2
Cycle 4
PZzz 0:15 GA1 0:15
Realized that I’m using 3 ZPU Preview titles now so, I’ll follow the new schedule.
The two new titles in one day, LX on the other.
I can’t say to much about results. It’s a mixed box of chocolates.
My fiancee and I decided to separate for the nights because I’m snoring extremely at the moment because my tonsils are swollen (recovery from quitting cigarettes).
It had the effect that we both started sleeping way later then in with of us used to do when we were sleeping together.aybe because there’s no one seeing us staying up late, so we can do so without having a bad conscience?
But my night started early in the morning and didn’t last for more than 5 hours for the last couple of days. For that, I’m still surprisingly fit.
Maybe this is like a reset. Realize stuff about sleeping habits and the why behind certain issues so I can tackle them head-on?
On the Stabilizer front, there’s not to much to tell. I opened one suspicious letter right after it arrived. Got some shit done. More than usual? No it sure about that. But titles often take their time until I notice their doing.
1 Like
25.04.2026
Saturday
Listening Day 3
Cycle 4
LX 1:15
Today was strenuous.
When I arrived for breakfast, my family told me, that my grandma fell while getting up.
I then realized that she suddenly has walleyes.
All tests for stroke were negative.
A doctor is not an option. Simply mentioning this is bringing her close to a heart attack. Not even to mention a hospital. That would be her certain death.
I did a lot of energetic cleaning of her head today.
She’s improved over the day. She even had the strength again to get up alone. Which she didn’t have this morning. That’s why she fell in the first place.
I’m stressed out because of this.
Let’s he how she does tomorrow.
Whats that?
When you can’t focus both eyes on the same goal but one eye looks kind in a different direction.
1 Like
A couple of days ago I found one of my white whales. One of the childhood memories that are so tiny and rare, and you can’t really remember much only that it was important, fascinating or curious.
For me, one of these white whales was a comic. I remembered three different stories, or at least images from these stories and minor plot elements. So I gave all the details to Chatgpt and after tweaking the prompt I really got the answer I was a looking for.
When I found the comics online and read them, it was really disappointing though. It was just a rather short story (like 18 pages max).
It lacked the fun, the mystery, the tension.
And while reading one of the three comics a second time, searching for the wonder, I actually found it.
*It was there, the whole time. *
I just couldn’t see it anymore because of the way I learned to read in the last three decades (and not just read. It seems like I do everything in that fashion). I do it fast.
Not superficial. I’m not skimming either.
But I was simply getting the story from the text.
Not from the Art.
When I realized that , everything changed.
I took my time to marvel at the images. To let them bloom in my mind. To let them tell their story as well.
And there it was again. The Wonder.
Suddenly everything made sense again. The fascination of that comic was there again.
I allowed myself to dice deep into the imagery world and it took me. Captivated me.
@SaintSovereign After all this time with Wonders of Life I slowly start to feel the fascination in everything again, as I did as a child.
Next step is, that I’m gonna order a book about connecting with natural spirits like elves and gnomes etc.
They played a huge role in my kindergarten days.
Maybe they can bring back even more magic to my life.
01.05.2026
Friday
Listening Day 4
Cycle 4
GA1 0:30 PZzzz 0:30
05.05.2026
Tuesday
Listening Day 5
Cycle 4
GA1 0:45 PZzzz 0:45
I also notice that with ZPU Preview I stretch listening times more apart.
And I really feel results with those two.
Only time is scarce now.