The MALKUTH Catharsis (Malkuth Journal)

Journals - Custom Subliminals
#143

Yes, this was kind of a packed morning, in some ways.

There was the early morning subliminal listen and then meditation.

Then I fell back asleep. Put on a talk by Dr. Raymond Moody, and fell asleep to that. I only remember feeling that I liked him. But I don’t remember much of what he said, right now. I dreamt. A pretty vivid dream that ended at what was going to be a fight or conflict. But my alarm went off before it got going. The odds seemed in favor of my getting my ass beat. The cafe/restaurant in a middle of nowhere town was filled with people who all knew each other, and I had inadvertently offended one of them.

The hilarious part was that when it happened, the guy I’d offended disappeared, and I realized, ‘Oh my god. He’s going to get ready. They have so little going on in this town that this fight is going to be the most interesting event here, and he’s literally going to get changed and to get hyped up for it’.

Then the ding of my meditation bell/alarm. And I had 25 minutes to get showered and get in a taxi.

Two meetings back to back. Then a 40 minute lull, after which I met with a prospective client for supervision and consultation.

During that interaction I did not ‘sell myself’ at all. I have to admit, I’m a big fan of giving people the option to not like me and to not choose me.

As we met, I explicitly told her this. I mentioned one or two points about my current background that might lead her to want to work with someone else. And I told her that I supported her to make whatever choice she wished to make. But that if we worked together it would work like so on and so on.

That’s actually what led me to want to post to the Revelation of Spirit thread. I was thinking about how my active archetype prioritizes authenticity over impressing or persuasion.

Truth is, there’s always so much going on, that I don’t even remember to post most of it. The other day, for example, I got an intuitive nudge to delve into the tarot. And on a different note, I’ve finally picked up some study materials related to professional licensure again. I also returned to my rowing machine workout. And at the same time as all of that, I’m contemplating the avenues by which I can add real benefit to people’s lives. And on and on.

I guess there’s a lot going on.

But right now I mainly feel like I’m vegging a litle. Hesitating before jumping back in.

Okay.

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#144

20 or 30 small swallows soaring and dive-bombing outside of my office window.

Listening to this clever person describe Schoenberg.

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#145

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step by step

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#146
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#147

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(The second is my favorite art but I have to give respect to original artist Darrell K. Sweet.)

I’m still fortunate enough to be listening through the Wheel of Time with my son. We are in Book 4: The Shadow Rising, and just got through one of my favorite sections, The Battle at the Two Rivers. (He was already sleeping partway through and so will need to play it again.)

Love that entire sequence.

The first time I listened to it, I was so lucky to also be listening to Adiemus by Karl Jenkins. It was the most perfect accompaniment. This time I just listened to the story alone; but I still remember how stirring and thrilling the combination was.

So I’m honor of that time:

This is just perfect Wheel of Time music in general; the purity, the beauty, the honor.

Great music for a great tale.

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#148

Do you listen to Schönberg?
I had to listen to most of the works he named in the video in school. At first it was brutal and disgusting. But I needed to listen to them so often to understand them, that at one point, I suddenly experienced its beauty.
It’s strange to describe, but it’s there.

I have to say I liked his free tonal pieces, when he was still working with tonal centers, more than the later ones, when he already invented his dodecaphonical principles.

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#149

Forgot that our building is doing routine maintenance today. No electricity and no lifts. So after my quick morning workout, I got treated to an impromptu cool water shower and then got to walk down the stairs. (I’m actually a person who generally prefers stairs to lifts; but the stairwells in our building are not anywhere I want to walk on a regular basis.)

Told my 10:30 I’d arrive at 10:40. And now I’m almost there.

Meditation this morning was good. How’s that for riveting prose?

Anyway, it’s a little difficult to describe. Like trying to describe the overall movements of waves in a harbor.

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#150

It was just hitting me that the instrumentation in Head Over Heels by Tears for Fears is amazing.

The funny part is I haven’t listened to it yet. Probably haven’t listened in a very long time. I’m just replaying it in my memory, and it’s like, ‘wait a minute. how did they come up with that part?’

Very talented composers.

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#151

Full loops of my two programs today.

Gradually built up to this, but we’re here now.

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#152

The two programs that I’m running are the exact perfect programs that I need to be running. They match my goals, desires, aspirations extremely well.

At the same time, or maybe precisely because of the above, I have a lot of heavy lifting to do with them. I’m dealing with some of my longstanding circumstances, habits, and patterns.

This is how it is.

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#153

Another ‘secret’ of meditation

(beware of ever asking me a question @HumanBean )

In some cases, you do not have to make changes happen. All you have to do is stop ignoring the changes that have been going on the whole time. You don’t have to change yourself to become miraculous. You just need to slow down long enough to notice that you have been a miracle the entire time.

If you just sit down and let your mindbody be for a while, you will start to notice a lot of strange and interesting things that it is doing.

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A human bean's journal
#154

The Theory and Practice of Phenomenological Facilitation

The other day (26 May) as I was sitting in meditation that title popped into my head as something that I might write.

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#155

Today’s schedule was kind of interesting.

I had an 11 am meeting planned. On Zoom.

Part of my spiritual practice is doing magickal workings.

Did one this morning, and was planning to meditate right afterwards. Leaving me 8 minutes to shower and dress before the meeting. Probably a questionable plan. And probably for that reason, just before I was about to meditate, I saw that the person had WhatsApped me requesting to push the meeting earlier by 15 minutes. (Funny because I was opening WhatsApp to request that we make it later by 5 minutes.) I agreed, and as a result did not meditate in the morning, and instead showered and cooked myself a delicious breakfast. Two eggs, fried. Diced portobello mushroom, 1. And a raw yellow bell pepper. Delicious. Capped it off with a miniature raspberry yogurt. Finished cooking and eating just in time for the meeting.

Met, and then got into a taxi to work at the office.

At around 5:45 pm started thinking about whether I’d return home to meditate or just do it in the office. I have privacy here at work. So it can technically work, and I do it very ocassionally. This is probably the 3rd or 4th time in 2 years.

Eventually decided to do it here. At first I sat in a chair, which I do not like.

Then I decided to lie on my back on the floor. Much better position.

Had a pretty interesting experience of it. Cognitively, there was still a bit of ‘preoccupation’ or activity of some sort. Yet, there was an opening, settling, and unfolding process happening in the background at the same time. I really appreciated that.

and that’s my story.

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#156

As long as you’re trying to understand and explain people through an egocentric frame, you’re going to be dealing with cartoonish, flat, and corny versions of people.

No one’s place and meaning in this world can be reduced to simply the ways that they treat you or the ways that they make you feel or impact you.

Not saying those things are not parts of the picture; but to treat them as the entirety of the picture is fatally flawed, and is, ironically, sentencing yourself to life in an impoverished world.

(This very abstract statement was brought on by my reflections on women’s behaviors and the feminine and the ways that we, men and women, often try to make sense of it.)

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#157

Idm, thanks! Trying again this weekend

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#158

What’s some stuff you practice to prevent yourself from seeing those flat and cartoonish representations of people while simultaneously protecting yourself? I got hurt for a lot of years trying to consistently give people the benefit of the doubt vs trusting my own intuition and perceptions.

Trying not to turn this into a ask Malkuth thread lol. This one just caught my eye.

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#159

  1. Make sure you’re (reasonably) safe/good/etc.

  2. From that position, invest significant time in looking at (or imagining) life as it is experienced by other people who are not you, and who have nothing to do with you.

That’s it in a nutshell. But let’s be clear, I’m writing about this because I’m still working on it.

Those two brief points represent a project that takes centuries and lifetimes to progress.

Generally, if I’ve truly mastered something, I don’t spend lots of time thinking about it again and again.

The things I write about are things I’m trying to work through and process. As in right now. Haven’t mastered them.

It’s just that I have this thing where I download insights and connections. It’s always happened to me throughout life. It’s like a metaphysical GPS. But that’s primarily conceptual and intellectual. The body is where things really count (in my opinion). And it involves a much longer process to learn and deeply integrate things on that level than it does to type insights into a post.

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#160

Oh yeah, I’m under no impression you’ve mastered this. I understand how difficult it can be to pull ourselves from that egocentric mindset especially as it pertains to our own survival.

So this is interesting though. Does anything facilitate those downloads? Or do they just appear out of nowhere? I seem to have something similar except I don’t get things directly. It’s situations or people, or random signs. Like me commenting in your thread or randomly happening upon this one specific journal entry today. This is probably a springboard to something else and I don’t know what it is yet but I’ll probably get it within a day or two.

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#161

Indeed.

That’s insightful.

You’re in the process of birthing and midwifing your jewels and it’s a good thing to be able to recognize that while the process is happening.

It’s fun and an honor to have a supporting or cameo role in your unfolding process. Thanks.

I see it as a natural process. Partly conscious and intentional; partly organic, natural, and unconscious. I think it would happen either way; but the fact that I love, enjoy, and value it encourages it to be expressed even more.

One thing I do know though is that it’s been happening for my entire life. And I love it.

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#162

You’ve definitely planted a few seeds over the years for me. So I always appreciate your perspective on things.

And this right here is something I’m learning to value too. If we’re going with the GPS metaphor, I was given some pretty strong directions then got angry when I was lost after disregarding them lol. We really do have a capacity for finding the best path for ourselves. It’s a remarkable thing.

I just realized I ran Ascension Chamber this morning so this might be a mini manifestation too. That’s a sneaky sub.

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