Alright.
One step at a time.
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One of my pet peeves is when people justify a given viewpoint or belief by saying, āWhen you get to the end of your life, this is what youāre going to think!ā
People at the end of a thing can still be wrong about that thing. Thereās no guarantee that the views or ideas that you have at that point will somehow magically and automatically be correct.
Anyone who has ever failed a test can tell you: when they got to the last question and put their pen down, they still did not know the right answers.
If you get to your last moment and think, āI should have had more sex and not worked so hardā or āI should have spent my time adopting baby rabbits and training them in kung fuāā¦.
You might be wrong.
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Last post was half an opinion, half a bit.
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Interesting yesterday.
A friend of mine teaches a course on the science of consciousness, and once a year, heāll invite me and sometimes another friend, who he knows are interested in the topic, to sit and have a chat with him in front of the group.
Iāve done this for about 4 or 5 years now.
Yesterday it came around again. And, since I only do this once a year, it was more noticeable to me how my thoughts and perspective are changing about these things. It would probably seem subtle to someone looking from the outside, but from the inside, I could sense this increasing orientation towards heart and love. I donāt really mean emotional love. Itās more like an orienting reality or value.
Another vague post from me.
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The ontological ground evolves even as the route traveled upon that ground also itself evolves. Sometimes I focus on one aspect, sometimes the other.
Sometimes you change the world; sometimes you change yourself.
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A Result and a Proto-Result
Result
So, in the last 4 or 5 years, an alternate income-stream to my pirmary paid job has very organically developed. I did not force it or push it to come into being. It happened very organically. Word of mouth. Professional encounters. And so on. Just led to this current situation in which, typically, Iām spending 5 to 7 hours a week on this alternate work; and being paid for it.
This is a Result and it definitely took a leap in the past year. I could see the effects of Genesis: Mogul and Cashflow Catalyst. It hasnāt catapulted me to a new tax bracket or anything, but itās real, tangible, and noticeable.
Proto-Result
Iāve noticed that now that things have picked up a bit, Iām lagging a bit on invoicing and receipts. And Iāve been meaning to work on this aspect of things. A receipt is a show of respect and care to the person who has paid you. Itās a kind of āThank Youā and an acknowledgment. And an invoice is making it easier for someone to give you what you want. Itās a show of respect to yourself and to the other person. This is the work we have done together. Itās real, itās meaningful, and it has value.
So, Iāve got about an hour right now, and Iām going to spend part of it on this task: preparing and sending out Invoices and Receipts. That feels like a proto-result. A result-in-progress.
Here we go.
[amendment]
I think this push to get this task completed is also related to Victoryās Call, Free Pass (obliquely), and Genesis: Mogul.
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I often discuss and clarify my thoughts through interaction with Language Learning Models.
Tonight, I expressed my current state of mind and place of mind with Gemini. My favorite is probably Claude, but that account of mine is running very low, so I moved it over to Gemini.
Here are my prompts, i.e., my side of the conversation. They may stand in well for a journal entry:
(Iāve removed Geminiās responses. Some of them were pretty great, but theyāre too long and a little too didactic for a journal entry.)
Here as I see it is my problem: I live, think, work, and create from a phenomelogically-oriented paradigm. This is simply who I am.
Yet, the time in which I live is dominated by a materialist paradigm that is implicit and inherent in how we frame, develop, justify, and establish reality, truth, and knowledge. I am incompatible with that paradigm to a significant degree. I respect it, but it is not my home.
And in fact, I have been unable to find an intellectual home.
I came close once. For some time, I was considering going into Jungian analytical psychology and Hillmanian archetypal psychology. Interestingly, even those felt too āwordyā and insufficiently experientially sophisticated.
Iāve come to find that many people nowadays have no concept of āexperiential sophisticationā. Experience is mindless data. It is only animated by analysis and measurement. The āfeltā is disregarded. I reject this categorically. To me, it is ridiculous.
experience is not only imbued with feeling, meaning, and personal significance.
What Iām saying is that Felt Experience is a form of intellection. A disregarded form of intellection.
The two thinkers who are my oases right now are Eugene Gendlin and Milton Erickson. They in both of their own ways, live squarely in the realm of the FELT.
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I havenāt found the solution to my search yet, but I notice that Iām talking about it more openly. So, that seems like a form of progress.
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Take your own interests seriously enough to organize your life around them.
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Weird moment just now.
Woke up and went to bathroom. Phone was out of battery so I plugged it in. iPad was off.
So I didnāt have a clock and didnāt know what time it was.
Said to myself, as iPad was powering on: āHmmā¦ Iād like it to be earlier, I but I guess itās already 9 oāclock. What is it? 9:28?ā
At that moment, the Apple logo on the iPad blipped away, and the time became visible.
yup.
exactly 9:28.
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Somethingās definitely going on; but Iām a little too clueless to know what it is.
Staying tuned.
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Many synchronicities yesterday.
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Havenāt meditated yet. Looks like weāre doing another nighttime run.
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If you share music with beings who love that music, dancing is a natural response.
This is the same with prayer and magick.
In this case,
The Music is Intention
The Dancing is Causality
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If you want to be known in this life, then you have to express yourself.
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The ways that I bring my attention and intention to the world determine in large part the experience that I have of the world.
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A principle. A value. A program.
A commitment. An intention.
What color are they?
How much do they weigh?
Can you draw me a picture of one and describe its physical characteristics?
Are they real?
Do they exist?
Yes, of course they do.
But they exist in a non-materialist context.
Real.
And non-material.
Realer than material.
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Bookmarking.
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I still love this stack so much.
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Be honest. You donāt actually know where most of your concepts and paradigms came from. You just absorbed them from other people.
This is not a crime. On the contrary, itās literally the human condition. Memetics and Mimesis.
But it does also mean that much of the time, you donāt know what youāre talking about. (also the human condition.)
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