The long haul: Pinnacle

[x3m]

Ok, I’m quick with my contemplations…

I was able to transfer the module Synergy: Tale of the Dragon (4) over to my RM:V custom (that I will have rebuild accordingly soon), it will fit in there even better because it is skill based and based upon expressing myself to an audience.

This gave me on free spot that I’m going to use for Synergy: Wonders of Life (2). This module speaks to me, so I think I really want to have it in my custom. I hope that the MDFY: Freedom will contribute that any change regarding the freedom scripting will come gradually and naturally, I don’t need disruption but evolution is welcome. I feel that the two modules of Synergy: Wonders of Life are an essential part of youthfulness so I had to give it a place. Combined with the maturity scripting of EmpD this will be incredible, wise but still full of life. The zest for life. Love that.

Also I’m going to replace Virtue Series: Kindness with Code of Loyality. It dawned to me that I was unsure about this VS module, as I already thought about changing it with VS: Patience. I think I can be kind on my own volition. Kindness to myself will also be covered by Inner Voice. Kindness in regards to others will come naturally when I’m good to myself. On the other hand, loyalty has been underrated in my past experiences so now is the time to develop this virtue. This will also help me to create healthy bonds with others.

[x3m]

The only thing that sticks out in my EmpD+KB3 custom is male enhancement (pun intended). But I do regard this as part of good health obvisouly and good connections also. And big d*ck energy is grounded energy which goes very well with EmpD.

[x3m]

Made another change to my outlined custom. I’m going to efface Male Enhancement. This is because I realized after one week of EmpD, that it gives me enough erection quality so that I don’t need ME. I think the idea to include ME was somehow influenced by ego, so if at any point I really want to follow that route, I always can use BDLM. One more reason is that I got the impression that BDLM and ME make my customs somehow quite sexual. But I really want to differentiate sexual energy more from sexuality and eroticism.

Instead of ME I will incorporate Mimisbrunnr because wisdom and making the right decisions seems quite important to me as someone in search for truth and a good life.

And speaking of ego, I’ll also include Formless Clarity which will enhance the stillness of mind and clear vision of existence. This spot became available after shifting Inner Voice to my RM:V custom, I think it will fit in there very nicely as well.

The EmpD+KB custom is becoming something more spiritual now. I think I’ll have to start Alchemist at some point soon, the first Sub that I bought and never ran… But also RoS comes to mind. Anyway, I’ll take my time with my EmpD+KB custom first.

One thing I’m not that sure about is if I should use KB3 or KB4 in this custom. Since KB4 did not give me much after four cycles, I’m very much inclined to use KB3. My concern with KB3 is that it might lead to too much energy that goes astray. While it was nice to experience this during KB3 to wake up relatively early, I still value my sleep and I don’t want KB3 to mess with my sleeping patterns. Will need to really find ways to use the KB energy in salutary ways.

[x3m]

Alea iacta est - it is done, I am confident that I found the right modules for my new custom that I’m going to name:

Esse quam videri

#1 Emperor Daddy Core
#2 Khan Black Stage 3 Core

#3 MDFY: Freedom

#4 Chosen of Venus
#5 Synergy: Way of Mercy (Way of Understanding, Empath, Mercy Protocol)

#6 Transcendental Connection
#7 You Are Not Alone
#8 Safety Net
#9 Code of Loyalty
#10 Mimisbrunnr

#11 Gratitude Embodiment
#12 The Flow
#13 Formless Clarity
#14 Dopaminergic Revival
#15 Virtue Series: Temperance

#16 Synergy: Wonders of Life (Spiritual Freedom, The Wonder)
#17 Synergy: Harmonic Conflux (Stress Displacement, Harmonic Singularity)
#18 Synergy: Preordained Vitality (Asclepius, Serum X, Fusion Optimized, Health Codex, Radiating Health)
#19 Synergy: Energetic Transcendence (The Architect, Energetic Development XI, Metamorphosis, Energetic Restoration, Energetic Augmentation)
#20 Synergy: 42 (Wheel of Creation, Void of Creation)

There have been some minor changes still but now I really like what this custom has to offer. I’m going to update my RM:V custom soon but will run each custom individually for one cycle to get a feel for each one. Then I will combine them. I’ll keep this journal updated with my thoughts and results.

[RVconsultant]

@x3m

Esse quam videri

English, please.

[Lion]

@RVconsultant

@x3m

Esse quam videri

English, please.

He named his custom after a Latin expression.

Was wondering what it meant myself so I looked it up:

"Esse quam videri is a Latin phrase that translates to “to be rather than to seem”. It is the official motto of North Carolina and is engraved on the state’s coat of arms and great seal.

The phrase originated from a 44 B.C. essay on friendship by Roman author and politician Cicero, titled De Amicitia. Similar sentiments can also be found in the works of Greek poet Eschylus and philosopher Socrates.

North Carolina adopted esse quam videri as its motto in 1893. At the time, North Carolina was one of the few states without an official motto, and the only one of the original 13 states without one. The phrase was selected by Walter Clark, a historian and judge from Halifax County, who drafted the bill for the General Assembly to consider. Nash County Senator Jacob Battle introduced the bill.

Other groups have also used esse quam videri as their motto, including Truro School, a Methodist school founded in Cornwall in 1880."

Kinda cool.

[x3m]

“Esse quam videri” was also the motto of one of my mentors, Stephen R. Covey. In my eyes, his legacy is still absolutely relevant today.

[x3m]

And here’s my new music related custom that I’m going to name “Virtuoso di Musica” which is not very original because there’s one module in the Q-store with this exact name, but I like it. It is v4 if I count all antecedent music customs. With Eqv and VdM I finally managed to cover most of my aspirations with only two titles. Big thanks to Saint for RM:V and to Fire for EmpD!

Virtuoso di Musica

#1 RM:V St1 Core
#2 RM:V St2 Core

#3 New Skills Experience Core

#4 RAIKOV
#5 Cosmic Navigator

#6 Dance Mastery
#7 Elegance
#8 Subconscious Flow
#9 Master’s Coordination
#10 Unlimiter

#11 Joie de Vivre
#12 Natural Winner
#13 Inner Voice
#14 King’s Radiance
#15 Approachability Aura

#16 Synergy: Voice is the Law (Emperors Voice, Voice Master)
#17 Synergy: Tale of the Dragon (Dragon Tongue, Song of Joy, True Sell, Story Teller)
#18 Synergy: Semper Praesens (Ego Adsum, Everpresent)
#19 Synergy: Glory Incarnate (Gloryseeker, The Spotlight, Lifeblood Fable)
#20 Synergy: Beyond Seduction (Instant Spark, Focused Arousal, Long Range Seduction)

[x3m]

First loop of my Eqv custom this morning, full 15min. No signs of overload, I’ve got the impression that since NSE the input is really smooth.

Within two hours I had a huge manifestation of YANA, Safety Net and maybe Code of Loyalty. It’s incredible, I still cannot believe it. I don’t want to write about details because it’s too personal for me right now, but an old-time friend reached out to me, out of the blue, and is going to lend me his helping hand with one major issue of mine that will shape my future like no other decision in the last maybe ten years.

[x3m]

Just knowing that MDFY: Freedom is part of my custom takes my focus off the results. I don’t expect anything to happen. This is the first time that I have this feeling. Before, with all my customs I had an intention and tried to look for things that confirm that it is working towards the intended goal. With Eqv which contains MDFY: Freedom, I trust that everything will fall into place.

And here’s the pivotal part: I don’t wait for results to show up but instead take action more easily. When I am looking for results, I stay trapped in the position of watching my surroundings and inner landscape, searching for signs of acknowledgment. When I simply have a knowing that I will reap what I sow, I focus on the important part: sowing.

[x3m]

Not by force but through power. This sums up my current impression of Eqv.

[x3m]

My first cycle with Eqv has come to an end and I usually would resume with a short five-day washout but I got some intuitive nudges that I should take a longer washout right now, so that’s what I’m going to do, 21 days is scheduled. The last washout that was even four weeks long took place in March this year. So It’s time to have another one.

I did one cycle of EmpD and then one cycle of Eqv (EmpD+KB3) until now. Here are some impressions:

• strong masculine voice is covered with EmpD, I do not miss Emperor’s voice or Voice is the Law in my custom
• while BDLM will give more results, EmpD does a good enough job down there, erections are full and strong
• resilience is off the charts: I’m right now facing some of the toughest decisions in my entire life and while I was an emotional wreck a couple of weeks ago, I really can keep my emotions in check, they do not control me and my behaviour at this moment
• speaking about control: I am much more able to keep my boundaries up and do not let me get derailed by emotional attacks from others
• I finally can see more clearly now who I truly am and what I truly want; I am more able to discern what ideas I was following that were not mine
• a very interesting observation for me: last year around this time I was doing two cycles with KB3 as a major with my VdM(v2) custom and the energy of KB3 was very much concentrating in my lower dantian area and not spreading very much; now the energy does not feel that strong but is really covering my whole being, it does not get stuck but can flow very freely; this might be because I did continue with KB with a second round since then, maybe because I use KB3 with MDFY:Freedom right now or maybe the Synergy: Energetic Transcendence does also help with that; in the end, the reason does not matter that much to me, the result is what is important → I feel that I can use the energy much better than last year.

That’s it for now. Maybe if I come up with some more insights, I’ll post them here. During my Eqv run I also felt a strong pull towards DR:LD because it might help me with my current situation. That would mean that I have to postpone my VdM custom but I think that I should resolve my current situation first.

I’m looking very much forward to what will come during my washout and my coming cycle with Eqv.

[x3m]

Two thoughts that came to my mind since yesterday:

• My skin has become smoother, I have some scars in my face and they appear not as prominent anymore. Also my face has some kind of radiance, like a glow from inside. Don’t think that this is only EmpD but also Synergy: Preordained vitality.
• In an older post I wrote about KB (mainly stage 3, Main Disc. Thread - Khan Black: The Crucible (Custom Core Now Available!) - #2401 by x3m): “can be used to boost your efforts in achieving your goals or strengthening your energetic aspects, depending on your personal preferences and aspirations → 4/5: it really helped me to work on my creative goals as musician. All the extra energy that I had could be directed into my musical ventures.”
  Now that I think about it, it seems to contradict what I was writing yesterday in my last bulletpoint. But this is not the case. Looking back, I was able to direct the energy from KB3 to my musical aspirations but it took me some serious effort and willpower to move the energy from my lower dantian to my creative work. Right now it feels like the energy is flowing much more freely and without resistance - it’s effortless as I would describe it now.

[x3m]

Note to myself:

[x3m]

After one and a half week of washout I already feel as if my mental space has cleared. I can feel some kind of “default mode” that I’m in that is saying: processing of the big chunks is done.

[x3m]

The last time I listened to my VdM(v3) custom was on October 23rd. After that I’ve done my cycle with Eqv exclusively and now my washout. Yet, the VdM custom really bloomed yesterday (five weeks later!), my singing all of a sudden took such a big leap forward, I really was surprised by my own emotional connection to the songs I sang!

[x3m]

My washout ends on Sunday. Monday will be the beginning of my new “season”. I feel good, my mind is clear and my emotions are calm. These three weeks of washout were absolutely necessary. Apart from the VdM scripting I didn’t experience much bloom.

[x3m]

I’m going to stick to my initial plan: next cycle will be VdM (RM:V 1+2) exclusively. When the new Genesis:TAoHaJ is available, I’ll consider if I’m going to add it as a second sub for this round.

In order to evaluate the RM:V custom, I’m going to do two things:

1. Checking the rhythmic part with Michael Hedges’ Aerial Boundaries. I haven’t played this piece for a couple of years and I’v been struggeling to get it right ever since. It is quite difficult to really nail it and I never managed to do this. What I’m going to do is to just watch the video with the live version and Andy McKee’s take on it daily for three weeks and then try to play it (with tabs). Let’s see how much of it I can take in just from hearing and watching it (my custom has the RAIKOV module in it too).
   Michael Hedges’ live version
   Andy McKee’s interpretation

2. Practice the singing with a song that I do already have a good feel for and see if I can take it even further. I think it is a very suitable song because it carries a lot of emotion.
   Corey Taylor - Snuff Acoustic

[x3m]

My life circumstances have changed dramatically since starting this thread. My EqV custom gave me the strength to go through this profound transformation. I didn’t expect that only one cycle of EqV made such a huge difference. My goals have not changed though so I need to adjust my tools that fit my current situation better. It will still be EqV with EmpD and VdM with RM:V 1+2 but carefully replanned to help me further. More to come.

[x3m]

I finished the first cycle of VdM solo and then started a second one last week. During the first cycle I was a little sick and didn’t sing much. But my guitar playing really got better with the rhythm parts of Aerial Boundaries. The visualisation from RM:V 1 is mind blowing - I just watched the YouTube videos and was able to absorb the piece to an extend that I could easily replicate a lot of it when I picked up the guitar myself. I already knew that visualisation plays a huge part in any high level sports and music but experiencing it firsthand is something else.