The Fame Game (Success)

Journals - Major Programs
#42

Started my new stack today, initially it was StarkU + Khan Stage One however I think I need to continue doing StarkQ + KhanQ. I haven’t entirely decided what stage as I’ve been doing some research and I’m assuming the way to go is to do it stage by stage and for 30 days minimum each.

I think I need to start with just Stark + Khan Stage 1 since I have a lot of insecurities and stuff to break down - or that I think need to break down. I’m assuming I’ll have have a lot of things to break down. I’m quite an internal person who struggles a lot with showing dominance, and people treat me like a push around. I hate bothering people, feeling annoying, etc and I want to break all that shit down. It’s vile to me. I hate feeling weak. I hate the feeling. I really want to achieve my goals and I feel like this is a good stage to work with.

Anyone have an input?

My goal, as you’ve probably seen through my journals/posts on the board, I want to become a social celebrity and alpha of high value in whatever area I need to be. I work in both dance/choreography and on this app and this app is going super well BUT I want more, constantly wanting to improve - same goes with dance. My boyfriend seemingly does better, people love him (bare in mind, I had my sub on loud during sleep with StarkQ) and I want more, I want to be the one people love, I want to be the one people value and all that kind of stuff. Time to go through my break down and get rid of these vile beliefs holding me back.

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#43

StarkQ alone has tons of dominance and success scripting. I’d go with StarkQ and Beyond Limitless. That combo will make you exceptionally productive, and it has “social alpha” stuff in it. I suspect that these two alone will get you exactly where you want to be.

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#44

What if you made a custom Stark sub with khan stage 1 or just the I am module?

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#45

For sure, it does - Stark has plenty. I just think I want even more and that Khan will give me what I’m missing for sure as my life doesn’t involve sex at the moment, considering I’m in an open relationship, and all other things I haven’t dwelved into on here which will be beneficial from KhanQ.

You’ve raised a good point with Beyond Limitless however, especially now it’s been lifted to Ultima. I’ll put some more thought into this as I continue to use the current stack.

#46

Initially when I bought Khan I couldn’t afford a custom however I plan on making a StarkQ + Khan Stage 4 + EoG Stage 4 sub when I’ve had some experiences with the current stack. I just need to work out the modules to go with it.

#47

ACTION.

That’s currently my biggest fucking draw back right now. I know what I need to do and I’m just not doing it, I’m not going live when I need to and I’m relying on other things to get me through however that needs to stop like right now.

I was going to do Stage 1 + Stage 3 because of total action so it could give me some drive to push me towards my goals but I think I’m just going to focus on getting rid of these thoughts that tell me I’m not good enough in comparison to other people. I need the healing. I’ve had this insecurity issue for a while and I really need it to stop pulling me down from the greatness that I deserve to be in.

Anyway, I listened to Khan Stage 1 twice today and I snapped at my partner, I totally wasn’t here for his shit and I noticed I was pretty frustrated. I was also pretty savage about someone else that used to be a friend but no longer is. Nor do I care anymore.

I’m also feeling a lot more horny in general, more than usual even after a couple listens - great.

I genuinely feel like this is going to be a great match, along with BLU in the mix eventually - especially when I need to choreograph, I’m going to become unstoppable.

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#48

I’ve been wondering all day when I’m going to feel this break down (I increased loops) and yup…seems like its here now. Currently sat in the bath questioning everything, feeling like shit and wondering what the fuck I want to do. Questioning my friendships with people, blocking people who don’t come across as nice people and can’t take jokes etc.

Just feeling fed up right now, not sure if this is part of the healing but I’m hoping it is to be honest. I need to feel this way so I can stop making excuses etc.

Still can’t make up my mind if I should add Total Action to the mix, I need that feeling of guilt to push me into motivation. I feel like I should because it really should help with work.

Anyway, I need to talk about my goals.

  • I want to get into the best shape of my life. I’ve let myself go since May when I stopped Spartan and I stopped working out. I haven’t felt any desire to workout or eat properly. Nutrition has always been a problem. I’m sick of it. Tired of it in fact. I’m starting to gain weight and it needs to stop.

  • Last month I hit 400k in work and I want to hit 600k-800k this time. I want it so bad. I need to keep pushing and working as hard as possible for sure.

  • I need to get back into dance. I took a dance class today and omg it felt good to be back but I gave up too easily when it got a little harder than I could do - I hate that shit. That’s my sign I need to add Stage 4 for sure. Great. However a great point is that the mixture of using Limitless previously along with StarkQ in my stack has meant that it was so much easier to learn choreography (sounds contradicting because I said I gave up but I learnt way quicker than I normally did.).

Anyway, those are my goals for this month and I need to make them happen. They fit in with StarkQ and Khan for me.

#49

Truly feeling angry and aggression at the moment. I’m starting to realise what an absolute push over I’ve been in life - no more. I’m tired of being treated like crap and people feeling like they can treat me like shit and then get what they want.

I’m also sick of feeling inferior to others even though I put way more work than them, especially when I’ve seen the amount of work they put in. Again, no more.

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#50

Made my stack:

StarkQ X2
Khan Stage 1 X2
Khan Stage 4 X2

I know, a pretty dense stack but seems to be working already maybe? I’m still feeling the fed up stage as of yesterday. Tired of people doing better than me in life still - I’m assuming this is the healing stage? The what the fuck are you doing with your life stage? To the point that the app I’m with has been pissing me off more and more today and yesterday and I’ve decided to take a night off.

Got back into dancing today and did it on my stream. Still gave up a little as bits confused me but moves are much easier to learn and I’m remembering them so much easier than before. Thank the Lord.

Getting pissed off with people and cutting them from my life so much easier than before. I’ve been a people pleaser my whole life and now it’s getting to the point that I’m like…okay bye. Fantastic. Very necessary.

Let’s see where this takes us.

#51

Also being on the app and wasting my time is something I’m becoming aware of, I’m starting to get bored extremely easily - even more so than I normally do - this is interesting to me for sure. Getting straight to the point of things. I’m assuming this is something with the scripting for sure.

#52

Nothing major but before I continue and update, all actions are my own and nothing to do with the subs in terms of anger management issues or anything else

So, the other night got a little crazy. Nothing messed up but I felt so much anger and so much stress and disbelief at the way the world was treating me, or at least my view of the world was treating me that and how all the above in other posts were affecting me that I completely flipped.

I had a massive argument with my boyfriend to the point I smacked a box of fries in anger and flung them across the room - I was tired of being treated as a ‘weaker’ link which is what people have treated me as for years - even now. I’m tired of it. That moment, defined it for me. I stood up for myself against some things that were said and I may have had an anger issue however it also helped shine a light upon a lot of issues I was surpressing. I’m starting to realise a lot about my life. I’ve been sleep walking through life, honestly.

Things took a change for the better since then, I’ve been feeling better about myself and I’ve been trying to make my stack perfect.

Whilst I felt what I felt, I’d also say my stack has been pretty smooth so far so I upped the loops in terms of on repeat, I play my stack during the evening and it’s currently:

StarkT X2
Khan Stage 1 X2
Khan Stage 4 X2

X repeat - what I wake up on is the thing I let finish.

This morning I woke up so good. I had an on and off day but today I had so much energy and I’ve felt great. I’ve had an incredible bout of energy and all sorts and I just feel good.

Also, in regards to upping my stack - I was terrified of trying to StarkT again as it gave me massive things to work through/reconciliation.
However I truly believe it helped me with the feeling great aspect so I’ve decided to try it with three times a week X2 and the rest all rest days and both stages of Khan at least 5 times a week.

I may be talking to soon but I feel like the fact I’ve used subs now since maybe March (from Subclub anyway and Youtube) + the testing of Ultima and maybe even Limit Destroyer Ultima that my subconscious is allowing a smoother ride of StarkT which is great.

I felt like StarkQ needed more loops and I’d rather use StarkT and cut down on the loops needed for for the former. When I first started with StarkQ I don’t think there was a recommendation on how many plays were necessary and after speaking to AMASH I had StarkQ on repeat after he suggested that amount of use so I think I’ve kind of gotten use to that loop set - hence why I chose T over Q. I may even use U over T in a couple days and three it the three times a week for sure.

Possibly looking at making my future custom a T sub too. Just working out what exactly I need.

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#53

So, I keep updating my stack because I can’t decide on how I want to play it out - the stack is the same but I’m working on the perfect fit of how to play it.

It helps that StarkT and StarkU don’t require as many loops so playing T &/ U 3 days a week for me seems perfect to me. I played StarkU yesterday and I felt super productive. I actually had a great day yesterday on the app I was on and it was totally worth it.

I’m playing Khan Stage 1 & 4 on loop throughout the night and it seems to be working great. I don’t have any reconciliation yet.

I tried to explain this in my previous post but I feel like T/U (maybe especially U?) has helped me build up my subconscious capacity in turns of the amount of loops I can withstand. Hence why I need more of T than I used to - I used to feel terrible reconcilation with T but I did two loops on Sunday and felt great. Normally two loops would have bought my life into doubts and many other parts of reconcilation.

Anyway, this stack seems to be working for me. I’m waking up with so much energy and enjoyment for life so far. I feel quite limitless - probably due to Khan Stage 1 doing its healing, and I feel pretty creative. I feel like I’m gaining higher value and that I can talk more and easier which is great for someone who was/is shy. I’ve literally had great days since I changed the way I was playing it and pushed the loops higher (Khan) or changed the version of Stark to a different, more powerful, build. Fantastic :kissing_heart:

I’m back into dance now as our studio opened yesterday so I’m excited to see the creativity and fame that is bound to come with Stark and how people react to me as a higher value with Khan since this is my first interaction with people in dance since lock down happened. I made great results on the app but dance is where it’s really at.

Khan really seems to be erasing some limiting beliefs with Stage 1, things I was worried about before don’t seem to be phasing me as much and I feel quite powerful now compared to how I was. It’s still going to take some time but I think stage 1, until I make my custom, will be part of any stack I make from now on. Such incredible qualities.

I’m adding BLU to my stack for today too as I have to choreograph for a piece and would love since inspiration and a kick ass piece I could do. I’m excited to update on the results.

In terms of goals:

I think I’ve found a way to eat moderately with what I want and eat healthily** as it was such a struggle to do both and I can’t wait for the results of that - means I get to make myself healthy again as I was living off take aways and stopped working out. Dance is my workout for this week most likely and then next week I’ll be starting an exercise program along side dance so I’ll have a good mixture of both.

For nutrition I started using UPF (Ultimate Portion Fix) from Beachbody and just modified it to allow myself what I want to begin with. We’ll see how it goes. I’ll also be doing their workouts.

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#54

Khan Stage 1 and 4 seem to be running so smooth. I think I’ve been running them for the past two weeks and besides the first out burst that I had I haven’t had anything since. I’m way more open to speaking my mind now too. I had some drama last night, funnily enough, where someone who checks mine and my boyfriend’s profile constantly was spreading hate about us and knowingly lurks us on lives. I had absolutely no issue talking about it on stream where normally I’d be the person to worry about it and be polite. Not anymore.

Don’t get be wrong, being polite will always be part of me but when someone talks shit about me, and especially my friends, family members or boyfriend you’re going to be told about yourself, quite openly too. Especially when we’ve done absolutely nothing and you just hate on us because your success has …well, never really started for you and ours has steadily increased each month. Oh well. Seems that I’m still letting stuff off my chest.

Anyway, Khan is doing a great job so far - just read in the QL thread about people stacking Stage 1 of certain multis into the next stage that they do, I think this is a brilliant idea and I’m going to continue it. So when I want to focus mainly on reprograming or action I’ll ensure Khan Stage 1 is part of my stack. I think Stark and Khan have become my favourites to use so far. Every sub is incredible but there’s just some you prefer the qaulities to that make you the person you want to be, Khan and Stark are doing that for me so far.

Also read about Minds Eye as I want to start visualising my future more and I think that will help hugely with creativity so I’m really starting to take my time to come together with a custom that will build upon what I want. Creativity, dominance, playful joker/playboy, wealth are all what I want so this is going to be an interesting build for sure. I’m starting to think maybe Stark, EoG Stage 4 and then Minds Eye as my majors for a custom will be brilliant with one of the Khan Stages as my supplement. Saves me some money and also helps me achieve my goals…

In regards to how I’m feeling, with Khan running on loop throughout the night, T/U once every two days or swapping between the two and alternating each day I’m feeling great. Don’t seem to be hitting any reconcilation and I’m working hard. Total action in Stage 4 seems to be pulling me to do work and keeps reminding me - doesn’t necessarily make me feel like shit but I keep getting that - you need to do some work - nagging. Reprogramming also seems to be pulling through too - giving me a higher value and I’m talking to higher valued people too. Feels great for sure.

I’m waking up energetic as fuck early in the morning, I’m not going to sleep as late but I’m getting 5/6 hours and feeling fantastic. Have a bunch of energy and even if I’m tired I can pull through and do what I need to do. I’m listening to StarkU currently whilst chilling in the bath writing this and I think I’m in love with this sub. Pushes me through the day, makes me feel famous, social and all sorts - I can feel it pretty much after the sub when I’m going into streams and stuff - people call me out all the time.

I’m playing BLU in when I need inspiration so I listened to BLU on Tuesday at like 7am when I woke up and I got some mad inspiration for my choreography. The musicality was difficult and I was just like…uhhhh but I made a great choreography for it and I loved the rush it gave me. Definitely a great sub.

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#55

Taken the weekend off to allow everything to process. I think I’ve been on the subs for the past two weeks without a rest so I’m ready for some breathing space. My sleep is really weird, I feel kind of how I was feeling on Ultima during testing - my body is sleeping but my mind is awake. Kind of like an out of body experience but without it being out of body?

I know that I’m sleeping when my mind is awake but my body is dead to the world at the time. It’s like I can feel all of the processing if the subliminal happening and oh Jesus it might hit me hard considering I’ve done a lot. I’ve been super tired due to how dense my stack is and how much I’ve been playing it so I’m glad I’m allowing the processing of it all. I fell asleep for like 2-3 hours yesterday and still went to sleep quite early for me so the rest is definitely necessary. Can’t wait to start back up but this is needed.

I’m feeling great on these subs though. I’m waiting for Stage 4 to kick in a little bit more and I’m assuming a bit of reconcilation is hitting with me wanting to change to Stage 3 but I’ll stick with my stack for now and see how we get going. I know there’s a lot of limiting beliefs that still need healing with a lot of stuff in my life and some of them aren’t men/sexual related but I’m hoping Khan will erase any of limiting beliefs in terms of confidence that I have where I feel stupid and all that kinds of stuff.

There was a situation manifested where I needed to talk to someone and I didn’t have the confidence to talk to them about it but I felt lower and this is something that can’t ever happen again. I need to feel like I have the power/confidence to do this. I’m hoping this will be resolved by the next time I see them.

Things seem to be going well with this stack however and it might be one of my favourite stacks so hard as I’m gradually getting results over time. I’m still debating between which version of Stark to use but as I prefer to listen over night I may just keep it as my T for when I’m sleeping.

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#56

Wow I haven’t posted in nine days. I’ve been on here but I haven’t wanted to post In the journal.

Today, and over the weekend I am super tired. Going to see how I feel doing my subs tomorrow but think I’ve gone a little overboard on the loops :joy:. I feel great when they hit and stuff but I think definitely too many loops for sure. Going to keep hitting though after another rest day since I did Khan Stage 1 all the way through the night on either Saturday or Sunday night and I feel how tired I was immediately. I’ve been exhausted.

The reasoning? I have kept my stack but been playing it Push/Pull/Legs/Rest. So Khan Stage 1/Khan Stage 4 and Stark T ( which is what I think has made me so tired haha ). Each looped throughout the night on their own Monday to Wednesday, Rest, Friday-Sunday, rest, rest, is what it should be. I definitely didn’t do that. Oops.

However I have to say Khan is truly starting to kick in. I have never given less of a shit to certain things ever in my life. I totally wasn’t here for anyone’s bullshit on Friday and I was totally on my shit. I loved the feeling. I felt some high power and presence and I loved it.

There’s still limiting beliefs but 1-2 months so far isn’t going to get rid of that just yet, right? Well, I can truly say I love this stack - to the point I still don’t know what to make my custom of. Still wealth though.

I’ve definitely feeling more sexual and less afraid of telling people about me and what I want, and going about it. Still scares me but doing the job. The fear is still there but I’m less like ‘omg I’m a weirdo for this’ …someone actually called me weird about it and it pissed me off and I told them about it aha. I was so done with the bullshit.

Anyway, I love the feelings I feel - when I’m not exhausted. That high power, high friendly, don’t give a shit vibe in regards to things. I actually love it. I’m totally here for it. Truly what I wanted and needed to be honest. Hoping the exhaustion will pass soon as I was that tired I hadn’t done class - but I also hadn’t eaten properly - I’d had a smoothie all day so no proper nutrients.

Not today, or the past couple days probably due to the lack of energy, but I’ve been eating so much better and had a lack of want for sugar - except coke which has always been something I’ve loved drink wise. I started working out again last week - I found it hard to make time for it since I’m now dancing and choreographing a lot but I’m finally working out/dancing again and enjoying it. I’m being more me and again, I’m here for that. This is how I should feel.

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#57

Feeling super horny all the time. Never felt like this ever really, now I feel like a man :joy:. + I’ve started to notice that I’m super interactive with people and I’m talking to people so much easier than I used to. I used to be so shy talking about things but yesterday and recently I’ve been talking about sexual things, bodies etc more often and I’m actually enjoying that I can be open about it.

I’m not a very sexual person in the terms of personal life - I have things I think about and do but I’m not one to be totally into it, this is truly bringing out this side of me and I’m here for that too. I’m glad I can be. I’ve been finding women VERY attractive which to me, as a gay man, I find very strange but also very appealing. I’ve been appreciating their bodies a lot more and I’m unsure how I feel about it but curious at the same time? I’m quite glad I’m exploring this. I feel like the real Khan in me is coming out now that everything is starting to process in my subconscious. I feel great in terms of who I am as a person and the more I’m evolving into this Khan/Stark person.

There’s still a lot more work to be doing. I’m still on stack and I picked up my stack again after the break, I started with Khan Stage 1 again last night and ran it on loop throughout the night - woke up with a headache but that’s gone now. May need to sleep later but I feel good. I think I’m going to continue with Stage 4 in my stack as it has both Stage 2 and 3 in it and it’s just taking a longer time to process but I’m starting to feel like I’m really getting results now - it just takes more time.

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