Yeah man I think everyone has this problem! Dr is tough and people don’t understand what you’re going through or have the patience. And work+healing is difficult 100%
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I dont even understand what Im going through, while Im going through it…lol whats to expect from someone else, lets say my girlfriend that has to deal with this cranky, angry and confused guy. Thats pretty much me in heavy recon.
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Ive been experiencing massive deconstruction of religious and spiritual beliefs for about the last month or so.
Its weird because I could have expected this from Alchemist or Sage, but theres nothing overtly spiritual in what Im running.
I have the intuition that its Rebirth working on my self concept and the relationship I have/had with dogmatic belief systems.
As an example… its been almost 2 years since I stopped practicing Tantra and still had some goddesses images around the house, I was thinking about getting rid of them and 3 days ago I did. took them out of the frames and broke them into pieces and put them in the trash.
That same day and after almost 2 years with absolutely 0 communication, the guy who was my tantric teacher texted me, asking if I wanted to participate in what was my last initiation process, I told him thanks but no… Im no longer practicing.
Weird shit!!!
My spiritual life aint gonna be attached to masters, dogmas, belief systems or images anymore… hasn’t been for a while.
I also discovered Mauro Biglino’s work and Ive been investigating it… Tearing everything apart.
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I seem to be very focused in answering questions like who are we? Where do we come from? But not at all in a philosophical way… in a anthropological, archeological way… I have my suspicions and theories, but also I understand Im looking for a way to understand myself and who I am.
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Im also experiencing a lot of joy in taking care of plants, taking care of the soil, watering them, giving them some good nutrition and sunlight. I want to have a lot of green and flowers this spring.
I also notice this is mirroring the more loving treatment Im giving to my body.
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Final report… Im also receiving an influx of work, not too big for now, but movent anyeays, which is great. It gives me more tranquillity.
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Day#11
Paragon-Elixir × 3:33 minutes
Rebirth × 3:33
Overall attitude is pretty good! My girlfriend is on board with some of the most important health changes… meaning eating habits, IF and supplements, which of course makes things so much easier.
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Day#13
Paragon-Elixir × 3 minutes
Rebirth × 3 minutes.
I keep having these dreams in which Im at my actual age, but Im in a place and with people from my past. Anywhere from my childhood to my 20s.
The basic feel of the dreams is resolving problems and stablishing healthy boundaries. Reframing the past.
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Day#15
Paragon-Elixir × 3:33
Rebirth × 3:33
Things are flowing… There some more movement in my life and it feels good.
Its been a little over 2 weeks since I started Intermittent fasting and taking supplements and herbs, I feel a bit better, but I know this process takes months, specially cleansing the liver and rebalancing functionality of the organs in general.
Today I have my 4th chiropractor session and Im waking up more flexible and with significantly less pain.
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Chiro was great! She worked all the usual places and find me to be much better, today she also worked on my right shoulder that was super tight and in pain… Now its loose and flexible.
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My healing journey is coming to an end, emotional healing journey that is.
Everything is aligning and coming together, so at the end of this cycle Im going on a 5 day washout and decide on a new stack.
The next step is about growing, which means developing a certain set of skills and making more money.
I know NWE experience comes in november, but I dont know which titles are gonna be updated first, or when are they getting updated, so Im gonna choose whatever fits best and replace whenever that specific title gets updated.
Possible candidates:
EOG st1 (highly probable)
Emperor*
Chosen*
Stark*
Genesis**
Heartsong**
*One of those 3
**One of those 2
Lets see how it all unfolds…
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Day#17
Paragon-Elixir × 4:50
Rebirth × 3:30
End of the cycle in sight, which is great cause Im getting tired of some healing related phenomena.
Welll it was a good healing season amd there will be more in the future.
Now time to focus on growth.
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It worked pretty much as expected… It helped me uncover trauma at a slower, less abrupt pace than say DR. But it still was intense in uncovering stuff, maybe because of the Final Showdown module.
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Joa I wanna ask one more thing, Did you use Sanguine or have you thought of running it? What was the difference with elixir
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No Sanguine for me… I thought about updating my custom a while ago, so the Elixir core got updated to the newer Sanguine The Elixir core, but never did it.
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Have run Sanguine and Elixir separately so can answer this. This was before Elixir was made into Sanguine: The Elixir.
When running Sanguine, it will help reduce reconciliation due to the calming effect of Sanguine. It makes you sanguine literally. Calm, composed, patient, etc. It’s a great title to run by itself or with status titles like Khan, Emperor, etc to smooth your edges. Or make you even more chill. Sanguine is a general purpose title.
Elixir (and am guessing by extension Sanguine: The Elixir since it’s an upgrade of Elixir) helps sooth you when you going through emotional, mental, spiritual, physical reconciliation when you’re are on a healing journey. A good example of this was when I was running Elixir with Regeneration. I first ran Regeneration separately and when later I stacked Elixir with Regeneration, I immediately felt a lowering of healing reconciliation and also lots of release of trauma (by the way, @Joa23 also experienced this said release of many traumas in his journal. Way to go to battle, my friend!). So my take on Elixir is to use it when you want support for your healing journey. Elixir would be great to stack along with Regeneration, Paragon Complete, Dragon Reborn, etc. Now am thinking that it would also be a great stacking companion for the first stages of all multistages like Khan ST1, Khan Black ST1, Ecstasy of Gold ST1, you get the drift. So to me Elixir has a more specific usecase compared to Sanguine.
Now is Sanguine: The Elixir a perfect stacking companion for both your healing and “chilling” needs? Maybe. Am not sure but my intuition tells me to use Sanguine and Sanguine: The Elixir the way I recommend using Sanguine and Elixir.
Hope I was clear with this explanation. Also please note that this is my personal interpretation of Sanguine and Elixir after using it. Not an official SubliminalClub explanation.
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Ive been feeling emotional turmoil the whole day long, easily truggered by anything.
Now Im in a lot of pain… that hit me emotionally sinking me even lower.
Im so tired of struggling…
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Day#19
Paragon-Elixir × 1 minute
Rebirth × 3:33
Once again the answer came in a dream. Im still angry considering that recieving that answer was a uncomfortable experience, but at least the pain is mostly gone.
I was living (and still do to a degree) in a constant competitive state, applied to the worst context possible… personal relationships and self awareness.
The essence of the dream was something like this:
There is always the need for someone to be a winner and someone to be a loser, I hated so much to be the loser that I could crash someones morale if that helped me feel that I win.
Reflecting on it now I realized that many times when I didnt want to hurt someone, I just silently let myself lose.
The terms win and lose are used pretty flexibly here to describe social dynamics.
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By the way Im ending the cycle today…
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