Subjective Experiences in Thought-Responsive Environments

Journals - Major Programs
#1
Day 4

Godlike Masculinity
Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer
The Revelation of Dreams

A few days ago I started this new stack. And with every passing day I am getting calmer. Needless thoughts are falling away. A bit more and I am officially a vegetable. I have no clear goal with this stack. I guess I am waiting for A Stark Reality? Or maybe Renaissance Man? Or Beyond Limitless? I will know more once they are released and I can read the descriptions.

Anyway, this will be an ongoing journal.

Today I started to read Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Lucid Dreaming by Dr. Clare R. Johnson. More accurately, I am reading it aloud for myself. Because it’s fun. I have been fascinated by lucid dreaming since forever. I had less than a handful lucid periods within dreams over the years. Never had the discipline for consistent dream journaling. My baseline dream recall is not recalling anything except maybe a few rare wisps of scenarios here and there.

Since starting RoD I noticed a somewhat increased dream activity. And I sleep better and longer.

More to come.

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#2
Day 6

Godlike Masculinity
Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer
The Revelation of Dreams

Gray sky, darkened mind. I wish my thinking would be fluid and free, but it is blocked off and compartmentalized instead.

I think my ‘inability’ to visualize ties in with not being able to fantasize and dream vividly. Am I afraid of fantasizing? Of my visualization feeling so real that I cannot distinguish it from reality? Have I shut down my ability to fantasize and somehow with it my curiosity because I am afraid of losing control? Rings true.

Not being able to distinguish fantasy from reality means being crazy. I don’t want to go crazy, hence I have to shut down vivid fantasizing? Also rings true. But wouldn’t that mean children are crazy all the time? Fear. Control.

Now how do I break this?

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#3

I’ve known a few people who overcame their aphantasia by image streaming.

https://winwenger.com/resources/cps-techniques/image-streaming/

https://winwenger.com/resources/cps-techniques/image-streaming-back-up-procedures/

They started with the back up procedures to get the descriptions going, and eventually, after some time of daily practice, they were able to see their first images in the mind!

Edit: it helps with dreams too

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#4

Thank you. That sounds intruiging. Clare Johnson (Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Lucid Dreaming) also described voice recording as a form of dream journaling. I only ever tried (dream) journaling in the more classical sense in written form up until now.

I will give image streaming / dream journaling via voice recorder a try.

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#5
Day 9

Godlike Masculinity
Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer
The Revelation of Dreams

Increased awareness of dreams. Slightly increased recall of dreams. Changed my daily shutdown routine towards more mindfulness and intention to dream. This night I was chased by a mischievous T-Rex (read: dragon?).

Overall, sleeping is more relaxed and comfortable. My sleep schedule is moving organically towards a later wake-up time. Normally I would consciously correct this but since the end of daylight saving time is approaching, I treat it as a gentle way of adjusting my internal clock before the actual switch.

#6
Day 11

Godlike Masculinity
Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer
The Revelation of Dreams

Well. My path is clear now. I will take three days off and then replace DR:LD with Beyond Limitless. And when released, I will replace GLM with A Stark Reality.

#7

Hey, check this out in case you haven’t yet: https://support.subliminalclub.com/knowledge-base/experimental-zero-point-stack-rotation/

It’s recommended to take 12 days off when you want to change a title in 3 subs stack

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#8

The 12 day stack rotation is good and reasonable advice. But to be honest, I notice no difference in myself, no negative after effects, not even sleepiness or mind fog by changing titles on the spot.

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#9

I see, warned you just in case

For me, changing titles on the spot usually results in heavy recon for a couple of days, and then I seem to be fine as well

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#10
Day 13

Godlike Masculinity
Dragon Reborn: Limit Destroyer
The Revelation of Dreams

Clocking in at 9-10 hours of sleep since starting RoD. I’m having my eye on this. If it is just an acclimatization thing it’s fine - if not, I may remove RoD from my stack.

Would be a pity though, since I am starting to do reality checks in my dreams. Not yet strongly lucidity triggering, but good progress for using RoD for under two weeks. Remembering dream content is kind of a bottleneck for now.

The deeper I get into Llewellyn’s Complete Book of Lucid Dreaming the more I realize that the new Beyond Limitless has immense synergetic potential when combined with RoD:

  • Into the Wonder
  • The Great Undoing
  • Tesla’s Mind Theatre
  • Thought Cinema
  • Stillness Engine
  • Imagination Chamber
  • Architect of Paradox
  • The Bridged Mind

Those are all strikingly relevant to lucid dreaming. I am excited to see how this will unfold (pun intended) for me.

#11

Renaissance Man [Day 2]
Primal [Day 8]
Dragon Reborn: Regeneration [Day 24]

DR:Regen is doing a good job in allowing me to slowly let go of any perceived tension in my body. Primal is adding a nice nonchalance and relaxation. And RM seems to add to the relaxation while hopefully also allowing me to open up emotionally.

This is my emotional/freedom stack and I call it Gate Opener.

Since starting DR:Regen I finally noticed that I am emotionally closed. Logic and stoicism are part of a mask I wear, a persona. They are parts of me I value highly, but they are also a shield behind which I hide like a vampire from the sun.

Many years ago I realized that experiencing emotions does change nothing. They are colored glasses to any and all situations. And they can be overwhelming. Distracting. Explosive. So I decided to disconnect from them. Living like a hermit reinforces my dominantly emotionless state.

Now, when somebody asks how I feel or feel about something I don’t know how to reply. I feel sensations in my body. Lust, pain, hunger, warmth, cold, tension, relaxation. But emotions? Apart from fleeting anxieties or frustrations that bubble up now and then, not really.

Let’s see what will happen.

PS: Since starting Primal https://www.reddit.com/r/ContagiousLaughter/ became kind of a laughing therapy thread for me.

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