Get familiar with your fear.
Thereās no way out but through.
If you donāt believe itās possible, youāre right.
That thing you should be doing but arenātā¦if you got a million dollars for doing it, would you still put it off?
The etymology of avatar, from the Sanskrit word avatarana, meaning the decent of a deity to the earth in incarnate form, just made my creating an avatar more interesting.
The new Saguine has been great for helping me tap into flow more easilyā¦whether meditating or training I notice and release unnecessary tension as more of a reflex action now as opposed to a concentrated effort. Had a few amazing moments over the last couple weeks that really drove it home.
And, thereās a greater sense of being able to get into harmony with others, if I choose. And I donāt always 
For full transparency tho, Iām working deliberately on these things via breathe work, training my focus and senses, etc. Nothing crazy, I just play around with these things throughout the day, but I donāt doubt they help the sub do its thing.
So far Iāve run about 13 total loops (mostly micro loops) over the last month and a half. Really good overall effects so far.
Since āsqueaky wheels get the grease,ā beware of habitual squeaky wheels. They may be used to and expect to get the grease. Share your grease wisely.
Did an eyes-closed energy sensing exercise last night with a friend that I expected to do well atā¦
It didnāt go the way I thoughtā¦I wasnāt able to do it ārightā a single time.
But, a few times, I did āmess upā in an interesting way: instead of responding to my friendās physical motion to ābreakā a connection, I responded instantly to their intent, right as they barely started to move. Which was surprising to both of us.
Seems like so much more is possible the more Iām able to surf the sweet spots between deep relaxation and focused awareness, which Sanguine seems to be helping a lot with atm.
Got an opportunity to test out my sanguinity this morningā¦
An event got cancelled that Iāve been helping a group prepare forā¦we worked hard over the last few weeks, and this past weekend that work crystallized perfectlyā¦we all felt great afterwards and looked forward to crushing it at the event.
So naturally I wasnāt ācheerfulā when I got the news, but I let go of the initial disappointment and judgement towards the head of the org within a minute or so (and felt empathy for his situation)ā¦ The shift was super fast. And effortlessā¦
In its place gratitude sprung up and instantly elevated my state. I felt grateful for the WHOLE experience, especially the last session. I realized that the last session itself was MY reward for the weeks of time and energy invested. No external validation needed at allā¦
ā¦but that doesnāt mean we should deprive people of what we created, lol.
I thought, āhow can we USE this situation?ā
I donāt know for sure yet, but I already have a couple ideas that could be good.
Sanguine for the win.
Had to buy a router again for the first time in yearsā¦so of course I decided to dip my toe into the world of OpenWRT. I may have a propensity for overcomplicating shit challenging myself, lolā¦
It started with the āsimpleā criteria of wanting to go sans wifi in my apartment ā they make usb-c ethernet adapters for phones, kinda cool ā then, finding out a simple modem to switch setup wonāt cut it. And that evolved into āif I get a router compatible with OpenWRT, I can do all kinds of cool shit!ā
It arrives today.
I have successfully disrupted and innovated on my home networking setupā¦thanks, Nouveau RICH.
And in all seriousness, finding out how many companies sprung up around the niche of open source networking enthusiasts offering their own flavors of OpenWRT was a GREAT reminder of whatās possible in ANY market, to chuck my assumptions out the window and keep testing.
Messing around with the router has steered me toward learning linux scripting, and getting into the weeds of remapping a buttonās behavior (had zero idea what GPIO and IRQ meant 24 hours ago)ā¦
The router worked perfectly out of the box, but it didnāt have the option to set the hardware switch to toggle the wifi radios on and off ā and having log into the admin panel to turn those things off and on every time I had guests over seemed like a āpainā.
There were a few moments after flashing OpenWRTās vanilla firmware when my laptop wouldnāt connect to the internet and I felt a bit like Anakin after cutting off Maceās armā¦
But I āfigured it outāā¦
(Protip: have you tried turning it off and on again? If not, do that.)
The button remapping will happen at some point soon, but itās not urgent so Iām going to use it as a āproductive distractionā when I want a break from other things.
Could this renewed interest in linux hacking be a New Limitless presult? 
Iām stoked for the drop, so itās possible Iāve already made the decision to swap it into the stack without realizing it yet. Guess Iāll find out later.
Whereās your attention?
How much down time are you taking between actions?
If you told the story of your life starting from waking up this morning to this moment, what impression would it leave the audience with?
I found outā¦
And I did.
Like 10 minutes after a 5 minute loop of New Limitless, I found myself in a little ādebateā where I instantly tapped into my negotiation skills to navigate. Smooth sailing so far.
You complainā¦you lose.
You argueā¦you lose.
You make excusesā¦you lose.
Changing the environment is an easier and faster āhackā to changing behavior (and producing a result) than relying on discipline, willpower, and ingenuity alone.
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From a 5 minute loop of New Limitless yesterday right when it droppedā¦
Today, Iām aware of shorter gaps within my observation ā decision ā action loop. And procrastination and hesitation didnāt exist, only prioritization.
Also, I reenacted that cleaning scene from Limitless todayā¦my place was nowhere near as bad but Iād put some things off, so I spent a solid few hours on organization and cleaning. I mean, I even cleaned the WALLSā¦and, I felt great about it ā havenāt had that kind of experience since first running Emperor back in the day.
Last night, I dug into linux scripting a little bit more, found some code to interface with the router hardware switch I intend to customize, and found out which BTN and ACTION parameters to useā¦
I havenāt written code in YEARS and barely use the linux command line anymore, so I was a little concerned about how much time and energy this would takeā¦
ā¦there was a noticeable shift from the sense of overwhelm when I first realized Iād have to manually script this hack to a greater sense of ease and confidence in my ability to learn this fairly quickly.
This is all probably a good indication that my natural cognitive abilities are getting optimized. Running another mini-loop tomorrow.
After the last entry, I stayed up passed my bed time figuring out how to get my HP Laser Jet printer to work from my linux boxā¦that was after I failed at getting it to work as a network printer hooked up directly to the new routerā¦
I donāt print much these days, so my workaround has been to plug it into my laptop running Windows whenever I needed something ā itās been like that for a couple years now because I donāt know shyet about how the printer service works on linux, why following the standard instructions didnāt work for my printer, and figuring it out seemed like a major PITA.
And now, the printer will successfully receive jobs from my linux box. No more workaround needed. And Iām one step closer to figuring out how to get it to run straight from the router ā which also runs on linux.
Figuring out what the problem actually was led to finding the solution super fast.
But WHY did I spend time and energy on this non-urgent issue?
Because I suddenly wanted to print out a 10-page document to study and markup by handā¦
(I never do that!)
Now all of a sudden, I want a sense of INTERACTION with the words and the pages as I dive into uncovering the underlying principles at work.
I printed it out and left it on the coffee table to read with my cup of bean juice this morning. A clear sign that something has changed.
Ran second 5 minute loop of New Limitless before writing this post.
Energy allocation is everythingā¦
Take a moment to observe what youāre investing it in, what the resultant effects are, and if you want to continue investing there.
Maintaining any state requires energy, some more than others.
Optimize for your preferred energy state, input and output.