Subconscious Virtuoso - Stumbling into the Light šŸ”„

Journals - Major Programs
#41

I noticed my spending habits have changedā€¦Iā€™m more calculating and observant of the triggers for my wanting to buy something.

My thoughts tend towards asking questions likeā€¦ is it for me? Or is it to influence what people think of me? Did the marketing do a good job of pressing my buttons (like these SubClub sales pages)? What result am I after by buying that product/service?

Etc, etc, etcā€¦

Not exactly sure how the innovation or disruption scripting is going to express with what Iā€™m doing for money, but Iā€™m thinking the innovation side of things will be helpful. Havenā€™t had any noticeable results on that front yet.

#42

Today was the first day I doubled up on working out, and that was before going to train for a couple hoursā€¦yesterday was supposed to be the first day of my two-a-day regimen, but I let excuses get in the way.

Doesnā€™t matter. I overcame the mental bs today, and now that Iā€™ve experienced how much it sucks, doing it again tomorrow wonā€™t be as big a dealā€¦because it wasnā€™t as bad as what my mind tried to tell me today.

I expect that Iā€™ll suffer more as the days go on, and want to do two workouts per day less and less as my body gets more and more exhaustedā€¦

ā€¦but I also expect that Iā€™ll be able to break through all that and get to a place of monstrous resilience. Iā€™m not interested in movie star physiqueā€¦I seek godlike performance and function.

Iā€™m really curious what I can do within the next 6 months committed, disciplined action taking.

(And the same applies to my business endeavors.)

Main Disc. Thread - The NEW Emperor (Now Available! Q Core Available!)
#43

I have a call in an hour, and it just started rainingā€¦can I fit in ONE of my two workouts in beforehand, and maybe go run like I planned for this morning?

The list of excuses grows:

I didnā€™t get to bed until about 1am last night, and got woken up at around 5am, tossed and turned for another 90 minutes or soā€¦I was beat af getting out of bed.

Spent the morning feeling the subtle aches and stiffness from yesterdayā€™s training and working out, so instead of running I made some breakfast and sat on the couch: active recovery. :laughing:

It was hard to focus during a meeting this morningā€¦the lack of sleep kicked in hard. Had black tea to help my focus (yes, I broke my caffeine abstinence, BUT Iā€™m 100% free of the physiological addiction nowā€¦I feel basically fine albeit a little groggy in the mornings, like a normal person would. I donā€™t feel a pressing need for coffee anymore.)

Soā€¦

Instead of taking action. Instead of making a decision. Iā€™m thinking it out on an online forum, lol.

Ok, fuck itā€¦letā€™s get after it.

#44

It was gotten after. :muscle:

With 5 minutes to spare to get something to drink.

#45

Second day on this two-a-day workout regimenā€¦

It wasnā€™t as tough to start the second workout today as it was yesterday, but there were some complaints in my body I had to adjust for. No big deal tho.

Even though I was beat afterwards, and couldā€™ve easily gone to sleep early, I ended up having more than enough stamina to have sex and use a pillow-assisted position I was told Iā€™d never done beforeā€¦and which we should do again.

Another good Emperor result, Iā€™d say.

#46

On the topic of Emperorā€¦I reflected on the question I asked about the New Emperorā€™s leadership style, and it unlocked a realization: I tend to suppress that side of myself that might come off as ā€œhard-assā€ā€¦itā€™s an old pattern I learned young.

It reminded me of a training group I was observing almost 10 years ago, and the head instructor told me to replace the guy teaching. I remember my first reaction being ā€œI donā€™t want to make him feel bad, Iā€™m not even supposed to be here.ā€ I didnā€™t want to trigger his envy or dislike of me, we worked together.

The instructor just stared at me for a second, then said something like, ā€œSo what.ā€ Feelings didnā€™t matterā€¦not in that context.

So, I did it.

The facts were: that guy wasnā€™t doing a good job at teaching important concepts and I could do it better, which is why I was asked to. I knew it while watching. The head instructor knew it. But, when I was asked, some ā€œsoft assā€ programming kicked in and I was concerned about ā€œfeelingsā€.

Not saying that thatā€™s a bad thing, but it looks like I still have some uprooting to do of that old programming that is too concerned with not coming off as a ā€œhard assā€. Which now that Iā€™ve thought about what I meant by ā€œhard assā€ is basically just having high standards, firm boundaries, a no-nonsense policy for getting shit done, and commitment to a visionā€¦

Get onboard, or see ya when I see yaā€¦

In certain contexts, thatā€™s exactly the type of leadership thatā€™s needed. And clearly, I still have development to do in this area.

Tomorrowā€™s the first loop with New Emperor replacing the oldā€¦ Iā€™m pumped.

#47

Up and out of bed after only 5 hours or soā€¦body feels both sore and stronger. Thereā€™s probably a nap in my not-too-distant futureā€¦

Left quad cramped during a set of military presses last night, and it still felt a little tight this morning, so I used that as an excuse not to go run first thing.

One of these days Iā€™m going to jump out of bed and into a workout or a run, but it is not this day.

One of the side effects of being onboard the SubClub hype train is I spend way more time reading sales pages and forum posts, lolā€¦itā€™s fun.

But, Iā€™m feeling like itā€™s about that time to get ruthless with my energy and attention again.

I ran the first loop of New Emperor shortly after getting up. Full loop. And so far, no sense of it being too ā€œheavyā€ or anything. It was smooth.

Holding off on running Nouveau RICH until this evening to give New Emperor time to breathe.

Iā€™ll capture more of the minute changes and insights here as they come up during the day, instead of summary style entries once a day or every other.

#48

Itā€™s only day 3 of doing two-a-days, and I felt like a beastā€¦the momentum is building, and the inner fire is burning hotter.

Itā€™s probably a Hero influence (could also be that smooth New Emperor vibe), but the more I push my physical limits the more I remember what Iā€™m capable of, and what kind of stuff Iā€™m made ofā€¦

I had plenty of excuses to not workout the way I did today, then follow that up with a run that zero parts of my body felt ready for, but I got it doneā€¦

ā€¦and the beast within opened an eye.

This practice of uncomfortableness is putting things Iā€™ve been overthinking (and over-preparing for) with business and other areas into a new perspective. And the negative thoughts seem muted.

I feel poised and ready. All I have to do, is do.

Itā€™s amazing what only a few days of pushing through voluntary physical suffering will do to clear the mind and emotions.

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#49

Excerpt from a bookā€¦

awareness: catalyst for action, or security blanket

Awareness can be a catalyst to make something happen, or it can be a security blanket to wrap your ā€œissuesā€ up in, to protect and incubate them.

Awareness is only one small part of having your life work. We all know some highly educated and amazingly aware people who are also very ineffective. They may be able to analyze, advise and sermonize, but they tend to stop there ā€” to cuddle up with their reasons and understanding rather than follow through on that knowledge with the necessary required actions to get the result that they are after.

Remember that reasons only help you to sound reasonable and that they have nothing to do with producing personal and professional accomplishment. Newly acquired knowledge must be implemented in order to be of any real value. Without implementation knowledge becomes stagnant. And implementation only occurs through the individualā€™s behaviors and actions. Personal and business transformation requires not necessarily that you acquire new understandings, but that you change.

#50

Sensing some profound internal shifts todayā€¦

For tracking, the amount of exposure for each sub so far is:

  • 11 loops of Hero; started Sept 26th; 11th loop 3 days ago; currently in third cycle
  • 10 loops of NRICH; started Oct 9th; 10th loop yesterday; currently in second proper cycle (this sub was a ā€œstack breakerā€ and replaced DRLD before the end of its 4th cycle; recon was had but it wasnā€™t that bad)
  • 23 loops of Emperor; started Aug 4th; 4 cycles completed
  • 1 loop of New Emperor; started Nov 16th; replacing ā€œoldā€ Emperor for 5th cycle

The reason for tracking exposure ā€“ because the real magic is in the practice of taking action ā€“ is because Iā€™ve noticed that even if Iā€™m not taking much action towards a specific subā€™s goals, I still feel positive internal shifts after enough exposure (and recon), which leads to better decision-making, and thus, more action-taking. For me, that inflection point is around 11 loops of exposure.

I woke up feeling greatā€¦the soreness I felt yesterday is 80% gone, and I feel an increasing clarity of purpose.

Iā€™ll write more later as the insights come, but for now itā€™s time to get things done.

Itā€™s going to be a good day.

#51

I was on fire yesterdayā€¦the level of focus, drive, and grit to get things done was over 9000.

And apparently itā€™s still over 9000 because my body is ready to go again after only 4.5 hours last nightā€¦

Within the next 3.5 hours I have to be completely ready to travel. There are a few things left to take care of so the place is prepped to have some work done in the kitchen and entrance while Iā€™m goneā€¦

ā€¦and I still have to pack. One day, Iā€™ll have trunks or duffle bags of clothes stashed at various locations I visit throughout the world so all I have to is walk out the door with my phone, keys, and walletā€¦ but it is not this day.

After I leave, Iā€™ll head to training for a couple hours ā€“ because a day with training in it is always a better day ā€“ but before I go to training Iā€™ll get one of my two workouts inā€¦

Itā€™s day 5 of doing two-a-days, my body soreness is minimal and it still protests before I start a session, but the level of energy I feel right now is amazing and contradicts everything I thought I knew about how doing this would play outā€¦

ā€¦so Iā€™m going to keep it going.

The combination of Heroā€™s physical enhancements and Emperorā€™s resilience feels awesome.

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#52

Presence of mind is easy to let slip away when youā€™re immersed in a situation that isnā€™t going your wayā€¦and thatā€™s when its most important to maintain it, to be patient, and slow down. Breathe. Fix your inner stance. Make small adjustments. Let go of things that arenā€™t working. Listen for the right moment. And when it comes, donā€™t think, just do. Make your move.

Todayā€™s first workout set me back 30 minutes on my timeline this morning, and nearly wiped me out for the rest of the day. It was way harder than any of the previous daysā€¦it was one of those workouts that makes you question your life decisions, lol.

Only getting 4.5 hours of shut eye last night caught up with me this evening and resulted in me putting on a dumb movie and zoning out because reading felt like too much work. And when I thought of doing the second workout, I made the decision to drop itā€¦I felt drained. I mean, I did 2 hours of training after I did a soul crushing workout. It wasnā€™t like I took it easy todayā€¦ I needed rest and recovery. I needed to take care of myself. I needed to avoid injury. I needed to not try so hardā€¦

ā€¦and about an hour after coming up with all those reasons and deciding I wouldnā€™t do the second workout, I did the second workout.

#53

You know youā€™re experiencing the accelerated recovery times of Hero when doing one workout in a day feels like itā€™s a rest day. :muscle:

#54

Yesterday, I got called ā€œmeanā€ for reflecting a question back at someone without modulating my voice to not sound too blunt or coldā€¦

It wasnā€™t intentional. I was in an impatient state due to circumstances.

After a few breathes, I realized that I felt ā€œout of controlā€ of my situationā€¦and New Emperor doesnā€™t vibe well with that kind of state. And for me, it can result in being terse.

So, I reframed my internal stance. I took on more of a leadership role to shape how things played outā€¦and I felt more at ease.

Today, I got told, ā€œOkay, youā€™re the boss.ā€

It was said with a bit of a huffy tone because she didnā€™t get her way and is used to being bossy, but she couldnā€™t argue with my plan (which was way better, lol).

The end result: everyone was happy.

Iā€™ve only run two loops of New Emperor so far, and leaning into shaping plans and leading makes this sub feel way smoother and have a more powerful effect instead of ā€œgoing with the flowā€ of other peopleā€™s whims or offers, especially if itā€™s not something Iā€™m that interested in.

#55

So, I use my visits with family over the holidays as one way to see how much Iā€™ve evolved internally over the year.

Itā€™s super easy to fall into old patterns and default reactions to specific triggers and situations ā€“ slipping happens even after years of doing changework ā€“ and this year marked a noticeable change for meā€¦

I have a policy of not arguing ā€“ itā€™s a waste of energy and time; debating is a different story ā€“ but certain members of my family have a policy of argue first, understand later. Well, this time around I navigated those situations and interactions by taking a direct but honorable approach (instead of detaching or brushing it off), and the end result was surprising.

I got the results I wanted and there was very little to no friction in things playing out smoothly around me.

I was a little apprehensive running New Emperor while being there, but everything went great. The couple of times that people tested my boundaries, I handled it like Iā€™d handle a kid doing something dumb, with compassionate directness. It was automatic. I didnā€™t have to think, I just responded to it and moved on. And they didnā€™t behave that way again the rest of the week. We had a good time.

I think the New Status Experience mixed with Heroā€™s virtue scripting is a really potent combination.

#56

When something enters your awareness thatā€™s new and outside of any previous experience so thereā€™s no frame of referenceā€¦what do you do?

Dismiss it? Rationalize? Or wonder?

As I was driving along the highway, at the peak of rush hour, I happened to look sharply up and to the left at a point in the sky where some object was reflecting the Sunā€¦

ā€¦it didnā€™t match anything familiar in my memory banks (it was elliptical)ā€¦
ā€¦it looked much farther away than the highest plane in the skyā€¦
ā€¦and it wasnā€™t moving?

My friend and I had completely opposite responses when it suddenly disappeared from the visible sky.

It made me realize that my level of openness and curiosity is growingā€¦and having a little debate with a friend about a UFO is always good.

#57

Itā€™s the last listening day of the cycle tomorrow, and Iā€™m starting to feel like something needs to change in my stackā€¦

Not sure what yet.

I donā€™t think Iā€™ll drop Hero. Iā€™m at 15 loops of exposure now and want to keep it going to see what else I can do with it. At some point, Iā€™ll probably put it in a custom with Spartan to kick up the training gainz.

As for the other two, Iā€™ll have to do some reflecting over the next weekā€¦

Weā€™ll see, maybe the next drop or two will speak to me.

#58

Dreams were vivid last night, and sleep was short.

I got up and immediately started on one of the tasks on my long list of tasks written down on the whiteboard. That was out of the ordinary. Usually, I get up and make something hot ā€“ been drinking black tea the last week, but Iā€™m letting that go soon to get back to zero caffeine ā€“ then I read while I drink. The subject matter changes, but thatā€™s usually the routine.

Iā€™ve been considering the amount of time I spend consuming versus creatingā€¦

And Iā€™m feeling the push to create more. To experience more.

Is that Nouveau RICHā€™s influence?

Maybe itā€™s New Emperor encouraging me to put things into motion?

I donā€™t know what it is, but thereā€™s a massive change coming. And it feels like itā€™s happening in slow motion.

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#59

Iā€™m on day 4 of the break between cycles, and this has been the smoothest, easiest, most natural feeling of the subs executing without any recon flaring up I can remember in a whileā€¦

So far, Iā€™m at 5 cycles of Emperor, 3 cycles of Hero, and 2 cycles of Nouveau RICH exposure.

Itā€™s probably a function of that sweet NSE doing its thing.

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#60

Sleep was short last night, only 4.5 hours.

I woke up from a dream where I was deeply sobbingā€¦

ā€¦probably because I say goodbye to my stack tonight.

Season 2: NFTW (which one are you?) [11.11.23]