Subconscious Virtuoso - Stumbling into the Light đŸ”„

Journals - Major Programs
#21

Woke up this morning feeling a little off. Asked for some guidance and got back a song lyric:

“Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past; You must fight just to keep them alive.”

Sometimes, that’s all it is: just keep f#!king going. You’re on the right path. Don’t let the distractions of the world, or the mental masturbations of your mind, take you off track. Remember who you are and what that means. You already know the next step. Do it, even if you don’t fully understand right now.

Show up.

So many times, it happens too fast → instantaneous unconscious shift
You trade your passion for glory → focus turns to external validation and comfort
Don’t lose your grip on the dreams of the past → remember who you are
You must fight just to keep them alive → renew your mind every day

#22

First morning sans morning coffee ritual



last time I “quit” coffee I didn’t last much more than a week.

#23

Day 2 without coffee
substituted the morning coffee ritual with making herbal tea with raw honey. It seems to help soothe the part that wants the comfort of the hot bean juice.

Herbal tea doesn’t do shit for helping the physiological withdrawal symptoms though
the headache yesterday was pretty rough and constant. Thankfully today the symptoms are primarily head fog, issues with focus, and only minor head pressure.

Yesterday’s training session was rough at the start, but as we started moving and getting into it my focus sharpened and I was able to perform. There was a noticeable resistance to exerting myself though, like I had to force my body into executing movements dynamically, with intent. And zero parts of me wanted to do randori last night.

#24

Day 3 without coffee
 feeling better but still a little bit of head fog or heaviness. I’ve been slacking with workouts the last few days, so I’ll see how going for a run later changes things.

I have some things on my plate that I’ve been putting off


Decisive action is always the answer.

#25

Yesterday I had a conversation about health, and how being on pills indefinitely is not that


Today, I found my way down a new rabbit hole regarding self-healing. Interested to see how it might help with my current issue.

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#26

Not pleased with my performance overall this week
it was weak.

I know caffeine withdrawals played a huge factor with the major head fog and head aches and low energy state, and running full loops of everything probably ramped up the minor recon I was experiencing, but those are ultimately just excuses.

Excuses for not getting shit done.

Going to look into ways to boost my focus and energy levels without caffeine because I won’t accept another week like this.

Working out helps. And today I spent an hour in the Sun, and that helped.

Maybe I need to give my body more time to adjust. It’s been hooked on the bean juice for years, so four days might not be enough to bounce back to optimal, lol

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#27

Dreams have been very vivid lately and combining elements of my life in weird ways. And even though I got woken up in the middle of the night for a bit, I feel decently rested this morning.

Last night I managed to crank out a workout even though I felt low energy and wanted no part of it. It was rough, but I got through it and felt better afterwards.

The temps are lower in the mornings (and at night) now, and for some reason my brain says I should get out there and go running first thing in the cold
wtf, brain?

I didn’t do it this morning because I made excuses, but I’ll get in a good morning of training then workout later.

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#28

Yesterday’s training was great: put in some work improving techniques in the clinch, learned a few new entries, tied in some takedowns, and got to crank up the intensity a bit with my partner.

It felt almost too easy stringing combinations together. I started off tired af when I got there and our instructor said, “I guess the coffee kicked in,” to me about 10 minutes or so after we got into it



except I hadn’t had any coffee. It was just pure, uncut, love-of-the-craft fueling me.

(Almost made it a full 5 days without any caffeine too :sweat_smile: 
I cracked in the afternoon after training all morning and had a chai. I’m back to zero caffeine though, so it’s Day 1, again.)

Kenjutsu training was on another level, too.

It felt like I unlocked a door, cracked it open, and stole a glimpse of the secrets to mastery
the door didn’t stay open though :laughing:

I have much more practice and meditation to do before I can open that door (and keep it open) on command, but that experience fired me up – and Hero isn’t getting cut from my stack any time soon.

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#29

I wanted to experiment with changing everything about my morning routines now that I’m skipping the coffee ritual, but I got woken up after only about 5 hours sleep and all of those new ideas went out the window. I did like 2 of the 6 things I had on the list. :upside_down_face:

That’s better than none things, but not good enough.

I slip into unconscious patterns way too easily when I’m sleep deprived.

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#30

You know you’ve lived a privileged life when you drop food on the ground and instead of picking it up instantly you just stand there going, “Noooooo, my donuts!” and looking at your friend.

:rofl:

That’s when someone like me goes, “Hurry up
six-second rule,” as he walks passed.

I heard her ask, “what’s the six second rule?” :man_facepalming:

Some people say 3 second rule, others 4, and some 5
I like 6. Gives me the perfect cushion, lol.

That situation made me wonder where in my life I’m saying, “Noooooo, my donuts!” instead of just DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT and analyzing the results afterwards to adapt further.

There are a couple, but I thought of one area instantly: the wealth one :sweat_smile:

So I took some action when I got back home.

It was a good walk.

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#31

Sometimes it’s easy to slip into “advice” mode because you want to offer some insight that might be useful



except the other person is coming from a unique set of experiences, and there doesn’t seem to be a way that the truth of your experience can directly transmit into their truth.

What’s a more compassionate stance to come from?

To answer the problem for someone, point them in the direction you know about.

Or, let them struggle with it until they figure it out?

I’ve always kept my own council and never revealed serious problems to others until I had solid internal ground to stand on and was already taking steps to resolve it.

But, I now realize that I might’ve learned a ton more if I’d shared and accepted more input. I might’ve found nuggets of wisdom faster. I’d also have had to filter out a crapload of opinions dished out as truth, lol.

I wasn’t open to it then. I notice I’m far more open to it now



but it triggers my good intent to committing the worst vice in the world: advice.

Live and learn.

:laughing:

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#32

Outcome Getting Formula 5000

  1. Decide what you want to accomplish.
  2. Define exactly what you’ll have to do (and not do) to get there.
  3. Determine if you’re willing to pay that price.
  4. Do the work, track results, and adapt as necessary.
  5. DO NOT STOP until you get the outcome, continue to take action.

It’s not sexy. It’s simple.

(I’m feeling some dejavu right now.)

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#33

Quintuple D’s - the latest in Quintessence Innovation

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#34

I’m surprised that on a stack that’s dominated by wealth and worldly material objectives, I’m diving deeper into my spirituality than I have in a long time, and having some realizations that are at moments a little scary tbh, but I feel a greater sense of peace building, too.

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#35

The Recon Revenger has entered the building


It’s not a constant state, but I found that sense of irritation come up easily and unexpectedly in a couple conversations where I’d normally have plenty of patience.

In both instances, I was able to let go of the irritation, but one was harder in that I have a healthy question-authority-bent and they don’t. And this time, they wanted me to agree with their point of view.

If I wasn’t in recon, I would’ve said something like, “I’ll take that into consideration, thanks,” but no, instead I gave in to the impulse to argue. To win.

I won nothing except irritation that wanted more fuel; to keep fighting.

Stepping outside into the sunshine, focusing on my breathe, and letting the emotion run its course without adding to it helped. So did having a refreshing glass of cold water with fresh-squeezed lemon afterwards.

I know the recon is connected to wealth because it’s been on my mind heavy the last few days
 the only thing to do is: adapt and overcome.

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#36

It’s Day 5 between last cycle and the next, which starts tomorrow


Recon has been a blast the past few days. Been practicing a breathe-centered meditation at various points of the day the past week: and so many things bother tf outta me right now, it’s taking longer to get centered


I’m chalking that up to being at a threshold of change, and something that doesn’t want to be changed is pushing back


The negative thoughts/emotions seem to be more forceful at certain times


But change-work be like that sometimes.

#37

Training was f**king awesome today, too


(and recon doesn’t stand a chance once I get to it)

My moves were fluid. My timing was great. And my speed was effortless



and my legs were sore still from working out and training hard two days ago, too.

Once my body started moving, it felt like I tapped into another source of energy


And even though there were points where I felt a little off or sloppy, I got compliments for those same points about how smooth I looked – it’s probably the bent for perfecting my skills, knowing there’s still more improvement to be made.

A goal I have going forward is to incorporate more training into my days, both technical and full on workouts, and get closer to my body’s peak physical abilities within the year.

I know by pouring more energy into training, I’ll have to be far more focused and strategic with work and other areas of my life



so I collapse into bed every night knowing I gave everything I had that day to the things that matter most.

Let’s fkn go.

#38

I did not “empty the tank” yesterday
but I did do more. I broke the status quo


Usually on the days I go to training for a couple hours, I don’t workout afterwards.

Not yesterday.

After coming to the realization that I’m leaving a lot left in the tank yesterday, I got off my ass and spent about 20 minutes doing calisthenics and about 30 minutes running
with just enough time to get back before the first drop, lol.

Could I have done more?

Yes.

But killing myself isn’t the goal
 it’s more about becoming a monster at being efficient and effective; pushing passed the mental and emotional programming that’s always trying to keep me “safe” and doing a fantastic job of it; to move far outside of my comfort zones in all areas, not die, and teach my subconscious to let go of the past.

I don’t know if it’s Hero’s scripting around honesty (on all levels), the boldness scripting from Nouveau RICH, or this being the 4th month running Emperor that’s helped flip this switch



but it’s been flipped.

And I woke up today with the safety program running a “if you go for a longer run today with that level of soreness in your legs, you might hurt yourself” script



which is a possibility



so I made a mental note to incorporate more stretching, mobility, and use of recovery tools daily.

I’ll use the feedback I get from my efforts to adapt and make the next move
and if I’ve taken things as far as I can that day, then I’ll switch to another area to focus on.

And I intend to follow a similar strategy for getting to the next level of financial freedom.

It’s time to make moves. Now. There may not be a later.

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#39

Have you thought about making a custom in the next 4 months or so?

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#40

I have
 Sounds like you’ve got a reason for asking.

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