Subconscious Virtuoso - Stumbling into the Light šŸ”„

Journals - Major Programs
#261

Dreams were wild last night. In one of them, I was on a secret mission but my luggage got lost so then that became my mission, lol. There was another part where I was driving and could willfully control the speed like I was partially lucid, that hasnā€™t happened in awhile.

my luggage got lost so then that became my mission

wutā€¦rereading that triggered somethingā€¦what if Iā€™m not dragging ā€œluggageā€ around anymore and more than able to ā€œcomplete the missionā€, but thereā€™s a part of me that doesnā€™t ā€œfeel rightā€ without it or thinks thereā€™s some ā€œimportanceā€ to having it, so I go in search of luggage to have??? (figuratively, in case that wasnā€™t clear)

I donā€™t know what the ā€œdream interpretersā€ will say luggage is supposed to mean, and it doesnā€™t matter, lolā€¦

I intended to make an entry about building a new identity (or mask) and practicing it today because it feels like itā€™s not too far beyond my reach now, and the part noting how my dreams were wild was a ā€œrandomā€ thought that came up when I opened the journal.

The lighting flash of insight into that exact part of my dream and how it correlates to what I intend to do today, with who I intend to be today, WHILE writing this entry is fkn awesome, lol.

Dragon Reborn Gold is :fire:

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#262

Todayā€™s scheduled time for spiritual learning and practice didnā€™t bring along any weird glitches or distractions like the other days. But some outside construction-type noise started happening like 10 minutes before ā€“ and continued for another 30-40 minutes or so into it ā€“ so I just closed the windows and was able to focus really well regardless of some of the sound leaking through.

Afterward I felt uplifted and light. More than I had the previous couple days.

A thought that popped up now that Iā€™m thinking about this is: it seems like ā€œthe interferenceā€ is moving further away and becoming less effective.

#263

Today was a good dayā€¦

  • got frustrated with a friend, regained my composure and acknowledged it, then moved the conversation along to having more fun ā€“ I guided myself to the experience I preferred and it shifted the entire vibe so my friend willingly went along with it
  • got to experience glimpses of some genius hidden in my subconscious
  • was told I reminded someone of one of the main dudeā€™s playing a viking on TV, which I took to mean that I was giving off a ā€œviking vibeā€ or somethingā€¦never seen the show tho
  • picked up a weapon that I havenā€™t touched in over 6 months probably, and pulled off the sickest counter while looking at and talking to our instructor ā€“ seems like tapping into flow state is easier since negative, limiting beliefs are breaking down with DRG st1
  • experienced the nerdiest dirty talk Iā€™ve ever heard today, so I amplified it and we had a good laugh and a very good time
  • spent about 4 hours in my kitchen today purging, cleaning, and reorganizing ā€“ something Iā€™ve wanted to happen for awhile but put off because that stuff is not my jam, so I enlisted the help of that nerdy girl ā€“ and it feels and looks mfkn awesome now
    • this is where a shaming thought asks, ā€œWhy did you wait so long, bro???ā€ To which I respond, ā€œWhy you bringing up old shit, bruh?ā€ Iā€™m a new man, I donā€™t defend that other dude :laughing:

It was day 5 of the break between cycles today, so I start up again tomorrow for a second cycle with DRG St1. The results after a single cycle are pretty good. Looking forward to a second one.

#264

First day of the second cycle with DRG st1 yesterday, and ran an 11 minute loop without any issue. No sense of it being ā€œtoo muchā€ or an issue.

So far, Iā€™ve increased loop runtime by a minute each listening day if I donā€™t feel or experience too much recon. Iā€™m not trying to avoid recon, but I do prefer a smoother experience and starting at a 3 minute runtime and increasing by a minute each listening day seemed to work really well.

Sure, Iā€™ve had some recon symptoms, but I work to process those things that come up in my private journal and taking a small action towards creating the identity/reality I prefer. That usually clears up any recon.

I think the key is to not have any fear of bad feelings or negative thoughts that might come up because thatā€™s going to happen with or without a sub, especially when youā€™re pushing past comfort zones.

Expect them to arise when you least expect, and especially when you do expect.

Thank them for showing you where to focus your attention / take action to dissolve any negative belief / identity you have around that experience.

Then let them go on their way. Donā€™t give them energy. Reclaim the energy that itā€™s been siphoning from you.

Direct your energy towards something you prefer. Let that deep inner wisdom lead you, even if you donā€™t understand why yet.

If you ask then listen, youā€™ll know the way.

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#265

Iā€™m up to running 15 minute loops of DRG1, and it still feels smooth.

When Iā€™m out and about I generally receive more deference and a healthy level of respect from people, even with people close who ā€œpokeā€ at me, they still expect me to make the decisions.

And it seems that due to my nature to want to share knowledge and teach, DRG1 is helping bring that out in a different wayā€¦

Iā€™m raising all my standards so that I can properly lead by example instead of lecture.

Iā€™d say these are a direct result of the virtue and regality scripting.

#266

Iā€™m beatā€¦tired af from not being able to fall asleep last night, which I turned into a couple hours of prayer and meditation that felt great.

Had an early morning training session that dug deep into the subconscious connections I have access to, and was pretty mentally taxing but produced some really cool insights and showed that I have a TON more digging to do.

The only ā€œcomplaintā€ Iā€™d have about today is that I was inefficient with my time and energy.

Probably a factor of only getting 4 hours or so of sleep, but still, Iā€™d prefer to do better regardless of how tired I feel. Which Iā€™m thinking means that I need to add back in a little more structure to my daily schedule for a little while.

One of those things is going to be a stricter sleep time. Not sleeping enough blows.

#267

Had a dream where I turned a personā€™s attempt at disrespecting me into some good jokes that made me smile and other people laugh, which in turn made the guy escalate into wanting to fight, putting his hands up and doing the ā€œmonkey danceā€ ā€“ that bullshit where thereā€™s a lot of shit talking and squaring up, but no one actually throws a punchā€¦

I felt calm and ready, even when a second person jumped in the shit talking on the other guyā€™s side. That got me even more ā€œready to goā€, but after a couple seconds of assessing how easily I could take them I said, ā€œI donā€™t have time to waste fighting you idiots.ā€

Sure not the best transition to peace talks, lolā€¦but thatā€™s exactly what happened next. I opened a dialogue and asked what was up with him, he blamed me for the jokes, and when I asked about the disrespectful behavior he came clean.

The dream ended and I woke up when I said, ā€œItā€™s all good. Iā€™m at the point in my life where I understand that most problems are miscommunications and misunderstandings,ā€ and I walked away feeling good to have resolved things peacefully.

Dragon Reborn Gold is really helping me work on my empathy and patience, especially towards myself, and itā€™s boosting my capacity for forgiveness and letting things go. Even if I might add fuel to the issue a little at first, lol ā€“ it takes far more skill and awareness to communicate effectively and resolve things than it does to argue and fight, imo.

Situations have come up over the last several weeks that have brought awareness to the roots of some ā€œdefaultā€ behaviors, so I can DECIDE to change them.

Some people from my past have ā€œpopped upā€ recently, like an ex who reached out on social media a couple days ago, and itā€™s like it opens up a time capsule in my mindā€¦

They remind me of how I was back then, and offer a good point of contrast to who I am today.

And itā€™s when I get the pings of stronger emotional responses to certain things that I know I have some digging to do.

The healing journey with the NSE is keeping me on my toes, in a good way.

#268

Amazing sync with my dream and feeling greater empathy for myself and othersā€¦ on a group call with a couple of heavy hitters talking about the importance of RELATIONSHIPS over ā€œgetting deals doneā€ or making transactions. And not in a woo woo way, these guys care but are no non-sense about business success.

Transactions are going to be a part of it because we all have to eat and pay the rent, but the ā€œgoldā€ lies in sifting for and focusing in on the relational aspects of ā€œdoing businessā€.

When you actually care about more than making money i.e. the results people get, you open up a whole new range of possibilities.

Case in point: this here business, Subliminal Club.

Coming from a childhood well below the poverty line, Iā€™m still digging up ā€œscarcity pocketsā€ and the reminder to LET GO of that subtle grafting of ā€œneedinessā€ in how Iā€™m approaching these bigger deals.

Another Dragon Reborn Gold result for sure, especially since Iā€™ve been guiding it to also address wealth related hang ups.

#269

No one gets pissed off, defensive, or dismissive if you genuinely seek to understand them betterā€¦

And if they do, it seems to be a clear indication that theyā€™re either attempting to manipulate or afraid of something.

#270

Experiencing a level of clarity and creative inspiration today that I havenā€™t had in awhile. Like layers of muck thatā€™s been stifling it from rising up have been removed.

Had the idea to add more ā€œstructureā€ to my days the other day, and know how to create a rigid schedule and stick to it, but thatā€™s not what works for me or it would have already. Today a different idea popped up to pay more attention to energy and flow, and create a ā€œstructureā€ around that.

Not exactly pomodoro, and not super rigid ā€œwork blocksā€, something ā€œin betweenā€ I thinkā€¦something that prioritizes leveraging and replenishing energy over the ā€œjust grind it outā€ mentality, but doesnā€™t operate on motivation or ā€œfeeling like itā€. Itā€™s proved to be an inefficient use of my time and energy to do either of those things.

Idk what that looks like exactly, but Iā€™ll be testing things out over the next several weeks and see what results I get.

I think it really comes down to being able to attenuate the noise, direct attention, and notice when itā€™s time to either narrow or broaden focus. All powered by the discipline of ā€œshowing upā€ to do what needs doing.

Easy peasy :laughing:

Overall, Iā€™d say this is basically a result of a deeper process going on where Iā€™m deep diving into my values, letting go of old paradigms, trusting myself more deeply and strengthening my innovation/creative muscle.

ā€œAdding structureā€ to my day is just one way that thatā€™s expressing.

Dragon Reborn Gold St1 manā€¦running it for a second cycle was a good call.

#271

Iā€™m getting a LOT of practice with patience and skillful communication the last several daysā€¦

The patience practice is mostly happening in business contexts. The opportunities to apply skillful communication seems to be happening EVERYWHERE thoā€¦

In a teaching context, I experienced something yesterday that I handled super well, even if I was a little disappointed that the thing happened because I made an error to begin with.

The thing that stood out to me when I reflected back: I was completely unfazed by making an error like that in front of a groupā€¦a lot of eyeballs were expecting me to do it right.

I just addressed it, owned it, and moved on.

After explaining what the error was and what not to do (that Iā€™d done), I invited the challenge again and showed how to do it right. It got a very positive response. Almost better than if Iā€™d done it right the first time, I think.

I can tell that DRG1 is helping me tap into a greater sense of humility and composure than Iā€™ve had in the past. My desire to serve is growing, and so is a sense of dignified humilityā€¦which I got an awesome opportunity to experience first-hand through that mistake I made.

How can fear of ā€œmessing upā€ enter in when you accept whatever happens and learn from your mistakes?

#272

I read the Dragon Reborn Gold sales page this morning to refresh my mind with the possibilities and this sentence popped out for me where freedom is being defined:

The mind is free to explore, innovate, and create without the fear of failure or rejection

It reminded me of what I wrote a couple days agoā€¦

With healing, itā€™s sometimes not obvious what deep changes have taken place until you experience a similar context/trigger and notice you have a completely different response than you assumed you would, or had in the past.

Thatā€™s what my ā€œnervesā€ were about going into certain contexts like teaching: a fear of failure ā€“ because I care a lot about providing value and good information. And I got to SEE first hand what my real time response would be if I ā€œmessed up big.ā€

It was super obvious in that context how a deep trigger to ā€œdo it right the first timeā€ has melted away.

A context where it wasnā€™t super obvious was in negotiatingā€¦

Until today.

I got instant feedback that made me realize that I ā€œhave the stuff.ā€ It was a very Kung Fu Panda ā€œthere is no secret ingredientā€ moment.

Since I was asked by a friend for my input on negotiating a deal, I was detached enough to ā€œlet it flowā€ with a response they could write. And my friend let me know that the person who had been stalling got back INSTANTLY, and things are in motion again.

The other thing that stood out today is that Iā€™m starting to humbly ACCEPT being seen as a ā€œleaderā€ of sorts to some of my friends, at least in certain contexts.

I have a pretty good sense that I donā€™t know way more than I think I know, but Iā€™m also at a point now where not knowing is part of the FUN. Because I donā€™t gotta know, I get to find out.

And thatā€™s come as a direct result of going deeper with developing my spiritual connection, which seems like itā€™s easier with DRG1.

Today is the last day of the second cycle with Dragon Reborn Gold Stage 1ā€¦and itā€™s been :fire:

#273

Had my FIRST experience in a spiritual group speaking over everyoneā€™s experience, asking for wisdom and guidance from Spiritā€¦

And during the session, someone received the exact words I needed to hear to a question I had, to the point where I had a full body ā€œelectricā€ response and I KNEW instantly what the message meant. It was incredible for me.

Others had some new revelations as well that excited them.

Super uplifting stuff.

This group has only existed for a month, of which weā€™ve only spent 6 hours togetherā€¦

And the difference of who I am today from who I was then I hardly noticed until today. Until I was volunteered to speak over the group, and instead of listening to the thought that ā€œI need more learningā€, I chose to step boldly and humbly into it.

I am who I am.

I did the work over the last month for this to have been possible, and DRG1 helped.

:fire:

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#274

Sleep wasnā€™t great last night, but today was a good day.

Addressed some things in training that I realized Iā€™d been too lax withā€¦meaning Iā€™d let some things go to my head a bit, and itā€™s time to sharpen my edge again.

Invested some time in self-care, had some fun, and even got in a couple hours of learning.

One thing that couldā€™ve been better that was a little off was my decision-making. I was a little less focused towards the afternoon / evening with what I put my attention on. Probably due to the crappy sleep.

#275

Thinking a little more deeply on my values and how Iā€™m showing up to my life, and in the world todayā€¦

Flashes of me living up to a higher standard and potential continue to be served up in my mindā€™s eye more and more every day.

Thoughts rise up and attempt to convince me about how ā€œhardā€ that would be, and how ā€œall these things have to happen firstā€ in order for it to even be a possibilityā€¦

And for the areas Iā€™ve experienced little progress or messed up in, Iā€™m more susceptible to entertaining those negative thoughts.

But, theyā€™re all LIES.

Their incentive is to keep me operating in the same ways.

Awareness of that is an important step, but that alone hasnā€™t unlocked the doorā€¦

Iā€™ve been meditating on forgiveness and how hard it can be lately. And I realize that itā€™s absolutely essential in order for me to be who I will be. Itā€™s one of the master keys to unlock new levels.

Levels where more fun, adventure, joy, love, and gratitude can be had WHILE Iā€™m grounded in reality.

The vision that keeps popping up in snapshots is inspiring, even if it means a level of responsibility I havenā€™t wanted to accept. Iā€™m willing to take it on now.

The fire of Dragon Reborn Gold Stage 1 risesā€¦

:fire:

#276

Iā€™m not religious, but I spent my childhood (unwillingly) raised up in one of the big ones: I faked being sick to get out of it as much as I could get away with, lol.

Iā€™ve been consciously guiding DRG1 to work on the roots of any blockages on my path to ridiculous wealth ā€“ the ā€œanti-richā€ programming goes deep ā€“ and as I was thinking of my values today and where I prefer to invest, I had the thought to look something up in the Bibleā€¦

And the first result was this (using the amplified version for easier reading):

17As for the rich in this present world, instruct them not to be conceited and arrogant, nor to set their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly and ceaselessly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. 18Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous, willing to share [with others]. 19In this way storing up for themselves the enduring riches of a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life.

I felt something shift like the opening clang of steel barsā€¦

It was exactly what I needed to read.

Following the calm nudges that rise up from that secret place seems to always lead me to where I need to be and to what I need to see.

#277

Charity, not exactly that you give money to others but to devote your time helping people in need.
This is where I found myself, hiding on a cave for a long time.

#278

Sounds like you got something out of that passage too. Thatā€™s awesome. :fire:

What you said reminds me of something elseā€¦it goes something like: if you want to give, sharing what you have is good enough. You canā€™t give something you donā€™t have.

Iā€™ll have to look that up because I probably butchered it, lol

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#279

Completed the 5 day break between cycles today, and noticed a strong desire to get started on Dragon Reborn Gold Stage 2 mid-breakā€¦

The processing during the break was good and relatively smooth, but there were a couple days of ā€œchoppy watersā€ where some identity level patterns and beliefs were called into question. It got a little uncomfortable, which is probably why I thought to ā€œjust start stage 2ā€ so I could get that sweet dose of positivity, but I stayed the course and just faced the things that came upā€¦not that I have it ā€œall figured outā€ now, but I have a better grasp on a couple perspectives that were keeping me in a holding pattern.

Iā€™m looking forward to stage 2, especially the part where ā€œvirtues transform from concepts to living practicesā€ā€¦

Nothing about it screams ā€œeasyā€ to meā€¦but that doesnā€™t mean it has to be that hard either.

Either way, I plan on being better off on the other side of two cycles.

Tomorrowā€™s the first dose of Dragon Blood :drop_of_blood:

#280

Want to note interesting ā€œcoincidenceā€ that happened today tooā€¦

After a group meeting where we explored the concept of baptism by the Holy Ghost, about an hour later a homeless guy walking passed in the opposite direction looked at me and said, ā€œJesus is calling you, pick up your heart and answer the call.ā€

The girl I was with was totally weirded out and didnā€™t look at him ā€“ he was talking at us pretty loud and aggressively with his message of peace, lol ā€“ but I kept relaxed eye contact with him as we passed each other because it made me sort of half smile and wonder. Plus, he didnā€™t seem like a threat to me.

After a few paces I noticed she was still tense so I got her to laugh and her tension vanished. And we went on to have a nice time.

But the the timing of the words that came out of that random homeless dudeā€™s mouth stayed with meā€¦

Itā€™s fascinating.

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