Struggling with PMO

#1

I go strong for 2 to 3 days and then I just relapse. Even if I stay busy during the day, I manage to find time to relapse Ughh this is really frustrating me. I just seem to go into a trance!
Please give me some steps to tackle this. :sob:

#2

What’s the point of this post?

#3

What the flying fuck did I just read?

#4

QL ST1 is recommended to remove the limiting belief that

" not knowing how to offer help can be covered by using irrelevant collection of words"

#5

just my 2 cents:

I’ve tried nofap several times, a few streaks of around 50 days and my longest streak was a recent one of 70 days. In my opinion having long streaks of nofap is not something that you need to do. I didn’t feel any different on day 14 as I did on day 70. And when I relapsed I didn’t feel any worse, on the contrary I felt a little bit better.

The most important thing is that you don’t pmo too often. I think that pmo more than 2x a week is too much. I would even recommend restricting it to 1 time a week or even once every 2 weeks. If I do it more than 2 times a week I notice do feel weaker and more anxious. I think this has to do with sexual exhaustion. I came to this conclusion after reading an online article.

I do it this way I don’t notice any negative effect from pmo. The only thing you have to keep in mind is that after an orgasm you might feel a bit more anxious. This will last for a hour and normally last for a day at maximum. The shorter the time between each pmo session the “worse” the anxious feeling is for me. There is a name for this feeling after an orgasm, I forgot what’s called. So I would recommend not to do pmo the day before you have something important.

I do think though that it’s a good idea to do a reset of 30-60 days.

Of course this is my opinion and I’m not saying that any of these thing are facts. This is just my experience after 4 years of nofap experience.

#6

May I offer an alternative?

Jerk off as often as you like, to porn if you like, but if you do you have to make it last at least an hour. Start at 30 mins of you can’t last an hour, but build up to it. Focus on the sensations rather than ejaculating.

It’ll provide a release, while stopping you looking for instant gratification. It’ll also build your sexual energy tremendously. And you’ll be able to last as long as you like when you’re with a woman.

#7

Associate tremendous pain with relapsing and tremendous pleasure with your streak.
Habit building 101.
Check out “atomic habits” by james clear.
Dopamine receptor repair and overload by sapien medicine (morphic fields) are good boosts.

But the principle is pleasure/pain.

When the urge to bust a nut arises it’s usually very dominating. Hijacks your entire body and state of mind. Can be fairly persistent too, resisting even cold showers, physical exercise and other methods to lessen the urge.

At the end of the day urges aren’t constant. They must pass if you observe them w/o energizing them. Stop, take some deep breaths. First quickly contemplate your why. Why the pain of relapsing is not worth it, and why the pleasure of getting the nofap gains is worth it to you. Discipline will not be applied without sufficient motive.

Then you just observe the sensations mindfully, being definite on your intention to not succumb to them until they fade.

#8

Okay see this is worded much better. Anyways in this case when it comes to this your gonna have to endure and keep yourself occupied. It sucks ass, but it’s the true way to get through it.

#9

This article is well written and brings it to the point.

…
Paula Hall is a psychotherapist and specialises in the treatment of people who say they are addicted to sex and porn. She doesn’t think abstaining from masturbation is a long-term solution when treating clients who would describe themselves as porn addicts.

For some a period of abstinence is helpful for them to be able to get to know what their natural libido is like," she says. “But for many, particularly for those that are single so may not have any other sexual outlet, trying complete abstinence from masturbation is very difficult and can be very disheartening.”

The key thing to understand in all addictions is that it’s the function of the behaviour that defines it as an addiction," she says. "So whether you’re somebody who is compulsively viewing animated pornography or someone who is compulsively chatting online or someone who is compulsively visiting sex workers, it’s that dependency on the behaviour that defines it as addiction."

Alexander Rhodes points to the growing ranks of NoFap forum users as evidence of the need for groups like his to help men struggling to cope with their internet pornography habits.

"'NoFap’ is an organisation that supports its users regardless of what their goals might be as long as they’re trying to improve their sexual health and live their sexual habits in a way that they want to," he says, pointing out that abstinence is not the ultimate aim of all participants. "We don’t have a unified goal. Some people want to masturbate some people don’t want to masturbate - it hosts a wide variety of people with different viewpoints."
…

In essence you should know if you are wasting time with a compulsive behaviour or if you are using masturbation and porn for a sexual healthy life. When you are in a relationship or married like me you have sex on a regular basis (hopefully).
NOFAP is totally overrated. Saving energy? In a relationship you will have sex on a regular basis. Many times a week. The difference? Its real and more satisfying than watching porn. And here is the key: If fapping prevents you from taking action to get into a real partnership it is counterproductive. If porn consumes you and you get addicted to it its time to make a cold turkey. Otherwise masturbation is healthy and totally normal. I dont see any real problem you have atm.

#10

I appreciate your article and your efforts, and I really try to stay … cool while writing this.
The part I agree with is that everybody has to know for themselve. That’s it.
Regarding nofap is overrated and energy and so on…
I lived my own life, I made my own experiences to know what to think about it.
Sorry if I sound rude, we may even have a similar opinion on this, but it is just still a very sensitive topic for me.

#11

Why not stay cool? The article only reflects my opinion about the whole nofap stuff.
I often stated that i am not a fan of it like other stated that they are fans of it. So what?
There are tons of information about it on the web. Pro and contra. Everybody will find the infos he need at this time in his life. Nothing more.

#12

What I agree with you on is that I need to become cooler regarding this topic.
It is just that my own experiences and what has happened in my life so far show me all the information and evidence I need. I dont know how it is in the US but where I live… people are virtually obsessed with studies, articles and experts telling them what to do. They need experts to tell them not to hit their heads with a brick all day.
It makes me furious seeing someone, a so called “expert” (I dont mean you) telling me what is good for me when my own experiences clearly state the opposite.
This is a general issue I have with this sort of topic, not trying to attack you or your post.
I just wonder… why do people not go by their own experience and instead listen to … (well, think of a fitting insult) who havent lived one second of their life?

#13

I dont know and thats the advantage of such a forum here. I can post my experierences and others can post their experiences. So i can learn from others and thats what counts.

Learning by doing is totally underrated and the lazy approach to follow any expert is realy a problem nowadays.
"Every day another sow is driven through the village" German saying

#14

Have you discovered & noted what your main triggers are?

  • Seeing a porn ad on a pirate site?
  • Friends sending naughty pics on whatsapp?
  • Fantasizing about some girl you saw today?
  • Specific types/fetishes - hentai schoolgirls, teens, sideboob, etc.?
  • ?

It helps to know what your kryptonite is, so you can be more careful around it.

If you use any apps to track your duration since last relapse,
switch to one that not only marks Days, but also Hours, Minutes, & Seconds.
Even better if they gamify and have a community. Eg: Rewire Companion on Android.
[No personal experience, just googled right now.]

It’s impossible to say no to the Day, but you may be able to procrastinate it off for another 10 minutes. And that may be all it takes to break the trance. :blush:

HTH