Starting Genesis: facing self-doubts

Questions and Comments
#1

I posted this in my journal, but thought I’d put it here. I’ve been on CFW for one cycle, and I’m on day 2 of a 5 day washout.

I’m really itching to start Genesis . Sitting in self deprecation non-stop, even habitually, leads to me hiding out more and more, avoiding beneficial opportunities.

Financially it’s a big motivator for me. I’ve owned a trading platform since January of this year. And I. Have. Not. Even. Tried. It. Yet. Not bullshitting.

I bought it since it’s a sure winnrer. But my mind quickly goes from earning a couple hundred per week extra to making more than I need, and poof! I don’t move.

Related to CFW, I have had small awarenesses of a money belief lately. Damn… It’s “if I become wealthy and secure, I’ll abandon people”. That’s stalled me out–for years, literally. It points out one of my biggest inner traumas. Being abandoned.

I’ll ask here. Is it too soon to start?

Wow–if that’s the right word–I realized Genesis could push me to be successful, and I’d…abandon people…and possibly myself. I didn’t think CFW was percolating in me. I think I’m wrong.

Is it too soon to start Genesis? I’m sure I’ll hear lots of “no’s”. I’m seeking some saner thinking, because (not acting because of) fear stinks.

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#2

Start in 3 days. :slight_smile:

It’ll be wonderful.

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#3

Not sure how “sane” I am though. :laughing::crazy_face:

I’m on day 13 of Genesis in my stack.

Going to use it long term.

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#4

I relate to this on a metaphysical and spiritual level.

I don’t think so, you should go for it.

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#5

What does that look like?

Sitting in Self deprecation.

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#6

I just feel like I discourage myself constantly, pointing to imagined fears and worst-case possibilities. I do it in nearly every part of life, finances being just one.

CFW is still digging again, as I’m usually not so frustrated by it.

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#7

Great awareness at least. Change your story & persist. Create a new you. Easier said than done of course. :crazy_face:

I wonder how the new version would be for me!

I listened to the experimental one which helped motivate me to leave my career. I was in contemplation mode everyday while at work during that stack.

I would daydream about walking off the job. :flushed: I cared less about my job duties and more about my freedom.

& it happened shortly after!

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#9

You sit down to contemplate your life. And then your brain pulls out all your past failures, disappointments, embarrassments etc. And makes a jokes on that. And I end up laughing sarcastically at my problems.

I mean atleast that’t how it happens to me.

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#10

Good for you!!!

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#11

Changing my story…

Made me shed some tears since I know I am holding on to some stale shit–which I know isn’t good for me. Mostly supposedly “safe” beliefs.

And part of me desires Genesis since I’m wishing to know the true me vs. the “(overly) safe, guarded, and unfulfilled” one. I actually have thought (CFW working here) that being me meant putting on another mask. Who the f*** would want that? I don’t. I think CFW is pulling up this BS thinking.

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#12

& then you could celebrate how far you’ve come?

Change your experience of it all… revise YOU.

The gift of polarities.

My new fav subject atm.

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#13

Shed the masks and put on a new suit :slight_smile:

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#14

That’s easier said than done, you know. It’s hard to stay positive most of the time. But I do plan to do that, once I have the opportunity to run Genesis or any other healing title.

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#15

I don’t even mean to be positive all the time.

Sometimes we are too hard on ourselves.

I’ve learned to love all my parts. The “negative” parts led to the positive ones.

I don’t see the negative as catastrophic anymore.

Perception shift.

Looking forward to you trying Genesis. It’s great!

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#16

I’m laughing at my response here, because it’s too true.

Ever got locked up trying to plan your new suit in your head, but keep feeling like you’re botching it? I have, multiple times.

I’m going to do 2 things today. First, I’m going to go purchase Genesis. Next, I’m gonna go find a place where I can walk and sort out my head. I’m hiding at home right now. I want to drive down to the boat docks. I’ve done that 2 times when facing big challenges. I need some peace with myself.

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#17

That sounds lovely.

Rock on :metal:t2:

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#18

@subliminalguy

Something to keep in mind. Read a few of your posts from over 1 year ago, and then look at yours now, and notice the differences. What do you notice that is different?

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#19

I just purchased Genesis.

Regarding CFW, it’s a hell of a lot easier to handle vs. the experimental version. I still remember it like it was walking up to perceived fears and saying “YOU!! OUT NOW!!!” which put me in a recon spin. Like a tough-ass drill sargeant demanding his way.

Version 2 doesn’t use such strategies. It seems to almost balance with the anti-victim scripting to where I’m taking charge of my own healing. Which I can’t really claim I did before.

Also, I feel a sense of loving persistence saying “you need to let go of this”. I’m looking forward to how Genesis works with CFW

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#20

I didn’t even read old posts before replying here. A major one I am still integrating is a sense that I am in charge of myself. I compare this to spending years (decades actually) seeking and needing others imput, permission, and direction for me to act. I equated independence with abandonment, which is why I was stuck there like forever. It kept me in a perpetual little boy mode.

Needing to get off my ass and get out today :wink:. CFW is allowing those emotional tethers to disintegrate.

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#21

Scan for different. <3

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