[STACK] Road to Abundance (Trans. Med. 4) - EoG and a bit of EV4/EQ

Journals - Major Programs
#101

ST1 - Day 23 - 112h - 3/3/20 - Post 2

Oh my this is a desaster. My anxiety this morning was even worse than yesterday. It’s horrible. I just wanted to be far away from everyone and everything and get under my cozy blanket at home. Anxiety/Fear is just horrible. I don’t wish that on anyone.
Later on this got better luckily so at work I wasn’t as awkward as yesterday, but still pretty shy although we are just 3 people there. But I feel like this gets better.
What definitely is a problem though is that for now there is no possibility for me to play EoG/LD at work because I am talking alot with the manager about everything to understand and learn the basics by heart. But I guess this will change in a week or two.

Other than that… I should stop the afternoon nap. I feel like it just makes me even more tired. I should sleep less and meditate more.

Oh yes, I wanted to tell you about this! Something is going on in my life behind the scene right now. There are too many coincidences all happening in the past few weeks and they get more and more.
Friends of mine start talking about a topic which is very uncommon and a topic I just thought about the day before for example.
Here are some synchronicities from today, but I forgot a few, so this is incomplete.

  • A guy at work wearing the same jacket like me. The jacket isn’t that common.
  • A friend of mine asked me yesterday about a series, I just happened to think of this series yesterday, but I watched it years ago
  • My boss has a whiteboard at work, where he drew out the process of the business. I just thought “It is a pretty detailed map, imagine I’d just erase it”. A minute later he did just that.
  • We talked about education and I asked if I could see some of the books he brought to the office. One of them is a small booklet about The Law of Attraction

Really, there were more things like this happening lately. For example the woman that got treated by the medics at the dentist’s. A few hours ago I told my mom sarcastically “Just imagine what horrible things could happen to someone, even without your doing!” I meant it as a joke and when this happened I instantly remembered it. It was really stupid and foolish of me.

Anyway, I don’t know why this is happening now. Maybe because of EoG, maybe because Limit Destroyer helps with manifesting. I don’t know.

Edit: Another synchronicity just after I wrote this. For days this song “Mad world” is stuck in my head and now I saw a Donnie Darko-Ad in a Comic Book I read.

2 Likes
#102

ST1 - Day 24 - 117h - 3/4/20

My headphones broke. Now I can’t listen to my anti-anxiety-audios anymore. I’ve thought about this problem and decided to ask Saint to give me EmpQ aswell.
I just can’t sit around all morning asking myself if I’ll be anxious again or not, just to crouch around all day like a whimp, avoiding contact with others.
So… this will unbalance my already unbalanced stack a bit, but it’s probably just for a few day, then I’ll be able to reintegrate all missing parts.
All in all I just feel like Emperor is suited very well for me. It’s just that it constantly distracted me and made me think of girls so I had problems concentrating.
I’ll also think about a solution for that.

2 Likes
#103

You have anxiety? Have you tried Regeneration & Elixir?

2 Likes
#104

ST1 - Day 25 - 117h - 3/4/20 - Post 2

The king is back.

This was the best day of the week so far. I don’t even know where to begin. First of all, my headphones aren’t broken, luckily. I figured it must be the wire that is broken, by when I use it on bluetooth-mode, it works just fine.
So what did I do? Emperor, guys, Emperor. Ev4 my old buddy. I started listening in the morning, on my way to work and at work and boy, just wow. My confidence was at a constant 5-6, I made jokes, I asked questions, I was highly motivated, I presented my ideas and we just had a ton of fun.
Really, I just love it. This is exactly what I missed. I asked Saint now, maybe I’ll even get EQ, which would be really fun. Something about confidence and anxiety I noticed is that when you are anxious you are completely absord in your inner world, when you are confident, you pay attention to the outer world. I don’t know exactly why that is yet, but it’s just a detail I noticed.

Something I just realised today is what this job actually means. It may be the greatest career step I took in my life. We are just a handful of people, at the beginning of something great. The people I work with are highly motivated, ambitious, fun and high-class business-men who know their stuff. I get to learn from people with real expertise and in a few months I’ll be in a leadingposition at the age of 20!
It’s just awesome, it’s fun and all I have to do now is lean back and enjoy the ride, because I feel like it will be very easy for me to dive deep into this stuff and build expertise really quickly.
Plus, we get along really well and I think these are very good friendships for life.
Ha, I love my love, man.

So, what about my stack now? I really hate to be the guy who switches subs every week but I think you have to always experiment. I feel like Emperor and EoG go along very well for me, plus I also have The Elixir. So what about Limit Destroyer? To be honest, I don’t know. It doesn’t feel right to ditch it because I feel like I profit big time from it. I feel like it is a tank, crushing the walls of the enemy, while Emperor is the general, EoG the stormtroops to capture my financial goals and The Elixir is the medical support unit. (Why do I dream so much of war, I wonder)
I feel like they work together very well.
So I’ll need to balance Emperor with EoG and Limit Destroyer, so the reconciliation doesn’t take me down anymore. The best thing to go about this I guess is to use Emperor in the morning and at work and EoG and Limit Destroyer when I am home, so it isn’t that problematic if I get anxious or anything.

@Tomcat Yes, I use Elixir

4 Likes
#105

ST1 - Day 26 - 124h - 3/5/20

Same observation, too much of Emperor disturbs my focus. So I’ll have to keep it low with it, maybe 1-2 loops in the morning. I notice when I do more, it starts to work on problems and I lose confidence. We don’t want that now.
Speaking of that I think it is very hard nowadays to have “emotional privacy”. I am not even sure what I mean with that. I am not really good in hiding my emotions but ofc we can’t run away looking as depressed/anxious/whatever as we actually feel inside.
There are some things that burden me right now and I ponder wether I should open Pandora’s Box now and deal with them or not. I have some kind of practice I do every now and then.
It is a meditation that hits really really deep in the guts, rips off all facades and barriers you held and the tears just start flowing and you cry a river.
It makes me very humble and actually I enjoy it, I feel deeply refreshed and renewed when I do it, although it takes alot of energy and then it still needs energy to process it for the next days.
I don’t know how to deal with this, I will think about it.
When we are outside and socialize of course we want to be confident and feel good, but we also do it to not make people feel uneasy. There is so much holding-back all the time.
I will think about wether I’ll do it or not. But I really want to.

3 Likes
#106

ST1 - Day 26 - 129h - 3/5/20 - Post 2

I just did it. Hope I wont be too much of a wreck tomorrow.
Going to sleep now, letting my body process all this and hopefully I will regain my confidence and ease.
See you on the other side

1 Like
#107

ST1 - Day 27 - 129h - 3/6/20

We’re wasting time.
The thing I was worried about is that I was supposed to meet someone today and I didn’t want to meet him as anxious as I was on Monday. I am not meeting him, so I can run Limit Destroyer and EoG the whole time now.
Regarding my business… it got stuck. I hired a freelancer who needs so much time for so little work and I could be already on to the next step. I am also a bit lazy, I confess.
Well, it can’t be helped, one step after the other.

Oh and it’s been days since I journaled the last time. I will correct that today. But I decided I will focus more on writing everything down that bugs me about my behaviour, what I think business is like, what stands in my way etc.

2 Likes
#108

ST1 - Day 27 - 131h - 3/6/20 - Post 2

Outsourcing is either heaven or hell. This time, it was hell. I ended up spending more time and energy with this guy then I’d spend if I did it myself. It’s ridiculous considering how easy the task was.
Now I am still not sure if everything is fine, I have checked but I found multiple mistakes and to my concern even mistakes I did before, so I will have to correct everything again.
For the third time now. And I haven’t even put the items in the store or reached out to an influencer.
Damn it.

I paid him now less than what I planned, not considerably less but less enough to be painful enough. I am really mad at him. He kept apologizing, but business is business and if you introduce yourself as an expert, you have to deliver like an expert, it is that easy. I don’t let anyone take advantage of me, especially not in business and I will keep becoming tough as nails and speak out when someone is rude enough to not only deliver poorly, but also robs me of my time.
I am done with scammers of any kind and one of my goals here is to break all internal barriers of false kindness and put people like this into their place where they belong.

2 Likes
#109

ST1 - Day 27 - 132h - 3/7/20

Deleted Steam. Consumed too much time.

1 Like
#110

ST1 - Day 27 - 137h - 3/7/20 - Post 2

Remember yesterday, how I thought it was hell? Hahahahahaha… How foolish of me.
If anything, today was hell.
I don’t even want to review it for a second, I am just happy it is over… partly. I was mad as hell and the amount of work was ridiculous but I said fuck it, I don’t care about anything anymore, I’m just bulldozing this, I don’t care about anything, I just want to finally get started.
I am happy I didn’t die of a heart attack.
Although I haven’t achieved what I planned for today to 100%, I am going to buy myself the reward I wanted to have. If there ever was any time I deserved something, it is now.

Damn. And I haven’t even sold anything yet, I haven’t even contacted an influencer or posted something. I didn’t even get to do the product description. It was just this stupid synchronizing today.
And damn, I am still so angry and agitated.
I am thinking… fuck classes, fuck this course, fuck the exams. I don’t care if I get 0%, it’s worthless anyway. I haven’t done much for the exams yet since it is the lowest of my priorities and I am supposed to hand in my papers on Wednesday.
And I fucking don’t care.

I actually don’t want to think in any direction now, because it all pisses me off. Thinking about freelancers reminds me of yesterday. Thinking about my business, I get angry for how little I got done today and yet it was so much effort and stress. Thinking about exams I get angry at my teacher for her selfishness. All she ever thinks and speaks of is “me me me me. I don’t have the time to do this also, me me me me me” Yeah, it’s like the rest of us is just laying around eating chips all day, because we have too much time, Miss.

Pff… Anyway, reward-time now.

3 Likes
#111

ST1 - Day 28 - 148h - 3/8/20 - Rest day
4. Week Progress: 0 / 1 Items sold

Will definitely journal deeper today. I feel these insecurities coming up again, thinking I am a fool, this wont work, my products are trash, people wont buy and if, they’ll want refunds etc.
So… I’ll get to roughly 150h on ST1. I don’t know if that is enough and I should move on to ST2 or stay. I will think about it.

Luckily, our friend and life-saver Saint sent me a copy of EmperorQ. I got the 1 hour long version. Excited to try it out tomorrow.

Believe it or not, there are still some formalities I have to resolve before I can start selling. We wasted a whole month and didn’t even started advertising yet. I am pretty angry about that.
Anyway, there is no help for it. Maybe I should map out the next steps in more detail.
I just wonder what exactly is stealing me so much time?

3 Likes
#112

ST1 - Day 29 - 148h - 3/9/20 - 1 Loop of EQ

Nothing to report so far. I don’t feel anything. Will do 2 loops, then head off to work.

1 Like
#113

ST1 - Day 29 - 148h - 3/9/20 - 2 Loops of EQ - Post 2

So this was my first day of using EQ… I played it before going to work and a little bit at work… and only then did I remember the posts about EQ making them very tired etc and instantly regret it.
I fought fatigue as best as I could, but I when I went home I just dropped into my bed and slept. I am still very tired.

The first effect I notice besides the fatigue is… how do I describe it… I noticed at work I thought about girls a lot, but more specifically about actually physically meeting girls after contacting them through online dating. This is what stuck with me the whole day.

Man, I’m still so tired…

4 Likes
#114

ST1 - Day 29 - 148h - 3/9/20 - 2 Loops of EQ - Post 3

Alright, I am a bit more awake now and feel like I can elaborate on the current status.
I got 2 days left to write a 20-25-pages-paper about my business. I currently got… 3.
My plan is to write about 5 pages each day to get to 20 pages til wednesday. But I honestly don’t care that much about it. I just want to put a bit of effort into it, because this whole thing costed alot of money.

Next thing: My job. The job itself is pretty easily handled and the boss is satisfied with my efforts and how fast I learn (I use the learning-methods I talked about before and learned pretty much everything about the business, the business model, what is important etc in 1 week when my coworker needed about 1 month. Not to brag about it, I just want to say these learning-methods can make a hell of a difference. Regarding learning I also feel like I have lost many limits. I feel like I accepted it is possible for me to activate my potential and be a genius, and I also naturally feel like it is very easy and what happens around me just confirms that)
There are only 2 things that make it a bit harsh right now.

  1. Well, I got to do all this besides preparing for exams and running a business. I also have to deal with my job after I get home, it is just expected of me to deal with these things on my own and I appreciate that, it is just a bit much right now, however I think it will get easier in a week or two when exams are over.

  2. There is an inner resistance emerging that tries to get me away from the job. This job is a golden opportunity and I feel this resistance trying to ef up my future by making me not wanting to go there, trying to show me all the ways it bores me etc. Just to get me to the point of giving up and quitting.
    I am definitely not going to, because I know this is a lifetime chance to really make something happen in just a few months and be completely independent by the end of the year. I am not letting this sluggish, tired, lazy, short-term-pleasure-seeking, responsibility-avoiding jerk ruin my future.

Oh about my business. I thought about it and I got to this conclusion:
Why stress about it so much?
Why do I think it all has to be done in a month? Sure, you should implement an idea as fast as possible and I just did that, but we am I making such a fuzz about having a completely functioning store, perfect ads, social media etc by monday?
I noticed my weird stressing madness when I noticed there is still a lot for me to learn regarding social media for example. This is not an excuse for laziness, just saying I should think more long-term, concentrate on the points that overlap with my job and build expertise through trial and error.
Just do 1 thing everday, concentrate on what is important for my job and my business at the same time (It is very similar so jackpot for me) and with time I will get to where I want to be. No need to get mad and stress out.

Edit: I also want to share a strange thought I had. Some of you know I like reading graphic novels. Recently I read one and there was a character in it that just intrigued me.
He was like a perfect rolemodel for me regarding business, dressing style, manners etc.
I like looking out for characters I admire and start copying their traits and make them my own. I thought maybe this is a very unique mentor manifestation haha

5 Likes
#115

This has also been happening to me. Interesting that I’m not the only one experiencing it. Maybe it’s a path to manifestation.

4 Likes
#116

I … hope so. Before, Emperor would make me crave girls but it would just result in resisting the urge to watch porn, because well, neural pathways.
I feel like this version actually helps you improve your dating life step by step, if you are someone with no experience at all.

5 Likes
#117

ST1 - Day 30 - 153h - 3/10/20 - 2 Loops of EQ

I had a strange nightmare. Maybe it was EQ, I really don’t know. There was a demonic power, haunting me. It really scared me. What gave me the chills is that I started hunting down the demon and then I somehow felt his energy inside me, as if I became the demon myself by trying to battle it.

Another dream took place in highschool, again with my teacher. This time it was an exam, and he stood in the door frame with the usual look on his face. The look he’d have before he got mad and yelled at me. This time I ignored it, I kinda thought “F u, man” and I faced the class and started chanting. I continued doing so until more than half of the class joined the chant, to demonstrate I was not afraid of him and I’d hold my ground.
It was very amusing actually.

I don’t know if I should play EQ in the morning. I don’t want to get all tired again when I arrive in the office. I’ll look through the journals and see what I can do

Edit: Whatever, I am in. Playing EQ before going to work and maybe at work too.

1 Like
#118

ST1 - Day 31 - 153h - 3/10/20 - 4 Loops of EQ

Wasnt tired at work today. Actually I feel pretty good. I think EQ and me will get along even better than me and EV4. I just don’t want these nightmares …

Edit: About my business… I feel like giving up. I have invested so much energy into all this and ugh… it’s so draining and there are still things showing up and getting in my way which is just annoying. And now I just calculated all the prices and fees I have to pay and I’d make almost exactly 10% of revenue off the prices I sell for.
I haven’t even sold anything yet and I don’t feel like I will. I feel horrible, tired, drained.
I feel like it’s enough and I should see some fruits of my hard work now. But nothing. I don’t want to see my business anymore, I am just annoyed and angry.
It pisses me off.

2 Likes
#119

ST1 - Day 32 - 154h - 3/11/20 - 4 Loops of EQ

I came up with a solution for the business. I should just continue as planned but concetrate more on digital products/ cheaper products.
What I am basically saying is I could have spared myself a lot of work if I did the math first and calculated the price and profits. That’s business 101 but I didnt do it because i was stupid

2 Likes
#120

ST1 - Day 32 - 159h - 3/11/20 - 6 Loops of EQ - Post 2

Mild anxiety this morning. Feel like EQ is behind it. It makes me very aware of my posture too. Overall I have the feeling EQ might finally be for me what it has been for others. I guess I said this already a few times, but I always trust in the process and just hope the best.

2 Likes