Solving Self-Worth Issues

Questions and Comments
#6

A few times. I even translated it to German, at least the most important chapters, so my fiancee can enjoy it as well. Translating made me understand it even more thoroughly.
I created a guided meditation for men (since all I found were for women).

But as with all that could greatly change my life, I’ve dropped it.

Perhaps I should restart this practice.

Khan 2 actually came to mind after reading your answer. If it is really missing self-worth, than perhaps adding something (self-worth) instead of destroying trauma or negative beliefs might be the most rewarding approach.
So instead of spending my life on TB until the issue is solved, moving forward to Total Reprogramming might be advisable.

I’ve run Phoenix in November and December. I didn’t feel anything from it. But I guess it worked somehow in the shadows.

That’s the angle I’ve used for the last two years with not much to show for.

Might be of course. But we’ve looked at anything that came to mind. And as I said, we tried this angle for years. We solved most of this issues. All kinds of consequences and the fears that came with it are cleared. Nothing left. I can’t find any negative consequence of being successful that I fear anymore.

#7

Try to simplify

Get off on what you don’t want every single time!

#8

That’s pretty much what a limiting belief is. @Skadoosh mentioned this once I think. I might butcher it lol. But he said the true limiting beliefs are the ones you don’t see and operate from them.

When you have a very deep limiting belief you’re not gonna be able to clear it in isolation. So maybe you need to really go past the point you’re hitting a wall at to start to uncover more.

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#9

Not pinged but gonna throw in my 2 cents.

LBFH + EoG1 used to give me an amazing sense of self esteem.

The Khan stages 1-3 didn´t really (consistently at least), after running them over a year I was nowhere near what I´d like to feel as a baseline, it was still busy cracking down bs programming/insecurities. However once I had my first loop of st4 everyhing suddenly “clicked”, came together and I felt fucking incredible. Think of walking through the storm to suddenly becoming the storm on St4.

So I´d suggest to run with St4 for a while + LB/LBFH

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#10

The thing is, I’m not sure male sexuality works that way. First I translated an English mediation, simply replacing female with male terms. But it felt so strange. Perhaps it’s just a me thing. But I could also imagine that it’s a general difference between sexes.

But perhaps it could work with joy as well as pleasure.

That’s a very fair point. We can only work with what we know about.
But I’ve learned a few techniques to communicate with parts of the subconscious mind that usually stay hidden. So I have a behavioral pattern I don’t like, so I go in a kind of trance and ask the part that causes this pattern to show itself. Then I am often able to solve this issues. Without knowing about them before.

But with my issue, it didn’t help. So it might be that there is something hidden even deeper.

Or it might be that I’m just missing something. Like a skill. The skill of self-worth that I need to learn.

I considered running each stage for one cycle than restart the whole Khan again, perhaps a bit more on stage 4.
And Lovebomb is accompanying me since its release, and now in the form of my custom it will stay for quite some time.

#11

You recommend that book a lot. I haven’t finished it yet myself

#12

I believe that some of the concepts are very useful. Maybe it’s more useful for females though.

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#13

Perhaps you could explain the term of “Getting off”. When I read it, I thought it meant something like having an orgasm.
But is this even the right direction?
Or is it rather trying to enjoy the sensation?

Orgasms are vastly different for men and women. Especially in the standard version.
Without proper training (meaning you still ejaculate) this is a quite limiting factor for men.
Only once you’re able to have a “dry” orgams, you can have multiple.

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#14

I wasn’t being critical. It was just an observation. I enjoyed what I read of the book so far I just think the title is a bit misleading. It’s basically a book about shadow work. Not sure entirely what that has to do with existentialism but ok

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#15

It’s about embracing and finding pleasure in the hidden, shadowy parts of yourself that are subconsciously drawn to negative or unwanted experiences.

By fully acknowledging, accepting, and even “enjoying” these shadow desires, you release resistance and shift your relationship with those experiences. Bringing unconscious patterns into your awareness allows you to break free from them and create space for what you truly want.

Orgasms are a powerful release of energy. When combined with intention and acceptance, they can deepen the process of integrating shadow desires. I’ve experienced this firsthand.

For women, orgasming during this practice can feel more expansive and emotional, helping to release stored tension and transform the energetic charge behind the desire. For men, it’s more focused on channeling the physical release into conscious awareness and redirecting the energy to dissolve resistance.

Finding physical pleasure while focusing on something you “don’t want” can dissolve the emotional charge and resistance tied to it, helping you neutralize its grip and change your perspective.

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#16

It ties into existentialism by encouraging you to embrace all parts of your human experience, even the uncomfortable and shadowy parts we usually resist. Existentialism is all about confronting life’s uncertainties, taking responsibility for your choices, and finding meaning in a chaotic world.

This book does something similar by showing how accepting and even enjoying your hidden desires or patterns, especially the ones creating unwanted experiences, can help you shift your reality. It is about bringing awareness to what has been buried and using that to take back your power, which feels very aligned with the existentialist idea of owning your truth and transforming through it.

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#17

Typically, a kink refers to deriving pleasure from something seemingly unpleasant within a sexual context, such as being beaten, suffocated, or degraded. Existential Kink extends this concept to the fundamental aspects of existence itself. Essential existential processes often reveal a similarly “kinky” dimension—for instance, the fear of being humiliated by a superior, or the dread accompanying the arrival of an unexpected bill you’re unsure how to pay.

In essence, it invites us to embrace the paradoxical enjoyment hidden within life’s discomforts, unveiling the profound interplay between resistance and desire that shapes our experience of reality.

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#18

Yeah I’m also dealing with similar issues so I can’t really help at the moment.

I’m trying to breath it all to harmony, 2 days ago I started this simple heart coherence breathing and it’s helping realign myself deeply and uncover, through the breath and centering of the heart, parts within the body where energy is stuck on a physical and emotional level.

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#19

I tried to find but couldn’t, lol but check your pm I try to explain emotion side of limiting beliefs

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#20

Allow me to get through, but as I was reading the first post, I thought about AoH. Maybe it would be good for the situation.

It has been a very good experience for me.

Even living with my father, which was one of the most painful things in my life after my mother’s death, is becoming something good and valuable.

Furthermore, with it I feel that my “inner guide” is always on.

It’s as if I always knew what was really going to be good for me, which paths I really want to take. I don’t know, it came into my mind… It might be good for you, if you feel the calling.

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#21

There’s this phenomenon that happens with gifted children where they become quite lazy. The reason is really interesting. They get praised for being smart that conditions them to value intelligence… And intelligence is how good you are at something without trying or practicing…

It sounds like you are quite smart when it comes to sales, and once you got that validation that you were the smartest in the group, you got what you wanted so you took your foot off of the gas

I’d suggest not looking at your relationship to self-worth, but your relationship to work and effort, as well as real long-term mastery rather than just short-term validation. This might be a delayed gratification issue,

I agree that your time on Khan will help you because it’s about true greatness, which never comes without effort

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#22

This is interesting :face_with_monocle: I do feel it’s more like boredom than laziness for me.

I am considered “gifted” and see where this might be something I am doing. If you take your foot off the gas aren’t you essentially coasting?

Long term mastery…. I see how reframing is useful when becoming “bored” or “lazy.”

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#23

Yeah, that was me. Didn’t need to learn in school until French entered the curriculum. Suddenly I had bad grades.

Since I can’t see my own blind spot, I can’t say for sure. But I gave my best to eliminate this during my time at university. I had subjects I sucked at and didn’t like the professor. So I put the pedal to the metal to get good grades nevertheless.
But that was before my burnout. So maybe it’s a valid factor.

This is definitely something I have to keep working on. Especially since I connect seriously s work with being left alone as a kid.

But generally, it feels like a intangible resistance, like when you’ve encountered the end of the map in a video game.

Just had a longer conversation with my fiancee.
No concrete results as of yet.

But it feels like I’m stuck in analysis paralysis.
I’m so focused on understanding why I can’t get myself to work, that I didn’t even try anymore.

One last process later, and then I’ll simply start working. Fuck the reasons, fuck my self worth issues. I’ll just do it with them.
(Is this Khan?)

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#24

Have you focused on inner work? Like knowing what do when a less than positive thought, feeling, or behavior keeps happening in any occasion? And also resolving it rather quickly… Imo this is a good litmus test to see if someone has done inner work optimally.

There’s so many method out there but I found the most progress with Core Transformation (parts work). I also found the letting go book, Sedona method, wholeness process, and many more methods useful. Nowadays I just “know” what to do.

David Snyder also has the magic frame and spinning method on his YT. His identity by design course is good for inner work.

I don’t mean to dump a whole bunch of material on you, but you could also try an emotional healing subliminal. Tbh, I should’ve started with an emotional healing subliminal along with the subliminals I wanted to run - so important.

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#25

I’ve experienced something similar as well. Whenever life backs me into a corner where it’s 100% or perish, i excel far beyond my expectations each and every time. The feeling of having such enormous potential and power causes laziness since " I could do it any time, It’s already mine, Ill do it another day etc. "

Whenever you are rewarded for going ALL IN and doing great at that. It give’s a false since of security because, in this situation, you know you will pull it off again and again when it’s absolutely necessary

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