[SOLO] Ichiban's EmperorQ journey


#1

Today I start my journal with Emperor, SOLO.

As I mentioned on another post, over the past 5 weeks I’ve been using Emperor and Stark as core subs, with Commander, Aura and Sanguine as support modules. I’ve used them in various ways, from combining Emperor and Stark almost equally throughout the day, to separating them in different days, to more recently separating them in different weeks and with no other modules in the mix.

Just completed my week using only Stark, and the outcome is that I still prefer Emperor by a lot. Yes, Stark made me more social than Emperor, but it also made me more tired in general. In fact, two days ago I woke up the most tired I’ve been in a long time, even though I also slept way more than usual. I don’t like to stay in bed in the mornings and I’m typically up after 5-6 hours feeling like I couldn’t sleep any longer, however with Stark I’ve been sleeping 6-8 hours and still didn’t want to get out of bed.

The most important thing, however, is that I kept missing the feeling that Emperor gave me. It’s hard to describe, but it feels like a very deep-rooted confidence in myself, like nothing or no one can make me feel bad. I felt solid, grounded, “on-purpose”. I could be social, but preferred to do other things. Also, I didn’t feel more tired, quite the opposite. Many days I noticed that the time I spent in bed felt double what it was, probably because dreams were easier to remember and somehow more real, complete stories as opposed to my regular kaleidoscope of images and feelings embedded in a small story with no beginning or end.

Now, to provide some context, I’m a management consultant and have been doing this for almost eight years now. I enjoy the type of work that I do, but I’d rather move to something else outside of professional services, where I can have more control over what I work on, and not travel as much so that I can stay closer to my family. My goal is very simple, I want to do better in my career, and develop whatever needs to be developed (e.g., personality, skills, relationships, etc.) to advance faster and higher. I don’t mind if I have to stay in consulting a bit longer to benefit my career progression, but I ultimately want to change. I also wouldn’t shy away from starting my own business if a good idea or opportunity pops up, but right now that’s not what I’m after and would prefer to keep working for an established organization.

In terms of how I’ll be using Emperor, I’ll do as much as I can as long as it feels right. I like sleeping with the masked version on, as I’ve gotten used to it and actually helps me sleep. During the day, I play the ultrasonic version out of my phone while I work. I’m not being very rigid when it comes to the actual number of hours. For example, if I feel I’ve had enough exposure all morning, I may rest in the evening. Sometimes I also stop it in the middle of the night if I wake up and feel like I had enough. In terms of rest days, I usually reduce exposure either drastically or completely during the weekends, to provide some rest. However, even this I do it based on how I feel at the time. Everyone is different, so I prefer to keep doing what feels right to me instead of strictly following any recommendations.

Finally, I’m aiming for 6 months; longer if needed. I’ll also be trying to update this journal somewhat regularly. At least once a week, but also more often if something worth noting happens. To that point, I’m not expecting any crazy changes in attitude or feelings because this is not a new experience to me. I already reported those initial “effects” from the subliminals in early posts. Having said that, I will try to stay observant and will share anything out of the ordinary when it happens.


#2

Good luck on your journey as you said about Emperor Q, definitely the feeling is different. 6 months is really good but once you cross that you still wouldn’t let go EmpQ I believe you will run some more months.


#3

Thanks Donjuan! Yep, I could definitely see myself going over 6 months as I’m linking very much how it makes me feel. Now I’m just hoping results would follow!


#4

Very excited about how things are evolving only after three days.

The extreme confidence is returning gradually, but surely. By the end of day one, I already felt things flowing better. A veil was being lifted. I had more stable emotions and a better mood. On the second day, the array of feelings I missed for the entire week on Stark came back completely.

My dreams also started to be much more detailed and organized. They feel longer, so my time in bed feels longer as well. Last night I was ready to get up only after 4.5 hours, but I decided to stay in bed to get enough rest. That was a mistake. I woke up much more tired, which is normal for me if I sleep anywhere near eight hours. I should remember this next time.

I also noticed an increased drive to do outstanding work. I rarely do anything half-assed, but this is taking it to the next level—especially if it’s important. I was asked to create a post on LinkedIn, and I immediately went from needing to create “a post”, to wanting to write “the best post" anyone had ever created. I looked up books I had on the elements of rhetoric, I researched examples and best practices and, once I had the first draft, I ran everything through Grammarly to make sure it was as perfect as I could make it.

The good thing is that I instinctively knew that this was an important task and that I should commit that much time and effort. Aiming for perfection didn’t affect my productivity in this case. This would worry me because my job is extremely high-paced, so I couldn’t afford it.

It seems Emperor helps me judge where to focus my efforts. The day before Emperor had the opposite effect. I had a task to do and I kept thinking it wasn’t worth the extra effort to make it perfect. I went through it pretty quickly, did an okay job, and crossed it off my to-do list to focus on more important things. This turned out to be the right call, as my boss didn’t give two fucks about it.

Finally, these days I feel much more sexual. My libido is surely increased. Not that it was ever low, but I can definitely tell it’s higher, and on the rise :slight_smile: I don’t see this as either good or bad; I don’t need it, but it doesn’t bother me either. I take it as a side effect of choosing Emperor over something more focused like Mogul or even Ascended Mogul.


#5

Things keep moving in the right direction:

  • Super confident. Nothing brings me down
  • Good, sustained energy and less sleep needed
  • Never let people interrupt me when I’m talking
  • Very reduced procrastination
  • Driven to give 120% at work when it matters
  • Easily forget bad experiences
  • Little to none negative self talk
  • Libido keeps getting stronger. I feel like I’m 15 again…my wife seems more receptive too (thank God)

Little improvements at work, though. Nothing super positive but I feel that I’m getting noticed / recognized a bit more. Other than that, all the same. Nothing negative either, which it’s good given how Emperor’s intensity can rub some people the wrong way.

From the benefits I described above I’m really enjoying three of them. Never letting people interrupt me it’s interesting because I used to just stop talking the minute someone decided to interrupt. Regardless of whether that person was the president of the company or someone reporting to me. I just stopped talking. Now it’s very different. It took a few times for me to notice what I was doing because it’s not something I’m conscious about in the moment. I noticed this week because one of my colleagues tried to speak at the same time as me in a meeting with our boss. When it happened I just kept going like nothing, not even acknowledging he was trying to talk as well. I think this is awesome because it indicates that I don’t let people walk all over me and that I value my opinion enough to share it without being interrupted.

I’m also really appreciating not dwelling on bad experiences, and keeping negative self talk to a minimum. This week I had a few minor setbacks, and what I would have considered embarrassing moments. Nothing major, but definitely something I would have been bothered by. This time, I had forgot about them within minutes. I also catch myself thinking something negative as soon as it starts and I stop it immediately. I don’t let anything affect my positive and confident mindset. If I’m thinking something that suggests I’m anything less than awesome I stop and say to myself “what???, are you nuts??? It is YOU we are talking about here. You are not thinking straight!!” Again, I do this unconsciously, so it’s only when I look back and write on this journal that I fully realize what I’ve been up to and the effect of the subliminal.

Tomorrow is my rest day. I don’t have any reconciliation issues or anything, but I want to give my brain time to digest all this even though I don’t feel I need it.


#6

Yesterday was my rest day and probably the worst I’ve felt since starting. It all started Saturday night when my wife got her monthly reminder of being a woman…That messed up our plans for the night and since my libido is so high these days I just got super frustrated.

That feeling stayed with me all through Sunday. Since it was my rest day, I had no positive input, just the shit I was telling to myself, so I kept feeling worse and worse. To top it off, my wife made a comment at the end of the day about me being sour all day, and that really hurt me. More than anything, it hurt me because it was true. It’s one of the things I’d be happy to fix with Emperor. As a secondary goal to improving my career, it’d be nice to recover the zest for life and joy I used to have in my 20s. Ever since I started a family and became a consultant (which happened at about the same time) all I do is work. I work all the time; if it’s not for my company, it’s at home. It’s very hard for me to relax, have fun, and unplug from all of this. When I do something “fun”, 95% of the time is fun for my kids. And the other 5%, I don’t really enjoy it like I used to. I feel my mind is still at work, trying to figure out stuff, or what the next step should be in my career.

Come to think of it, I feel better during the week than on the weekends. Saying this I feel like a workaholic, but it’s not that. I just feel more in control of my day when it’s a work day, and that makes me feel better. On the weekends it’s all about running errands, and doing stuff with the kids, so I feel absolutely no control over my time. I have zero free time and, even if I had it I would feel guilty using it for something other than being with my family because I work so much during the week. It’s gotten to a point where, in the rare ocassions that I’m left alone, I have no clue what to do with my time. I don’t have any hobbies besides exercising, so when I’m done with that I don’t know what to do. I’m almost never alone so that’s rarely a problem.

I played Emperor last night and I’m starting to feel better. Not sure how much of this is attributable to Emperor, and how much comes from the fact that the weekend is finally over. I’m going to watch myself closely next weekend, and if it’s as shitty as this one I’ll consider moving my rest day to sometime during the workweek. Not sure if this would help me feel better, but worth the shot. Would also be interesting to see how I feel on my rest day during the workweek vs. over the weekend.


#7

Great few days since my last post. The unshakeable confidence and great mood all returned after the rough patch over the weekend.

I’m starting to notice an increased ability to defend my point of view. Heck, yesterday I was even able to change my wife’s mind about something! This is a first in the 18 years we’ve known each other. I hope this is the subliminal at work and not a strategy to get me into buying something we don’t need :smirk:

I’m gradually noticing more respect from my boss too. He includes me in everything and asks for my opinion more often. He has been taking my point of view over his own quite often in the past few days as well.

Finally, I’ve been wondering whether knowing that I’m being exposed to the subliminal has benefits of its own. I’m inclined to think it helps somehow, particularly in the short or immediate term, acting as a “security blanket” of sorts. I’m saying this because I don’t feel as solid on rest days; it takes much less to get me off track when I’m not exposed to the subliminal.

This week, for example, I faced pretty much the same situations that triggered bad feelings and a change in mood during the weekend, yet this time it didn’t affect me. I could notice the unpleasant feelings, yet my mind veered focus away from those almost instantly. It also never dwelled on them later.

I wonder if the “safety blanket” feeling is a common occurrence.