Today I start my journal with Emperor, SOLO.
As I mentioned on another post, over the past 5 weeks I’ve been using Emperor and Stark as core subs, with Commander, Aura and Sanguine as support modules. I’ve used them in various ways, from combining Emperor and Stark almost equally throughout the day, to separating them in different days, to more recently separating them in different weeks and with no other modules in the mix.
Just completed my week using only Stark, and the outcome is that I still prefer Emperor by a lot. Yes, Stark made me more social than Emperor, but it also made me more tired in general. In fact, two days ago I woke up the most tired I’ve been in a long time, even though I also slept way more than usual. I don’t like to stay in bed in the mornings and I’m typically up after 5-6 hours feeling like I couldn’t sleep any longer, however with Stark I’ve been sleeping 6-8 hours and still didn’t want to get out of bed.
The most important thing, however, is that I kept missing the feeling that Emperor gave me. It’s hard to describe, but it feels like a very deep-rooted confidence in myself, like nothing or no one can make me feel bad. I felt solid, grounded, “on-purpose”. I could be social, but preferred to do other things. Also, I didn’t feel more tired, quite the opposite. Many days I noticed that the time I spent in bed felt double what it was, probably because dreams were easier to remember and somehow more real, complete stories as opposed to my regular kaleidoscope of images and feelings embedded in a small story with no beginning or end.
Now, to provide some context, I’m a management consultant and have been doing this for almost eight years now. I enjoy the type of work that I do, but I’d rather move to something else outside of professional services, where I can have more control over what I work on, and not travel as much so that I can stay closer to my family. My goal is very simple, I want to do better in my career, and develop whatever needs to be developed (e.g., personality, skills, relationships, etc.) to advance faster and higher. I don’t mind if I have to stay in consulting a bit longer to benefit my career progression, but I ultimately want to change. I also wouldn’t shy away from starting my own business if a good idea or opportunity pops up, but right now that’s not what I’m after and would prefer to keep working for an established organization.
In terms of how I’ll be using Emperor, I’ll do as much as I can as long as it feels right. I like sleeping with the masked version on, as I’ve gotten used to it and actually helps me sleep. During the day, I play the ultrasonic version out of my phone while I work. I’m not being very rigid when it comes to the actual number of hours. For example, if I feel I’ve had enough exposure all morning, I may rest in the evening. Sometimes I also stop it in the middle of the night if I wake up and feel like I had enough. In terms of rest days, I usually reduce exposure either drastically or completely during the weekends, to provide some rest. However, even this I do it based on how I feel at the time. Everyone is different, so I prefer to keep doing what feels right to me instead of strictly following any recommendations.
Finally, I’m aiming for 6 months; longer if needed. I’ll also be trying to update this journal somewhat regularly. At least once a week, but also more often if something worth noting happens. To that point, I’m not expecting any crazy changes in attitude or feelings because this is not a new experience to me. I already reported those initial “effects” from the subliminals in early posts. Having said that, I will try to stay observant and will share anything out of the ordinary when it happens.
I don’t see this as either good or bad; I don’t need it, but it doesn’t bother me either. I take it as a side effect of choosing Emperor over something more focused like Mogul or even Ascended Mogul.