Self Development Road Map

This is a very important daily goal. Congratulations, and I wish for you to keep going!

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Stay on course. Women success is business success!

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Hahaā€¦ Women are distracting me for my true path :see_no_evil::see_no_evil:ā€¦ At this moment, the manifested women are wasting my time.

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Ooh, Iā€™d think adding a few notches would help with family business negotiation. j/k

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Something happened, and I feel disgusted with myself.

I was sharing soup with a cousin of mine. He is 10 years old.
We sat a few seats apart.
Instead of asking him to move close to me, I moved close to him.
Right after I did, I realized I broke one of the 48 laws of power.
PCC has failed me today.

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Haha, what did these women do, exactly, that would make you think itā€™s ā€œtoo much?ā€

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Wasting my time

Do you want it to be that rigid? Like every single interaction?

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Itā€™s fine (and respectful) not to use the laws on your cousin :wink:

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I had a huge fall out with my mother.

She is 95% amazing and 5% emotional blackmail and manipulation, that has been compounded for 26 years.

Although the emotional blackmail stopped decades ago,
26 years of suppressed emotions came out as a 100% thrashing on her. I over did it, that too Infront of my dadā€™s sister.

My mom is not talking to me anymore.

I feel disgusted on myself! I feel disgraced as a son

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Right now it probably just feels like total sh*t. But itā€™s important to stop the over-reaction as soon as possible.

You say you overdid it with her. Well, try to let that be the last overdoing.

Donā€™t over-do the guilt now. It will just be a continuation of the exact same mistake.

First, manage yourself.

Repeat after me: First, manage myself.

Once you do that, thereā€™s a chance to manage the other things.

Eventually, youā€™ll probably be making peace with her. Maybe even making it up to her. But itā€™s important that you do so from a place of equanimity and centeredness. Otherwise, guess what will happen? More resentment. That will then accumulate and drive the exact same cycle at some point in the future.

So, donā€™t beat up anybody. Not her. Also not yourself.

Your mom is a grown woman. And sheā€™s seen you your whole life. She may be hurt in this moment. But she knows that thereā€™s more to you than just this one interaction.

Try to be emotional and unemotional at the same time. Feel your feelings and interpret what theyā€™re telling you, about who you are right now and what you need right now. But donā€™t let those feelings control the show and drive you to either aggression or excessive guilt.

Take a deep breath. Compassionate to yourself. Feel the pain.

Then take a step back. Figure out what is right.

:muscle:t6:

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:ā€™) thank you for this

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Iā€™ve been feeling like I can handle subliminal overdrive.

Last night I set my over night playlist as.

Sanguine
QL St2
Sanguine
EOG St1
EOG St1
EOG St1
Kst4
KSt4
KSt4
EOGst1
KSt4

I woke up initially at 6am. Put on think and grow rich audiobook and went back to sleep.

Then woke up again at 9.

I feel like a beast!

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Thinking of taking action is giving me less anxiety.
I donā€™t know if it extends to every action out there yet. But, definitely less anxiety for the action I had to take in the last two days.

Two days ago, I cried alot at night thinking of things that could go wrong, my world had been feeling upside down. Then I decided to switch Out PCC and put in Sanguine.

I wasnā€™t sure if I should use Regeneration or Sanguine. But I wanted to go with Sanguine.

I am not drowned with the anxiety of things that could go wrong.

I am going on with my day as normal. Before, this wouldnā€™t have been possible.

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My mother has disowned me today.

I donā€™t know what to say about myself.

She has given her everything for me. How could I insult her Infront of people

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Thatā€™s such a sad situation and bad news @mecharc! I feel for your painā€¦

From past experience, do you think that is a temporary anger and over time you can get your mother to forgive you? Or is this something new and a bigger problem than youā€™ve faced with her before?

Stay strong!

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@AMASH It was confusion from age 3 to 6, that turned to guilt 7- 12, that became anger from 13, which got anchored to any out of the ordinary actions by her ie. Certain irrelevant things she would only say Infront of me, but never Infront of others demeaning my father etc.
It kept on building up until I finally cracked day before yesterday. I insulted her alot Infront of people. I actually over did it. Once it started coming out I revealed all her flaws which she didnā€™t deserve. I really over did it. She has done so much for me besides the manipulation. I got blinded by the anger. I damaged our relationship, destroyed it. I donā€™t know if she can ever forget what I did.

I feel mad at myself

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I feel very sad for you @mecharc

Is there a lesson you could learn from this that can help all your future relationships with people? Sometimes, the most painful experiences give the biggest lessons.

Please, stay strong, and I hope she can remember her love for you and the relationship to not be destroyed.

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I can imagine how you feel. It happens to the best of us. The more you love someone, the more it hurts when you accidentally hurt them.
I feel like your relationship is strong enough to endure this. Give her a bit of time, show her your sincere apology and I doubt she wont accept it. Most mothers are like this.
For now, Iā€™d stop think about the mistakes and see what you could learn from it. For example, how could you deal with this anger the next time you feel it rise up?

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The anger wonā€™t do anything to me anymore. Iā€™ve let out everything that had been haunting me for the last 26 years. Itā€™s all gone. It all came out. I just feel I got rid of the trauma at great expense @AMASH.

Even if she becomes okay, I know what I have said, I know how much I have embarrassed her Infront of others, only I know how embarrassed I am. Even if she forgives me, this embarrassment will never go away.

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