The societal/communal IOIs are gratifying, certainly. But this message from Kenya while I’m here at work is what makes mein heart ❤️🔥
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Men in my class at school and that I encounter at work want to hang out with me a LOT lately.
Women out and about wanna be with me.
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Yeah, more and more dudes have been asking me of late “do you drink or smoke” or “what do you do when you’re not doing this” and similar asks.
Wanted expresses so very naturally for me in my aloofness, I can’t help but give as little as possible to people (male or female) just for funsies.
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My inner world intelligence is more clear again. My ability to sit with unpleasant emotions is by and by improving.
My productivity at work was suffering due to internal turmoil a week or so ago. I’m back to where I like to be.
My ability to get tasks done was not affected so much as the motivation/willingness to do so. There was a period of a few days where it felt like I was going through the motions of living.
For my (or others) reference, this corresponds approximately to whenever I posted that I had some growing up to do.
Yeah, I’m getting things done at work AND enjoying it.
Getting a sense of fulfillment from completing things I started or wanted to get done.
Getting excited at the idea of handling other things that ‘normally’ I might reason that someone else can do.
Interestingly, in the past few days, I’ve noticed that my comments on social media are generating waaaaay more reactions. I’m consistently seeing notifications in the hundreds of likes 
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My intuition is sharpening yet again. My high and low sensitivity has likewise broadened; I’m perceiving quite a damn bit on a moment by moment basis that is causing me to have to slow down and process things internally.
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Elevation is imminent (or eminent …?)
I’m not sure if the following comes from Wanted or what but…
Kenya and I did the sex this morning when I got off from work.
After fulfilling my role as a man and full-filling her va-
Anyways, we were about to smoke some budders. I went to break down the weed, situating myself so that mein meat was suspended menacingly directly over her face, and calmly started grinding the weed as if everything was as it should be.
She caught my eye and raised her eyebrows in question.
I shrugged and made a noncommittal grunt and gestured to My Dickness, almost as if to say “That’s between y’all.”
She giggled and stared at it for awhile above her. She grasped it gingerly and started to slap random parts of her face with it and gasped.
I paused and glanced down at her with an eyebrow raised.
“Omgaaaawd babe!”
I raised the eyebrow just slightly higher and waited.
She started doing it again, more slowly and squealed.
I side eyed her with a squint and went back to my task, figuring she would get around to explaining herself when she felt like it. Of course, that was when she exclaimed (I wanted to use ‘ejaculated’ here) “He’s so fucking hot babe!”
Taken completely by surprise and not trying to drop remnants of bud on her face while I was doing my thing, I said “Hot? What do you mean hot?”
“He’s burning up bae! Why is he so hot?”
My mind went to Khan Black but I haven’t run it in awhile. I thought of and mused out loud that it could be the friction from our sex, but then she has never mentioned it before.
All of that to say…
My dick is on fire.
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The difference between reconciliation and 'zults is perception; they’re both manifestations of inner activity. One I appreciate, the other not so much at the time.
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I decided about an hour ago that I want a new black and red hat.
I walked outside a moment ago and even though it’s dark outside what with it being in the witching hour, my eyes immediately flew and focused on a dark figure across the street.
I had a sense that it was the transient/homeless guy that I generally put my food spoilage to the side for every graveyard shift and I was right, though consciously there was no discerning features that gave him away, outwardly.
He came towards the store and I walked back in, grabbed the bag of stuff I had already loaded up in case he showed, and gave it to him. He thanked me with a smile and turned around
I went back in the store and was doing some ADHD crap and walking in circles, trying to remember what my purpose was (or if I had one at the moment 
) and he comes into the store with a box.
He walks up to me and, smiling again, opens it and pulls out a red and black hat.
I blinked stupidly a couple of times, failed to process, took out my BT headphones and found the ability to think again enough to say, “Huh?”
He laughed and gestured towards me with the hat.
My eyes widened and I pointed my hand towards my chest, mouthing “for meeeeee?”
He nodded and I reached out, still a bit stunned.
I explained to him what I just said, about having decided I wanted a red and black hat just a bit ago and as I looked at the hat again talking about it, I noticed the bird emblem.
I fuggin’ love certain birds (I’m sure I’ve talked about Northern Mockingbirds and/or peregrines at least once here) so THAT almost broke me.
He nodded, smiled and walked away, saying, “I’m glad it worked out, then.”
Damnit…He hit me with a me move.
GG my guy
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I don’t give myself enough credit.
The shit I deal with internally on a day to day basis would 5150 the lesser initiated; it’s time I start actually affirming myself instead of beating myself up over a perceived/assumed/projected failing, mistake or shortcoming, more often
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Workflow productivity and customer service 'portin 🫡
Today, observing myself working from the outside (not even gonna try to make that make sense) the vibe I get from myself reminds me of how I feel when I’m a new-hire at a job, eager to get to work and handle things, and free of the need to impress my boss, coworkers or customers with my ‘value’.
I AM my value.
I see it.
That’s what matters.
Embodying it and therefore, it cannot help but be as it is.
And so it is.
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Female customer walking in to the store at (x) A.M:
“Jeez, I hope this guy doesn’t ask me for my number.”
Female customer walking out of my store at (x) A.M:
“Why the hell didn’t he at least ask me for my number?!”
My 'zults as of the last quarter in a nutshell.
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I almost wish I still played guitar with my childhood friend.
I wanna make a Metallica Tribute Remix, named “Ride the Recon.”
Note: this is not a cry for help or even ‘complaint’. I’m not really reconning rn, just an after-thought.
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Wanted and Ascension, masked
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From thoughts to journal, no decision has been made.
Based off of what I’m reading on the SP for the New Godlike Masculinity, I’m considering incorporating the MT into my stack or creating a Wanted/NGLM custom.
I own GLM Commander, but not the original.
Ascension is treating me fine.
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The same lady just came in to my job right now, wearing an oversized flannel that came down to her thighs.
She got out of her car smiling at me (I happened to be looking out when she pulled up).
I sipped my coffee and stared at her unblinking over my cup until she got in the door to my store. She walked right up to my side, by my POS and stared at me grinning. I couldn’t hold it and busted up laughing.
Right when I was gonna break the silence, she elegantly opened up her oversized top and pulling it to the sides with her hands, wordlessly showed me what she had underneath; a baby blue lingerie set, with lace on the bottom half, subtly revealing rosy pink nipples behind the veil.
She held it for a brief moment, laughed and waving, left the store.
I said:
But alas; for I was alone.
No camera to share the moment with.
And therefore, I did not pass GO!
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