Just cut off this female I’ve been texting since… December? Now seeing that after I’ve typed it…
Anywhoodle. This woman has checked off several red flags since day 1, but I saw it through for several reasons
- Curiosity
- Experimenting
- Testing my intuition
All three are pretty related, I suppose.
We’ve had the classic cases of flaking and changing up the day of or ‘being too tired to hang out’, intermittent (note to self, double check that you actually remember how to use that word) and inconsistent texting responses after initially in the first couple of days replying so quickly that I put down my phone to give time and space a chance to catch up for a few minutes in between.
This (all memory and flowing from indignant fingers) abruptly turned into sometimes hours before she responded or sometimes it would be the next day before I would hear from her.
Naturally this triggered suspicions but at the time, I had a deal with myself that I was going to wait for a woman to have sex with that I vibed with on multiple levels and certain other things that I don’t actually remember 
I remember that she matched with me on Hinge when I was doing laundry, hella amped and doing push-ups and pullups and generally being a fuggin’ unit. So when we matched, I was not too pressed. She was somewhat attractive to me in her photos but I liked the eyes.
But it was the eyes that also made me really, really question if she qualified.
She is near my age and actually a year and change older, which was one thing that caught my attention. I don’t remember exactly why at the time but I had recently decided I was done with 19-23 year old girls and their… Ways.
So yeah anyways, we talked. Cool personality in parts, nice sense of humor. Part of the reason I even continued with her for so long (goddamn, December??)
So I skimmed through the texts real fast for my own memory. I told her 1/4, “We’re hanging out the 8th, make sure your after work schedule is clear 
.”
Not gonna lie, I was proud of myself for being that damn assertive with a woman I’d never met before
I had sent that sometime around midnight and she responded the next day with “GM 
”
“Well, I suppose that’s either a way of agreeing without agreeing or ignoring very kindly,” I mused to myself and continued about my sage morning.
We continued texting and I actually wrote it off in my head and made other plans to hang out with my kids that weekend. The days leading up to it, she didn’t mention it a single time until the 7th.
“Tmw is the 8th btw 
” she said, out of nowhere.
“I’m glad you noticed ;)” was my response.
Banter, banter and I said to her that she never mentioned the 8th after what I had said and she said:
“I did acknowledge it and I was happy you just said I was buy then and you madd plans , but now I feel your hesitation and I’m second guessing everything.”
That’s a copy paste and my eyes hurt piecing that together again but, long story short; I never got that text.
I told her that I never got the text but maybe it didn’t go through on my end, all I received was the good morning text and that there was/is no hesitation on my part.
Her:
My memory isn’t clear on what my reaction to that was the first time I saw it (likely a face similar to “
”) but my reaction in re-reading that is to get irritated and then remember that this was kinda an experiment in the first place.
So. The 8th comes.
We’re texting throughout the day. All was well. I shared photos of my motorcycle and she shared that she worked for Harley for 7 years. Unicorns frolicked, lullabies sang themselves.
At 1:48 PM (might have been in Utah when I got the text so in Vegas time that’s actually 12:48 PM) she sent a voice message complaining about her subway sandwich. $15 for a foot long or sum’n.
I responded when I got home (yeah, I was in Utah I remember) around 4 with the obligatory ‘wtffff’
I waited until about 5:40 or so if I remember right to text her again, “How was work?” both in curiosity and because I figured she would be home by then off work.
Got my response at 9:13 PM:
“Soooo draining !!”
And then…
“How are you…?”
I ignored the texts and went to bed.
But Sage. That’s early af my guy, what gives?
Well, dear reader I’m grateful you wondered. I work Monday through Saturday, Sunday being my only day off.
I clock in at 4:15 AM. The 8th was a Sunday. The next day then, was a work day. Which she was aware of. I’ve turned down an easy threesome - regrettably and I question it sometimes - because I had work the next day.
Priorities, dear reader.
So yeah, after I ignored her that night, on 1/11 she sent “
”.
My notification came, I saw…I ignored it.
At this point, I was going to just let her go away. Didn’t wanna hurt any feelers by blocking her without an explanation. Trust me… I’m very quick nowadays lol. Closure is an illusion.
1/12 she sent “just disappeared”
And then…
“Cool 
”
Which pissed me off so I responded. I obviously saw it for what it was but I got self-righteous which… Rarely ends well. For me.
But that’s not this account.
My response:
"So, when I make plans to hang out, I like communication. I’ve noted that you seem to respond hours or even a day later at times.
So, when I texted you asking how work was, and you responded back at 10:15 - on a day I had set aside time to do things with you - that left quite the sour taste in my mouth.
I like to be on the same page with people and if I sense someone’s not as interested in me as I am in them, I simply let it go and move on."
And theeeeen…
“So, if we continue talking, I want to remind you that I did tell you that I move on very quickly if someone seems not worth my time. I work 6 days a week and I set the one day I have off towards you. If you can’t understand why that is upsetting then there’s not much else for me to say.”
And because I was already halfway through blocking her in my head anyway, I added:
“The energy I get from you is that you’re involved with someone else already and if that’s the case, I’m more than fine just keeping this platonic.”
Now. For my own sake, saying this to me if I ever read this again…
BRUH.
That’s good enough. Let’s continue with our tale.
"Oh I completely understand , I work a lot as well today is my first day off in 13 days , my apologies that the time you set up to get together was on on a day after a 11 hour shift and I was exhausted , if I don’t seem worth your time then by all means please feel free to move on , I’m very easy going and as I can already see by your repeatedly saying “someone worth my time” kinda makes me feel like you already weren’t interested to begin with , I’m not involved with anyone else or in any kind of relationship I have been single for the 4 years that I have been here "
Reading that again is… The amount of tolerance for certain kinds of behavior I’ve lost in between then and now is incredible honestly, cuz…wooooo…wow.
Anyways, I’m not gonna pick that apart but apologizing that someone chose a day you work a “13 hr shift” - quotations for a reason - even though you agreed to said day and confirmed the day before… Well.
So, even though that rubbed me in every way except the handy way (surely RVC won’t have an issue with that one), I simply told her that I require better communication if we’re gonna continue forward.
Smh @ you, old me.
I typed this all out on my phone and I’m oh so tempted to be done but imma see it through my boy! Okay so anyways, because I’m getting impatient to move on with my life let’s skip ahead with some quick notes:
-
until I just took her off Snapchat, we never did hang out. She actually asked me today if we could hang out this weekend. I told her I’ll let her know if I have time.
-
she confirmed for me that my intuition is quite on point. My lack of faith in my intuition however, is most disturbing.
-
blah blah
-
blah blah
And now we’re in the future, yaaay.
So, this friggin’ lady asked “when we’ll be able to meet up this weekend and get together”. I told her I’ll let her know if I have the time.
Idk what time that was, but it was around 12. She responded on Snapchat with some Kevin Gates song screenshot like 2 hours ago.
I was confused, responded in the picture reply that I don’t listen to KG, what’s the song for though?
She said something like “I’m so sorry, wrong person yes let’s meet up how’s Ryan?”
I said to the best of my memory, “Oh. Well, at least it wasn’t your nipple or something like that, lucky you! Who’s Ryan?”
She said why do you say that?
Warning buzzer
“Why do I say…? What, the nipple thing?”
This kinda went back and forth for a second with me being confused about what she was asking. She said she meant to send what she sent me to her coworker Barbie about some person that never showed up for work named Ryan, cheese and rice.
She sent me a screenshot of Barbie’s Snapchat as if that was going to prove something to me and…
Warning buzzer
It fully clicked. Not that it didn’t before, I just waited to see if I was tripping or something. Ryan is a gorgeous name for a woman but…
I don’t believe Ryan is a woman.
Note: I had no illusion before this that I’m the only guy she talks to, lol.
The Kevin Gates song was, “Time For That”. I feel like if I listen to that song again, suddenly the lyrics will actually make more sense for what just happened
Oh and yeah, I did forget to mention. I assumed almost off the bat that she was drinking based off of the fact that she wasn’t making sense to me, part of the reason I suspended my intuitive conclusion. I think she was in fact drinking but yeah.
So, after realizing she was being defensive, I realized she must have misunderstood something, took a deep breath and as gently as I could manage, explained what I said, what I meant by what I said.
(gently: without being a dick)
I finished and left it “with this has been exhausting”, and left Snapchat just as I saw her thingy get on the chat.
I think there was 5 seconds of space and I got the typing notification. Took a bit, so I figured she was working out things.
Opened it as soon as she sent it and she had focused on only the last thing I said.
This has been exhausting.
She said something about, “only if you let it be kid”, “yeah you went on and on about something that didn’t need to” “cool man do whatever you want” and some other shit.
I blinked once or twice at my phone.
"Nope, that’s real, "I mused aloud to myself as I felt the response creating itself in my head.
I won’t bother pretending to remember what I said as it all came straight from my core. I will say I didn’t call her out of her name or even cuss at her once. The nice thing about being fantastic with words is the fact that it doesn’t actually take coarse or even forceful language and energy to get the point across.
But, if she managed to make it through it all without regretting something, I’d be impressed.
Not implying I set out to make her regret losing me, just in case that’s how that looks.
I guarantee she’ll not forget losing me.
My first thought when I blocked her number was, “I wonder how long it’ll take before I get a text from a strange number.”
We’ll see how my intuition plays out with that one.
Damn…what a long post, not even gonna proofread it 😮💨
