Rise of a Dynasty

Journals - Major Programs
#43

Day 10

Back from vacation with friends. Felt intense anxiety returning to work. I really really hate my job, but not sure where to look for one. Since I have no further desire to work in the accounting or financial field.

A Manifestation of heartsong is that when I left for the week my wife began looking for me an ADHD couples therapist. She said that she wanted to help me out while we are in a loving place of our relationship so we become stronger since a lot of what her issues are with me is because of my condition and wants to understand it more. She made it clear she loves me the way I am but wants to help give me the tools to make life easier. Through this conversation I realized how hard I make life for myself when it doesn’t have to be that way. Also how much she really loves and wants our already strong relationship to grow even stronger.

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#44

Day 11 rest day
Felt very blah today. Felt kinda depressed during work. On top of it my wife is dragging me to an event I really don’t want to go. But I’ve her and she does things she doesn’t like for me so oh well.

Mainly a day of melancholy reconciliation.

Absolutely dreaded going to go to the Deer district to watch the NBA finals right next to the stadium, but I had a great night in the Deer District. Not a huge fan of basketball but it was pretty cool to be in the Deer District when the Bucks won the Finals at Milwaukee.

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#45

Day 12

Despite being pretty tired, I had decent productivity at work in the morning. I seem to be able to catch up a bit easier.

I have not moved on my business at all. I feel very blocked as to what I think my next steps should be and my brain is just tired after work. I am sure this is recon from stage 1 QL

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#46

Day 13 - rest day

Woke up absolutely exhausted but was able to be mostly focused throughout work. I notice I am so much more hungry than normal when on the subliminals compared to last week’s washout.

Pretty much took an L on working on my business this week. Post vacation blues hit really hard and there was a lot to do around the house. Hopefully I can regroup next week.

#47

Day 14

Had just a wierd day. Kinda hard to describe why it was wierd, just kinda felt out of place. Wife found a ADHD therapist who wants to help create systems to help me succeed instead of trying to force my brain to work in ways it cannot. Very confused for my business. The doubts are really starting to pile up on the inner game of creating a side hustle. Feeling kinda trapped in my job.

#48

Day 16 rest day
Bought and have been playing COD Modern Warfare Campaign and holy shit is it graphic and intense and realistic to what easily could happen in our world. It has a gripping narrative and definently has a bit of horror elements and that’s fucked up this is happening.

In terms of subs I feel myself really being molded and feeling of my mind be pounded by a hammer and anvil. I thought about switching to only Mogul but then remember why I chose my long term plan. I really desire a complete entrepreneur subliminal and would drop my custom in a heartbeat. Quite a bit of recon, but I can feel progress in my mind through the recon. Unfortunately I feel completely lost on my business efforts. I have been spinning my wheels for too long and am trying to surrender to the situation but my mind fights so hard.

Made love last night with the wife but it felt like we were both forcing it so I’m taking action in terms of my custom but recon seemed to be in full force.

QL1 seems to be overpowering the rest of my stack. But that’s okay and part of the plan. I need to really fix my brain once and for all.

Tonight however when we made love it was very playful, fun and very enjoyable for us both. I find I enjoy sex when it’s more lighthearted and not take it so seriously.

We got a lot done around the house. Still pretty defeatist mindset on the business aspect. Pretty frustrated with that.

Lots of ups and downs on this stack like an old beach roller-coaster

#49

Day 17
I notice I have more productive days at work when I listen to my subs at night and less brain fog from listening to the subliminals.

I am able to focus a bit better than normal and get in the flow a bit faster and quicker. Time at work seems to go by really fast.

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#50

Day 18.

I really like running the subliminals at night. It knocks me out and then I don’t have to deal with the brain fog while I am attempt to be productive plus it feels like some alchemical changes happened immediately through my intense dreams while I am asleep.

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#51

Day 19
Felt a lot of intense feelings right before I fell asleep and after I woke up. It started to die down a bit during the morning but sort of simmered. More intense dreams. I have had lots of thoughts about switching my stack but have caught myself realizing it’s just reconciliation and that this too shall pass.

It just amazes me how some people act online. I wonder if it’s their true self coming out or what. I have spent a lot of time studying history and one thing is clear, everyday humans have incredible capabilities to be incomprehensibly evil towards their fellow man. (Holocaust, Stalin’s loyal soldiers, African Civil Wars, what Japan did to China before the rest of Europe fell into WWII.) On the flipside because there is those levels of depravity and evil there are those levels of good to be found. Since there’s the law of equal and opposite reaction is true for more than physics. Our creator whoever you believe gave us evil so we can know good, dark so we can know light. Hopefully we can find a way to spotlight acts of kindness instead of tragedies.

#52

Day 20
Pretty rough night due to woken up by tornado sirens and tornado warning alerts on my phone. I did not have as productive of a morning as I would like. But focusing at work is starting to get a bit easier. QL really shines through in my stack. Hopefully Mogul and RICH will kick in soon. I can’t seem to find the right combination for building a business with subs.

Started couples and individual therapy, this has to be a Manifestation of heartsong and I know deep inside I have needed therapy for a while now.

I am going to cut my Mogul Custom and add House of Medici. I need to grab on more personal power. My wife has made it clear she wants me to step up around the house and in life. I think the emperor component in it as well as the relationships aspect of it are what I need for this next phase of my life still sticking with QL, RICH and my Lover and Friend custom.

Watching Survivor a lot lately has led me to HOM since I need to develop shrewdness and that killer insttinct in life. In therapy I realized I am good about avoidance and work around, now it’s time I take that and begin outmanuevering life before I get voted off the island.

#53

damm man, where dis? Near Alaska?

I’m stating QL from today. Did my 1st loop of ST1 today.
What do you mean it shines in your stack? What is ur experience so far with QL?

what dis mean? what’s your job? do u have a business?

thanks

#54

No I live in the American Midwest

Kind of hard to describe its like my brain is repairing itself from a lot of damage from over the years physically from a concussion and mentally from experiences.

I really struggle in life, I have a lot of resiliency but I have just survived in life and haven’t really been able to thrive in it. I am a govt accountant for my job and have a side hustle but it hasn’t made any money yet.

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#55

i had read about the massive earthquake near aslaka

this is good news man, congo!

don’t they make a decent living? wife works or housewife?

#56

@RVconsultant can you change this journal name to “Rise of a Dynasty”

Thank you.

#57

We make a decent living but I Hate being a salary slave, but I’m not sure what I want to do so I am dealing with it until I can figure something else out.

My wife works and infacts makes more money than I do by almost 2 fold. Being from a Hispanic background she also controls a lot of the house but is quickly getting stressed by increase in workload, studying and housework so she is looking for more help. It also doesn’t help she can’t feel like she can enjoy her job and tell me about it because I hate mine so much.

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#58

Day 21
Slipped and started watching porn because I was so bored. That hasn’t happened in a while. Noticed I am a lot more horny lately.

I feel my head is in one bit readjustment phase. Excited for HoM, I think it was self sabotage that I waited so long to get it. It is the file that best matches a social entrepreneur.

Been drawn to listening country love songs, thank you Heartsong making me a big softy. My heart feels a lot fuller.

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#59

Day 22

Traveling day on first day of vacation. I felt a lot more competent and confident in general today. Acute effects from HOM are nicr Listened to true social as a booster as part of the new listening guidelines and it helped me be in the moment when socializing and my social anxiety decreased.

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#60

Day 26
With adding HoM I feel like I am getting better results. I am noticing a pull towards stocks and bonds as a career choice and thinking of going for those types of certifications. I feel a relaxed sense of dominance in general not hardcore like emperor when I first ran it.

My ADHD seems to be acting up a lot more this morning. Ran love bomb as a booster and I think that threw me into slight overload.

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#61

What happened?

#62

I felt a slight overload on the morning in terms of feeling a little tight in my head in the morning.But the rest of the day was great after lunch. Had a blast hanging out with people. People were light hearted with me and thanked me for doing things that always don’t get a thank you. It was so easy to interact with others. Just a wonderful day